Homestuck: Act 4

The fourth act of Homestuck. It began here, after the Midnight Crew Intermission.
 * The fourth act begins with John exploring the Land of Wind and Shade. He meets the amphibious inhabitants and runs into more than a few Shale Imps, which now possess feline/tentacled/princess mutations presumably due to Rose Lalonde's Kernelsprite. He also gets used to a pipe-based item delivery system. A voice, perhaps the Peregrine Mendicant because of its apparent fascination with mail, starts speaking to him. Nanna, who can't accompany John outside of the house, apparently talks to him telepathically. John reaches a lookout point and, with his telescope, he discovers that the gate has brought him below the rocky spire of his house to the planet below, and that he is the Heir. There is also The Slumbering One who must be woken up. Finally, John heads deeper into the land.
 * It is also possible for the player to lose John's Barbasol Bomb by dropping it.
 * A Sentry Worm shoots the Frog Temple before being killed by the Aimless Renegade.
 * The Aimless Renegade surrenders after noticing Bec's face carved on the Wayward Vagabond's Pumpkin.
 * The Peregrine Mendicant gets the jump on the Aimless Renegade and pins him down.
 * Jade retrieves Dave's copy of Sburb from the flower bud in the Frog Temple.
 * Jade becomes bored of her current modus, and changes it to Pictionary after trying and rejecting Jenga.
 * Becquerel finds Jade in the Frog Temple, and warps her back to her bedroom, without any items except the betas, her Lunchtop, and several Ghost Images.
 * Jade installs Dave's beta, and pesters John and Dave. She tells John that he's going to be her host, and tells Dave that she is connecting him to the game and that a meteor is going to crash on his house. Rose is currently MIA - neither John nor Dave can get a hold of her over Pesterchum. Jade has yet to try.
 * CarcinoGeneticist contacts John and informs him (rather rudely) that they will be friends in the future.
 * The Future Nomads become friends over some of the Wayward Vagabond's preserves and TAB.
 * Dave's House enters the early evening hours, and meteors have started a large fire in the city. Jade begins her Sburb session with Dave. She places the Alchemiter on the air conditioning unit on the roof, replaces his bed with the Cruxtruder, and replaces the television with the Totem Lathe.
 * Rose gets back to Dave; apparently she was talking to John and a Troll. Her precise location within the Medium is still unknown.
 * Jade accidentally tears the toilet and part of the floor off of the bathroom, like Rose did with John.
 * Rose is revealed to be in the Land of Light and Rain after cryptically remarking that she likes the area. It is a shining, icy place with cotton-candy-styled light reflecting all around, and Rose's House is perched on a piece of white land.
 * Aimless Renegade fetched Jade's Cookalizer and Refrigerator and starts cooking something.
 * The Wayward Vagabond shows the Peregrine Medicant his computer and introduces her to John. She is reminded of a girl she knows, probably Jade. It is revealed that she is the one who talked to John during the Land of Wind and Shade sequence. Also taking an assumed route where John gives up a SHOE and a HAT in the pipe system but retrieves an Uncarved mini-tablet, a CHISEL and a CHUNK OF AMBER......wait a minute, is that SERENITY?
 * Rose does a little exploration of her house, now that it's in the medium. She also recieves messages from the fourth nomad, who refers to Rose as "Seer", possibly meaning Rose is the Seer of Light.
 * John continues wandering about the Land of Wind and Shade, coming across a small Village that's under attack by several Imps as well as a pair of Tar Basilisks and a Copper Giclops.
 * Jade falls asleep, sending the Toilet she was holding through the roof into Dave's room, activating his Cruxtruder. Jade's Dreambot takes over while she's asleep.
 * All the Apple Juice Dave drank finally catches up with him. He briefly considers peeing into an empty bottle and sending the resulting code to John as a prank. However, he decides against it and goes in the shower.
 * While Dave is in the shower, Jade's Dreambot notices the dead crow outside, and taking pity on it, resurrects it by prototyping it with Dave's kernelsprite much to Dave's displeasure. He gets Jade to wake herself up by having her swing her arm causing Jade's Dreambot to swat Jade awake.
 * Aimless Renegade makes a fire with gunpowder and empty ammo crates, and tries to win over Peregrine Medicant with the Tangle Buddies - which reminds her of something. Wayward Vagabond seems confused by this and Serenity seems to want to communicate urgently.
 * PM has a flashback to John's time, where in the Land of Wind and Shade, an Authority Regulator finds Dad's car crushed and impaled on Parcel Pyxis and writes it a ticket, but notices Jade's package and John's beta inside. A Parcel Mistress sees him and decides to get the package from him.
