Homestuck Kids

The Homestuck Kids are about the similarities and differences between the main characters in Homestuck. This page is similar to Problem Sleuth's Escaping the Office.

Note
The differences and similarities shown here are not dead on accounts of what is to be expected. Andrew has stated that he doesn't follow completely with this concept because he wishes to move the story along, so while the intention is there and the similarities are put there on purpose, it doesn't necessitate that every character mimics the other in the same fashion nor do the the items described below follow in the same order. However, the similarities that are used are present enough to be able to warrant this page existing.

gardenGnostic has not been formally introduced. However, she has taken part of enough of this concept that she can easily be included in this page with the current evidence provided.

Introductions and Habits
Each kid in Homestuck is introduced in a similar, albeit unique manner based on several factors. Along with this they each follow a type of progression as they inch nearer toward what could ultimately be called the actual game - When the meteor from Sburb is summoned toward their abode and presumably either destroys them or sends them to the Shadowy-Oil like world.


 * Each kid is introduced by the player giving them a name.
 * John Egbert was never given a name before, and on his thirteenth birthday initially called Zoosmell Pooplord, but the game rejects it.
 * Rose Lalonde was to be named Flighty Broad, but she doesn't like the sound of it.
 * Dave Strider was about to be given the name of Insufferable Prick, but he slices the naming box in half with a Ninja Sword before it finishes. He just doesn't have time for that kind of bullshit.
 * Interests play a large part of the individuality of the kid.
 * John's biggest interest is in pranks. He also likes computer games, programming, bad movies, and webcomics. He plays the piano.
 * Rose is largely interested in Lovecraftian horrors, or the zoologically dubious. Her other hobbies include knitting, writing in her diary and dabbles in Psychoanalysis. She plays the violin.
 * Dave is based on just being cool. He loves to do things that are ironic in nature, such as maintain a host of ironic websites and comic strips, he also has a dark room and keeps things that are dead preserved in odd ways. He also likes to put out ill beats using his mixing equipment.
 * The kids are all given a color to denote their character. This color is shown predominately in their chats through Pesterchum. The color that their house is bathed in does not nessarily reflect this trait.
 * John's main color is blue. He sends a blue package to Dave containing some Sunglasses.
 * Rose's main color is velvet. She has a velvet package ready for John, but she never sent it.
 * Dave's main color is red. He sent a red package to John that contained a very special bunny.
 * It's simple to speculate that gardenGnostic's color is green. Her Pesterchum color would indicate this, and she sent a green package to John, but it fell into the endless void with Dad's car.
 * Each kid suffers a trial with their Sylladex.
 * John suffers the most with his Sylladex, not even understanding how it works and launches things constantly out his window. He also combines several objects together that clearly should not be combined together and has to Captchalouge obscene amounts of useless items to get to items he needs.
 * Rose's Sylladex is a constant hassle. While notably out of the three so far, it seems it is the easiest to work with being the least restrictive by allowing one to retrieve and Captchalogue items at will. The downside is that choosing an item may cause the others to break and crash to the floor.
 * Dave's Sylladex is the most powerful, albeit unwieldy. He is able to Captchalogue whatever he likes provided it doesn't cause a collision in his Sylladex in his Hash Function. He is easily able to retrieve items at will provided he use the same Hash Function as a verb. The trouble stems that the Hash Function recognizes any verb that comes from him and will react accordingly.
 * The kids all have an authority figure that shares a similar, yet different taste than the kid. The kid also has an opinion on their authority figure that causes them to believe something about them that may not be true. This typically causes Strife between the two.
 * John's guardian is his Dad. Dad enjoys Harlequins and loves to pull pranks. John believes his Dad's doting on him is insincere, and that the constant amount of Cake he is baking is made to spite him.
 * Rose's guardian is her Mother. Mother prefers conventional wizards, and goes to great lengths to decorate her house with the most extravagant finger-wigglers known to man. Rose believes that her Mother is just using Cruel Irony to irritate her, but it's more likely possible that Mother has genuine empathy toward her daughter than Rose believes.
 * Dave's guardian is possibly his Bro. Dave is not irritated toward his Bro's preference toward Puppets nor does he believe his Bro is doing something to annoy him. This does not stop Dave from trying to be cooler than him, despite his admiration toward his Bro.
 * Odd commands are given to the kids that involve making an animalistic noise and then doing some bodily function on furniture.
 * John is given the command to squawk like a bird and then shit on his desk. He's given a similar command later toward his mailbox.
 * Rose is told to writhe like a flagellum and then puke on her bed.
 * Dave is pushed to bleat like a goat and then piss on his turntables. Unlike the other two who outright deny the entire notion, Dave considers bleating like a goat later for ironic purposes.
 * The kids each run unique computers with different operating systems and programs.
 * John's computer operates like a Microsoft XP. His web browser is Typheus.
 * Rose's computer runs like a Macintosh. Her web browser is... I forgot. Someone fill that in.
 * Dave's computer runs like a Vista. His web browser is Hephasteus. With Vista his computer can run Pesterchum 7.0., a slightly upgraded version of 6.0 that the other two run.