The Felt

Green-hued criminal nemeses of the Midnight Crew, The Felt have differently colored numbered hats, to match their billiards theme. Each Felt is green in appearance and has a hat with the color and number of one of the 15 pool balls. 7 and below are solid colors, 9 and up are striped, and 8 is solid black. Their leader is the mysterious Lord English, who does not appear to have a number. Maybe all, but at least some of them seem to have time-altering abilities - or at least believe that they do. Spades Slick has made it his personal mission to murder them all, on top of the Midnight Crew's primary mission of plundering Lord English's secret vault. Their headquarters is an entirely green mansion. They have an obsession with clocks and timepieces, possessing one thousand clocks, all of which Spades Slick has vowed to destroy. He has burned 12, 8 were destroyed in an offscreen gunfight, he mercilessly broke one, and transpierced the one on the Crosbytop Computer. Diamonds Droog has shot 7, and 78 were exploded by Clubs Deuce; the remaining 893 were destroyed, along with the rest of the mansion, when Slick opened the vault. There is a poster of them (The Felt) in Dave's room.

At the end of the Midnight Crew intermission, all of the Felt but Snowman and Lord English are dead, at least in the timeline Spades Slick finds himself in. Lord English has not yet been encountered.

? - Lord English
The as of yet unseen leader of the Felt and apparently a demon from another universe. His appearance/clothing is possibly based on a billiards cue. He apparently cannot be destroyed by ordinary means, but only through time-manipulation techniques. Named after the pool term 'english', meaning spin on the cue ball, and retroactively also named after Lord British from Ultima, who could only be killed by glitches. Owns a CAIRO OVERCOAT that represents the spacetime continuum and gets damaged when time-related things get out of hand, and a BACKUP COAT, that may or may not possess the same qualities. Judging from it, he is a very tall, thin man. This, combined with the fact that the cue ball has now been accounted for, suggests that Lord English may further extend the billiards parallel as the cue stick, using Doc Scratch in order to affect other individuals on his field of play.

Doc_Scratch_bca.png
Doc Scratch has been seen in text form in chat with Vriska Serket, using white text and no alias. He is near omnipotent and near omniscient. His name is based on the term for pocketing the cue ball.

He is Alternia's First Guardian, an entity meant to protect the planet on which they are born, as well as facilitate the planet's 'ultimate purpose'. It is suggested that he is a skilled manipulator, whether through overt (mind control) means or simple psychological exploitation.

1 - Itchy
Named for "ichi," the Japanese word for one, and as an allusion to the cue sport term scratch. It is also an indicator of his demeanour; he appears tense and high-strung, and is loaded with caffeine. He can slow down time relative to himself, allowing him to act with blinding speed. However, his reaction time seems lacking -- Spades Slick was able to trip him up by simply sticking out one leg and waiting for him to stumble over it. Deceased after Spades had his way with him.

2 - Doze
Sounds similar to "dos", the Spanish word for two. Spades Slick has captured and interrogated him many times, but has extracted no useful information. He has the ability to slow down time, but only for himself, which may also be related to his name (doze as in sleep). As such he is completely unfazable, a trait that comes in handy whenever he is captured, which is often. Captured, then killed when Clubs Deuce put an explosive in his hat. The same explosion took out Trace.

3 - Trace
Named for "tres", the Spanish word for three, as well as his ability to retrace people's Past Trails. Skilled at infiltration, as he has invaded the Midnight Crew's secret hideout multiple times. He can also interact with people's Past Trails, although if they are aware of his ability and that he is the culprit, they'll know for certain that he'll be at that very location in the future. He resembles a shark, and his ability is related to a shark's natural skill of following a source of blood in the water over a great distance. Killed by Clubs Deuce in an explosion along with Doze.

