Paradox Space


 * For the reality in which Homestuck takes place, see paradox space.

, often abbreviated as PXS, is a sister project to MS Paint Adventures that was launched on April 13, 2014, to celebrate Homestuck's fifth anniversary. The site will feature many comics that detail unseen events in paradox space and hypothetical "what if?" scenarios. The canonicity of Paradox Space comics has been addressed by Hussie as follows: "For any given story, it is either "Definitely Not Canon" or "Possibly Canon". But no story should ever be regarded as "Definitely Canon", unless Homestuck itself confirms those events retroactively in some manner"

- Andrew Hussie

The launch of Paradox Space boasted six pages in one day, and the subsequent standard schedule has been set as one page per weekday. As of occasional "2X UPDATE COMBO WEEKS" will occasionally occur, wherein there will be two pages every weekday, with the two pages going up at different times.

As of 5/16/2014, Paradox Space uses a to give credit to the artists and writers, as well as to categorize story pages and make yet more side jokes that could not be covered with alt text.

Stories
John wakes up on the morning of his thirteenth birthday, goes about his daily morning routine, and accidentally steps in a cake his dad had just left outside the door of the bathroom. John blows out the candles, reminiscent of his Breath powers. The Paradox Space title drop is then shown. Gamzee throws a JUGGALICIOUS TALENT CARNIVAL, encouraging the severed heads of his dead friends to impress him, with gold star stickers (AKA "glitter biscuits" and "pointy-ass glam badges") as motivation. Tavros wins, obviously, thanks to his impressive personal talents. John is celebrating his birthday at a zoo, and he approaches Dave with concerns about monkey-on-monkey violence. Dave berates him for thinking of the most non-random "random thing" possible. It then turns out that John was telling the truth. John captchalogues two fanciful harlequins, sending glass shards flying at his birthday present. Unlike in the HS 2083 (alpha timeline), John then captchalogues a third harlequin, sending the PDA flying and knocking off the harlequin's other arm. As a result, whenever Jack Noir tries to put on the Black Queen's Ring, both of his arms disappear and the ring falls off immediately afterwards. Realizing that they're in a doomed timeline, the kids decide to go watch a movie. Becquerel teleports around the world and fetches a number of balls and other sports equipment, which he brings back to Jade's house. After completing his sports pile, Bec goes upstairs and falls asleep next to Jade; oblivious to his activities, she calls him lazy. Vriska and Eridan engage in a game of Flarp aboard their respective vessels. To board Eridan's ship, Vriska rolls a very lucky number 20 on her dice roll. Eridan is not as fortunate and rolls a 1 in return, summoning a "critical whale." The whale starts putting Eridan down, which distracts him. Vriska uses this opportunity to make a quick move, which Eridan seems to think may have been a cheating one. She then demands he hand over his slaves, which are revealed to be real live lowbloods playing the role of slaves on Eridan's ship. Vriska apparently plans to feed them to her lusus. Eridan misinterprets Vriska's powergaming attitude as caliginous flirting, and offers to play along in exchange for a hatesnog, Vriska is shocked, disgusted and infuriated, attacking Eridan with the Fluorite Octet and destroying his ship, leaving him floating on a chunk piece of the hull while the whale continues to chastize him. At the Teen Con Air Finals, a contest to see which teens can best reenact the ending of Con Air, John is excited to be a competitor. Karkat is not happy to be there, complaining about having to watch the same "godawful" scene so many times, but Roxy and Terezi mock his disdain. After completing her act, Vriska arrives backstage and shoves John into Karkat, claiming that no one will be able to beat her. John scoffs at her bragging, saying that he and Roxy will win because they have true love of the movie. Roxy admits she's never seen it, then reassures him by saying she'll wing it. The pair go on, and Terezi encourages them by saying "BREAK YOUR LEGS, GUYS! BREAK ALL OF THEM!!!" As John recites all of his character's lines verbatim without breaking character, Roxy becomes gradually more embarrassed and self conscious about her improvisation attempts. Before this progression comes to a head, John abruptly stands up, realizing he missed a line, and cries while embracing Roxy. The two leave the stage and he cheerily asks Karkat and Terezi how they did, and in response the two exchange offput glances before Karkat loudly informs John that "IT WAS CRAP!!!!!" Roxy is hopeful that this means she and John will win best comedy performance, but Terezi dashes their hopes by pointing out that nobody was laughing. Wayward Vagabond is revealed to be the judge, and he awards the grand prize of the house cup and an autographed soundtrack CD to the "evil team": Vriska, Caliborn, Lil Cal, and Lil Seb, for having the most technically accurate portrayal. WV then abruptly takes back the prize and awards the "stupid team" (John, Roxy, and Casey) an additional six billion points for their pure-hearted love of Con Air, making them the new winners of the grand prize. Two Dersites are trying to work on an article for "The Enquiring Carapacian", but nothing had happened that day. They suggest a number of weak stories, and begin to panic as they've clearly run out of ideas. Just as they've given up, a fiery beam appears in the sky above and destroys Derse's moon. Once they realize what has happened, the two Dersite journalists begin to celebrate because they finally have a news story to write about. A sequel to "A Fun Day for Bec." God Cat teleports around the world, hunting and killing a number of animals. Jane gets home from school to find GCat resting ontop of a lump on her bed, which she discovers is a pile of the animals GCat killed (as well as a potted cactus, a snowman and some potatoes). Dad and John are on a shopping trip, and John has become extremely bored after spending five hours at the HS 5305 (Dadly Depot). John asks if he can borrow Dad's PDA, claiming that he wants to look up nose hair trimmer prices online, and when he gets it he boots up Pesterchum and asks Dave to help him. Dave calls John's situation a "bogus dad crisis" and expresses jealousy of taking trips to the Dadly Depot, as his Bro (who is clearly not his father) only takes him to brajstop. Dave goes on to describe the typical brajstop store to John, which includes many Bro-related items. Dave then remarks that Bro always left him in the ball pit room - except there weren't any balls in there. Dave elaborates that Bro left him in a concrete pit in the floor, where Dave would lie alone with his thoughts, making "bored noises". He claims it builds