Ongoing gags



Throughout the adventures many ongoing gags will pop up from time to time. They include:

Gags in Multiple Adventures

 * "Retrieve arms". Based on the fact that character arms are often not drawn when by the character's side. This command is often the first command given to a new character when they appear. This is a pun based on the word "armament" or weapons.


 * &quot;What Pumpkin?&quot; The appearance of pumpkins, which originated from Jail Break. As pumpkins are rather elusive, it's often very difficult to actually tell if there has ever been one in the room.


 * The word shit is used often, giving extra adjectives to adequately describe how shitty the command is. Sometimes the Shit is good, as in "Pose as a team, 'cause shit just got real"; or sometimes the Shit is bad, as in PS 1426 ("This is just Complete Horseshit").


 * Gay porn: Often times the author will slip in some gay porn. Most notable is Hunk Rump. It does not appear in Homestuck but the Smuppets can be a sort of replacement, as well as Equius' pictures.
 * Black Inches: Having first appeared in Jail Break (title does not need explanation), this is referred to multiple times Homestuck, such as Club's Deuce's smut magazine (a parody of sorts where "Black Inches" refers to licorice). Snowman's whip bears the same name, and Jack Noir's most powerful attack (Red Miles) is a subtle tongue-and-cheek reference to the magazine.


 * "First, be the pony. Second, ..." A command from makes an appearance in HS 2290 (Homestuck). It is eventually HS 3623 (used successfully).


 * YOU (VERB) THAT (NOUN) THIS INSTANT!: This cry of rage has so far appeared twice, originally in a Problem Sleuth donation comic and more recently seen in Homestuck: Act 5. It was first uttered by Ace Dick while playing a game of Hunk Rump: The Gathering. In an attempt to get Problem Sleuth to hurry up and finish his turn, he begins to urge PS to tap the ass card. When Problem Sleuth refuses, Ace Dick screams ". In its second debut Hearts Boxcars tries to get a doubt-filled Tavros Nitram to get up and kiss Vriska Serket. When Tavros refuses (due to his inability to stand up), Hearts Boxcars flips out and roars HS 4450 ("YOU KISS THAT GIRL THIS INSTANT!") Most recently, Doc Scratch has commanded Aradia's anscestor to HS 5939 ("render herself in a more symbolic manner this instant.")


 * "This is incredibly..." : In Problem Sleuth, several of Pickle Inspector's actions have been described PS 0954 (in) PS 1078 (this) PS 1765 (manner). It has also been seen in HS 2397 (Homestuck) HS 2197 ((more than once))HS 2665 ((and again here)) and the HS 3210 (Midnight Crew intermission). A common variant, "This is incredibly silly!", usually PS 1009 (involves), but occasionally HS 2655 (doesn't).


 * "X: Land already" : Used in Problem Sleuth and Homestuck to switch perspective to a character who has been falling, usually while other characters have been the focus. Has been used for PS 0647 (Problem Sleuth) PS 0763 (twice), PS 1065 (Nervous Broad), PS 1684 (Hysterical Dame), HS 4531 (John), HS 4557 (Jade) and HS 5198 (Tavros).
 * Auto-Parry. At first just a sight-gag in Problem Sleuth as Ace Dick fails to parry so much as take the blow full on, it morphs into a series of terrible puns in the Homestuck universe such as "Auto-Perrier" and "Blotto-Parry" when Rose Aggresses her mother. Dave also later uses "Auto-Harley" against Jack Noir.

Problem Sleuth Gags

 * Weapons in Problem Sleuth may be exchanged with PS 0220 (something) PS 0668 (else), also known as an innocuous double. The next frame typically gives an explanation of why it's ridiculous to think the character ever had such an object in the first place. This extends to the Midnight Crew, who keep all their items as decks of cards, and even appears briefly in Hivebent as one of the trolls' weapons. Later it's revealed that Lord English's CAIRO OVERCOAT also has an innocuous double.


