Problem Sleuth: Volume 5

The final portion of Problem Sleuth's main story, consisting of five chapters, has not been collected in print form; some of these chapters will be collected as the yet-to-be-released Volume 5, but it is not yet known if they all will. In these chapters, Team Sleuth and their allies fight both Demonhead Mobster Kingpin and the original Mobster Kingpin, who acquires new powers that threaten the entire universe.

Click the "" to open the page from Problem Sleuth. Second-level bullets represent branching paths; branching paths in italics result in dead ends.

Chapter 18

 * DMK's Fill 'Em with Daylight attack tears the universe in half, resulting in the Cathedral of Syndetic Ascension and Clock Tower of Cartesian Alignment having their top floors bisected. The Chicago Overcoat's steering wheel is also cut in half, even though it was not in the attack radius, due to its connection to the clock tower.
 * The bees complete two more Impetus Combs and fill Hysterical Dame and Nervous Broad's suckle receptacles, letting them perform one Comb Rave each. In Madame Murel's dollhouse, MM hits HD through her Scale Bodice, sending her back to the imaginary streets. After making the long trek back, HD uses her Rolling Thunder Comb Rave and attacks MM with her chainsaw and stun gun. NB joins in with her Highly Flammable Case of the Vapors attack and uses her flamethrower and knife against MM. With her final move, NB lights the knife on fire and throws it into MM's face, killing her.
 * In the Game of Life, Ace Dick enjoys his riches, power, and the love of his family, unaware that some object to his success. Meanwhile, Godhead Pickle Inspector refuses to allow the destruction of his universe and uses the Ham Needle and fan cord to sew the universe back together. The cathedral, clock tower, and steering wheel are all returned to their undestroyed states.
 * Fiesta Ace Dick prepares to shoot Mobster Kingpin, but MK puts on MM's Gravity Brassier and uses it to increase his mass by a factor of 10. The bullets ricochet off his body and break open the already-used suckle receptacles.
 * The clock tower strikes midnight and Problem Sleuth watches as the clock's face appears on the steering wheel's viewport.
 * HD takes the Skeleton Brush and palette used by MM and opens the locks on the staircase door, allowing them to ascend. Upstairs, they find some imprisoned whores and the sunglasses from the Ben Stiller bust that trapped PS in his office. In the afterlife, Death greets MM and asks if she would like to play Hungry Hungry Hippos, but MM believes he is making a backhanded comment about her weight and slaps him.

