Homestuck: Act 3

The third act of Homestuck is entitled HS 2999 (Insane Corkscrew Haymakers). It mainly follows Jade Harley, Dave's battle against Bro to obtain his Sburb discs and save Rose, and the Exiles' confrontation at the Frog Temple.

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 * HS 2659We see a letter that Nanna wrote to John in the old copy of Colonel Sassacre's.
 * HS 2660Jade Harley is formally introduced and named. She enters the story right around when John is getting ready to go get his mail.
 * HS 2686Jade goes to her bedroom.
 * HS 2722As Jade plays her Eclectic Bass in her bedroom, a present from John arrives outside her house via airmail.
 * HS 2727Jade gets some supplies and prepares to feed Bec right around when John has just retrieved the Sburb beta.
 * HS 2736Meanwhile, in the present, Dave begins Round 1 of Strife with his Bro to retrieve the Sburb server beta.
 * HS 2743John begins battle with the Crude Ogres.
 * HS 2744In the future, the Peregrine Mendicant is confronted by a pesky Sentry Worm eating one of her mailboxes.
 * HS 2746Rose explores the SkaiaNet Laboratory and prepares to reconnect her laptop, but an ominous timer is ticking.
 * HS 2756Jade descends to the bottom floor and is pestered by a troll named carcinoGeneticist.
 * HS 2770The Mendicant, having slain the Sentry Worm, enters the Helipod Base. The timer there runs out, and the capsule flies away like a helicopter.
 * HS 2771In Round 2 of Dave and Bro's Strife, Bro forgoes Lil Cal for direct combat and knocks Dave down a flight of Stairs.
 * HS 2773Rose discovers Skaianet's main session terminal, where all the Sburb sessions and meteor impacts are kept track of. It appears a meteor will collide with the laboratory, and another one will hit Rose's House afterwards. Dave's and Jade's houses will also be hit, with Jade's meteor being the largest of all.
 * HS 2777Rose turns on her laptop. She and the Nannasprite help John defeat the Crude Ogres.
 * HS 2781John's Grist Cache is expanded vastly. He rockets up the Echeladder to Boy-Skylark, gaining 11,575 Boondollars. Nannasprite gives him some cryptic words of encouragement.
 * HS 2786In the Dark Kingdom, John's Dad fights off Shale Imps. A mysterious figure watches this and John's victory through two monitors.
 * HS 2792The Peregrine Mendicant is controlled briefly. She sees Jade and tries to contact her, but something malfunctions and an explosion blows a hole in the base.
 * HS 2804Rose finds what looks like a little girl's room in the lab and meets a mutant kitten, which she later names Vodka Mutini, or Mutie for short.
 * HS 2808John enters his Dad's room for the first time.
 * HS 2815Jade has an intense confrontation with her stuffed Grandpa and leaves the house.
 * HS 2821The Mendicant survives the blast. One of the worms retrieves a mailbox for her.
 * HS 2826Rose finds an Appearifier in the lab and sees herself and Jaspers many years ago. It seems Jaspers was appearified away and later turned up dead.
 * HS 2839Rose reappearifies Jaspers and escapes from the lab before the timer hits 0.
 * HS 2842Jade begins the search for Bec and goes to retrieve John's present for her.
 * HS 2846John, in Dad's room, realizes his father had an ordinary job unrelated to his collection of Harlequins.
 * HS 2850Dad, who was apparently captured again, breaks out of his jail cell. The dark figure watching him is revealed to be Archagent Jack Noir.
 * HS 2863John opens his birthday presents and gets a Modus Control Deck with 12 captchalogue cards and a free Array Modus. He combines his modi to make an array of queuestacks.
 * HS 2873He dons a suit his Dad got him for his birthday, then realizes that Fruit Gushers are a Betty Crocker product.
 * HS 2880Jade and Bec have a playfight. Jade feeds Bec and retrieves John's present.
 * HS 2881Jade, tuckered out, falls asleep. Bec carries her back to her room and into bed for the time being.
 * HS 2884Rose and the mutant kitten are transportalized to Rose's mother's room. The Meteor impacts the lab, creating a huge inferno.
 * HS 2890Jade begins to dream, which activates her Dreambot.
 * HS 2900It is revealed that John's chumhandle was once ghostyTrickster, which he changed to avoid Trolls.
 * HS 2900Jade's birthday is December 1, Dave's is December 3, and Rose's is December 4. John sent presents to them for their thirteenth birthdays - the Sunglasses to Dave and knitting supplies to Rose. His present to Jade is unknown.
 * HS 2903John's movie posters are revealed to have been defaced at least 6 months ago, though this fact was repressed by his subconscious. However, the graffiti resurfaces when Rose points it out to him. See John Egbert.
 * HS 2905The Wayward Vagabond lands where Jade's House used to be and is stuck on top of the Underground Base, which is no longer underground. He tries to appearify another rope but instead ends up with John's present to Jade, along with a note from Jade to "Mr. Mayor", indicating that Jade knew this would occur.
 * HS 2915The Vagabond correctly appearifies the rope and descends to the bottom of the base as the Peregrine Mendicant's Helipod Base approaches the Frog Temple. The Aimless Renegade spies on them.
 * HS 2922Rose continues to build up to the first gate, but the chimneys she uses as support beams are proving too unstable. Meanwhile, more Imps and Ogres climb up the cliff face.