 * "Punch &lt;noun&gt; in snout to establish &lt;adjectival noun&gt;": Ace Dick from Problem Sleuth is prone to expressing himself through violence, and tends to exert his Emotions in PS 1363 (this) PS 1081 (fashion). Oddly enough, it usually results in him gaining allies. HS 3080 (Recently ported) to the Midnight Crew Intermission.


 * "Ride &lt;noun&gt; like a mechanical bull": A command often given toward objects that clearly should not be ridden like a mechanical bull.


 * "Throw down hat in disgust": A command common among the male characters establishing their disgust in recent events. It doesn't matter whether they are PS 1226 (good) or PS 1411 (bad), nor how much they try and PS 1612 (resist), or even if they are PS 1649 (alive) or not, sooner or later PS 1613 (the hat will fly)! This gag was HS 2452 (extended) to Homestuck, as well as the HS 3206 (Midnight Crew) intermission. Jane recently HS 6167 (threw hers down) HS 6168 (in such disgust) that she managed to HS 6169 (level up as a result.) Her hat appropriately HS 6170 (shares in the glorious spoils.)


 * Busts: Typically placed in Problem Sleuth, busts are seen obstructing pathways, as Busts-R-Us is a Legitimate Establishment, and are constructed to look like several movie celebrities, most notably Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Snoop Dogg. A combination of busts has been created: the Bowen Stilson Dogg.


 * "Fondly regard...": Since Godhead Pickle Inspector refuses to do anything other than "Fondly Regard Creation", many commands are given that use a word that sounds very similar to "Creation". (For example, "Fondly regard PS 0969 (crustacean)" or "Fondly regard HS 1952 (cremation)".) His rule seems a little loose, though, as GPI does fondly regard some PS 1326 (crenellation), although it certainly could be considered part of his "creation." The same may apply to his PS 1678 (beloved children). In an extra, GPI to "Fondly regard donation", but, of course, that's non-canon. Bucking the trend a bit, Wayward Vagabond HS 3402 (holds a certain appeal) for the desert night over Exile Town.


 * Trying to use Sepulchritude. Problem Sleuth has had to PS 0876 (hold) PS 0930 (off) PS 0970 (on) PS 1106 (using) PS 1282 (Sepulchritude) many times, until it is finally PS 1708 (used).


 * "I don't know why you haven't thought of that": Some actions occur on their own, and the action notifies the player that they most likely should have thought of this MONTHS ago, or that something is so simple that the player shouldn't question its obviousness.


 * Flip the Fuck Out: Occasionally a character in Problem Sleuth (or, on one occasion, in Homestuck) will Flip the Fuck Out. Weasels from Problem Sleuth mainly do this when they get agitated.
 * "Fall in a more manner.": This has been used multiple times for Problem Sleuth (PS 643 (Fall in a more hard-boiled manner)), Pickle Inspector (PS 662 (Fall in a sillier manner)), and Nervous Broad (PS 1006 (Fall in a more nervous manner)).

Homestuck Gags

 * Idiotic thoughts: When characters are first introduced in Homestuck, they get HS 1916 (insanely) HS 2119 (idiotic) HS 2215 (thoughts) which normally consist of acting like an animal and besmirching their surroundings via some bodily discharge. They usually get these thoughts after trying to retrieve their Arms. Though those thoughts often got cancelled, Jade HS 2674 (goes) HS 2675 (ahead) with hers.
 * THIS IS STUPID: Used first by John, then other characters, whenever they realize something is particularly This_is_stupid_Large.gifd. The first time he began to have a mental breakdown when he realized that Betty Crocker, his sworn nemesis, manufactures Fruit Gushers, but quickly stopped when he realised that THIS IS STUPID. It was later invoked when he ignored Dave's advice about skipping to the seventh gate and blasted off anyways. Karkat is doing the same gesture when entering Trickster Mode after he HS 4692 (woke up). It happens again later in Daedric when Karkat has a mental breakdown after reading John's bucket-delivered letter over the idea of HS 6273 (Troll/Human sloppy makeouts).