character, in theory, and suggests John's Dad might be trying to do a similar thing by bringing John to the Dadly Depot. After Dave excuses himself from the conversation by stating that the beats won't drop themselves, John Runs up to Dad and tells him that the nose hair trimmer is a steal. As Dad is loading his NOSE WIZARD into the cart John, asks if he could have one too, and Dad grabs him the nose wiz jr! Parcel Mistress is collecting a package on LOWAS. The salamander asks for a gear in exchange for it, so she makes her way to LOHAC. Once she finds what she is looking for, she helps to roll it off the tail of a crocodile. She inquires as to whether she can take the gear, and the crocodiles first demand an ice cube (containing a flower within) from LOFAF for the injured one's tail. Once on LOFAF, she sees a local iguana try to obtain one of said ice cubes and fail, falling over. She asks if she can take one of the ice cubes, but the iguana request a jar of sand from LOLAR from her. She arrives on the planet, asking some nearby turtles for a jar of sand, but they appear to be preoccupied with worry, fear, or confusion. They are next seen shaking martinis on the engraved tablet ordering PM to fetch the gear, while she runs off in the background with a jar of sand. She brings this sand to LOFAF to ease the slippery ice slope for the iguana, brings the ice to LOHAC for the crocodile's tail, and brings the gear to LOWAS, where the salamander has used it as a planter. PM then delivers the box to the White Queen, who opens it and hands it to PM, the gift being a brand new golden mail bag with a thank you note attached to it. Sweet Bro is swimming in the ocean, engage in all its deep, mind-rending, third-eye-opening wonders. After he has had his fill of taking in the deepest secrets of the universe, he opens a clam on the ocean floor, intending to claim its pearl for himself. It opens up to reveal Hella Jeff waiting inside, who reveals he robbed the clam first. What he did with the pearl is currently unknown. We may never know. Nepeta is showing Equius how to hunt on LOLCAT. She jumps playfully into the air at an imp before kicking it very hard in the face. The imps are all visibly frightened, as they should be. Nepeta then calls back telling Equius it's his turn. He starts charging an underling who looks very frightened. As it is launched into the distance and blown up by a punch from Equius, Nepeta suggests keeping the prey near them next time. Sweet Bro is skateboarding and puts one foot off the board to push off and give himself more speed. As he does so, his leg gets caught in one of the wheels; alarmed, he looks behind him and sees that his leg has been stretched out to ludicrous lengths. He then slowly turns his head back around. Jane attempts to find out who has eaten her sandwich and begins a detailed investigation, examining the plate with a magnifying glass, collecting crumbs as evidence, surrounding the "crime scene" with police tape and interrogating GCat. Dirk then walks over and admits that he felt guiltier about eating Jane's sandwich before she started playing detective. A few consorts from each planet sit in a circle on the balcony of Rose's house on LOLAR, tired and bored. A turtle and crocodile mention Rose and Dave respectively, and their attention is grabbed when another turtles runs into the scene, tripping and dropping the book it was carrying, which appears to be a guide for throwing tea parties. Intrigued, they all set to work: a crocodile lays out the blanket, a salamander carries in various teapots and tea products (including a teapot resembling those from LOLCAT), another crocodile starts a fire, and a turtle collects some water. They lay out the tea set according to a diagram, including Void coasters, a grists coaster, and a teapot with all the aspect symbols on it. Once they finish setting up a group of underlings appear. The consorts are understandably afraid, but the underlings seem taken aback by this. One of the iguanas asks if they are going to die, and the lich among the group assures them this is not the case. Instead, they immediately grab some cups, sit down, and join the tea party. Two Crocodiles are discussing the viability of a company on the LOHAC Stock Exchange, but are cut off by the bell signifying the market is open for trading. Just as suddenly as it opens, it closes again; when the dust settles from all the frantic buying and selling, we see one of them has lost their shirt. They then muse about how fortunate it is that they didn't end up like Dave, who is crying about being boiled in a cauldron with onions, carrots and peppers. The Sufferer answers questions from members of an assembled crowd while the Disciple and Ψiionic cheer him on. He explains that one cannot jokingly "do a genocide" and that the Condesce forcing her subjects to prostrate themselves before her image does not make her a good leader. Another member of the audience - an indigo-blooded troll wearing a beaglepuss - asks how susceptible the Sufferer's faction is to infiltration, poorly concealing his own status as an imperial spy. Signless is bombarded with questions about his sign and blood color, prompting the Ψiioniic to flip out and attack the crowd with his psionic powers. While the Disciple calms him down, the Sufferer proposes a five minute for snacks, claiming that his mother made cookies. The Ψiioniic is put into time out and the Disciple comforts the Signless. Sweet Bro is playing with a toy pony when Hella Jeff notices him and asks if he likes ponies. Increasingly excited, Hella Jeff exclaims that he also likes ponies and quickly dons a pantomime horse costume, noting that he has needed a second person to be the "ass" for a long time, and asks his "pony bro" Sweet Bro to get inside. Sweet Bro sighs and says that the correct term for "pony bros" is bronies; Hella Jeff briefly pauses before furiously demanding that Sweet Bro "GET THE FUCK IN THIS ASS." The comic starts off with Rose playing as Jaspers's psychologist, back when she was a little kid. Jaspers's head becomes layered above the speech bubbles, implying that he is not paying attention/has no idea what Rose is saying. This is re-enforced by the next panel, where the text turns into meaningless shapes and symbols. Nonetheless, Jaspers is very happy just to be with Rose, and so the comic ends. Equius begins trolling Sollux, asking for help. Sollux refuses, but Equius convinces Sollux to help him by stating that the refusal would force him to rely on Karkat. Sollux asks Equius what exactly he broke, but it turns out that he has broken nothing, and attempting to break anything makes the situation worse. The viewport shows him tangled up in various cords and wires. Sollux makes it clear that he cannot program anything to help him out of physical problems. Equius keeps demanding help, so Sollux hacks into the robots around Equius, and sets them to kill mode. Equius fights them off, losing