User:Rabbeseking/Sandbox

A large variety of books have appeared in Homestuck. This page is dedicated to them.

R.L Tome


This ancient tome was written by a legendary Seer of Light many ages ago. There are some mysterious holes in the account. It nevertheless remains an indispensable resource to Calliope. It would appear Gamzee used his own indigo colored blood to blot out particular pieces of information. Most of the redactions target any piece of information about, who was either directly or indirectly behind every terrible event in the story. Everything about him, including where he came from, information about his manipulative right hand man, his agenda, his abilities, and his name had all been voided out. Most of the other blot-outs seem to target one member of the post-scratch troll group, Gamzee. Calliope surmises he was easily the least important character in the entire story. How incredibly wrong she was.

Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text


Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery is a massive piece of literature by a famous humorist, filled with timeless jokes and pranks. It is one of John's favorite books and occasionally consults in order to enhance his Hilarious Antics. While its content is light-hearted, it has been known to be lethally heavy. The writing style is dated and verbose, due to this John gave up almost immediately when attempting to consult it to see how hilarious his harlequin doll was after he made some alterations. It also contained more than a few racial slurs in it's original form, which isn't exactly surprising seeing as it was written before 1910. Several copies of the Daunting Text were found at Nanna's joke shop, Prankster's Gambit, before its untimely meteor-related destruction. At the time of the destruction, Nanna was inside putting an unabridged copy on a high shelf. Jane also owns a slightly abridged and updated copy, and keeps it in her chest. The updated version has a few of the more egregious racial slurs removed.

Data Structures for Assholes
Data Structures for Assholes is one of John's many computer programming guides. It seems to focus on using a Sylladex and different Fetch Modi. It is insanely abusive, using every opportunity to demean and insult the reader, so much so that it really teaches very little. It even possesses "asshole notes" at the bottom of the pages; these are like Cliff notes but, instead of being informative, they are instead just another chance to say something horrible. In the back cover is a HS 2017 (free Fetch Modus), the orange Queue Modus. John HS 2291 (read the book) to learn how to weaponize his Sylladex in a chapter where the book declares that is so incredibly sick of the reader's incompetence that it just explains weaponization through shitty clip art instead. The book appears to be part of a series of similarly abuse-themed guides, as Rose HS 2342 (at one point considers) getting "Knitting for Assholes".

Grimoire for Summoning the Zoologically Dubious
The Grimoire for Summoning the Zoologically Dubious is a very dangerous tome in the possession of Rose Lalonde. It contains descriptions of terribly dangerous beasts as well as instructions on summoning them. Rose considers allocating it to her Strife Specibus but decides there are some forces too dangerous to tamper with. It is an ancient and forbidden book of black arts, but it also makes a nifty place to set your laptop! Its captchalogue code is later used in the creation of the Thorns of Oglogoth. The book has some connection to the Horrorterrors as it is said that Oglogoth is the first and smallest of the Smaller Gods, appointed in servitude of a vile, unfathomable pantheon of Middling Gods which caters to the whims of the Noble Circle of Horrorterrors, the omniscient, omnipotent order of the elite few, forever cloaked in the darkness of the Furthest Ring.

Troll and Human Etiquette


A kind of tome found in Exiles' bases, a few (but not many) years in the future from destruction of their respective planets. It (probably) contains rules on proper social interaction in players' societies, making the book's contents vary between sessions. As the Wayward Vagabond was consistently rude with his commands, this helped him form a more effective partnership with John, revealing the tome's purpose - allowing exiles to communicate with players in a proper way and actually succeeding in guiding them. A Troll version was seen in Clubs Deuce's exile base. He used it to help him converse with Sollux.

Dream Bubbles


Dream Bubbles is a book written by Charles Dutton. It HS 4887 (contained information) regarding the Forge and LOFAF, as shown by the excerpt Dave read from Rose's book when Jade entered The Medium. On the day of Jade's "birth", Dutton wrote that he saw visions HS 4887 (reminiscent of) her planet. Specifically, the process of it changing from its original lush conditions to its initial in-game state as being frosted over. He also mentions Jade herself.

Wizardly Herbert
Wizardy Herbert is the name of a wizard-based story written by Roxy Lalonde some years before she began playing Sburb. It was likely inspired by her Mom's bestselling Complacency of the Learned series, which Roxy is a fan of. The titular protagonist Wizardly Herbert, is a cynical and rather irresponsible person. He has been shown to solve his problems by shooting them with his Beretta, even when he had previously admitted this wasn't the best idea. Herbert's accomplice Beatrix is usually his voice of reason. It is implied that he and Beatrix spent some time 'outside' their story, and that their time away from the book's influence has made them both rather genre savvy. Herbert constantly struggles with his HS 7477 (own rule), which is to "". The supposed villain of the story is Slinus Marlevort, who is the leader of Serpenook. He is dismissed by Herbert as essentially "a soulless mannequin dreamt up to recite insipid horseshit". The work contains many meta elements.

Complacency of the Learned
Complacency of the Learned is a fiction book about wizards written by Roxy's Mom and a huge literary success. At least six volumes of Complacency of the Learned were released, all fairly long doorstoppers. A poster of what is presumably the cover hangs from the door of Roxy's room and features a caduceus on it. The story of Complacency of the Learned directly relates to and the Condesce and was written by Roxy's Mom as a passive aggressive taunt to the Batterwitch. The books' main story is focused on Calmasis' efforts to kill all members of the titular "Complacency of the Learned", a group of elderly wizards led by Zazzerpan. All twelve are eventually killed but Zazzerpan himself, forcing a climatic showdown.

~ATH - A Handbook for the Imminently Deceased
~ATH - A Handbook for the Imminently Deceased is a programming handbook centered around the programming language ~ATH (pronounced "till death"). It is an esoteric programming language primarily geared towards imminently deceased programmers. The language exists on both Earth and Alternia. ~ATH is an apparently insufferable language to work with. Its logic is composed of nothing but infinite loops, or at best, loops of effectively interminable construction. Calliope used it as a journal for her various fan fictions. used it as a scrapbook, and as a weapon.