 * Dropping things: In Homestuck, picking up things or taking them out of the Sylladex can cause other items captchalogued in there to eject, often violently and in a hilarious fashion.


 * Level Up for Slaying the Imp: In Homestuck, objects used by Rose to smash Imps are given their own ranking on the Echeladder. These objects include John's Fridge, his bathtub, and the old copy of Colonel Sassacre's.


 * "You figure you've left him hanging long enough.": In Homestuck, both John and Dave have left various things "hanging". In HS 2098 (one of John's cases) it is used figuratively to mean that he needs to high-five the Kernelsprite; John also regards his sprite's hanginghood HS 2780 (after he and Nannasprite kick some Ogre ass); in HS 2345 (Dave's case), it is meant literally in reference to the hanging puppet in his way.


 * "Be the other guy": A command used to semi-force the story to focus on another character. It was first used in Jailbreak (though not perfectly) and later appeared in Homestuck to make the story shift from Dave's perspective to John's. Also used for HS 2556 (other characters). Also used in the Midnight Crew intermission, where the command HS 3077 (never) HS 3092 (gets) HS 3098 (the) HS 3116 (desired) HS 3142 (result).


 * "Sweet Catch": Appears when one of the main characters catches something at very high speeds.


 * Misquoting: The narration will often include a quote, only to attribute it to the wrong person. This happens in the cases of HS 1982 (Walt Whitman) (A Francois De La Rochefoucauld quote), HS 1950 (Mark Twain) (a Shakespeare quote), HS 2207 (Charles Barkley) (a T.S. Eliot quote), HS 2344 (John Keats) (a Snoop Dogg quote), and HS 004888 (Charles Dutton) (another Shakespeare quote). There was also HS 003902 (One in Karkat's ~ATH Handbook Attributed to Troll Will Smith) (A John Oxenham quote).


 * Psyche: Before something cool is about to happen, AH suddenly shifts the story to focus on another character. The first time this happens is when Rose first leaves the observatory to HS 2208 (confront her mother), which is interrupted with "OH PSYCHE" and switches to Dave's introduction. Worthy of note is Andrew's HS 2565 (X2 DOUBLE PSYCHEOUT COMBO) and, eventually, an attempt at a HS 2656 (5X CLIFFHANGER COMBO) and the cause of an UNPSYCHE. On HS 2818 (this page) there's a PRELOADER PSYCHEOUT luring the reader into thinking it's Dave's Strife page when in it is really Jade's.


 * "&lt;Temporal noun&gt; in the &lt;Past/Future&gt;, but not many...": This expression is used a lot of times in Homestuck, to change the story's current time to go to the HS 2341 (past) or to the HS 2623 (future), as the story occurs in HS 2152 (both) simultaneously.


 * "Lousy goddamn stupid &lt;noun&gt;.": So far, every kid save for Dave has HS 2280 (voiced) his or her HS 2460 (disgust) for HS 2812 (something) in this HS 2963 (manner). Sollux Captor, in a similar but not-quite-the-same manner, and in a 2X DISGUST COMBO, expresses his distaste for HS 4047 (lousy stupid goddamn) psychics and his window. The Farmer also said this about the mushrooms. This also has a lesser version involving "Lousy stupid" in situations that do not warrent swearing.


 * "That's really all there is to say on the matter": Dave and John will often summarize their situation quickly, then say this. HS 2437 (That's) HS 2536 (really) HS 2903 (all) HS 2972 (there) HS 3557 (is) HS 4077 (to) say on the matter. Additionally, when Vriska forces Tavros to HS 4075 (jump off a cliff), he HS 4077 (types) "That's really all there is to report on the subject of me getting hurt" while in the same pose as Dave when he types "That's really all there is to say on the matter."


 * BLUH is commonly used as an all purpose reaction to...well, almost anything. Rose, John, Jade, Kanaya, Feferi, and even Spades Slick have expressed their thoughts about someone or something using some sort of BLUH. Trolls claim to be HS 3535 (unfazed by our human bluhs). See Scribble Mode.


