Homestuck: Act 6 Intermission 5

Act 6 Intermission 5 of Homestuck is a part of Act 6 and the current act. It does not yet have a known title.

Click the "" to open the page from Homestuck.


 * HS 7827 The act opens with a view of year three on the meteor. Karkat pesters Dave on what appears to be a wrist-mounted crab-shaped communication device.
 * HS 7830 After getting no response from Dave, Karkat continues talking and says that they have a problem: the B2 Skaia is visible, indicating that they will be arriving there in the next few hours, and they still aren't ready to face what awaits them in the new session, let alone stop the meteor. He then turns his attention to Terezi, who is lying on the floor asleep, pantsless, and clutching a bottle of Faygo.
 * HS 7835 Dave answers Karkat who tells him they need to hold an intervention, with Dave mistaking it as being for Rose's alleged alcoholism. Karkat corrects him, explaining how they need to have a talk about Terezi's relationship with Gamzee, but Dave believes Terezi should be free to make her own choices. They continue to discuss about how Dave ended up breaking up with Terezi and how Gamzee eventually became more distant and eventually ended his moirallegiance with Karkat. Karkat begins to wonder what will happen to them all when everything is over and if he and Dave will continue to be friends and how John and Jade will feel about him. Dave reassures Karkat about their friendship and claims that John and Jade would likely want to be friends with him. Terezi begins to awaken.
 * HS 7838 Karkat wakes up Terezi with one of Gamzee's horns. In the cherub session, Caliborn asks Andrew Hussie to give him more information about the game. He has unlocked several new planets and acquired some new minions with numbered, color-coded hats. Hussie advises him to give his new leprechauns henchmen mobster names. On LOMAX, the battleship lies next to the ruins of Jake's house.
 * HS 7841 Jaspersprite and Nannasprite begin exploring around the battleship as Davesprite attempts to wake up John. Davesprite decides to let John sleep while wondering to himself where Jade went, suspecting her of getting away from him, Davesprite continues talking about how no one deserves to have to deal with himself and continuing his belief he isn't as good as the "real" Dave. He continues to wonder about John's ring but decides he should have asked earlier and decides to leave John a note before flying off to be alone.
 * HS 7846 In the cherub session, Caliborn has unlocked more leprechauns gnomes minions and complains to Hussie about how useless their powers are. Hussie tells him that he has to use their various powers together to make them more useful. Meanwhile, John is still asleep.
 * HS 7848 Out in the Furthest Ring, the cracks created by have begun to encircle the Green Sun.
 * HS 7849 John is seen looking at the destruction from within a dream bubble. Aranea, Meenah, Tavros, Vriska, Aradia, and Sollux are nearby on a pirate ship bearing Mindfang's symbol, and they call John over.
 * HS 7853 Vriska greets John and informs him of the progress of her treasure hunt. has taken their bait and pursued them across the Ring, but they have learned that the treasure was very close to their starting location and have traveled in a circle to get there. John greets the rest of Vriska's crew and is introduced to Aradia and Sollux, who have been recruited by Vriska because their powers will be useful once she has the treasure. Sollux explains his unique status and bemoans the fact that his corpse is sharing a sprite with Eridan. He and Vriska get into an argument over whether doomed timeline ghosts should be treated as real people or mere copies of their alpha timeline equivalents.
 * HS 7856 Vriska reveals that several thousand ghosts are in ships slightly ahead of theirs, drawing 's fire in order to fill out the maps. She is accomplishing this feat by mind controlling some of them, with Aranea's help, while the rest are simply drawn to the controlled group. Aranea and Vriska have bonded really well, and Meenah expresses lamentations because while she does like Feferi, her royal blood creates murderous urges directed at anyone sharing her blood color. Under his breath, John says that "".
 * HS 7858 Tavros overhears the comment and tries to call John out. Aranea remarks that all species would invariably seem alien to each other (while implying that there are more species throughout paradox space apart from humans, trolls, and cherubs). This reminds her that she was in the middle of telling a story about the cherubs, and she decides to start over while the others display varying degrees of vexation.
 * HS 7861 Aranea begins telling the story of the cherubs, focusing on one in particular: an adult female with a benevolent personality. The female cherub has predominated over her brother and now searches for an adult male to mate with. She follows the "scent" of a notably violent male who leaves a trail of death and destruction in his wake and eventually locates him near a black hole, where they will begin the violent duel that serves as their mating ritual. The winner will claim the other's territory as their own, while the loser must retreat and give birth to the new child. (The canon fan trolls make their cameo appearance in this update, appearing on one page and then immediately dying on the next.)
 * HS 7869 The cherubs meet, turn into giant serpents, and begin their duel. After several sweeps of combat, the female cherub proves victorious and fertilizes the male. He leaves to locate a dead planet suitable for depositing his egg and finds far future Earth, where he leaves the egg and then vanishes back into paradox space (possibly to lay more eggs on other dead planets). From this egg, Calliope and Caliborn will be born. Gamzee finds the egg and Aranea changes the story's focus to its villain, Caliborn.
