Ongoing gags



Throughout the adventures many ongoing gags will pop up from time to time. They include:


 * "Retrieve arms".Homestuck #4: Based on the fact that character arms are often not drawn when by the character's side. This command is often the first command given to a new character when they appear.


 * Weapons in Problem Sleuth may be exchanged with something else, also known as an innocuous double. The next frame typically gives an explanation of why it's ridiculous to think the character ever had such an object in the first place. This extends to the Midnight Crew as well, who keep all their items as decks of cards.


 * "Punch &lt;noun&gt; in snout to establish &lt;adjectival noun&gt;": Ace Dick from Problem Sleuth is prone to expressing himself through violence, and tends to exert his Emotions in this fashion. Oddly enough, it usually results in him gaining allies. Recently ported to the Midnight Crew Intermission.


 * "Ride &lt;noun&gt; like a mechanical bull": A command often given toward objects that clearly should not be ridden like a mechanical bull.


 * "Throw down hat in disgust": A command common among the male characters establishing their disgust in recent events. It doesn't matter whether they are good or bad, nor how much they try and resist, sooner or later the hat will fly! This gag was recently ported to Homestuck, as well as the Midnight Crew intermission.


 * "What Pumpkin?" The appearance of pumpkins, which originated from Jail Break. As pumpkins are rather elusive, it's often very difficult to actually tell if there has ever been one in the room.


 * Busts: Typically placed in Problem Sleuth, busts are seen obstructing pathways, as Busts-R-Us is a Legitimate Establishment and are constructed to look like several movie celebrities, most notably Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Snoop Dogg. A combination of busts has been created, the Bowen Stilson Dogg.


 * "Fondly regard...": Since Godhead Pickle Inspector refuses to do anything other than "Fondly Regard Creation", many commands are given that use a word that sounds very similar to "Creation". (For example, "Fondly regard crustacean" or "Fondly regard cremation".) In an extra, he actually obeyed a command to "Fondly regard donation", but, of course, that's non-canon.


 * The word shit is used often, giving extra adjectives to adequately describe how shitty the command is. Sometimes the Shit is good, as in "Shit Got Real"; or sometimes the Shit is bad, as in "This is just Complete Horseshit".


 * Trying to use Sepulchritude. Problem Sleuth has had to hold off on using Sepulchritude many times. It has now been used.


 * "I don't know why you haven't thought of that": Some actions occur on their own, and the action notifies the player that they most likely should have thought of this MONTHS ago, or that something is so simple that the player shouldn't question its obviousness.


 * Gay porn: Often times the author will slip in some gay porn. Most notable is Hunk Rump.


 * Idiotic thoughts: When characters are first introduced in Homestuck, they get insanely idiotic thoughts which normally consist of acting like an animal and desecrating their surroundings via some bodily function. They usually get these thoughts after trying to retrieve their arms.Though those thoughts often got cancelled, Jade already made it.


 * Dropping things: In Homestuck, picking up things or taking them out of the Sylladex can cause other items captchalogued in there to eject, often violently and to hilarious fashion.


 * Level Up for Slaying the Imp: In Homestuck, objects used by Rose to smash imps have been given their own ranking on the Echeladder. These objects include, John's Fridge, bathtub and the old copy of Colonel Sassacre's.


 * "You figure you've left him hanging long enough.": In Homestuck, both John and Dave have left various things "hanging". In John's case it is used figuratively to mean that he needs to high-five the Kernelsprite, in Dave's case it is meant literally referring to the hanging puppet in his way.


 * "Be the other guy": A command used to semi-force the story to focus on another character. It was first used in Jailbreak (though not perfectly) and later appeared in Homestuck to make the story shift from Dave's perspective to John's. Also used for other characters. Also used in the Midnight Crew intermission, where the command never gets the desired result.


 * "First, be the pony. Second, ...": A command from Jailbreak makes an appearance in Homestuck. It was eventually used successfully.


 * "Sweet Catch": It appears when one of the main characters catches something at very high speeds.


 * Misquoting: The narration will often include a quote, only to attribute it to the wrong person. This happens in the cases of Mark Twain (a Shakespeare quote), Charles Barkley (a T.S. Eliot quote), and John Keats (a Snoop Dogg quote).


 * Psyche: Before something cool is about to happen, AH suddenly shifts the story to focus on another character. The first time this happened was when Rose first left the observatory to confront her mother, which was interrupted with "OH PSYCHE" and switching to Dave's introduction. Worthy of note is Andrew's X2 DOUBLE PSYCHEOUT COMBO and, eventually, an attempt at a 5X CLIFFHANGER COMBO and the cause of an UNPSYCHE. On this page, there's a PRELOADER PSYCHEOUT luring the reader into thinking it's Dave's Strife page when in it is really Jade's.
 * Flip the Fuck Out: Occasionally a character in Problem Sleuth (or, on one occasion, in Homestuck) will Flip the Fuck Out. Weasels from Problem Sleuth mainly do this when they get agitated.


 * "&lt;Temporal noun&gt; in the &lt;Past/Future&gt;, but not many...": This expression is used a lot of times in Homestuck, to change the story's current time to go to the past or to the future, as the story occurs in both simultaneously.


 * "Lousy goddamn stupid &lt;noun&gt;.": So far, every kid save for Dave has voiced their disgust for something in this manner.


 * "That's really all there is to say on the matter": Dave and John will often summarize their situation quickly, then say this. That's really all there is to say on the matter.


 * Backup clothing: in the Midnight Crew interlude, the Midnight Crew have backup hats, and English has a backup CAIRO OVERCOAT


 * BLUH is commonly used as an all purpose reaction to...well, almost anything. Rose, John, Jade, and even Spades Slick have expressed their thoughts about someone or something using some sort of BLUH. Trolls are unfazed by our human bluhs.


 * "IS THIS YOU". Used by gC to attempt to troll Dave Strider by linking him pictures of various badasses males that bear a sort of resemblance to him. Once instance lead Dave(sprite) to complementing gC's trolling methods, although he could have been trolling her in turn. Thus far, it has been used several times in two differentconversations.


 * Haunting Refrains: In Homestuck, when musical instruments are present in a scene (string instruments in particular), a command to play a haunting refrain is often chosen, and accompanied by a simple flash video. This actually originated in Problem Sleuth, when Problem Sleuth was ordered, but refused, to play a haunting tuba refrain, because the tuba in question was encrusted with filth from years of neglect.


 * "Resist Urge to " : a reoccuring gag in which the character is close to an item that may be tempting to use or touch. This usually ends in the character failing to resist the urge. But |not always.


 * Huge Bitch : A gag that has so far appeared 3 times throughout Homestuck. The Midnight Crew Intermission was the first appearance of it, at this page. The next was in Act 4, in this big flash page. The most recent appearance is in Hivebent, when we got to Vriska's introduction. At the appearance of this gag, there would be a scribble of the targeted person. So far, only the Black Queen / Snowman and Vriska are considered a huge bitch.


 * Stunning revelation: Used in Hivebent to reveal something important to overall plot when it seemed otherwise. So far used for Aradia Megido's all-the-time death and (unsuccessfully) for the fact that the trolls have one session and not two.
 * "You cannot hope to beat  in a -off": You cannot hope to beat Egbert, Tavros or Aurthour in a prank-off, a8scond-off or butler-off, respectively. They are simply the best there is.