4 - Clover
Most likely named for the four-leaf variety of that plant and his Leprechaun-like personality and stature. He is extremely superstitious, getting very worked up when Spades Slick attempts to destroy the Felt vault with the Crowbar. His skills include amazing luck, as well as (apparently) the power of flight. His luck apparently makes him very difficult to actually harm (he states that a gun pointed at him would probably just jam), although this hasn't been visibly tested. Likely functions as an accountant/brains figure, but is far from tight-lipped. He will gladly provide advice to anyone, even the rival Midnight Crew —if, that is, the person asking is able to solve one of his mindbending time-based riddles. Despite his stated immunity to grievous harm, he can still be enticed to help with less lethal instruments, such as a rolled-up newspaper — this renders his riddling somewhat moot. Deceased (in most recent timeline). He wasn't that lucky after all...

5 - Fin
Named after a slang term for US five-dollar bills, although the name also recalls his strangely shaped head. It is also possible that he is named for the French "fin", meaning "end". He also has notoriously sharp teeth. Scoops crimes planned by the Midnight Crew, much to Spades' chagrin. He does this by following people's Future Trails, much like how Trace follows Past Trails. However, because Fin leaves evidence of his past whereabouts and actions, Diamonds Droog was able to interact with Fin from the future, suggesting that it might have been possible to do the same with Trace (albeit much harder to predict where to strike and when). By following someone's future trail to the end, Fin is able to know the location of that person's death, hence his name; he has never been seen putting this ability to good use, however. Has died of blood loss resulting from injuries inflicted by Diamonds Droog.

6 - Die
Named for the number of sides on a standard cubic die, and 'die' as in death. Holds a voodoo doll, and a number of pins, corresponding to both the Felt and the Midnight Crew. When a pin is inserted into the doll, the holder is warped to an alternate timeline defined by the death of whoever the pin corresponded to, although the nature and time of death vary greatly. Die uses this skill to settle grudges with other members, by warping to timelines where they are no longer alive. Since every Felt member so far has died of Midnight Crew-based complications, this usually causes him to appear close behind whenever a Felt is murdered. When Die attempted to get rid of Spades Slick via this method, he found himself in a barren alien landscape -- affording Slick's assertion that he "made this town" a more literal meaning. He pulled Slick's pin shortly after, reappearing in the current timeline, where Spades Slick helped him live up to his name.

7 - Crowbar
Named for the similar shape of a crowbar and a 7. He carries an actual crowbar with the power to destroy any temporal artifact it strikes, and completely negate that object's effect on the timeline in the process. Crowbar started out dead, but Spades met him in an alternate timeline when he started monkeying around with Die's voodoo doll. He appears to be something of a second-in-command to English, as Spades Slick described him as "running the show"; this may be because of natural leadership abilities, or because his crowbar allows him to actively control his cohorts should their time-travelling get out of hand. Spades Slick bludgeoned the alternate timeline Crowbar and stuffed him into his Warchest, bringing him 'back to life', in a sense, in the original timeline. Was missing in time, along with the original Sawbuck, when they accidentally shot one another, but Slick sorted things out when they reappeared. After his death, Spades used his crowbar to put an end to Eggs' and Biscuits' shenanigans.

8 - Snowman
Named for the slang for pocket 8's in poker. Could also be a reference to the similarity in shape between a snowman and the number '8', or possibly a pun ("she's Snowman" is almost a homophone of "she's no man"), or, but this is probably crazy, ALL OF THE ABOVE! Also consider that the letter 8 flipped on its side is the symbol for infinity. She is the only female Felt member. For Spades, killing her is "out of the question," as her death will result in the destruction of the universe. How anybody ever figured this fact out has not been explained. (The aftermath of Sollux's virus in Act 5 may indicate that it has something to do with ~ATH.) This may be related to her number, as the 8-ball must be pocketed last in Eight Ball Pool. If it is pocketed earlier, the player who pocketed it loses. Evidently, this enables her to get away with anything, as she is able to wound Spades without fear of retaliation. She is the only member of the Felt whose name is not printed entirely in green; the "O" is printed in black (which makes the "O" look like an 8 Ball itself). Indeed, Snowman is in fact the only member of the Felt whose skin is not green; her skin, if it's skin at all, is black, and her outfit - a trenchcoat - is black with a green outline. In fact, she rather resembles the members of the Midnight Crew, in both style of dress and physical characteristics. She seems to fade in and out of existence as she moves. Her weapon is her cigarette holder, the innocuous double of a black-and-white lance. She is the Black Queen from the Trolls' game session, having been exiled. Her bad blood with Slick likely stems from their past as the trolls' version of the Black Queen and Jack Noir.