 * "IS THIS YOU". Used by gC to attempt to troll Dave Strider by sending him pictures of various badasses males that bear a sort of resemblance to him. Once instance led Dave(sprite) to compliment gC's trolling methods, although he could have been trolling her in turn. Thus far, it has been used several times in two HS 3557 (different) HS 3835 (conversations).


 * Haunting Refrains: In Homestuck, when musical instruments are present in a scene (string instruments in particular), a command to play a haunting refrain is often chosen, and accompanied by a simple flash video. This actually originated in Problem Sleuth, when Problem Sleuth was commanded, but refused, to play a PS 0304 (haunting tuba refrain) because the tuba in question was encrusted with filth from years of neglect.


 * "Resist Urge to " : a reoccuring gag in which the character is close to an item that may be HS 2352 (tempting to use) or HS 2808 (touch). This usually ends in the character HS 3677 (failing to resist) the urge, but HS 3231 (not always.)


 * Huge Bitch : A gag that has so far appeared 4 times throughout Homestuck. It HS 3196 (first showed up) in the Midnight Crew Intermission. The next was in Homestuck: Act 4, in a HS 3568 (big flash page). The next appearance is in Hivebent HS 4094 (just before) Vriska's introduction. The HS 4206 (most recent instance) mirrors the second one. (The trolls' session's Jack Noir acts the same as the kids' session one). With the appearance of this gag comes a scribble of the targeted person. So far, only the Black Queen / Snowman and Vriska are considered a huge bitch. Huge bitches also say "BLUH BLUH" (see above). More recently, as Rose was busy being her typical cryptic self and left John hanging to deal with 2 trolls, he refers to her as a HS 4824 (HUGE WITCH).


 * Stunning revelation: Used in Hivebent to reveal something important to overall plot when it seemed otherwise. So far used for Aradia Megido's HS 4092 (all-the-time death) and (unsuccessfully) for the fact that the trolls HS 4217 (have one session and not two). In fact if the Game Master (Andrew) has to state that something is a shocking twist, it probably isn't. For example, Dad's room turning out to be perfectly ordinary.


 * "You cannot hope to beat  in a -off": You cannot hope to beat Egbert, Tavros, Aurthour, or Kanaya Maryam in a HS 3649 (prank-off), HS 4072 (a8scond-off), HS 4113 (butler-off), or HS 4616 (snark-off), respectively. They are simply the best there are.


 * Toilet displacement: In Homestuck, newly connected Sburb players who are still getting used to the interface seem to have a serious habit of ruining the client player's bathroom, in almost every case. The toilet (if we choose to use that hoity-toity, blueblooded term) is usually first to go, followed later by the bed and occasionally the bathtub. It's also a note to say that only females seem to do this and have some sort of toilet moving fetish. Rose, Jade, Terezi, Aradia, and even Kanaya have all done this.


 * Drinking something one is not supposed to : In Homestuck, one gag would go that a character would try to drink something that only looked tantalizing, only to retch in disgust and find out otherwise. So far, this has happened to John with his HS 3342 ("apple juice") (in Dave's imagination), Rose with one of her Mother's HS 3442 (martinis), Kanaya with the HS 4240 (blood) of her just-deceased Lusus, and Feferi with some HS 4354 (Troll Tab). The last one is doubly hilarious as she was attempting to drink while underwater. Eridan would've also HS 4377 (done this) with Faygo, but he considered it unnecessary since it's just soda. "We all need to settle down here."


 * "ALL THE (NOUN)S. All of them." : Appears all over Homestuck: Act 5 in most of the instances where Trolls are speaking of ALL of something. ALL OF IT. First shows up when Sollux is HS 3976 (introduced). It HS 4096 (frequently) HS 4122 (involves) HS 4196 (Vriska), but has also been used by HS 4341 (Feferi), HS 4367 (Eridan), HS 4692 (Karkat) (talk to Vriska) and Sollux. Also, the variation of "HS 4359 (None of them)" occurs where it fits better.


