Homestuck: Act 5 Act 2

Act 5 Act 2 is the second half of Act 5 of Homestuck. It is the current act.

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The major events of Act 5 Act 2 are:


 * HS 4526Karkat Vantas views scenes from John Egbert's life, beginning with his arrival on Earth. Baby John sits atop the volume of Sassacre's that crushes his Nanna. Later in life, a young John rides his Pogo Ride until tumbling off and scraping his knee. Dad comes to his aid. Later, Dad teaches John to play the piano. John wears a shirt with a black spade on it. Dad throws a pie in John's face while wearing a familiar disguise. Later, John first introduces himself to Jade Harley through Pesterchum. He shoots cards out of his sleeve, baffling Karkat. Scenes of John from earlier in Homestuck are shown: preparing Jade's birthday present, looking up at his Meteor, battling Crude Ogres, wielding the Wrinklefucker, being praised by Salamanders, and flying while asleep on Bro's Rocket Board. Karkat seems to see John as his one true Kismesis.
 * HS 4527Karkat makes his first attempt to troll John (who has obtained a new outfit and newly alchemized gear). Karkat is surprised to find out that John knows all about him due to his friendship with Karkat's future self. John reveals that the trolls have assisted the Kids in making a plan to cause The Scratch. Karkat hints at his feelings of kismesissitude. Even though John is open-minded, he turns Karkat down, though his reasons for doing so - not being homosexual and complications arising from Karkat's relationship with Terezi - are hard for Karkat to comprehend, since they are not issues in Troll Romance. As the conversation has taken an awkward turn, they agree not to speak of it again. Karkat decides to troll John's past self.
 * HS 4528Terezi Pyrope opens up a memo to discuss Karkat's plan to troll the Homestuck Kids as Karkat attempts to make a rousing speech to encourage them to get revenge. Numerous Past Karkats crash the memo in protest and eventually get banned. Terezi and Karkat start arguing using the same computer and keyboard. Finally, a future Terezi tells her past self to join in and troll the kids, which she was planning to do anyway.
 * HS 4530John crash-lands on the Land of Wind and Shade but remains asleep. Vriska Serket, viewing John via Trollian, tries to manipulate him in his sleep but fails.
 * HS 4538Dream John and the Uber Bunny meet his Dad and Rose Lalonde's Mom on the remains of The Battlefield. They have a short exchange and John tries to reunite with his loving father and the scarf lady, leaping off a cliff, Tavros-fashion, to do so. Vriska tries harder to manipulate John and succeeds in waking him, causing his dreamself to blink out of existence seconds before a heartwarming reunion. John, now awake on LOWAS, gets trolled by Vriska. On Skaia the White Queen's Ring falls into a stream after John disappears. A disappointed Dad is offered a tipple from Mom's flask. Above them a cloud shows the explosion of Rose's first gate.
 * HS 4553Vriska and John have a short exchange. She persuades him to focus on helping Jade enter The Medium rather than go back to sleep and reunite with his father. John’s long-lost server copy of the Sburb beta springs from a Parcel Pyxis to him. Nice!
 * HS 4556On Jade's Island, Jade finally completes her descent and is saved by Bec, who warps her bed underneath her at the last possible minute. Jade instantly falls asleep, just missing a Pesterchum message from John.
 * HS 4559On Skaia, the Warweary Villein stands in a river running red with the blood of the recently fallen. He mourns their deaths, believing it was foolish for him to have lead them into battle. He discovers something shiny in the river...
 * HS 4561John and Vriska chat as John heads for a return node. Vriska discusses troll culture, including their Lusus. She also discloses the point of Sburb: the creation of a new universe. The two continue to have a rather civil conversation as John heads back to his house to run the Sburb server beta.
 * HS 4565Upon arriving home, John discovers Imps running amok through his house. Thoroughly displeased, he swiftly dismisses the ruffians by utilizing extreme seriousness. His bedroom is messy. Well, messier than usual. The imps have defiled his movie posters, leaving him on the verge of tears. They have thrown his computer out of the window, as well.
 * HS 4572Vriska pesters John about his sweet movies and insists he is wasting time. She is then embarrassed by a bucket lying on the floor of John's room. John explains it's used for cleaning and not procreation. As he tosses the bucket out of his room, Vriska reveals that "Spinneret" isn't her real name, which is a "sekret"...
 * HS 4576John walks onto the balcony, finding both imps and salamanders around his Alchemiter. Nanna is nowhere to be found. Looking up at his house, John is surprised at how much it has grown and how busy his server player has been.
 * HS 4582John pesters Rose. She is already aware of the shocking revelations John had in store for her, such as the creation of the paradox babies. Rose states that rather than continue to play and inevitably lose, she intends to break the game. Her plan now is "(t)o do as much damage to the game as possible. To rip its stitches and pry answers from the seams."