the wires, some teeth, and one of his horns in the process. John's arm is seen in the robo-crowd, likely due to it's travel through canonspace. Equius thanks Sollux for his help, and has his Lusus provide a glass of milk. The glass shatters in Equius's hand and he hisses. welcomes the reader to his house, stating he would offer candy if the treats were not preoccupied. He points out that the Handmaid, is organizing the cache to keep the treats in constant supply. He asks if she is on schedule, She gets angry, as she is pretty much forced to work there, and isn't getting much thanks. She draws a penis on his "face" and he states that fortunately, he does not make permanent marker available to her. She is tied to a chair, probably as punishment. Berrybreath is a scalemate detective for hire, but it would seem that lately business has been slow, however Liason Pumpkinsnuffle comes in on behalf of Senator Lemonsnout to hire Berrybreath to investigate the murder of the senators wife, Professor Pucefoot ruled the death an accident but the senator suspects foul play, Doctor Honeytongue, a former military medic and forensic expert, makes it clear he thinks the senator did it. Naturally Berrybreath takes the case, first they visit Pucefoot who confirms that in his expert opinion the death was accidental, but Honeytonge remains convinced that the senator killed his wife and paid off Pucefoot. Berrybreath next visits Duke Pinesnort who admits to having had relations with the senator's wife. He then goes to confront the senator at his hive, the senator greets them with a bag filled with beetles and congratulates Berrybreath for solving the case and inquired if Pinesnort was behind it, and then Berrybreath finds Lemonsnouts insurance policy, it reads: one accidental death good for 2 huge bags of insurance beetles, the senator insists the bag is unrelated but Berrybreath is reaching for his nooses to hang all of them. and in a surprise twist this is actually all just Dave and Terezi playing in Can Town with the mayor while riding the meteor to the new session. Dream Rose visits Dream Jade in her room and examines one of Jade's manthro chaps. Rose makes a comment about rarely seeing them outside of pornography. Jade then begins showing Rose around on Prospit. First they pass a couple of Skaian clouds - that may or may not have been visible to Rose as a Derse Dreamer, showing John and Dave getting up to shenanigans. Then they walk among the Prospitians, and while Rose is not sure about whether or not she is correctly dressed, Jade quickly assures her that she is. After this, they encounter the Parcel Mistress who hugs both of them. Unlike Jade, Rose doesn't believe the hug was sincere and tries to find a hidden motive where there is none. Jade then suggests that Rose shows her around on Derse instead. On Derse, Rose shows Jade a Dersite book titled: "How to get ahead in business by STABBING." Jade makes a comment about the lack of light, leading Rose to assure her that it's all part of the mood. Later, when playing the Dersites' version of the game "snap," Jade calls out a player on cheating. Rose absconds out of the room with Jade, and tries to explain to her that that's how the game is meant to be played. The two then proceed to argue about the "stupidity" of each other's planets. They both calm down and agree to disagree. Jade asks Rose about the "niche pornography" Rose says to "ask Dave about that one." A drunk Rose walks into the main computer lab on the meteor, while Kanaya is knitting a shirt. She reveals that she has brought a couple of romance textbooks for them to study and shows one of them, titled "Her Pale Passions". Kanaya examines the cover of the book and looks at the inside, seeing notes made by Karkat. She realizes that Rose took these books from Karkat. At the same time, Karkat notices that a lot of his romance books, which were alphabetized by quadrant, have gone missing and finds a note made by Rose. He flips out at this revelation. The Mayor of Can Town is putting some finishing touches on one of the town's buildings. The Aimless Renegade walks into the room, in need of food. He stomps through the town, trying to select a can to eat from. Serenity (as a citizen of Can Town) watches in horror, considering AR to be a Godzilla-esque beast. AR steals a can from the bottom of a skyscraper, causing the whole thing to collapse, much to the dismay of the Wayward Vagabond (Mayor). WV yells at the AR for destroying the structure. AR kicks one of the cans on the ground in response. Serenity is again terrified, seeing it as another destroyed building. It also upsets WV, this time to the point of storming out and informing the Peregrine Mendicant of the situation. She looks intimidatingly at AR. During a chase scene with PM angrily after AR, and WV worriedly after PM, Serenity surveys the damage of Can Town as the Windswept Questant appears and begins rebuilding, Serenity comparing her to some sort of goddess. Equius is waiting in front of a museum for his robots to bring Karkat and Terezi there. When they are dropped there, he greets them. Equius thanks them for accepting his invitation. Karkat remarks that they were not so much invited as kidnapped. Terezi smells a very large musclebeast statue, and Equius welcomes them both to the Fle%tropolitan Nudeseum. Inside the Nudeseum, Equius explains how great it is, and that he has no one to share it with. He also states that he has chosen the lowbloods because they are obligated to comply to his wishes, and therefore cannot refuse sharing this with him. Terezi tries to convince Karkat to stay, but he still refuses. Terezi remains high-spirited until Equius mentions that the building is on lockdown, causing Karkat to foam at the mouth. Terezi proposes that they destroy property until Equius forces them to leave. Karkat decides to just get it over with. He dives headfirst into the museum, hoping to "DROWN IN A PUDDLE OF 'ART!'" Equius shows them throughout the various sections of the Nudeseum, Terezi messes with property, and Karkat barely keeps his sanity. With Karkat close to losing it, Terezi complains about not getting kicked out yet. Equius explains that the reason for this is that neither of them appreciate the art so far. He decides to settle it by showing them an art piece that he had reserved for the highbloods: an actual lusus sealed in a block of its own frozen sweat. Terezi snaps and decides that breaking the ice is a good revenge scheme. Equius protests against it. The beast is predictably still alive once the "ice" is broken, and it roars. Equius hisses at it while Karkat and Terezi escape through the clearly unlocked doors. The beast tackles Equius, and they both land outside near Karkat and Terezi. The beast drools on Equius, and ends up breaking his horn. Equius demands a towel, but instead, Karkat and Terezi walk away from Equius and the beast. Equius bans them permanently from the Nudeseum, which