9 - Stitch
Named for the scar on his face, as well as the phrase "a stitch in time saves nine" and the fact that he is a tailor. He has the ability to fix temporal entropy which manifests itself as rips and tears in the fabric of Lord English's CAIRO OVERCOAT(s). He carries two pins, which are similar to Die's pins, except that they are white with yellow stripes, which would make them correspond to him (Stitch). He has an assortment of effigies in his workshop, which correspond to the members of the felt (and after some cajoling, Spades and Diamonds as well.) These effigies display how the person they represent is wounded, and become scorched and black should that person die. They can be used to remotely heal whoever they correspond to by stitching up the cuts in the fabric, or to inflict harm via immolation or, feasibly, any other means. Duplicate effigies also appear to accommodate time duplicates -- Eggs and Biscuits have their effigies stored in a separate warehouse, to accommodate the many, many copies they create. Was imprisoned by Diamonds Droog, a Midnight Crew member who, appropriately enough, could be considered "dressed to the nines". Diamonds forced him to build effigies for the Midnight Crew and sew up Spade's injured eye. He attempted to burn the effigy while they were distracted but was killed by Spades. Oddly enough, an alternate-timeline Stitch was killed by Spades Slick and stored in the Wrathtub of an alternate Hearts Boxcars. Deceased (in most recent timeline).

10 - Sawbuck
Named after a slang term for US ten-dollar bills, which, like Fin, probably comes from the shape of his head. His power makes it so that whenever he is wounded (or when he wounds someone else), he and his attacker (or target) are sent to a random point in the current timeline. Apparently very hard to injure, as Spades says that he can only ever seem to inflict fleshwounds [sic]. This may be related to his temporal ability, although if it is, there's no implication as of yet how it makes him so resilient; it may just be because he's so damn corpulent, or maybe bullets don't travel back with him, though this doesn't explain his resiliance to blades and the like. Spades Slick carried an alternate Sawbuck back from another timeline while mucking around with Die's voodoo doll, before killing both the original Sawbuck and his duplicate (along with an alternate Crowbar) with one swing of his RAPIER WIT.

11 - Matchsticks
Most likely named for the shape of the number 11. Deceased. Not encountered yet. It is likely that Matchsticks could use a form of Pyrokinesis, explaining the fire in the room that Spades Slick begins the intermission in (as well as affording his name a double meaning.) What this has to do with time remains a mystery. Or keeping in line with the theme of time manipulating abilities, Matchstick may have the ability to pause time, since a pair of ones or matchsticks physically bears likeness to the pause symbol one can find on a remote or such.

12 - Eggs
Named for the most notable product served in a dozen, and his eggtimer. A dangerous moron. Can use his eggtimer to travel back in time, likely in much the same way that Biscuits believes he can use his oven to travel forward in time (specifically, setting it to a certain amount of time - up to one hour, as its numbers show - and travelling back that amount of time when it rings, plus a small amount of additional time, since he appears from the future before he sets his timer). Eggs can thus become a one-man fighting force, with each incarnation a little more damaged than the last. According to this forum post from Andrew, Eggs may branch off into a new timeline each time he goes back, as opposed to staying within the same timeline. Eggs potentially has no limit to how many time clones of himself he can have -- this is vexing to friend and foe alike, as this senseless warping creates quite an unstable time loop, leaving his comrades (specifically, Stitch) to deal with the collateral damage. With his egg timer destroyed by Spades Slick's judicious application of a crowbar, Eggs was left without any time-clone back-up and, subsequently had his head bitten off his shoulders by Hearts Boxcars. Now (obviously) deceased.