 * HS 4583Rose, wearing a new ensemble, walks along a beach in the Land of Light and Rain. Turtles, the Consorts of the LOLAR, cower in fear as she passes. Rose comes upon a Turtle temple or fortress. Asking Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer, who also sports sharp new duds, for one of her Thorns, she uses it to uproot the fortress, sending stones and turtles flying into the air. Rose is contacted by Kanaya Maryam, who reveals to her that she has been reading Rose's Walkthrough.
 * HS 4593Shortly after Karkat's speech about trolling the Kids, Kanaya asks him if he knows anything about Rose. Karkat says that he will steer clear of her, so Kanaya then agrees to troll Rose.
 * HS 4595Kanaya has her HS 3614 (first conversation) with Rose – actually with John on her computer. Unable to open her viewport in Trollian, Kanaya is unaware that she is talking to him, not Rose. After Sollux helps Kanaya open her viewport, she sees Rose spring the trap John had left for her. Seeing the bucket on Rose’s head, Kanaya becomes filled with embarrassment and shields her screen from view.
 * HS 4601Trying to put that embarrassment behind her, Kanaya goes further back to when Rose is first HS 2115 (introduced). She tries to name Rose “Flighty Broad”. Kanaya then trolls John, earlier in his timeline when he still wore his Spade shirt. After conversing with John, and later with Dave and Jade as well, she deems that the conversations did not go well because of their inferior human intellect. However, her curiosity remains piqued.
 * HS 4609Kanaya switches the viewport to Rose's house in the winter, where Rose is outside making a snowman with the head of a cat. Kanaya goes on to say how bright and pretty the Earth is, and how nice Rose is dressed. Rose once again gains a slight upper hand for her fashion sense and "loyal snowlusus".
 * HS 4612Kanaya has her HS 2993 (second conversation) with Rose, and, although satisfied with her trolling effort, it is obvious to Kanaya that this Rose is different than before. She believes that her first conversation had simply been Rose toying with her. She has her HS 3838 (third) conversation with Rose, which does not go well.
 * HS 4614Her fourth through sixth conversations continue the trend, leaving Kanaya in a rather bad state as Rose continually out-snarks her. After she asks Dave for HS 3489 (advice), she pulls out her trump card in the HS 3492 (seventh conversation) with a (slightly modified) of their first conversation. Moving on to the eighth conversation, Kanaya views Rose destroying her first gate. Shocked at what Rose has done, she quickly questions Rose, who has some questions of her own.
 * HS 4623Having just remade his Cosbytop Computer, John is trolled by Vriska. He starts to blast off with his Rocket Pack to search for Nannasprite, but Vriska stops him so that he can make a replacement for his Junior Ectobiologist’s Lab Suit, since she has seen him do so in his future.
 * HS 4626Rose chats with Kanaya while disassembling the Turtle fortress she has levitated. They discuss the information Rose has gathered in her dreams from the Gods of the Furthest Ring. Kanaya informs Rose that her Viewport goes black several hours from that point, well before The Rift occurs. Rose discovers within the Turtle fortress what appears to be a Captchalogue card for the Green Sun, with which Kanaya is unfamiliar.
 * HS 4632Vriska prepares an outfit for John that is almost exactly the same as her own, with a different color scheme and a Green Slime Ghost in place of her Scorpio symbol. John promptly blasts off after Vriska tells him that they will not speak for a couple hours. Jokingly, John tells Vriska that his last name is Anderson, obviously a reference to the Matrix.
 * HS 4637On the way to the top of his house, John is pestered by Dave, who promptly requests that John give him his Boonbuck so he can work the Land of Heat and Clockwork Stock Exchange. Dave tells John he has time-travelled through at least three times the 24-hour period they have until the Rift. After some convincing, John agrees to transfer his money to him.
 * HS 4638At the LOHAC Stock Exchange, three different time-travelling versions of Dave are surrounded by his consorts, Crocodiles. Dave loads John's Boonbuck into his virtual porkhollow and utilizes his scams to multiply the Boonbuck, adding to his already large fortune of over 216 septillion Boondollars. (For comparison, a Boonbuck is only a million.)
 * HS 4642Dave chats with Terezi about his Boon-wrangling. They share a of  and Dave sends 413 Boonbonds to Terezi 6 hours and 12 minutes prior to their conversation.
 * HS 4643Terezi views Skaia from The Veil in the trolls' session through her Smelloscope. She sees the destruction of Prospit and, after seeing Kanaya slice off Tavros's legs with her chainsaw, starts a memo to inform the others of Prospit's destruction. Nepeta mentions that Derse is also destroyed 3 hours and 14 minutes in the future.
 * HS 4655Terezi receives Dave's monetary transfer from the future. Sollux traces the transfer back to him. Terezi, Sollux, and Feferi then view Dave's past. Bro finds him atop a deceased Maplehoof in a Meteor crater and, with the help of Lil Cal, raises him, training him in combat even as an infant.
 * HS 4672Terezi contacts Dave for the first time in accordance with the timeline. The view switches back to the present Dave, who seems to be in hot water (literally). Terezi reveals that she made the scheme to befriend the crocs.
