Jane Crocker

Jane Crocker is a young lady who lives in the post-scratch universe, and resides in the same location as John did in a pre-scratch version of the universe, her room strongly resembling his. When an attempt was made to name her, it was revealed that her name had already been given at the age of thirteen, engraved on her Honorary Placronym. Besides, she probably would have just been given some dumb name like HS 6016 ("Barnstench Fartface"). She is sixteen years old, and she has been 'selected' to exclusively try out the Alpha version of the upcoming game Sburb along with her friends. Her chumhandle is.

The image on her shirt is that of a Frightening Beast from Problem Sleuth, made into an icon resembling John's Green Slime Ghost. It's notable that the Beast in Problem Sleuth only appeared on the other side of a Window when it was turned off, parallel to the fact that Jane Crocker was introduced shortly after the Yellow Yard was crossed and the fourth wall was broken.

Jane's denizen is Hemera, as indicated by her web browser.

Pre-Entry
She is also the heiress and biggest fan of the company Crockercorp. Because of her status as heiress to the Crocker company, attempts have been made on her life recently, causing her dad to ground her. She dislikes the idea of Roxy hooking up with Jake and wonders why she doesn't hook up with Dirk.

Her dream self seems to have woken up very shortly before the release of the Sburb Alpha, as indicated by the dream she describes to Jake English. Like Jade and John, she is a Prospit Dreamer.

In HS 6182 ("") she scampers off to her mailbox. Upon reaching inside, she is then engulfed in flames due to an explosion, marking the end of HS 006184 ("ACT 6 ACT 1"). She then HS 6290 (wakes up on Prospit) and watches Skaia's clouds and HS 6293 (fondly regards the miracle of a new beginning.) However before she is able to do anything, Jack Noir attacks her, killing her dream self. Shortly after, however, Jane's body is HS 6308 (engulfed by light) as her dream self starts to HS 6310 (do a lifey thing) fulfilling the prophecy that Jane had seen in the clouds just moments earlier and proving herself to be the Maid of Life. Jack attempted to finish her off, but was knocked out by the post-scratch White Queen.

As of Act 6 Act 2, she seems to be dreaming quite peacefully by the side of the house. The God Cat, Earth's post-scratch first guardian, seems to be the one who saved her. Soon afterwards, she runs the Sburb client. Before she can press enter, Roxy tells her to get away from the computer. The client had the ~ATH code, and made Jane's computer explode.

Jane flies out of the house, but is saved again by God Cat, who warps her to the roof of the house. She learns that Dirk is to be her server player for the game now, and that Lil' Sebastian is installing the client onto a different computer, in her father's study. With help from Dirk's auto-responder, Jane is able to slip into the study, where she is pestered by Jake. When she is pressed to answer if she likes him or not, she panics and says no, plummeting into the Friend Zone.

When that is done she is given the Pre-Punched Card to use, but has no idea what it does. Despite this, she uses the totem lathe to create her Cruxite artifact. Heading to the roof, Jane creates the Cruxite Tree with the alchemiter but finds herself unable to do anything to it. Despite Jane's inaction the tree vanishes and Jane witnesses the Battleship Condescension come to a halt above her house as she enters.

Post-Entry
Shortly afterwards, she and her house disappear as well, entering the Land of Crypts and Helium. She is confronted by Gamzee Makara, who offers to be her guide, which she declines. Following this he sells her potions, which are actually troll blood. He then double-prototypes her sprite using Vriska Serket and Tavros Nitram's dead bodies, creating Tavrisprite, although it commits suicide through self-destruction shortly after.

After spending a bit more time on LOCAH searching for Dad, Jane comes across his car and wallet. She is urged by Dirk's auto-responder to recycle the car to obtain grist (as her planet is curiously devoid of Underlings), but she opts instead to recycle one of the many large mirrored obelisks inhabiting LOCAH. While this supplies a massive amount of grist, it also unfortunately removes the mirror (and thus the light reflecting off of it), triggering one of her planet's many puzzles and causing the door of a nearby crypt to slam shut. Lil' Seb runs back to her house and uses the Alchemiter to duplicate the obelisk before returning to Jane, allowing her to enter the crypt as she had previously intended.