is a deal Karkat and Terezi are happy with. Terezi has set up a role-playing game, implied to be Dungeons and Dragons, with Karkat, Rose, Kanaya, Dave, and WV. Karkat complains from the outset, apparently annoyed by the fact that they will literally be in a dungeon, literally encountering dragons. Terezi, being the game master, refutes Karkat's complaints, which prompts him to question who made her game master. Meanwhile, WV goes around offering snacks to everyone, to no avail. Rose cites Terezi's role-playing experience for making her the logical choice. Kanaya comments on having read the whole rulebook, while Dave remarks he thought they would figure it out as they played. Everyone agrees a dungeon is a rather droll setting, and Terezi changes it to the belly of a dragon. Karkat continues to complain, namely on Dave "stealing" his title of knight, Kanaya offers a way for them both to be knights, which he refuses, and Terezi shuts him up, telling him to use the backup character sheet she prepared. Dave is a neutral good dwarven knight, Karkat is a "TRU3 N3UTR4L H4LF-UND34D H4LF-UN34T3N CR4B S4NDW1CH" (Karkat is about to complain, but bites his tongue), Rose is a chaotic evil human wizard (NOT4BLY M4L3), and Kanaya is a lawful good demon temptress from the underworld. Terezi protests, saying she can't have that kind of combination at the start. Rose then starts implying a thickly romantic plot thread that involves her character charming Kanaya's and showing her the ways of goodness. Karkat and Terezi, both thoroughly sickened, vote to start the game already. After an awkward moment of silence, Dave suggests alchemizing pizza and watching a movie instead. Everyone eagerly agrees, leaving Terezi behind without a second thought. WV places the bowl of food on Terezi's head and also leaves. Casey appears to be dreaming about serving Rose and joining her to the Sanctum. As Rose magically makes a door lock appear on the entrance to the Sanctum, she warns Casey about her upcoming battle with the "White Wizard", a cunning dastard. She wants that Casey escapes in case she were to fail. Casey objects, but Rose stops her. Casey eventually agrees, and they enter the Sanctum as Rose opens it. In this room there are 12 pillars, including a big one with a cueball on top. The White Wizard appears, turning out to be Doc Scratch with white hair, a long white beard, a huge black coat, and a long black wand (which can emit Green Sun-like energy). He challenges her while Rose asks Casey for her wands. Then the two of them begin dueling. When Doc Scratch is about to win, Rose turns grimdark and breaks free from his grasp. But Casey points out to her that Doc Scratch has disappeared. The place crumbles apart, and Rose falls down. Doc Scratch is about to finish her, when Casey comes and hits him on the head, consequentially breaking it. Casey then runs over to Rose, who is at least mildly injured. Casey then wakes up from their dream, next to a statue of Rose on LOMAX that the local skeleton consorts are building. The last words from the dream linger over the scene, "...I told you you could do it." Looking upon his chessboard, asks whether a being like himself can truly enjoy playing a game when he already knows the outcome and emphatically states that he can, just as knowing all the steps of a dance does not make the act of dancing less enjoyable. He then snaps his fingers, teleporting the chessboard next to the opponent he has selected for himself: Andrew Hussie. teleports he chessboard back to him, only to find out that Andrew has replaced all of his chess pieces with horses. Dumbfounded, moves one of his pieces. When he gets the board back, he finds that Andrew has replaced all of 's pieces with horses as well. tries to find out what Andrew is planning. Upon closer inspection, the horses are not all knights, but appear to simply be a horse-themed chess set. is getting worked up over the perceived jab at his omniscience, while Hussie is calling the company he ordered the (apparent) horse head busts from for a refund. makes a move, and Andrew sees the chess board return as he, Horuss Zahhak and Rufioh Nitram walk in with "Breakfast for Dinner" dinner. Andrew removes all the chess pieces from the board and places his meal on it. retrieves the chess board, with Andrew's meal on it, and completely overanalyzes the gesture, believing the egg to signify Andrew "being inside of 's head". Meanwhile Andrew wonders where his meal went, as Rufioh and Horuss eat theirs. then interprets the waffle as being a grid to play on, so he uses it as a chess board as and  look on, worried. Hussie then wakes up to find his "Breakfast for Dinner" appearing next to him, in a complete mess. then declares Checkmate against Hussie, saying that "There is no move, no trick that can defeat me, for every possible version of the game exists conciously at all times within my all-powerful mind!". He then sees that Hussie has managed to manuever the pieces into an alignment that spells "HORS". contemplates this while Hussie winks at the reader. Terezi and Kanaya are talking in a Dream bubble memory of Rose's room. Terezi has apparently come to Kanaya for help on the intricacies of human culture, as when Terezi asked Dave, he immediately kicked her out of his room after she licked a smuppet. Terezi asks if Rose is okay with this, to which Kanaya responds that Rose doesn't care as she views the room as soiled anyways at this point from all the troll voyeurism. Kanaya begins to explain the culture, using Rose's Wizardy Herbert posters as an example, but Terezi appears uninterested. While snooping, Terezi finds the Lalonde Family scrapbook, which the two of them read through. Kanaya believes, and thus explains, that Rose's violent tendencies growing up were actually just her thriving in trials, not unlike those found in the brooding caverns. Kanaya also finds Rose's violin, which she believes to be a torture device, which Rose used as a musical instrument through human magic. Kanaya demonstrates how Rose would play it, likely playing quite poorly, as Terezi compliments her not on her musical capabilities, but torturing prowess. Rose begins messaging Jade, telling her about what sounds like an RPG she would like to play with Jade, John, and Dave. Meanwhile, Jade is getting ready to go explore her island while talking to Rose. Becquerel sees her get up and blocks her path through the doorway. Jade successfully distracts him, and makes her way to a boulder next to a river, with a flower atop it. Becquerel catches up with Jade and trips her. Sick of Becquerel getting in her way, she asks Rose to throw a ball of yarn out of her window as hard as she can. She does so, and Bec apparently notices, as he teleports all the way to Rose's house to fetch the yarn ball. Jade successfully climbs the boulder and plucks a glowing seed from it, and Bec returns home. The comic starts off with a number of admirable twists of