 * HS 4675Dave gets out of the pool and changes into his Four Aces Suited. Terezi asks for his trust. Dave's future self comes out from hiding behind a column and gives him a thumbs up as a sign that she can be trusted.
 * HS 4679Dave and Terezi talk about busting some sweet moves, while Dave heads down an elevator. Terezi sends Dave some animated GIFs of two kids dancing, with Terezi's signature editing over it. She tells Dave that he must start accumulating Boondollars. Dave is messaged by Karkat while standing next to a huge gold clock-tower shaped like a crocodile.
 * HS 4684Meanwhile, John pesters Vriska while high atop his house, much to Vriska's dislike. John apparently figures out Vriska's real name, also much to her dislike. He sends a video of the ending scene of Con Air. As John is messaged by Karkat, Vriska falls head over heels for Nic Cage, even going far enough as to kiss the monitor.
 * HS 4690Karkat trolls John and Dave about them getting too close to some of the trolls - Terezi for Dave and Vriska for John. Karkat suggests Vriska and Terezi might be romantically interested in the humans. He tells them to stop and literally orders them to with the other two Sburb players: John to Rose and Dave to Jade.
 * HS 4692In the flash game "[S] Past Karkat: Wake up" (AKA Alterniabound), the player can control three trolls (Karkat, Vriska, and Terezi) in their lab in The Veil shortly after the trolls come into contact with the humans. See the Alterniabound page for more details.
 * HS 4693John tries to connect with Jade but is surprised by Nannasprite throwing a pie. Thankfully, she saves him from falling off of his house by generating a sprite-powered bed to Sweet Catch him.
 * HS 4698John discusses with her his experience in the game so far. Nannasprite gives John a necklace so that he can contact her at any point. She offers to prepare a meal for him, which, unsurprisingly, turns out to be a huge prank. John's Prankster's Gambit sinks to an all-time low.
 * HS 4704Rose is messaged by Eridan, Aradia, and Nepeta. She talks to Eridan first, and after some witty banter, she destroys his computer (as seen in Alterniabound).
 * HS 4708She then answers Aradia, who warns her about the consequences of using the Green Sun, stating that "[Rose] cant p0ssibly wield its energy 0r put it t0 c0nstructive use," before pretending to go berserk out of sheer desperation. Aradia does not explode...yet.
 * HS 4712Finally, Rose answers Nepeta, who wants to talk to Jaspersprite because he reminds her of Pounce de Leon. Rose summons Jaspersprite with a necklace similar to that given to John by Nannasprite, then gives him her laptop as she has no more need for it. Rose releases Jaspersprite to do as he pleases. They discuss her new objectives in Sburb.
 * HS 4717Meanwhile, Gamzee, Equius, and Terezi message Dave in the Crocodile Statue. Dave answers Gamzee first, and during their conversation he sends him the music video for "Miracles" by ICP. Unfortunately, the actual Insane Clown Posse does not live up to Gamzee's expectations, causing him to caliginously dismiss the video as blasphemy, as well as go into a distinctly non-fuzzy Hero Mode.
 * HS 4725Dave then talks with Equius, and they share some dope rhymes while Dave tries to pull a legendary sword out of a stone. Eventually, Dave decides to deliberately break it so that he can use it with his strife specibus. Equius sweats profusely at this, and takes a Con Air poster to dry himself off.
 * HS 4733Dave finally talks with Terezi once again, and with Nepeta's drawing tablet she draws him a prophetic comic, while encouraging him to not rely too much on his friends, family, or time-displaced selves to get him out of trouble.
 * HS 4735Davesprite is summoned, and he talks about how breaking Caledfwlch had angered Hephaestus, but not as much as the loss of the forge in the alternate timeline. Davesprite then promises to defend Dave when he goes to sleep, which just happens to be when Vriska forces him to do so.
 * HS 4741At the Beat Mesa, Jack absconds with Bro's katana.
 * HS 4748We return to the slumbering Jade, as she has a dream about the Squiddles. The dream, although initially somewhat bizarre, proceeds to get more insidious. Feferi, who is also asleep without a corresponding dream self, makes an appearance as well. As Dream Dave looks into the Furthest Ring and removes his shades as suggested, he witnesses their dream turn into a nightmare. Eventually, Jade finds herself in the Furthest Ring, whereupon she wakes up out of pure horror.
 * HS 4749Jade, having been visibly affected by the nightmare, talks with Feferi, who hints that despite the former's protests she will fall back asleep and join the latter again in the Furthest Ring.
 * HS 4751Jade then talks with Karkat, since she was instructed to talk to him after her Dreambot exploded. Karkat opens a memo and tries to get his future self involved. When he does show up, however, they start arguing with each other, much to Jade's torment. It appears that Future Karkat harbors something for Jade. Jade goes off on them, visibly very frustrated. Dave butts in at some point to call Future Karkat out on his hypocrisy. Finally, Jade gives up and stops replying to the memo.