 * Headdesk and the beating of the back of the head. This happens twice in Homestuck. By HS 3831 (Karkat) during a flash animation and by HS 4368 (Eridan) during a normal panel.
 * Words beginning with "A": Sometimes fancy words of this kind are used instead of words which would be used usually in their place. John Egbert's computer has an "Actuate" button instead of a "Start" button. During Strife, the kids can select options such as "Aggrieve", "Aggress"(-&quot;passive&quot;), "Abjure", "Abscond", "Abstain", "Abuse", "Accuse", "Assail" or "Assault" (Jade, while firing at Bec, can choose "Arraign", "Arsenalize", "Artillerate", "Armamentify"... or "Arf".)


 * Oh nooooo... with various letters repeated. Fairly self-explanatory. Please make sure to read it in the proper tone of mental voice. First instance: Jade HS 2759 (hears from Karkat) again, the first time from our perspective. Second instance: Jade is thwarted HS 3282 (one more time) by a Pumpkin. Third instance: Dream Jade's HS 3344 (reaction) to the accidentally impaled crow. Another example: Nepeta's HS 4195 (comment) on her Shipping wall to the possible matespritship pair of Karkat and Vriska. Happens again when Jake HS 6133 (accidentally kills a fairy bull). HS 3924 (This time) doesn't count.


 * "Immutable Fact I am Stating... Does not mean": Karkat tells John that all troll kids hate all human kids during an HS 3294 (attempt to communicate helpfully) with him and calls John an idiot so that he can clearly explain why he is not trying to be mean to him. Terezi later HS 3424 (assures Rose) that she is being helpful, but friendship just isn't taking place. Kanaya HS 4039 (informs) Aradia that, although it is immutable that Sgrub will be terrible and although they are not on the same team, she will still be helpful.