Dirk's auto-responder then messages her and tells her that the plan to get everyone into the Medium has to be accelerated, so Jane installs the Sburb server, allowing her to connect to Roxy (who is absent from her home, under attack by Imperial Drones). Jane, watching Roxy's neighborhood burning and being assaulted by the Red Miles, is instructed by the auto-responder to set up everything in preparation for Roxy's arrival. Jane deploys the totem lathe, cruxtruder, and alchemiter, accidentally throwing Roxy's bed into the fire in the process, but then notices that, inside the crypt, Lil' Seb has just vanished using a transportalizer and decides to follow him against the auto-responder's advice, noting that Dad probably came through that way. She activates the Transportalizer and ends up on a flaming, Red-Miles-ridden Derse, where Dirk's dream self watches in surprise. She then notices Jake, who arrived on Derse through the Frog Temple's Derse transportalizer, and proceeds to flip out a little.

Dirk tells Jane to abscond from Derse, but a Red Miles silently struck her from behind, killing her. Dirk attempted to revive her with a kiss, but is knocked out by falling debris before he can do so. Roxy's revived dream self stumbles upon her, and reluctantly attempts to revive her before Dirk's own revived dream self wakes up and does it in her stead out of impatience. Jane's dream self wakes up on Prospit and goes through the transportalizer leading to the Frog Temple, where she is picked up by Dirk and Roxy to witness Jake reviving Dirk's decapitated head.

After entering yet again from Jake's home, she spends half a year in the Medium, creating a giant spoon/fork with a Skaia hilt like the King's Scepter and sporting her detective mustache. As she is traveling with Roxy on the Land of Pyramids and Neon, she is seen stepping into a Window while Roxy sendificates the other end to the top of a pyramid with her Crockercorp rifle and launchs her through the Gate above it.

The next time we see her is on 4/12/12, the day before her birthday. She is preparing for the occasion with Roxy when Jake contacts her and proceeds to vent about his relationship problems. She becomes very upset with him and proceeds to run off to her planet. She loses her steam within a minute or so of being on there. Caliborn takes this moment as an opportunity to contact her and say horrible things, such as the fact that he was watching her, claiming she is fat, and implying her father is probably dead. She then runs off crying to her house.

After talking to Jake on pesterchum, she creates the Green and Red suckers, which COMBINE into a single spiral sucker. Jane isn't able to resist licking the sucker and in HS 7611, we see her engage Trickster Mode! She then blasts off and in the process returns life to half of her planet. On her way to LOMAX, she temporarily enters an unknown part of Paradox Space where she transforms horrorterrors into Squiddles and cherub-like creatures into beings similar in appearance to Lil Cal. Caliborn regards her very fondly as she does this. Upon landing on LOMAX and finding Jake, she talks to him briefly before kicking him off a cliff (HS 5425 (in a familiar manner)) and engaging him in Trickster Mode as well.

By the end of Act 6 Act 5 Act 2, Jane and the other kids have reappeared in the crypts of the moons of Derse and Prospit, disengaged from Trickster Mode and in dizzying pain.

Later, Jack Noir blew up Prospit's moon, causing Jane and Jake to HS 7752 (ascend to the god tiers), where they were soon attacked by Jack. Jade, arriving just in time, saved them from Jack by teleporting him into the furthest ring. Jade is then controlled by the Condesce, where she zaps Jane's tiaratop onto her, allowing the Condesce to control her with far surpassing the capabilities of Dirk's Auto ResponderHS 8277. She then carries a crying Jake to the Condesce.

Jane later confronts Jake in his jail cell, telling him that he is to become her slave husband, and breed all the heirs to the Condesce's empire once she inherits it. This causes Jake to cry.