 * HS 4753Jade throws away all of her reminders but one, that one being about John's safety. Fortunately, John is safe and connected as Jade's server player. John sets up the Cruxtruder in the Grand Foyer, and dumps out two of her garden tables in the Atrium to make room for the Totem Lathe and Alchemiter, to her consternation.
 * HS 4768John and Jade catch up on things. John names his Bunny Liv Tyler. Jade tells him to retrieve the White Queen's ring when he goes to sleep next, and John prepares to open the Cruxtruder.
 * HS 4769Jack is seen flying towards the Land of Wind and Shade, still holding Bro's sword. He meets Bro there, throws him his sword, and the two appear to be resuming their duel.
 * HS 4777John then opens the cruxtruder with a globe. However, it then bounces and almost hits Jade on the head. Fortunately Bec wakes up and redirects the globe into outer space, while warping outside.
 * HS 4780With the cruxtruder open, Jade finds herself with 10 minutes and 25 seconds left to enter the medium. John and Jade discuss what to prototype her Kernelsprite with.
 * HS 4781As Bro and Jack get ready for their duel, they notice Davesprite coming in for a surprise visit.
 * HS 4787John proceeds to remove the stuffed Typheus Minion from the transportalizer. However, when he sets it down in the Grand Foyer, he ends up making a mess. After that, Jade has about 6 minutes to get in. John mentions that Grandpa is their paradox father, which Jade is apparently still unaware of.
 * HS 4791While John helps Jade get into the Medium, Jack, Bro, Davesprite, and a repaired Lil Cal continue their fight. Jack activates his ring and sets the nearby oil rivers on fire, but Davesprite and Bro are unharmed. A bolt appears to head for a large oil lake or ocean. As LOWAS burns, Rose observes through a crystal orb.
 * HS 4804John asks Rose for advice on Jade's prototyping. Rose refuses to tell him out of fear of creating an alternate timeline. She also says that evolving skaia to its final form will create a special treasure in the center of skaia, which Dream John must retrieve. She also appears to own a crystal ball of some sort, which allows her to observe different parts of the incipisphere.
 * HS 4805Using a punched card, Jade carves her Totem, and asks Dave for help creating her Cruxite Artifact. However, one of the crocodiles has found Dave's IShades and is talking in his stead.
 * HS 4809Dream Dave flies over to Dream Rose's tower to find her sleeping dream self glowing with a strange black energy.
 * HS 4814Rose stops observing Dave's original self with her crystal ball and switches to John. John is inexplicibly sleeping in the middle of a lake of oil on top of a copy of his bed conjured by Nanna. His Cosbytop and the pendant Nanna gave him sink into the oil. After failing to get a response from Jade, he idiotically throws his PDA into the oil as well.
 * HS 4820John uses his remaining Serious Business Goggles to contact Rose, who warns him about the planet being set on fire, whereupon he finds a solitary rock to escape to. Rose, as is becoming the trend, is becoming grimmer with her conversations. By John's request, she reveals that the treasure in the center of Skaia is The Tumor. However, before he can get any more info, he is interrupted by Karkat and Vriska.
 * HS 4825Karkat has, from his perspective, his second conversation with John. He claims that whatever John did was a serious screw-up, and finally agrees to tell John what it was. To no one's surprise, the narrator doesn't let the readers see what he says. The ground beneath John begins to shake.
 * HS 4827Jade receives her "item", which is revealed to be a piñata, however she is unable to destroy it by hitting it directly. John is also about to prototype Jade's Kernelsprite, but is put to sleep by Vriska before he can finish. Becquerel then prototypes himself (it should be noted that he would have done this anyway had Vriska not prevented John from prototyping). Becsprite then destroys the meteor heading towards Jade's home, causing some kind of atomic explosion over Earth, and also redirects Jade's bullet to hit the piñata, allowing Jade to enter the Medium and the final prototyping to occur. Because of this, the kids' Jack Noir, who is still in the process of fighting Bro, Lil Cal, and Davesprite, gains the powers of Becquerel through the properties of the Queen's Ring. A narrative timeskip shows that Jack uses the dimension-bending abilities of Becquerel to destroy the Trolls' end-game door, revealing himself to be what the Trolls call the 'demon' that attacked Prospit and Derse.
 * HS 4828It is revealed that Jack killed Bro and Davesprite upon his prototyping. He steals Bro's shades and Lil' Cal. Karkat explains Bec's prototyping to John, blaming Jade for prototyping and John for allowing this to happen by falling asleep.
 * HS 4834While Karkat and John banter with each other, the Windswept Questant finds a terminal for repairing the Bec Head Base. Using her Spirograph Key, she turns it on, allowing the base to re-form and drop onto the shoulders of the Frog Temple, surprising the rest of the Exiles.