convention: In contrast with the actual title of the comic in the url, a slightly alternate title is given to the comic within the page itself: "the thsrit of doarnion gay (A CHILLING TAIL OF WOE)". Indeed, the author even appears to have taken the whimsical step of misspelling the word "tale", as in story, with its homonym "tail", or the extended spinal appendage that protrudes from certain animals' posteriors. The title is a reference to The Picture of Dorian Gray, which is indeed a tale of woe in itself: Dorian sells his soul such that a self-portrait he had made of himself will fade, instead of his own body aging. And it does, reflecting his continual corruption. On top of this, the artist provides a callback, or visual parallel, to the earlier comic, with the flea market setting. Focusing in on the characters, Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff appear to have added to the list of humorous inconsistencies by swapping traditional shirt colors. Sweet Bro is airbrushing a dope as shrit for Hella Jeff, as Hella Jeff exclaims how excited he is to "party with [his] bros tonight". He demands to see the shirt, and is impressed with Sweet Bro's work, which is a picture of Hella Jeff himself. This bodes ominously for Hella Jeff, given the plot of the book which this comic alludes to. This is followed by Jeff lampshading the plot of the book, playing it off as a flippantly hypothetical possibility, that he could party forever, and the likeness of himself on his shirt would age instead of him. This would be dope, he ventures. Sweet Bro then ominously warns Jeff to be careful what he wishes for, but Jeff was already gone. Sweet Bro is left alone to his thoughts, like always, like the many years he spent by himself. Next, we see Jeff at the nearby partpy, ostensibly having quite the good time. He exclaims his desire to "keep this frieking thing going forever", and after forever goes by, he is seen partying in the room alone, the walls destroyed, three skeletons nearby. Presumably, these are the corpses of the fellow partygoers, and he kept them there for the remainder of their lives. The image of himself on the shirt has grown old, gray, distorted, and downright frightening. Jeff notes that he is still alive, despite everyone else being dead. He deems this to be "good". Jeff prepares himself to set out on the spiritual quest of finding "someone new and not dead who will party." Upon turning his frame of view towards the outside of the house, he immediately spots the precious, beautiful, blue green eyed gray squirrel we all know and love. Deeming the squirrel "DTP", or "down to party",he begins to climb out the window. Unfortunately for our protagonist, an upward facing nail was within the frame of the windowsill, unbeknownst to him. it causes the shirt to be ripped right down the center as he climbs over the nail, and blood droplets are seen. It is unclear if these came from Jeff or the shirt itself, as his red undershirt did not appear to be breached. On the final page, Jeff is shown torn in two on the ground, gray and mangled like his shirt's image had been, and torn in half down his center. The shirt has fully recovered, no longer being torn, and also with the image the same as when Sweet Bro had originally airbrushed it, all those countless eons ago... This may be reminiscent of the cyclical nature of life. The squirrel notices the shirt, dons it for itself, and propels itself away on its own flatulence. Sweet Bro's ghost, large and dust cloud like for some reason, exclaims loudly, stating the obvious. The comic questions whether the story has ended, although it has. It should be noted, it's unknown whether the squirrel can make use of the shirt, given it bears the visage, not of the squirrel, but of Hella Jeff. However, the shirt's reformed nature would seem to imply that it is indeed meant to function anew. Eridan is running around his planet fighting angels. As he aims at one particular target (with the Ahab's Crosshairs, of course), just about to fire, Gamzee's horns appear very close to him in his crosshairs. Eridan pushes him aside, unamused. He asks why Gamzee is here, and he cites gate travel mix-ups as the reason. Eridan yells at him, and as he attempts to aim at the angel again, he notices it is gone, and it dives at them. After Eridan expertly kills it with the rifle, Gamzee begins a discussion with him, questioning why he's so fixated on romantic relationships. Gamzee remains oblivious and optimistic. Eridan begins an impassioned speech about how the military history of his lineage is representative of his current degree of romantic passion. Gamzee offers him a sopor slime pie to chill out. After vehemently refusing the pie, Eridan kicks Gamzee out of his land through a gate. Immediately after Gamzee is gone, Eridan remarks how rude it was that Gamzee didn't make more of an effort to stay later. The Dolorosa happens upon the Signless, pondering how hard raising a child could possibly be if brainless monsters do it all the time. The young Signless almost immediately gets snatched away by a crocodile-like creature. The Dolorosa kills the crocodile and keeps moving forward, carrying the Signless. She hears a rustle in the grass, and the Signless gets snatched away by a lion creature, much like Nepeta's lusus. The Dolorosa kills the beast, as before. Walking further, The Dolorosa is now visibly paranoid and on guard, brandishing a hacksaw. A massive bird swoops down and takes Signless away. The Dolorosa climbs a pine tree, pulling it down to the ground, and releasing it so it acts as a catapult for its coconuts. The coconut hits the bird square in the gut, and it understandably drops the Signless. Praying for a soft landing, the Dolorosa runs after him to the spot where he's going to land, which happens to be a rhino-drawn cart. The passengers, a greenblood and blueblood troll, notice the young Signless and discuss how they could possibly sell him, possibly to paint mixers or food processors, for a large sum of money. Seeing this, the Dolorosa engages Rainbow Drinker mode. Next thing we see, the Dolorosa is walking away from the burning wreckage of the cart. She remarks how the Signless is more trouble than he's worth, and also notes that he has used her arm as a load gaper. Terezi barges into a room on the meteor during the three year void trip, where everyone (sans Gamzee) is gathered. She complains about the trash building up, while Dave expresses disinterest in the matter. After she remarks that his shoelaces are untied, she places her finger on her nose. Everyone else follows suit as Dave investigates the claim, and by the time he turns around everyone has done the same except for Dave, and he begrudgingly accepts his duty. Dave carries the mounds of garbage to the roof where he throws them out into the void, and they hit an approaching Jack Noir in the face. Dualscar is attempting to tell jokes in an Alternian comedy establishment