 * John wields the Wrinklefucker and Sassacrusher against the Basilisks, but the Giclops grabs the Sassacrusher and John finds himself in a Basilisk's mouth.
 * The silhouette of who appears to be Grandpa Harley shoots the Basilisks and takes out the Giclops' eye, dropping lots of Grist and rescuing John. He appears to be carrying John's copy of Colonel Sassacre's.
 * PM is reminded of what her mission is, and in the flashback the Parcel Mistress receives John's badly carved mini-tablet. Her objective is now to get both parcels from the Authority Regulator.
 * The Parcel Mistress uses the mini-tablet to retrieve the Sburb disc from the Authority Regulator. He refuses to give back the green parcel so the Parcel Mistress follows him.
 * John wants to follow the person who saved him, but decides to save the village which is on fire from the attack. He unsuccesfully tries to put the fire out using the Betty Crocker Barbasol bomb but this makes matters worse until a gust of wind puts the fire out. The town people rejoice, giving John the credit.
 * John is reminded about his uncarved minitablet by PM and begins carving the image of his Sburb Server CD on it. Meanwhile, Rose begins looking for her Sprite.
 * Rose wanders outside, oblivious to Dave's attempts to Pester her cause her laptop is buried in three inches of fucking yarn. She soon spots footprints in the white(chalky) sand.
 * Following the footprints, Rose heads back to the Mausoleum, or at least where it stood. The secret passage remained intact. She heads down and follows the passage to a dock. Seems as though there was a boat there, but Mother had got there first. Mother had untied the boat from the dock and left, leaving behind her martini.
 * WV expands Can Town to outside, renaming it Exile Town after incorporating PM's mailboxes and AR's Munitions and stuff. AR creates armed forces because 'a town without a proper militia is as good as conquered'. Their creation is fondly regarded until an Eggy-Looking Base lands where they are. This foreshadows the appearance of the fourth Nomad.
 * Using Dave's pre-punched card, the Alchemiter and a Cruxite Dowel, he creates a Cruxite Egg. However, his Crow Kernelsprite snatches the egg before Dave has a chance to break it open. The Kernelsprite places it in a makeshift nest made of puppet pieces and shitty swords on top of the radio tower on Dave's roof.
 * Dave figues out that with each player added to the Sburb player chain, the base Cache limit is multiplied by a factor of 10. Also, new crap is available in the Phernalia Registry. Jade deploys an unknown CD for Dave to use.
 * Jade moves the Alchemiter so the newly deployed Jumper Block Extension can be added. She also deploys the Punch Card Shunt for Dave.
 * Dave figures out that he needs some punched cards to use the Shunt, but doesn't have access to the Designix. He takes the CD down to his computer and loads up a program called gristTorrent, showing all the Grist John, Rose and Dave have. Rose is seen battling Chalk Imps in the background as Dave loads the program.
 * Dave starts downloading Build Grist and Shale from John on gristTorrent. However, he can only download at a rate of 4 total grist / second, so he downloads each at 2 grist / second.
 * GallowsCalibrator begins trolling Rose, telling her in a non-sensical way that they'll be friends in the future and other things about the Exiles and Agents.
 * The focus shifts back into the past, more specificlly Jade's 13th birthday. CarcinoGeneticist interrupts a Pesterchim conversation between John and Jade, but ends up leaving even more pissed off then when he started. John considers changing his Chumhandle when GallowsCalibrator chimes in as well, supposedly laughing at John then threatening to kill him when he joins the laughing.
 * The Parcel Mistress follows the Authority regulator back to the Dark Kingdom, and runs into two imps and an agent that looks like Diamonds Droog with cat ears and wearing Jaspers's suit.
 * The Parcel Mistress is sent by the Black Queen to one of the Dark kingdom's Archagents, specializing in tedious paperwork.
 * Rose's voice in her head leaves
 * Rose takes a sip of her mom's martini. She is unthrilled.
 * The fourth Exile, the Windswept Questant, appears in front of the Eggy-Looking Base.
 * Parcel Mistress sees the package on a table in Jack Noir's office, and tries to grab it and run, but is stopped by the sudden appearance of Jack Noir, who offers to give her the package in exchange for the assassination of...is that the king and queen?
 * Jack was only kidding about the assassinations, saying that he does that to everyone who enters his office. He's suprised that the Parcel Mistress actually goes through with it, saying she's a deadwomen. Curious about the green package, he opens it to se what's inside, something that shocks the crap out of him. 0_0