 * HS 4842The Wayward Vagabond, in a fit of memory, recognizes the "boy on the screen" as John. In the flashback to current events, Dream John witnesses Skaia morph into its final form. The Villein defends his treasure from John, believing him at the time to be a thief.
 * HS 4854The Wayward Vagabond then communicates with John, who had just woken up several pages ago. However, he has trouble communicating with him, what with John's current engagement with Karkat. Flustered, he presses the Caps Lock key on his terminal's keyboard again, getting him trapped within the Skyship Base.
 * HS 4869John then talks with Vriska, who reveals that she intentionally put John to sleep so as to create Bec Noir, and thus get him involved with the troll's session. She insists that through these machinations, the Trolls and the Kids will be able to take Jack down together.
 * HS 4877WV commands John to "DO THE WINDY THING", which after enough pressure he does do, creating a massive hurricane of blue wind and dousing the green flames in the process. Vriska congratulates him on his efforts.
 * HS 4885Dream Dave begins reading up on the New York Times bestseller Dream Bubbles by renowned actor-director/prophet Charles S. Dutton. His first entry is an accurate description of Jade's Planet, the Land of Frost and Frogs.
 * HS 4889Jade begins sleeping again, and flashes back to when she was creating Liv Tyler as a present to John. Feferi immediately chats with her, and Jade is hit with deja vu about the conversation. Suddenly, Feferi comes out of seemingly nowhere and hugs Liv, before "revealing" that she died. Jade wakes up, again in a panic.
 * HS 4897Jade then heads home for her Lunchtop. However, she is then accosted by an Uranium Imp prototyped with Bec's powers and a harlequin costume. No matter what she does, the Imp simply warps reality to escape getting shot. During the strife, Jade passes through the LOHACSE; through LOWAS and LOLAR; onto Rose and John's houses (on the latter, several copies of the imp appear); past Dave, who wakes up from his sleep on the Suitarang pile, somehow putting his shades on as he sits up; and in front of one of Dave's future selves in front of a temple apparently dedicated to Echidna on LOFAF, as well as various other places on the planet. Eventually, Becsprite steps in and nukes the imp, allowing Jade to become a KIDDO ECLIPSE.
 * HS 4906Jade tries to thank Becsprite, but he can only respond in blocks of nuclear glow, much to her shock. It is at this point that the Peregrine Mendicant tries to talk with Jade, and has her interface destroyed for her troubles.
 * HS 4914PM initially has trouble being the Queen of Exile Town, so the Windswept Questant offers her help in dealing with her position. PM then appoints WQ as her royal advisor.
 * HS 4920Jade and Becsprite return home, whereupon Jade finds that all of her equipment had been broken. The only thing left intact is her lunchtop. Future Dave messages her, from a point on his own timeline near his chat with John near the beginning of the act, and she tells him how all of the equipment for sburb has gone. Dave says he will be able to build new equipment, and tells her to deploy the Intellibeam Laserstation, which she does.
 * HS 4926Dave then reveals the purpose of aforementioned device, with the intent to duplicate his server disc. Upon doing so, he becomes Jade's server in the future, while maintaining connections with Rose in the past. Thus, he is able to give Jade a fully upgraded Alchemiter to replace the broken equipment. In reaction to this, the Readers attempted (very excitedly) to make Jade start alchemizing, causing her to nearly Flip The Fuck Out as she was still getting adjusted to Sburb proper.
 * HS 4934Dave, now awake, retrieves his iShades from the Crocodile, and talks with Rose. He tells her that he did remove his shades to see the nightmare bubble belonging to Jade, and that The Noble Circle of Horrorterrors were pleading for help, not that he wanted to do so. Rose expalins that they are getting massacred, and the Dersite dreamers (them) were their last hope. Further, she explains the plan in which she, with Dave's help, finds the Green Sun with a complex chart created with assistance with the Circle, while John gets The Tumor (which is revealed to be a bomb to destroy the Sun (and de-power Bec Noir) with) from the middle of Skaia. She has been in contact with, who said that his purpose was fulfilled and he had nothing left to live for, hence the destruction. She also says that she is not coming back afterwards, suggesting that the mission will be of the kamikaze kind.
 * HS 4944Later, she reveals that it is not herself that would die, but rather, her dream self. They begin discussing how to find the map of the furthest ring. Dave and Rose decides that Dave should fall asleep to find the map. While talking about their patron trolls, Rose also suggests him to ask Vriska if he has diffculty doing so. They end their conversation as Kanaya pesters Rose.
 * HS 4945Kanaya talks with Rose, expressing her dissatisfaction with the latter's plan, and even suggests (although jokingly) that she'd send the Prince of Hope to stop her, though in reality she only made him a magic wand so that he would stop bugging her about Rose's secrets.
 * HS 4948Tavros then contacts Jade and he reveals that he spent a lot of time on Prospit as his dream self during the troll's session due to an event which he claims upset him quite a bit, and which he would rather not talk about. He then tells Jade that the reason he contacted her was because he wanted her permission to commune with Becsprite.
