Pumpkin

You wonder what the heck you are on about. You are quite sure that there are no pumpkins in Jailbreak, Problem Sleuth, or Homestuck, and that there is no pumpkin article on this wiki, and never will be. Quite frankly, you find the notion absurd.

It is fairly obvious that a pumpkin would make a, and an. You wonder, if there was a pumpkin, why you would to it? It doesn't even occur to you that it would be able to. And heaven forbid someone try to utilise it in a PS 1299 (Gambit Schema). Though HS 2551 (if it existed), it would be HS 2568 (somewhat tasty).

HS 2664 (Dropping it on someone's head) would utterly fail, since there was no pumpkin there to begin with.

Even HS 2678 (captchaloguing) it neither proves nor denies its existence, as it seems to deappearify into thin air, even HS 2696 (right out of a sylladex deck!) If one existed in the first place, it certainly doesn't have a Sylladex code that can be understood enough to be used in a Punch Designix. Likewise, a HS 2606 (pumpkin key) on a keyboard can be prone to HS 2607 (never existing at all).

Like pumpkins, HS 2578 (small potted plants) also do not exist.

As a matter of fact, pumpkins have never existed, yet people still experience strange visions of these mythical gourds. The common "encounter with the pump-kind" results in the pumpkin's disappearance upon any attempted interaction with it.

You wonder if this article even exists in the first place.

Conspiracy theory


Some people among the MSPA community are convinced that there are pumpkins throughout Homestuck, Jailbreak, and Problem Sleuth, but we all know that is impossible, since we've all read all three of them and never once seen a pumpkin pop up anywhere.

These people's common theories are that there is HS 2638 (a pumpkin) in HS 2649 (this area) and HS 2639 (this area) that are HS 2640 (plainly visible) and are HS 2647 (being used) by the Wayward Vagabond in HS 2655 (various ways), but there is nothing but air there.

If they did exist they may have been stolen by multiple peopleHS 6122 HS 6412 (in the post-Scratch universe), however this is stupid since they exist in neither the pre- or post-scratch universes.

What pumpkin?
PS 1298 (THIS FUCKING PUMPKIN!)

Remarks
Homestuck Vol. 5 was released under a new very serious and legit record label... What Pumpkin.