known as the (S)LAUGHTER HIVE. The walls are covered in the blood of several trolls. As he tells a series of bad jokes, Redglare and GHB look on unamused. Several audience members express distaste with his attempts at being funny. In the last panel, he is knelt down over a chopping block, crying, while a tealblooded executioner readies his axe and GHB sits on his throne in the background, looking pleased. Set in a typical Japanese classroom, the students are mourning the recent death of Damara Megido. Kankri begins complaining about the mourning, arguing that it should serve as an example for abiding by the rules, until Latuna shuts him up. Damara herself walks in immediately afterwards, hair down, apologizing for being late. In the back of the classroom, Horuss and Cronus Ampora remark on how strange it is, ignoring Porrim's suggestion that it's a natural function of her blood caste. In the front, Rufioh greets her and is rejected, after which Meulin and Kurloz also welcome her back. After class, Cronus chases after Damara, who has taken her own memorial picture frame and left a flower behind. She talks in short phrases, only saying "SURE." and "NO." Cronus does remark that she has lost her accent, however. She insists that she is the real Damara, and they head towards the very enbankment where she died. Damara then recounts her accident as they stand on the enbankment: Cronus was apparently propositioning her, and when she refused and pushed away from him, she fell. Cronus gets angry, saying it wasn't his fault, that she can't prove it, as they stand on the edge. Damara falls once more, and her horn and picture frame are both shown broken. The next day, she comes into class again, just as fine as she was before. Cronus, understandably shocked, inquires "Wvhat the hell are you?" Damara responds matter-of-factly that she is Damara, as Kankri launches into yet another tangentially relevant rant in the background. Damara writes out a cheery-looking note telling Cronus to meet her after school. When they arrive at the enbankment once more, Damara picks up her hair pin from its edge and finally puts her hair back in its bun. Cronus threatens her, insists he can keep killing her if he has to. Kurloz and Meulin sneak up behind Cronus and restrain him, and Damara explains what is going on. She explains to him that he doomed his timeline when he killed her the first time, that only she knows the one true timeline, that only she knows when and where they really die. Dirk and Jake are chatting online as Jake explores the jungle. They proceed to have a drawn-out discussion stemming from Dirk being caught off guard when Jake uses the term "boner" in the context of its far outdated definition. Meanwhile, Jake had run into a ram lusus, which he outran by dashing off the edge of a cliff, miraculously saved from the great fall by a giant flower. Jake, after a moment of thought, concludes that Dirk is pulling his leg about the term being outdated, and Dirk concedes defeat in the conversation. is seen strutting through the hallways of the Felt Manor. He launches into a noir-style monologue outlining his leadership burdens and responsibilities, and his general distaste for time travel. He notes that he's third in command, technically, after and. Currently, has been ordered by  to round up all the members of  for a meeting. He first comes across, whom he relays the order to. begins a slow-motion remark, so leaves the room, as waiting for  would take too long. As he leaves, a temporally distinct (presumably future) version of himself arrives, with in tow, who appears to have been hit in the head. After the future is informed that  has nowhere near finished his sentence, the two s proceed in their respective directions,  still with the future one. Our current then knocks on a door and enters hastily to find  and  engaging in activities which are frankly too lewd to even describe, activities which  is apparently found doing quite frequently. After some initial awkwardness, informs them of the meeting. tags along eagerly, but decides to be stubborn. He pulls out a 10,000 piece horse puzzle and sets to work on it, deliberately putting the wrong pieces together and not using his speed powers, all with the intention of spiting, who leaves, frustrated. then makes his way to, who quickly agrees to join the meeting as soon as he's done stitching an effigy belonging to. Next, breaks into 's room across the hall and finds  inside, surrounded by chickens. Naturally, wonders aloud what is going on. won't explain louder than a mumble, and won't let go of a certain chicken. This irritates, and the two begin threatening each other with their respective Jujus. instructs to "make  listen to reason.", so  points his gun at 's head, and  drops his Juju. has to intervene to make to stop the new jig he has engaged in, and  follows the two of them at gunpoint. makes his way to the game room. Inside, 🇫🇮 and, who appears to be on good terms with, are playing a friendly game of table stickball. In the back corner,, who has apparently finished the puzzle and abandoned his ploy, is playing a game of cards with , whose name he has forgotten. tells to "keep with the times, old man", ignoring 's valid point that  is technically the absolute oldest member of the group. mumbles awkwardly in the background, under the impression mentioned something about a chicken. informs everyone that there's a meeting in the study and interrupts yet another jig by. 🇫🇮 and argue that it's bad form to leave in the middle of a game of table stickball. acknowledges this but again cites the importance of the meeting, and asks 🇫🇮 to check everyone's future trails to see that they leave immediately; it appears that they all do. They all move down the hallway and nearly run into, who asks where the fire is. Literally. Fire safety is everyone's business. He joins the party, and as turns to keep walking, he immediately runs into, who joins the party as well. walks into the lounge, where he finds. He bashfully tries to get her to join before she vanishes. Next, leads the posse into a room where  and  are goofing off as usual,  having a noticeable wound on his forehead. blurts out not to look under the new large tarp in the corner, which the rest of take note of, but  frankly doesn't care. and reveal the rest of their time-duplicates are in the oven, which  tries to open after  uses a poor choice of phrase. hits in the head to prevent him from opening it. The thing is, jumps to a random point in time when injured, and as expected, this pair ends up being the previously seen future  and,  having acquired the head injury from. They quickly move past their predestined interaction with past and head to 's room to pick him up. As he's still talking, needs to find a way to speed him up. So, he reaches into his pocket, claiming he's about to take matters into "hands belonging to some grunt [he gets] paid to boss around." He then pulls out a