 * HS 4950As it turns out, he had done this once already for Bec to save Jade from getting shot when she was playing with Grandpa Harley's pistols as a child. Unfortunately, the Tavros-controlled Bec inadvertently redirected the bullet into Grandpa Harley, resulting in his death, something which Tavros thought of as a happy coincidence due to him misunderstanding the human concept of guardianship, mistaking Grandpa as an intruder on Jade's property. This ironically lead Grandpa Harley to die in the same method as his would-be guardian, Colonel Sassacre.
 * HS 4955Despite the bad news, Jade does forgive Tavros. They also form a bond over the fact that they both lost a guardian figure in their lives. Jade confesses that she's not interested in a Matespritship, but that nonetheless they should work on their new friendship.
 * HS 4957As soon as Jade ends her conversation with Tavros, however, Vriska begins hers, tearing into Tavros and revealing that she was behind an unknown number of Jade's narcoleptic attacks, as well as the reason the Draconian Dignitary created Bec in the first place (via a mind-controlled Courtyard Droll). It is becoming increasingly clearer that Vriska is "manipul8ing" the events of the Kids' session so that she will be the one to kill Bec Noir, thus multiplying her glory. Tavros takes up his lance and goes to stop Vriska, but ends up falling down some stairs.
 * HS 4968Meanwhile, Vriska manipulates Andrew Hussie into achieving his dream of riding a long magic dog through the sky and fucking up some bullies' shit.
 * HS 4975John skyrockets to the top of his Echeladder for doing The Windy Thing. However, he still has not undone the curse of Typheus.
 * HS 4979John then finds his Serious Business Goggles, and talks to Vriska, who tells him that he should find his Quest Bed to the north of where he started. More information can be found at John Enter Village.
 * HS 4982John finds and sleeps on the bed, whereupon Bec Noir finds and stabs him, thus clearing the way for his Dream Self to take over.
 * HS 4987Fireflies gather on the corpse of John's original self, and his Quest Bed lights up. John's Dream Self transforms into the outfit he is seen in at the beginning of the act, replacing the Green Slime Ghost with the Wind logo in a very symbolic manner. Rose, Dave, and Jade seem to notice this happening from their planets. Warweary Villein watches from Skaia, as his future self catches a glimpse of the fourth-prototyped Jack Noir standing over John's corpse, before John's screen shuts off. It is the 612th day of Homestuck.
 * HS 4990Dave sleeps on his Quest Bed in the Land of Heat and Clockwork, and Future Dave approaches the bed with the Broken Caledscratch in his hand. Just before he goes to kill the Felt Duds Dave, he pesters Terezi about his doubts about killing the Felt Duds Dave. Terezi also implies that Vriska was the only troll who could bear dying on her Quest Bed. After a discussion involving his time loops, he deduces that the Dave on the bed is a past Dave from an offshoot time line.
 * HS 4994Terezi then reminds Dave of a past conversation where she offers him a choice with the flip of a coin: If the coin lands on "good heads", she would show him how to reach the god tiers in their now, and if it landed on "bad heads" she would show him later. Dave remarks that the coin landed on the bad heads, which meant that she was now showing him how to do it, but still does not know where the doomed Dave comes from. Terezi tells him that by agreeing to the flip of the coin he created an offshoot time line where bad heads meant she would show him in that now. In this time line she tells that Dave to find his Quest Bed and go to sleep, and that Future Dave would kill him, thus allowing the alternate Dave to reach the god tiers. Dave remarks that the plan would be useless, since the alternate Dave is doomed. He proves his point by referencing Davesprite and his death. As they continue their conversation, Terezi asks Dave, "NOW WH4T?"
 * HS 4996Terezi then reveals that Dave will not make the God Tier after all, but it shouldn't matter, since the Trolls (except Vriska) beat the game without needing to take the Legendary Nap. Furthermore, Terezi did not look at the result of the flipped coin, leaving Dave's fate up in the air, a result that leaves him nonplussed (though the coin landing "bad heads" up offers something foreboding).
 * HS 4999In a flashback to Hivebent, Vriska is lying on the ground after Aradia's attack. Tavros crawls up to her, and Hearts Boxcars commands him to kiss her. As he leans forward to do so, Vriska forces him to choke himself, disappointing Boxcars, who seems to think that his terminal is some sort of game and leaves it. Vriska begins mind controlling Tavros from Prospit. She makes him write on the ground with her own blood to give a message, asking him to bring her to her Quest Recuperacoon. Tavros gets her into his rocket car and they depart.
 * HS 5013At the Quest Recuperacoon, Tavros is almost ready to stab Vriska with his lance and begin her God Tier ascension, when intervenes and tells her to take complete control of Tavros, which she refuses. Vriska becomes more and more desperate to have her original body killed, as her Dream Self becomes covered in blood. Soon, Diamonds Droog finds Tavros and also reprimands him for not completing the task at hand. He still fails to kill her and flees. As Tavros leaves, the Quest Recuperacoon disappears in a blast of light and Dream Vriska disappears from Prospit. Vriska then appears on Skaia as a fully realized Thief of Light. Upon reaching this status, Vriska's monitor shuts off, like John's when he reached the God Tiers. With no more reason to stay in the monitor station,  leaves.