Chapter 19

 * The four heroes turn a crank in the cathedral, converting its eye into a giant telescope. A small object extends through the middle of the steering wheel viewport. PS pulls the object out of the steering wheel and gets the Chronoscope of Axial Conjugation, resulting in the telescope being removed from the cathedral and the deactivation of the viewport.
 * FAD uses Belly of the Whale on MK, but MK counters with Extortion and swallows FAD. MK transforms into Fiesta Mobster Kingpin, growing too large to leave through the door, and FAD is sent to the afterlife.
 * In the Game of Life, AD and his family are attacked by two thugs; AD saves Sonhearst by taking a bullet, but Wifehearst is slain. The two decide to become vigilante superheroes and avenge Wifehearst's death. DMK is moved by the sad story and experiences an increase in Emotions.
 * PS throws the Chronoscope to Pickle Inspector, who attaches it to the sniper rifle. This causes the clock tower to change into a sniper cannon that will fire upon whatever PI targets with the rifle. When PI observes the universe and spots a bust of Snoop Dogg (which had been blocking the Chicago Overcoat deck trapdoor and was launched by FAD onto a small floating island), PS mistakenly thinks PI is going to fire at it and intervenes. Unfortunately, after PI clears up the misconception, his finger slips and he accidentally blows up the island. Luckily, the Candy Mecha legs arrive and catch the Snoop bust.
 * HD flips the power switch and sends electric current through the fan cord. However, because GPI used the fan cord to repair the universe, the current must now travel the entire length of the universe twice to reach the fan. The four heroes leave the cathedral and walk over to the Gutterpipe Projects. FMK reduces his volume so he can fit through the door, but his concentrated mass results in him falling through the dollhouse floor.
 * PI uses the sniper rifle to break the anchor cord, then fires upon DMK. Zombie Ace Dick stands in front of the rifle and takes most of its fire while the cannon attacks DMK. Frustrated by his constantly being fired upon, ZAD uses his Check Yo'Self Jonah combat operandi and summons a giant whale, then harpoons it and uses the harpoon gun as a grappling gun. He accidentally hits PI while leaving the ground, throwing PI's aim off and causing him to hit the whale. The dead whale crashes into the roof of a building and AD falls several floors through it, landing in a jail cell containing a familiar-looking prisoner. His Gambit Schema expires.
 * In the Game of Life, AD and Sonhearst become Punisher Ace Dick and Bathearst and start fighting crime in the ruins of AD's criminal empire. The collapse of a profitable white collar crime venture makes DMK even more emotional. When AD goes to spin the Wheel of Life, though, the destiny it selects for him and Bathearst is to travel west in a covered wagon.
 * The four heroes enter the brothel while the gentlemen engage FMK in fisticuffs. In response, FMK tightens the brassier again, and the increase in mass and decrease in volume turns him into Dark Matter Mobster Kingpin. HD, NB, and the whores fall through the dollhouse floor thanks to DMMK's gravitational pull.
 * In the Game of Life, AD is injured when his shitty imaginary gun explodes during a hunting trip. He and Bathearst decide to cross a nearby river by fording it, but Bathearst falls into the water and drowns, making DMK's Emotions rise to near-critical levels. PI continues to fire, the bees collect more Pang Nectar, and the residents of the afterlife watch Death try to hit a pinata.
 * With his son dead and his supplies gone, AD trudges through a swamp (passing some familiar characters) and crawls up to a tree stump, beneath which he finds a pistol. Having nothing left to live for, AD commits suicide. DMK's Emotions hit their maximum level. The Game of Life ends and AD is brought back to the Chicago Overcoat, where he punches Death in the snout to establish his infuriation. The dead characters realize that Death is distracted and sneak back into the land of the living. Another Impetus Comb is completed.

Chapter 20

 * PFPI begins his Comb Rave, and the Jocuse Honey of the seventh comb is so strong he only uses half of it. Using the power of Temporal Replicollision, he repositions the porthole windows into two closed circuits, then travels through one of them at nearly the speed of light. Future-Future Pickle Inspector arrives and uses the remaining Jocuse Honey to perform Temporal Replicollision on the other porthole circuit. The portholes are repositioned around DMK and the two PIs, now turned into large hadron part-pickles, collide into DMK's head, causing a massive explosion.
 * As the newly-alive afterlife escapees look on, DMK's second health bar is destroyed and the Vulnerabulb is exposed again. A Higgs Bonehead, a giant and short-lived being created by the particle acceleration, appears on DMK's hat. With PI out of sniper rifle ammo, the Bonehead performs a kamikaze attack on the Vulnerabulb, and PS plugs the Chronoscope back into the steering wheel to direct the Bonehead's descent. Death directs the escapees back into the afterlife. Unfortunately, the Bonehead dies and dissipates into nothing before he can hit DMK. PS orders PI to throw a barrel at the Vulnerabulb, but PI's Frankenstein slowness is still in effect.
 * The four heroes, HD, NB, and the whores attack DMMK. They accomplish nothing, though, because his strong gravitational pull renders all of their attacks useless.
 * With his Gambit Schema moments from expiring, PI is still nowhere close to reaching the barrel. At the speakeasy, all the patrons start to leave and head into the brothel, with a hatless man taking the Ink of Squid Pro Quo from the bar before he goes. All the patrons enter the dollhouse and get pulled into DMMK's gravitational pull.
 * The gentlemen attack DMMK with old-timey childhood games, and the Mannerly Highbrow uses a hoop and stick to make DMMK into a katamari, gathering up all the objects and people nearby into a ball held together by DMMK's gravity. DMMK once again increases his mass and decreases his volume, causing the katamari to crash through the bottom of Whore Island and rapidly descend.
 * Honeybee Professor supervises construction of the eighth and final Impetus Comb, the electrical current is still crossing the universe, and PI is still not at the barrel. To speed things up, PS turns the universe 90 degrees so that the barrel will fall into PI's arms, but it bounces off his head and falls off the ship. Its trajectory adjusted by PS and DMMK, the barrel hits the Vulnerabulb and depletes DMK's Spunk Myrrh, leaving him with only Pep Gold. PS rights the universe and PI's Gambit Schema finally wears off.
 * DMMK shrinks even more and enters the Game of Life. The characters in his orbit are scattered around the game board while DMMK himself arrives next to his thugs. As the assorted characters exit the Game of Life through a door, the dead characters leave through the afterlife door, and Death reminds himself to invest in heavier security measures (i.e. woodwind instruments). DMK makes his final ascent.
 * HD swats the Ink out of the hatless man's hand and it lands next to PS. In the Game of Life, DMMK pulls his drawstrings even tighter.