bell with a maroon and white pattern with the number 15 on it, and rings it. then bursts through the wall Kool-Aid Man style. , fittingly, says "Oh yeah." carries over his shoulder at 's instruction, and the four leave the room through the hole. They find and  playing with a clock, which, startled by 's group's entrance, accidentally drops on 's head. threatens them to keep them quiet, and the four hide under the tarp in the corner of the room as 's past/current self and his crew walk into the room to encounter and. Current/future removes the tarp once past/current  and  disappear. At this point, all of have been informed of the meeting. ponders how long it took, and carries out a dialogue with 's inner thoughts through the narration, then insists again that they come to his office at once. After all fifteen of them are gathered in his office, he begins to describe at length how they are all important to 's goals, how they came to be, and what their current mission is. hands a folder describing their mission: they are to meet with an anonymous courier at a precise time and address, retrieve a package from them, and return the package to. He tells to pick a team, which he does: all of the solid color members of, as he doubts they'll need any muscle on this mission. They all pile into the car and head off towards Midnight City. then goes on in the narration about how he remembers both this day and the day he was offed, how he remembers his first kiss, and how he remembers a man named Spades Slick. The story ends with the words "To be continued". The Trolls' meteor is passing through a dream bubble, with Dave and a Nepeta ghost drawing on the walls, when a ghost God tier Feferi comes to ask Kanaya for some advice on fashion; they exchange a few fish puns and Kanaya apparently agrees as she is soon following as Feferi explains about how she and Aradia were exploring some underwater ruins, and now her hair won't fit in her god tier hood. Kanaya agrees to help, and upon seeing the frizzled mess that is Aradia's hair, pulls out her chainsaw, presumably for an emergency haircut. Terezi is putting Officer Cinnamonwhiff on trial, mainly for BR1B3RY, as well as smuggling a weapon (via his belly) into the courtroom. The good officer seems confused by this, but Terezi corrects him by stabbing him in the stomach. Terezi then proceeds to condemn the entire jury for being accessories to the crime; A crime to which she finds them all guilty, and proceeds to graphically dismember them, throw them in a box, and call the mortician. The box, alongside a note, is sent to the mortician, who turns out to be Kanaya. Annoyed by this, she reads the back of the note, which tells her not to PR3T3ND L1KE [SHE DOESN'T] ENJOY 4 GOOD G4M3 OF DR3SS-UP. In response, she puts on a surgeon's outfit, and happily stitches the scalemates up for their Corpse Parties. Dave and WV enter the room. Rose says she has been keeping track of the days, and today is Christmas Eve! She tells Dave of her secret santa plans, and he complains that there's a chance that his will be Karkat. So they gather together with the trolls, and as Rose is explaining the tradition, Kanaya tells her about a similar tradition that trolls observed called secret sufferer; Kanaya explains that the tradition began in remembrance of the acts of Expatri8 who went against his duty and allowed the Disciple to continue the teachings of the Sufferer in secret, and for this the Expatri8 got exiled. However the Sufferers followers would send dangerous gifts to the highbloods as a reminder that the lessons of the Sufferer were still being taught. It later evolved into a yearly tradition of pity and hatred gifts to close friends and rivals respectively. Kanaya compares the yearly organization of the exchange as "Auspiticising On A Much Larger Scale." Karkat remarks that the best thing about their current circumstances is not having to deal with that anymore, citing one year when Vriska sent out a number of doomsday devices. All were faulty, except one, which killed the former thirteenth member of their group. Rose and Dave explain that it's similar, except without all the "grievous injury and poisonous bugs". Despite Karkat finding the idea of doing it to show appreciation for friendship lame, Terezi and Kanaya eagerly agree, as the meteor enters a dream bubble. Everyone is knocked off their feet, and they find themselves on a bright, beachy planet. Kanaya remarks that it's familiar, and Dave places (or perhaps, replaces) a second pair of shades on his face, as Meenah greets them, along with Mituna, Latula, Aranea, and Porrim. and then there is an intermission. when it returns to the dream bubble Kronus is using missile toe to try to convince Terezi and Latula to make out with him, Meenah ask's her why she had to bring up kissing traditions, and Dave asks her what she was doing with so much missile toe on the comet, it cuts away to her drunk and laying in a pile of missile toe holding one over her head and fantasizing about kissing Kanaya, she's talking about how she regrets that part of the traditions, saying that she will find a way to rectify it, immediately Dave shouts and the we see Damara covering him in lipstick, Rose comments that it was a bigger problem than she originally conceived. Later, we see Dave talking to Terezi and a few of the Dancestors about how to use christmas stockings. Kankri blows his whistle and tries to tell Dave that he's participating in cultural appropriation. Dave insists that since stockings are from his culture, and he wants them to have stockings, too, it's okay. Kankri still argues against it, until Dave offers a stocking to him. Kankri accepts the stocking and proceeds to babble about how wonderful the gifts inside are. Meanwhile in the background Horuss pulls out his stocking gift of the longest horse dildo ever. Later still, the meteor is exiting the dream bubble, much to the relief of Karkat. The two groups exchange goodbyes, and Dave begins telling Meenah about Valentines day before being elbowed by Rose. Some time after the meteor has exited, Karkat sees a present labeled with his name. Opening it, he is enraged to find a few dancestors inside, celebrating New Sweep. On the first page, Karkat is seen sending out an angry tirade to the other 11 B2 trolls, presumably in the past, stating that he's going to make sure Secret Sufferer is done right this year. All the packages end up at Karkat's house, fulfilling his suspicions that they would all somehow screw it up. He begins groaning about how he has to send them all out himself, when his lusus walks in the door and gives Karkat a behemoth shit, as he is grabbing gifts out of it he says that he cannot be the one to mess it up; so he gets to work sorting through gifts, all the tags are wiped off so he has to base where he sends the gifts on who he thinks made them. Each troll shows varying degrees of dissatisfaction, except Nepeta, who is delighted