 * HS 5033Meanwhile, WV laments what he assumes is John's death. He tries to leave the Skyship Base by pressing the Escape key, but the door jams since the station had run out of power. When he tries to search for a power source, he reminds himself about the HS 2589 (piece of uranium he ate many pages back).
 * HS 5039On the Land of Frost and Frogs, Jade draws a Christmas tree to get ready for the holidays. Except, she notices, it's April, far from the holiday season- and she doesn't know why she's attributing snow to the holiday season when she never did that before. Nevertheless, she still feels she deserves a "white Christmas". All the while, Karkat is trolling her, and she is ignoring him, causing him much ire. With Dave's guidance, Jade makes a Christmas tree and stocking of a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff quality.
 * HS 5044She then really gets down to business with alchemizing:
 * HS 5045Jade starts by trying to make earmuffs by alchemizing Rose's headband with a fluffy ball she drew. That doesn't turn out right, so she just draws and alchemizes a pair of earmuffs. Then she combines the earmuffs and her lunchtop to create the Lunchmuffs. Then for no other reason than because she had it, she combines her lunchtop card and a ghost image of Johnny 5 to create the useless Johnnytop.
 * HS 5051She then decides to do something both useful and awesome, and combines her outfit with the Iron Man armor to create the Iron Lass suit.
 * HS 5053She decides to alchemize comfier clothing (and avoid breaking copyright laws), and combines her outfit with one of Grandpa's beauties to create the Dress of Eclectica.
 * HS 5054Jade then attempts to duplicate the Magic Cue Ball, only to get a regular Magic 8 Ball. Undeterred, she combines that with Rose's crystal ball to get an even more useless Transparent Magic 8 Ball. The crystal ball then becomes a component to making the Sooth Specs and (with the Lunchtop) the Junior CompuSooth Spectagoggles
 * HS 5059She also makes a Warm Fuzzy Squiddlejacket and Squiddlesneaks, which are also computers, just to be safe.
 * HS 5060She then makes the Girl's Best Friend from her rifle and the Midnight Crew Poster, and a scary-looking Duttle from the ghost image of Charles Dutton and a Squiddle.
 * HS 5063Jade makes a Proton Cannon from the Iron Lass Suit, the rifle, and the Particle Accelerator that she sketched up. Unfortunately, it is too expensive, even with Dave's grist contributions.
 * HS 5066Next come the Dead Shuffle Dress, the Green Sun Streetsweeper (an upgrade of the Girl's Best Friend), and the Three in the Morning Dress.
 * HS 5069Jade then tries to combine the Mecha, the Streetsweeper, and the Iron Suit. However, the result is an underwhelming (but working) Johnny 5.
 * HS 5071Finally, she combines the Dutton image and the Sooth Specs to create the Dutton Bubble Goggles. Overall, she had an alchemizing session almost as fun as Christmas April 13, 2009.
 * HS 5074Eridan, armed with his Empricist's Wand, trolls Jade, making all of her computers light up. All of them. Eridan presumes that Jade has a rivalry of sorts with Rose, due to Jade being the Witch and Rose being a witch, but obviously, he is wrong. Nevertheless, he continues rambling about "truest sciences" and about him being bored with his rivalry with Rose. Jade becomes impatient with him, but Eridan then gives her the code for his rifle, which is revealed to be FFFFFFWW.
 * HS 5075After alchemizing the rifle, Jade notes that she is familiar with it. When Eridan tells her that it is one-of-a-kind, she tells him that the rifle was with John's present. Eridan says that the rifle is an imitation of the original, and Jade says that the rifle came from her penpal, who she thinks is from the future. When Eridan asks why she thinks this, she reveals that her penpal told her he is her grandson, before freaking out about telling him. Eridan then hypotheses that Jade's version of Ahab's Crosshairs is a Harley family heirloom. Jade refuses to use the weapon, and in response, Eridan uses his wand to destroy her Johnnytop, after which she tosses out Ahab's Crosshairs along with it.
 * HS 5078A flashback of the events beginning with Jack Noir's rampage on the Troll session shows that he destroyed the end-of-game door with 10 hours and 25 minutes remaining to some CRITICAL MOMENT, and Prospit at 6 hours and 12 minutes. Karkat woke up afterwards at precisely 5:12:24.
 * HS 5081At 4 hours and 13 minutes, Aradia trolls Sollux to say goodbye to him, though she isn't sure if it is for good or not. She then ceases trolling him, and gives him a hug, before promptly exploding in front of him, Equius, and Nepeta. Sollux then mourns her death... again.