 * HS 7877 As Feferi and Nepeta's ghosts return to the afterlife and begin donning pirate costumes, Meenah attempts to leave to use the bathroom, so Aranea decides to wait until she returns so everyone can hear the tale in its entirety. John briefly comments on the strangeness of ghosts having to pee and asks Aranea to continue the story. She decides to instead have a brief intermission to allow her listeners to process the new revelations. Meenah complains because this means that Aranea will just tell another story-within-a-story, but allows it once Aranea calls the intermission an "interfishin".
 * HS 7881 While Meenah uses the bathroom, the other trolls produce musical instruments and begin playing "". Meenah returns and informs them that Sollux has fallen down the stairs, then goes below deck again when she notices what the others are doing.
 * HS 7882 Aranea continues the story, noting how cherub hatching and raising works. She notes that the difficult task of raising this creature was undertaken by multiple acolytes as we see visuals of Gamzee doing so alongside the text. He uses an extra codpiece as a cherub diaper.
 * HS 7890 The cherubs are left chained inside their room, and their story jumps ahead to Caliborn's entry and his meeting with Yaldabaoth. Caliborn is offered The Choice : he can either take the martyr's path by dying, with the promise that his sacrifice will let him later contribute to the end of a great evil, or he can take the conqueror's path and attempt to take over and destroy multiple planets. Once this is done, he will unlock his true land and have one final challenge - face Yaldabaoth in combat and win. If Caliborn succeeds, he will be given unconditional immortality and unlimited power to destroy anything he wants.
 * HS 7898 After Caliborn chooses to take the path of the conqueror, Skaia turns into a solid sphere and explodes, scattering fifteen new planets across the Medium. The leftover Skaian matter turns into a black hole that sucks up three of the planets (specifically the seventh, eleventh and fourteenth planets), leaving only twelve for Caliborn to conquer. He begins his quest: on each planet, he must crush all resistance and defeat the powerful underling that rules the world, then retrieve a bomb inside the planet's core and use the force from the bomb's detonation to push the subjugated world into the black hole. He has to skip the eighth planet initially, returning to destroy it after he has sunk the others. After sinking his eighth planet, his original dead planet becomes his true land, where he and his minions must prepare to face Yaldabaoth.
 * HS 7906 Aranea begins to talk about the leprechauns, the species that are members of. John is confused by the sudden addition of leprechauns to the story, but Aranea is fascinated by the species and launches into a lengthy discussion of the leprechaun romance system, which uses nine "charms" instead of four quadrants. The lecture is fortunately cut off by Vriska before Aranea can begin talking about how leprechauns reproduce.
 * HS 7908 Vriska tells Aranea how much she has helped her get in touch with her inner storyteller, and proceeds to hug her. However, Vriska and Meenah silently make a series of disparaging gestures and high-five behind Aranea's back. Aranea scowls at the insincerity.
 * HS 7915 On the meteor, a surprised Karkat notices that Terezi is no longer blind.
 * HS 7917 Terezi reveals to Karkat that Aranea healed her eyes nearly one year earlier, but she immediately regretted the decision and has been hiding it from the others. She even considered re-blinding herself, but decided not to because it wouldn't be the same. Karkat says that he knows about Terezi and Gamzee's kismesissitude and she expresses a desire to end the relationship, as it has given her nothing but severe self-loathing and an addiction to Faygo. Specifically, she wants to end it herself, as she would feel pathetic if Gamzee ditched her. She and Dave then criticize Karkat for sitting backwards in a chair throughout the entire conversation, causing him to throw a tantrum.
 * HS 7919 Dave and Karkat continue arguing over the chair, with Dave accusing Karkat of being a communist for stealing public furniture for his own use. Karkat returns the topic of conversation to Terezi's issues, noting how many of her problems seem to be rooted in a lack of self-esteem. She says that she won't be very useful during the battle against Jack, and when Karkat brings up her Mind powers she dismisses them as merely giving her the illusion of controlling fate. She brings up Vriska's death and how she still feels guilty about killing her, even if doing so really was demanded by paradox space. The speaker crab suddenly latches onto her toe and Dave denies having any control over it.
 * HS 7922 Caliborn has conquered the 6th planet, gaining and . On the eighth planet (which is confirmed not to provide a minion), Caliborn speaks at length with  and decides he is highly intelligent and to give him important duties later on. Meanwhile,  tries to get in a star-heart-horseshoe relationship with Caliborn while Lil Seb tries to get into a heart-clover relationship with.

Trivia

 * Each of Caliborn's appearances in this intermission are treated as their own intermissions within the intermission; his first appearance is HS 7839 (Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 1), his second is HS 7846 (Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 2), and his third is HS 7922 (Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 3). As they have only lasted for one page each, they are probably intended to be as meaningless and absurd as the "Act Act Acts" from Act 6 Act 5, especially since they lack the end/beginning of act/intermission curtains.
 * After Jade appeared without John in A6A5, there was a joke among the fandom that John would turn up after everything had happened with Starbucks wondering what happened, a parody of the meme "showing up 15 minutes late with Starbucks". When John first appeared in the intermission a cup of Starbucks was located on the table next to him, and it was in fact the 16th page of the intermission, thus making him "15 pages late".
 * Until Vriska interrupts her, Aranea's segments of cherub exposition consist of eight pages per update.