 * HS 2926Jade dreams up some extra arms to play the Advanced Eclectic Bass. We see that her dream world is Prospit, a planet and moon system orbiting Skaia.
 * HS 2932Jade meets a citizen of Prospit who looks very much like the Peregrine Mendicant.
 * HS 2939While under heavy gunfire, the Vagabond gives the Mendicant John's present, which is supposedly crucial to the freedom of their people. The Peregrine Mendicant is revealed to be female.
 * HS 2952John Alchemizes a shitload of items. Some of his combinations include: the Hammerhead Pogo Ride, the Wise Guy Slime Suit, the Serious Business Goggles, the Telescopic Sassacrusher, Hellacious Blue Phlegm Aneurysm Gushers, the Remote Ghost Gauntlets, the Barber's Best Friend, the Betty Crocker Barbasol Bomb, the Cosbytop Computer, Problem Sleuth's hat (+ Candy Corn), and the Wrinklefucker. Interestingly, when John tries to combine the hammer and his Problem Sleuth game, the Alchemy Excursus indicates it is a very expensive item to make, leaving it a mystery for now. ((Warhammer of Zillyhoo?))
 * HS 2970Dave and Bro duel for the last time over Bro's beta copies on a crow-filled rooftop. Lil' Cal and Dave's record logo are slashed into pieces, and Dave's ninja sword is broken, changing his Strife Specibus to ½bladekind, but Bro gives Dave his copies anyway.
 * HS 2973The Skaian eclipse occurs, and cloud mirages showing visions of the past, present, and future appear. Jade's dream house appears to be transported to a vision of the past, where a meteor strikes near the volcano that will one day be next to Jade's House, bringing Bec with it. Jade attempts to investigate a glowing object, but Bec blocks her. In modern times this location corresponds to the Frog Temple. John very nearly wakes up in the dream world, and Jade approaches him, but their dreams both end before they meet.
 * HS 2977Jade fires her harpoon gun at a part of the Frog Temple and ziplines there.
 * HS 2981Rose takes a decidedly different approach to building which takes the house almost up to the first gate.
 * HS 2984Dave captchalogues Bro's betas, changing his hash to Scrabble values, and goes to install the server disc.
 * HS 2990In the past, Rose opens John's birthday present, the knitting bag. Also during this time, Rose is trolled unsuccessfully by GrimAuxiliatrix, who claims she and the other trolls are from the future. Rose apparently befriends her instead.
 * HS 2995We see a glimpse of the time when Dave, first wearing spiky shades like his brother, receives his present of the Sunglasses from John. AdiosToreador attempts to troll him but gives up and blocks him when Dave ironically hits on him.
 * HS 3000The Aimless Renegade becomes a playable character. He appears to be hostile to the other two Exiles.
 * HS 3026The Mendicant sends John's present to Jade back in time using the Sendificator. It is revealed to be a shirt similar to John's, along with some Pumpkin seeds. She receives it but is confused because she has not yet met John.
 * HS 3037Jack Noir and Dad have a scuffle, but Jack has a change of heart and releases Dad when he destroys Jack's hat.
 * HS 3045Using the Electric Guitar to summon giant lily pads, Jade reaches the Frog Temple.
 * HS 3048Dave installs the beta, with himself as the server and Rose as the client.
 * HS 3049Rose's game of Sburb begins.
 * A meteor smashes into Mom's room and sets it ablaze.
 * Dave moves Rose's bed into the fire to replace it with the Totem Lathe, much to Rose's chagrin. He puts the Cruxtruder in the observatory, also to her chagrin. Finally, he places the Alchemiter on the rooftop, though he builds a door and stairs there for Rose.
 * Dave uses the Zazzerpan statue to open the Cruxtruder and drops it outside the house, where the hand crumbles off and falls some distance away.
 * Rose gets the pre-punched card for a Cruxite Bottle and shapes her cruxite dowel into a totem. Dave places it on the Alchemiter.
 * Rose prototypes her Kernelsprite with Jaspers.
 * A shelf of wine bottles appears, with the Cruxite Bottle falling out. A large red tornado appears and whirls the Zazzerpan statue around.
 * Dave prototypes the Kernelsprite a second time with the Eldritch Princess doll.
 * Zazzerpan's hand knocks into the bottle, sending it flying into the river under Rose's house. Dave is harassed by crows, preventing him from saving the Cruxite Bottle. Rose dives down the waterfall and catches it. She is caught in midair by her Kernelsprite's tentacle.
 * Rose breaks open the bottle, warping her house away just before the meteor touches down.
 * HS 3049Jade finds the platform AR saw, which takes her down, much like an elevator, to a contraption with a countdown on it and a flower bud resting on top. This Sburb flower blooms, revealing a white glowing object for Jade - Dave's server and client copies of Sburb.
 * HS 3049Nannasprite writes her note to John (seen at the beginning of Act 3) and drops the copy of Colonel Sassacre's into the depths below.
 * HS 3049The Skyship Base is revealed to be the cork from a much larger 'bottle'.
 * HS 3049John climbs his house while fighting Imps and Ogres, launching the Cosbytop Computer into the abyss in the process. He springs into his first gate.
 * HS 3050We zoom out to see that John's house was on a high peak above his planet.
 * HS 3053The curtain closes on Act 3.