 * HS 5088At 3 hours and 14 minutes, Terezi watches Felt Dave wake up from his bed, just to get his neck slashed by Jack Noir. Terezi begins tearing up while Karkat tries to poke her (presumably because he has never seen Terezi cry before) unsuccessfully. Terezi pushes him away with a doof, and Transportalizes away to her room in tears.
 * HS 5096Meanwhile on LOFAF, Jade is trying out her new Junior Compu-Sooth Spectagoggles, and because one of it's parent components are the Sooth Specs, she is now able to see everything: Skaia, LOFAF, Derse, LOWAS, and last but not least, John on The Battlefield. She compliments John in his Heir outfit, mistakenly believing it was Alchemized. Behind John is a Skaian dream cloud, with Jade viewing him inside it (and becoming more meta in the process), and the Warweary Villein. She then finds Rose in the Land of Heat and Clockwork, not far from the Beat Mesa, about to talk with.
 * HS 5100Jade then finds all 13 of the Daves created via time shenanigans, and decides to focus on Davesprite, only to find him dead along with Bro. She is more shocked on seeing Felt Dave with his neck slashed, accounting for the sudden decrement in Dave count. She then contacts one of the Daves, who reassures her that the dead Dave is one from a doomed timeline, and then reveals to her the Kids' Ectobiological origins. Jade urges him to stop Jack Noir, though Dave can't because he is trapped in all of his time shenanigans, or as he describes it, his "fucking one-man ballet", and also reveals her of the plan to cause The Scratch and Rose's plan to destroy the Green Sun with The Tumor. He also informs her about the thing that she is going to do.
 * HS 5105Jade then does the thing that she is going to do, but she doesn't know about it yet. She remembered Tavros's plan to commune with Becsprite, but Tavros is still at the bottom of the stairs, struggling to get up on his own to feet, after it stops happening. She then does something else as a last resort: she goes up to her lab where one of Jack Noir's Fenestrated Walls and her stuffed Dream Self's and Halley's corpse are held. She briefly catches a glimpse of Andrew still on the long magic dog and still mind-controlled by Vriska right after fucking some bullies' shit up. She lures out Becsprite with an irradiated steak she drew, and Tier 2 prototypes her Dream Self, turning Becsprite into Jadesprite, allowing him to talk and complimenting her love for fauna of an anthropomorphical persuasion.
 * HS 5113Unfortunately, Jadesprite, upon realizing what happened, begins to Flip the Fuck Out, screaming "WHAT DID YOU DO?" in an increasingly volatile manner. Meanwhile, at 0:00:10, a bloodied Gamzee is fondly regarding a miracle: the complete annihilation of the upper levels of Jade's House.
 * HS 5121The laboratory top bounces off the house and goes snowballing down the hill, with Jade, Jadesprite, and everything else rolling along with it. Eventually it comes across a tree stump.
 * HS 5125 Jadesprite cries while Jade is stuck upside down in a now messy laboratory. The Fourth Wall turns on to show Andrew Hussie's house painted mostly in green to look like The Felt's mansion. Hussie himself appears, wearing 's CAIRO OVERCOAT (though he admits that it's too big for him), which he promptly takes off and hangs on the Fenestrated Wall, giving Jade and Jadesprite their privacy.
 * HS 5131 Hussie then retires to his study and compliments Ms. Paint for a paint job well done, for a given definition thereof. He then checks on Cal, scolding him for not wearing his Felt-themed Cal-sized outfit, let alone swap his eyes for a set of billiard balls and make them alternate rapidly. It's bad enough that he had to take Falcor out behind the woodshed and blow his brains out because he caught the rabies (R.I.P. Falcor). He forgets about him and pulls up to the old Underwood, which he is replacing his computer with in keeping with the theme. He then busts out a shitty drawing of himself for maximum time efficiency, because it is time for the third recap of Homestuck from Act 5 Act 1 to now. He then applies Felt Duds to the drawing, also shittily drawn for maximum time efficiency.
 * HS 5137AH then begins typing, already having supplied an animated .GIF for it. He then complains that it is not nearly as fast and jittery as the HS 3888 (last recap), which is true, as the animation only has 2 frames, each lasting 0.5 seconds. He then adds four more frames and makes each span for 0.05 seconds. He then now begins to really start typing, and frustratingly, in white ink to keep with the theme. Nearing the end, the ink fortunately runs out and we can start to read it normally, because the white ink is such a pain in the ass to read. The Player tells Andrew that highlighting the white text crashed their browser, and so Andrew apologizes and continues on with the story, through the broken fourth wall.
 * HS 5141Jadesprite is still crying and asking Jade what she did, with Jade asking the same question. Jade asks Jadesprite why she's sad, and if she shouldn't have prototyped her. Jadesprite tells her no, because it is too overwhelming. She also says that she cannot stop seeing the Green Sun. She says she was happy with her friends, and asks if it can be undone, to which Jade says no. This causes Jadesprite to burst into another bout of tears, followed by an uncontrolled "woof".