Chapter 21

 * DMMK transforms into Black Hole Mobster Kingpin, capable of pulling anything into his gravitational field. Two thugs are sucked in. Meanwhile, all the temporal PI duplicates arrive in the afterlife and Death convinces them not to leave. Also remaining are the Bonehead, the whale, and MM, who makes Death uncomfortable by appearing to fancy him.
 * PS takes the Ink of Squid Pro Quo. BHMK sucks in all the escapees from the afterlife and Game of Life, then rests atop the newly regenerated DMK's hat. DMK now possesses three health bars, instantly heals damage, and is only vulnerable to righteous fires of charisma. NB and HD witness the time dilation effect and see every future event in the universe as they are pulled into BHMK's event horizon.
 * DMK deploys a briar of thorned flagella over his face, serving as both a defensive barrier and offensive tentacles, which he demonstrates by grabbing PS and PI. The bees near completion of the final Impetus Comb and the residents of the afterlife play Hungry Hungry Hippos, using the four PI duplicates as the hippos.
 * GPI summons the PI duplicates from the afterlife to have them do his bidding. Each of the PIs is to perform Temporal Replicsimile, then have the resulting duplicates perform the same, and so on ad infinitum. By constantly duplicating and time travelling, the PIs occupy all space in the universe at every point in time, becoming the particles that make up all matter. This is how the universe was created.
 * HD, NB, and the others land in the event horizon, on top of BHMK's hat. The Demimonde Goddess (summoned by one of the whores during the attack on DHMK) is also here, along with an army of one thousand angels.
 * The Weasel King makes a survey of the volcano Mount Saint Lardass, which is suddenly acting up after centuries of inactivity and preparing to erupt. The Devil writes a second recap of the story summarizing everything that took place after the first recap.
 * As BHMK's power pulls all heavenly bodies towards him, PI tries to tickle the briar away with the Tectrix of the Arbitor, but he drops it. Fortunately, PS catches it and uses its weapon mode - the sword Textrixcalibur - to slice the briar and escape. With the eighth and final Impetus Comb completed, PS at last uses Sepulchritude.