13 - Biscuits
Named for a baker's dozen, and his oven. Another dangerous moron. Believes that his oven allows him to travel forward in time (like Eggs' eggtimer allows him to travel back) if he sets the timer and climbs inside. Believes that when the timer rings and he exits the oven, he will appear in the future the same amount of time later as the timer was set to. Of course, this means he just sits in there waiting for the timer to ring. Tends to team up with Eggs, who takes Biscuits back in time with him by holding the oven, with Biscuits in it, when he does so. According to Hearts Boxcars, unless he does this, he is little trouble. Until recently, he and his companion Eggs, backed by numerous time clones of themselves, were pestering Hearts Boxcars. Following the elimination of these time clones and the death of Eggs, Biscuits fled to the "safety" of his oven. He was killed in the future after Clubs Deuce put a time bomb into his oven, and is considered deceased (although technically he will still be alive and hiding uselessly in his oven for some time, until the present catches up to when the bomb goes off).

14 - Quarters
Sounds similar to "quatorze", the French word for fourteen. Could also refer to writing a quarter as 1/4. Apparently constituted a portion of the Felt's "muscle," but was already deceased by the time the intermission began. Not encountered yet, and presumably never will be.

15 - Cans
Sounds similar to "quinze," the French word for fifteen. An enormous man whom Spades regards as a challenge to kill -- he doubts they brought enough ammo. Was the last surviving member of The Felt to be revealed in the central timeline, when he made his entrance in a display of prodigious strength. OH, YEAAHH! He has the ability to literally punch (or, rather, "clock") his enemies into next week; when he hits Diamonds Droog, Droog is sent a week into the future, where he is in the middle of grocery shopping. He also manages to clock Hearts Boxcars into a completely different calendar [year]. Deceased (in most recent timeline),

Speculation
Snowman, Spades Slick, and the rest of the midnight crew are actually exiles from the Troll's session of the game, and having no relation to the game Session of the four human kids. How, why, when and from were the Felt appeared remains unknown.

The mention of Lord English requiring some metaphysical glitches to properly kill may be implying that English is similar to Ultima's Lord British, who is (for most intents and purposes) completely immortal, but can still be killed through rather elaborate means. When this was brought up on the forums, Andrew responded that he was initially unaware of Lord British when creating the character, but decided that it fit quite nicely and stated that British is, retroactively, an influence.

Interestingly, the object carried by the Hegemonic Brute in Act 3 looks like the inside of Lord English's vault door as seen in the Intermission, though sans green coloring.

Sollux Captor recently admitted to possession of a curious code which cycled through pictures of pool balls, strangely specific considering the nomenclature of the Felt. The ~ATH code was copied from an obscure server far beyond the planet's global network and is completely unhackable. The code is said to summon an indestructible demon, who can travel freely through time, once the universe has been destroyed. Seeing as it can travel through time, it is actually already here, the virus being essentially a formality. It hasn't been announced, but it seems entirely plausible that the 'indestructible time-travelling demon' is none other than Lord English. However, if Lord English is, in fact, the Demon, then it would mean that he is not the anonymous person with white text who trolls arachnidsGrip, as White Text explicitly refers to his/her being employed to a master whose entry into the universe he/she is attempting to bring about. But if the White Text is the thirteenth sign of the Zodiac, Ophiuchus, then it is possible that Lord English might still be the Demon who travels through time. This could be a reference to the role of the cue ball, which can be placed freely on the pool table when the opponent has committed a foul, without any of the restrictions usually applying to the placement of the cue ball.

The demon had assembled "followers from various epochs", and it is possible that these followers make up The Felt. It could also be speculated that the Felt might be the trolls denizens. There are 12 (alive) when introduced (counting the resurrected Crowbar, but not Snowman and Lord English). Lord English and Snowman would then be the respective black king and queen. However, since Act 5 takes place before the Midnight Crew intermission, and presumably before the deaths of Matchsticks and Quarters, this seems unlikely.