The sound effects 'shoosh' and 'pap', not always in appropriate places.
 * Vriska being annoyed at having to follow explanations by keeping notes and running out of ink and pens and paper, etc.
 * The x2 Double Facepalm Combo, HS 2550 (first used) by Rose in the Mausoleum, then by Karkat HS 3808 (at his computer), and later HS 4385 (not quite accomplished) by Spades Slick. In HS 5660 ([S] Flip), Terezi pulled off a x3 Triple Facepalm Combo, with the aid of Cal (pap). The gag is later subverted with Doc Scratch's HS 005761 (Facepalm x0 Combo).
 * Bonk: Several times in Homestuck items have struck someone on the head with a satisfying BONK.
 * HS 3349 (ROBOSLAP), HS 4123 (ROBOSLAP).
 * Reunite with loving...: HS 3500 (Originally) HS 3831 (used) to fondly regard Con Air, but has now extended HS 4543 (beyond) HS 4624 (that).
 * Naming and renaming previously named non-speaking characters (usually flipping their gender in the process). Seen with Vodka Mutini (aka Dr. Meowgon Spengler), Casey (aka Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer), and Liv Tyler (aka Terry Kiser).
 * "This   called friendship" is mentioned multiple times, with frequent debate over whether friendship is actually an emotion or not.
 * Characters have been prone to making piles of objects related to them, like Jade's Squiddles, Rose's scarves, Gamzee's horns, and Eridan's wands. The only unique case is Vriska, since while she does have piles of dice and 8-balls lying around her hive, she was not the one to pile them, rather Kanaya who was simply cleaning her room. However, she is shown to have a pile of boondollars/bucks from her FLARP conquests in her secret room.
 * The sound effects 'nak' and 'doof', again not always in appropriate places.
 * Amusing alternative spellings - 'bunp', 'sign' (for 'sigh'), 'jegus', etc.
 * STRIIIIIIIIDDDDDDEEEERRRRR!!! Shouting Dave's surname with additional letters to express anger. Rose shouted it when she was trying to enter Sburb, and John at his Fraymotif Shop.
 * PCHOOOOO, and variations of it, being used as a sound effect/CAPTCHA for anything rocket related, like a rocket pack or rocket shoes.
 * Characters carrying five or more computers around with them, like sensible persons.
 * Except for John, who simply does not know any better keeps firing them out of his Sylladex, losing it in a sea of oil or keeping it in his Sylladex after giving it to someone.
 * "It's hard, being [blank]. It's hard, and no one understands". Repeated on several occasions.
 * "I am the [blank]. It's me." Repeated on several occasions as well.
 * "Who's this douche bag?" Reoccuring reaction to unfamiliar faces, like Bing Crosby.
 * "Acrobatic fucking pirouette": Several characters use this phrase, or a variation thereof, to describe how they are going to flip out if an annoying event continues to happen. First used by Dave when he was getting fed up with Bro's weird puppets. These are also used to dismount in an ironically un-graceful manner from certain objects. Dave does this off a sword, and Gamzee off his one-wheel device.
 * Characters riding some kind of mount like a bucking bronco with the caption "YES. FUCK YES. HELL FUCKING YES." The first two examples, involving HS 3672 (John riding Maplehoof) and HS 4343 (Eridan and Feferi riding seahorses), are crudely drawn, while the third, involving HS 4970 (Andrew Hussie riding Falcor the Luckdragon), is presented in the normal style (and with "Hell yes" instead of "Fuck yes" for the middle statement). Possibly an offshoot of the "Ride X like a mechanical bull" joke from Problem Sleuth.
 * "That didn't stop...": Used in situations mentioning something that has not been shown in the story in a decent amount of time, such as "That didn't stop being a thing that was real or anything" or "That didn't stop being true."
 * Shaving cream is initially expected to be flame-suppressant by both the HS 3379 (Authority Regulator) and HS 3385 (John). However, John is quickly made to revise this expectation drastically with the revelation of HS 3386 (OH GOD HOW CAN SHAVING CREAM BE SO FLAMMABLE). Later, examining the flagpole in HS 4979 (John: Enter Village) references the selfsame flammability. This gag does end up as a Funny Aneurysm, however, HS 6006 (shortly before the end Act 5 Act 2).
 * Butler island: Dave was served HS 003293 (like a dude on butler island) during his strife with Bro. Sollux later predicts that he will get 'hii22 a22 2erved to hiim twofold', HS 003982 (liike two dude2 on doublebutler ii2land). Later, Dave becomes like a dude on butler island; HS 005315 (i mean, a dude who happens to be one of the butlers), since he became the server player for both Rose and Jade. Also, Jake worries that HS 6148 (he might get served like a dude on butler island if he lets his guard down).
 * Taking a legendary infinite X. As seen with D??? Strider taking a legendary 'infinite' shower. And Jane hoping that Dad is having one of his legendary infinite carwashes.
 * Destroying time-related devices: Spades Slick spends much of the Midnight Crew Intermission breaking the 1000 clocks in mansion. He later destroys 's clock, marking a total of HS 5761 (1001/1000 clocks destroyed). Arguably, this is paralleled by Jack Noir, who upon arrival in the Trolls' session fights a thousand-strong army of doomed timeline Aradiabots. Since they are robots of the Maid of Time, they are feasibly describable as "time-related devices". In other words, 1000/1000 Aradiabots Destroyed. Then the alpha Aradiabot blows up – in a sense also destroyed by Jack, as it's caused by Aradia's ascension when he destroys the Trolls' Derse – making it 1001/1000.
 * Make-believe time is over: Difficulty with coping with (or rather accepting) the death of a cherished one, repeated throughout the story in a HS 4370 (very) HS 5250 (similar) HS 5288 (pattern.)

Midnight Crew Intermission

 * Backup clothing: in the Midnight Crew Intermission, the Midnight Crew have backup hats, and has a backup CAIRO OVERCOAT.
 * Destroying clocks: See above.