Dad

Dad is a character in Homestuck. He is John Egbert's father, so he could be called Mr. Egbert. Dad is distinctly seen as having no facial features other then a nose, a pipe where his mouth should be, and he wears a hat that looks vaguely familiar. He appears to be quite a giving man, leaving presents and encouragement for John all throughout the house on his birthday. Dad looks to be a single father, as the car is still in the driveway and he's the one baking a cake.

Dad seems to have a certain affinity for harlequins. Everywhere you walk in the house (except, fortunately, John's room) you'll find at least one clown, jester, joker, or funny guy. He was issued a restraining order from the cast of Cirque du Soleil for unknown reasons.

Dad's mother has passed away due to an incident with a tall bookshelf, a ladder, and an unabridged Colonel Sassacre's. Her ashes are contained in a Sacred Urn, and a portrait of her toothy grin is displayed above the fireplace in the Living Room.

Dad has been collecting newspaper articles concerning meteor impacts in the suburbs he and his son live in for years, decades even. Whether he has anything to do with Sburb is yet to be determined. The newspaper articles he clips out were stored in a safe in his study, which he apparently intended for John to open when he becomes a fully grown man.

Unknowingly, Dad causes Strife to John, and uses his Guardian Rubric "CoddleBrand" perfectly. He can also Auto-Pastry with his Artifact of Confection effectively as well.

While Dad most likely means well, it appears that John holds some angst toward his father as most teenage boys do, and isn't truly an antagonist or a protagonist in John's adventure. He's more of an unappreciated annoyance than anything else. Despite this, John shows genuine concern for his father's safety and has found himself wishing he knew where his dad was.

Dad was baking yet another cake in the kitchen when the meteor from Sburb crashed into his house and was kidnapped by shale Imps. He was last seen breaking out of his handcuffs and wielding shaving cream and a cake against his captors.

Strife
Dad was shown wielding a broom against Shale Imps implying that his Strife Specibus contains broomKind. However, he also wielded a cake and a pie against John, indicating that he may be in possession of pastryKind in his Strife Portfolio as well. It's possible that guardians simply don't have Sylladexes and, thus, Strife Specibi, allowing them to pick up, use, and wield any items they need to. Dad has also been show to wield cans of shaving cream.

Unsubstantiated conjecture
It can be speculated that Mr. Egbert is the Chosen Arbitor himself, as the notes and other clues point in the direction that Dad has been through a great deal of tribulation himself. His love of strange comedy items could be because all of the busts he loved so much were destroyed in Problem Sleuth. He leaves notes around for others to read, although the ones he leaves for his son are much more gentle in nature. Like the Chosen Arbitor himself, he smokes his pipe much akin to Sleuth Diplomacy and is exceedingly skilled in combat. His non-combat actions are efficient and coordinated, lighting all thirteen candles in a swift motion and able to prank John within a matter of seconds with a cream filled pie while still holding a Cake. The hat John found in Dad's room and is wearing with his disguise is Pickle Inspector's hat. Not to mention the hat that he usually wears bears a striking similarity to the hat Problem Sleuth wears.

Even though Problem Sleuth is a fictional character within the Homestuck universe, weirder shit, puzzle or otherwise, has happened....