Chapter 22

 * PS transforms into the Chosen Arbitor, his righteous fires of charisma totally destroying the briar. He launches an attack against DMK and destroys his third health bar.
 * Death tries to keep the doors of Life and death shut by wedging a clarinet between them. He forgets about the difference in gravitational potential between the afterlife and the black hole, causing the contents of the afterlife to get sucked out into the event horizon. It will take the strongest man in the world to shut the door again.
 * Using the ultimate variant of Belly of the Whale, AD absorbs ZAD and FAD into himself and becomes... AD. However, the transformation does make him the strongest man in the world, and he closes the afterlife door so Death can wedge the trombone into position.
 * The Demimonde Goddess and her angels attempt to leave the black hole. The angels turn into angel/antiangel pairs, half of which successfully leave and half of which remain inside. The Goddess is likewise split into two Demimonde Semigoddesses, and the one who escapes commands her army to attack DMK. She then grants PS a boon and gives him the Smith Corona Blotspitter, a powerful gun, and an ink ribbon cartridge to act as ammo.
 * With his new weapon's typewriter mode, PS writes a strongly worded unpleasant note directed towards DMK, increasing his Sick Burn meter. Using the ultimate incarnation of Sleuth Diplomacy, PS then loads the letter into the Blotspitter and opens fire, destroying DMK's second health bar.
 * BHMK tightens his drawstrings even more, giving him more mass than the universe and creating a supermassive black hole. DMK uses Ladder to Hell to give himself a huge amount of additional health bars.
 * The MSPA Reader is excited to see that a new page has been posted. After actually reading the Ladder to Hell page, however, he pulls out a pistol and looks at the suicide-inducing tree stump.
 * The new health bars crash through the earth and end in Hell. PI realizes that the Chicago Overcoat is headed straight for a sun and attaches the Chronoscope to the sextant, turning the clock tower into a giant sextant as well. Using the new information provided by the sextants, PI successfully reorients the universe so that the Overcoat is no longer headed for the sun. It is, however, now headed for a collision with the clock tower.
 * With Mount Saint Lardass about to explode and the universe in danger, the Weasel King communes with PS and allows him to perform the Final Flip Out. PS's rampage destroys several of DMK's health bars. His Ink of Squid Pro Quo finally runs out, and the final phase of Sepulchritude is activated: a massive wave of holy charisma radiates out from PS and annihilates all of the remaining health bars. The Vulnerabulb is exposed again, but this time it has bloomed into a Fetal Seedpod. If it is not destroyed quickly, the seedpod will turn into another DMK.
 * PS is incapacitated and PI races to find some way to destroy the seedpod. BHMK tightens his drawstrings to their absolute limit, creating an ultra massive black hole that sucks in the sun. PI has put the sniper rifle back together, but DMK is sucked into the black hole before he can take the shot.
 * In one last, desperate move, PI shoots the moon, making it fall into the black hole. As PS is pulled towards the event horizon, he watches as the fan current finally reaches the fan, blowing the Snoop Dogg bust off of the candy mecha legs. The bust falls into the sudocube PI solved as part of his challenge with Death, and PI rotates the universe so the bust passes through the cube's interior. PS is pulled into the event horizon.
 * The Snoop bust leaves the cube, defeating it once and for all. In the black hole, the Demimonde Semigoddess leads her army against DMK, but he uses his eye beams to defend the seedpod and kills the Semigoddess. With one last wheel turn, PI steers the Snoop bust into the black hole, where it collides with the seedpod and rains candy onto it, destroying most of DMK's Pep Gold. Unfortunately, he still has a little left, so PS is forced to make the ultimate sacrifice: he throws his candy corn at the seedpod. The last of the Pep Gold is depleted and DMK is finally slain.
 * The moon lands on top of BHMK's head, pushing him through the Gravity Brassier. A number of events occur at once: Mount Saint Lardass erupts; the black hole is destroyed, scattering its occupants in every direction; the universe is restored to its original dimension; and the Chicago Overcoat collides with the clock tower, sending PI flying off the deck.
 * MK is launched out of Mount Saint Lardass. DMK's hat lands on top of the Ham Needle. AD, PS, and PI land next to it, while MK is impaled on the tower's antenna and killed off once and for all. He drops the Megaton Key, which AD easily picks up, and NB and HD drive up in a flying car provided by the whores.
 * As AD and PI do a victory dance, PS lies on the ground, unconscious and dying. Before his existence can come to an end, however, he is kissed on the cheek by HD and awakens.
 * The five get in the car and the detectives return to their office building. AD uses the Megaton Key on the building's exit and opens the door, at last allowing the detectives to leave. The end credits roll:
 * Animation: Andrew
 * Level Design: Andrew
 * Character Design: Andrew
 * 3-D Rendering: Andrew
 * Production Manager: Andrew
 * Art Direction: Andrew
 * Finance Consultant: Andrew
 * Audio Engineer: Andrew
 * Story: YOU