She was later seen on LOFAF by Jade to help convince Karkat and Kanaya to retrieve the Genesis Frog necessary for the Condesce to win the combined game sessions. Though silent for most of the conversation, Jane stabs Karkat through the heart when he refuses to comply. After killing him, she promptly revives him. Kanaya confronts Jane about this, to which Jane replies by selling her the potions Gamzee sold her. Kanaya complies, due to the potions actually being troll blood, which she thirsts for as rainbow drinker.

Later, she appears with Jade on LOFAF as Jake realizes his power as the Page of Hope, which knocks out Jade and sheds her of the Condesce's possession over her. Jane reacts angrily after Aranea kills the unconscious Jade with a toppled house. Afterwards, Jane apologizes to Jake before killing him with her fork. Jane then launches herself at Aranea, who puts her to sleep. Despite this, she continues to attack Aranea and begins to choke her, possibly due to the Condesce's control or the tiaratop itself. Aranea finally manages to subdue Jane, throwing her off, then telekinetically throwing Ghost Brain Dirk's unbreakable katana at her, but a freshly resurrected Jake heroically intercepts the sword before it can impale her. This effort is wasted, however, as Aranea then merely raises Jake's body and skewers the both of them on the sword. Both Jake and Jane's deaths are permanent, as his was heroic, and hers just.

Personality and Traits
Jane is passionate about practical jokes and pranks. Like John, she will get dressed up in silly disguises and wander around the house (her costuming choices are more reminiscent of sleuths and gumshoes than John's magician and funnyman getups). Also like John she will HS 6027 (publicly perform her favorite scenes) from movies and TV shows. Jane is far more reckless than passive-John, however. Whereas he tends to listen to what people tell him to do, Jane will often disregard their directions. She repeatedly snuck outside when homestuck by Dad and ignored Auto-Responder's warnings to not use the transportalizer that ended up leading to her second death. Likewise, when Roxy insisted they not play Sburb Jane was dauntless and connected with Dirk instead. Her curiosity and rebelliousness are undeterred by goading. One might call her... gutsy.

On the same strain as her impetuousness, Jane is quick to anger. She is usually very cheerful, friendly, and all around similar to the jovial Nannasprite, but possesses a remarkably short fuse once frustrated. She becomes exclamatory the angrier she gets, and may eventually end up caps locking and verbally lashing out at people, just like another character. Continuing with her Karkat parallels, Jane is very cagey about her romantic feelings and would deny them (to Jake) or avoid the topic (to Roxy) if brought up. After the Trickster incident she finally openly discussed her feelings about him. She and Dirk have both said they are unable to tell whether or not they are completely over him.

Jane has bizarre old-fashioned tastes, possibly because her pre-scratch self grew up in the early 20th century. She covers her walls with posters of HS 6026 (foxy) HS 6027 (actors), who tend to be old-fashioned/mustachioed. Her vernacular is characterized by aphorisms decades before her time.

Jane is shown to be very skeptical; much like John was about Jade's knowledge of the future or Karkat about ancestors before witnessing for themselves. She is slow to believe the seemingly outrageous claims her internet friends make about Crockercorp and their bizarre lives, and has been shown to be hesitant to believe Calliope's claims about herself, the world she comes from, or the game of Sburb. This is not surprising given that said claims are quite outlandish. Her reluctance to entertain any bad thought about Crockercorp, however, may also be related to her frequent use of her tiaratop communicator that has been outright HS 7597 (confirmed) to HS 6053 (brainwash) and HS 7800 (control) people.

After being brainwashed her personality changed drastically: Jane became cold, calculating and demanding. Jane claimed to have become an emotionless being that functions entirely on intelligence, as such she doesn't have any problems fighting her old friends, killing innocent people or forcing people to do things against their will. She started to ignore the feelings or other people and disregards anything that goes against the ideals of Her Imperious Condescension, displaying a huge loyalty towards her. However in spite of her claims to be an emotionless machine, she displayed several cases in which she was still acting like a person: She expressed both frustration and attraction towards Jake, she became furious when one of her allies was attacked, she was shocked and mad when Gamzee touched her chest and she reacted bashful when Dave called her hot.

Relationships
Jane has a healthy relationship with her Dad, although she mentions that it was somewhat strained in the past, when he tried to imitate her interests, just like he did with John.

She is with Roxy, although she often questioned her statements and did not listen to her warnings about the Batterwitch until recently.

She also often refers to Jake as J, and Dirk as Mr. Strider/ D. Strider.

Jane, like Dirk and Roxy, had a romantic interest in Jake, but was too nervous or shy to admit it to him, even when he directly confronted her about it. She panicked and denied her feelings outright, resulting in Jake believing she has no interest in him other than being friends. She blamed herself for not being able to take the opportunity, but is now rather unsure of her feelings towards Jake, due to him behaving like an airhead  increasingly self-absorbed and oblivious. However, she excitedly HS 7619 (revealed) her strong romantic feelings to him in Trickster mode.

Calliope is quite close to Jane, and the one to whom she entrusted her juju. Caliborn has HS 7038 (called Jane the one Calliope likes best.) Jane despises Caliborn for what he has done to Calliope. He takes great pleasure in antagonizing Jane from ridiculing her about her body and femaleness, talking about how he has spied on her and Roxy, and lying about her father being dead.

Trivia

 * Her title, Maid of Life, may be a reference to the trolls' caste system, as Aradia, the lowest blooded female, and Feferi, the highest blooded female, are known as the Maid of Time and the Witch of Life, respectively.
 * This may also tie in with Jake's title, the Page of Hope, as Tavros, the lowest blooded male (disregarding Karkat and his mutant blood), and Eridan, the highest blooded male, are known as the Page of Breath and the Prince of Hope, respectively.
 * Interestingly enough, Jane, Feferi and Meenah, the Heroes of Life, have an immediate connection to the Condesce: Feferi being her descendant and heir to her throne, Meenah being her pre-scratch self and Jane being the heir to her company. They also have types of forks as their strife specibi.
 * Jane's shirt symbol is officially a Cyan Ghost Beast, as revealed on the What Pumpkin website. Continuing her shirt's motif, her bedsheets feature various other Beasts from Problem Sleuth on them.
 * She shares her text color with Nannasprite. Her cruxite and kernelsprite also reciprocates John's typing color, and vice versa.
 * Her short-cropped haircut not only resembles Nanna's, but John's as well, though much curlier.
 * According to Caliborn, since he unlocked Jane's screen she has gotten chubbier and become a tad buxom, though Caliborn's ability to judge the human body is questionable. Her body type is corroborated by her depiction in the flash Game Over, in the scene where Jake jumps in front of the sword that Aranea launches at Jane to save her.
 * Jane's screen name, gutsyGumshoe, relates to her interest in detectives (gumshoe is slang for detective).
 * Jane has the same screen name abbreviation like Jade, just as Jake has the same screen name abbreviation of  like John's.
 * When Jane levels up on the echeladder, it is seen that after her acquired rank of "fedorafledgling", the next rank is "heiress sans parent", which was suspected to refer to her dad dying, but in a weird plot shit move, could have been twisted to reference her dying instead. It could be seen as an allusion to her status as a paradox clone, but also as a reference to John's highest ranking of "Heir Transparent".
 * In the HS 6013 (Intro to Act 6 Flash), Jane can be seen playing the piano briefly, much like her Ectobiological son John.
 * Jane's is probably a reference to John's windy thing.
 * Scenes with Jane's death and the collapsing of the Prospit Tower are similar to Jade's death and the collapsing of Jade's tower, both of which commemorate the dropping of the ball on New Year's Eve.
 * She claims Jake is, which is a callback to when John said HS 4528 (the same thing about himself) to Karkat.
 * Jane is one of only two characters to have gone through HS 6565 (two) HS 7160 (entries) into the Medium. The other character was Aradia.
 * Jane and Aradia both happen to be Maids.
 * They also both have themes centering around Life and Death.
 * They also currently both have red color schemes.
 * Jane is the feminine form of the name John.
 * Jane was a crossover character in Namco High.

Джейн Крокер