by her gift of cuttlefish (and possibly ready to eat them) and Gamzee, who got a bust of a troll Beethoven, zoning out while admiring it. Aradia recieves a bright yellow dress, which she finds to be to garish, Tavros receives a troll robot, and is terrified when it bursts out at him, Sollux gets a box of clown horns and complains that his headaches were already bad enough, Kanaya gets a box of spider silk, which she finds to be a horrible and disgusting gift, and Terezi gets a FLARP book, asking aloud 1S TH1S SOM3 K1ND OF 4 S1CK JOK3. Vriska got a set of shipping tablets, and thought it was simply 8oring. Equius got a set of throwing stars, and immediately broke the biggest in the package, and Eridan got a sparkly new cape, but still appears disappointed. Feferi gets chalk, and for some reason opened it up and let the colors bleed out of into the water around her. Then it goes back to Karkat on his computer, who remarks that he wants to wrap this ordeal up. Aradia messages Karkat telling him that he probably realized but their gifts did not make it to the right trolls, but that it was ok, because most of them were enjoying the gifts they got, she is using her dress to polish a sword she found durring a dig. Sollux's bicyclops custodian is eating the horns while Sollux sleeps soundly. Tavros is playing fituspawn with his robot, and appears to be winning. Nepeta and Catmom are relaxing and cleaning themselves, the cuttlefish implied to have been eaten. Kanaya is using the spider silk to make a dress. Terezi is writing H34DS on in her new books. Vriska clubbed a bronzeblood to death with her gift and brought them to Spidermom to feed her. Equius uses the throwing stars to make saw arms for his robot (who slices his horn off). Gamzee puts clown makeup on his bust and makes it pies. Eridan dresses a mirror in his cape and dates it. and Feferi uses her gift to make a sand box, where she plays with a shovel and bucket. The last panel shows Karkat blushing when Aradia tells despite the mix up it was the best secret sufferer that they've had. Calliope is Cheering Roxy to ask about the box she left outside, Roxy explains that it's a present, when Calliope is still confused Roxy explains to her what Presents are, and tells her that she gave her neighbors a pumpkin but when they open it up there is nothing inside. Calliope finds the concept of gift-giving odd, leaving Roxy to explain it further. Roxy says that sometimes one gives gifts just to be nice, and other times to get a gift back, like when she gave Jane a bunny wizaroo in exchange for some Crockercorp ray gun. Calliope then understands that there's a "catch." she then explains how she traded Complacency of the Learned with Dirk for one of his posters, and one of her frozen mutated cats with Jake for a really cool skull. Calliope then asks several more questions, only to discover that she was sleeping. Disappointed she looks across to Caliborns side of the room, which is littered with meat, pictures and 5 Lollipops she then gets an idea, and starts rummaging through her trunk, throwing paper, and candy out onto the floor (including 4 more lollipops) and is then seen holding a Captchalogue card containing a wrapped present, and then we see Caliborn wake up to discover it in his inventory. This is explained by their Juju modus: anything one sibling captchalogues appears in the other's inventory. Once he accesses it, he rips the paper off of the gift, proclaiming his disdain for the it. Within he finds a book entitled "Brother's Fan Art Book". He opens to the middle and finds an anime drawing of his. He looks up, angered somehow by his gift, and sees their chessboard set and ready for a game, with a note on the table from Calliope stating that she is ready to play again when he is. John and Jade are celebrating Christmas during their three-year trip, and argue over where to put their Christmas tree, the HS 5041 (Kringlefucker). John makes a case for the control room being the best place for it, due to the room's coziness and the ability to fire cannons from inside. Jade argues that the deck is the best place to put it, as the deck provides more visibility of the tree, and more space for everyone. Davesprite floats in and says that he believes he has a solution and that they should take it onto the deck for a moment, once there he has jade increase the trees size and pulls to the top of it into the control room upon receiving praise, Davesprite simply said if anyone knows what to do with a tree it's a bird yo recognize. We then see John resting under the tree tops cuddling with some consorts.
 * 1) "" (6 pages, story by Andrew Hussie, art by Zack Morrison) It is someone's birthday today.
 * 1) "" (3 pages, story and art by Jonathan Griffiths, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) A young troll holds a talent competition.
 * 1) "" (2 pages, story and art by KC Green) It is John's birthday. He went to the zoo.
 * 1) "" (7 pages, story and art by Zack Morrison, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) A young boy prototypes his kernelsprite.
 * 1) "" (2 pages, story by Rachel Rocklin, art by Matt Cummings, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) Bec has a fun day.
 * 1) "" (6 pages, story by Benito Cereno, art by Kristin Kemper, lettering by J.N. Wiedle.) Two trolls enjoy a friendly game.
 * 1) "" (9 pages, story and art by David McGuire, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) It's a talent show!
 * 1) "" (4 pages, story by Matt Boyd and art by Ian McConville) A newspaper tries to stay in business.
 * 1) "" (2 pages, story by Rachel Rocklin, art by Matt Cummings) GCat has a fun day.
 * 1) "" (8 pages, story by Andrew Hussie, art by Hanni Brosh, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) A father takes his son shopping.
 * 1) "" (7 pages, story by Phil Gibson, art by Evan Dahm) A parcel mistress fetches the mail.
 * 1) "" (1 page, story and art by KC Green) FUN in the SUMER SEA SUN
 * 1) "" (3 pages, story by Phil Gibson and art by Adrienne Garcia) A hunting lesson between two young trolls.
 * 1) "" (1 page, story and art by KC Green) Grind kickflip halfpipe rad tubular skagetboarg
 * 1) "" (1 page, story and art by David McGuire, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) An Ace Sleuth solves a Mystery
 * 1) "" (8 pages, story by Rachel Rocklin and Kory Bing, pencils by Kory Bing, colors by Matt Cummings, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) A consort finds a book.
 * 1) "" (1 page, story by Phil Gibson, art by J.N. Wiedle) Just a regular day on LOHAC.
 * 1) "" (2 pages, story by Zack Morrison, pencils by EK Weaver, colors by Adrienne Garcia) A prophet tries to talk with his people.
 * 1) "" (2 pages, story and art by KC Green) POney
 * 1) "" (1 page, story by Rachel Rocklin, art by Allison Shabet, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) Jaspers has a Fun Day.
 * 1) "" (4 pages, story and art by Phil Gibson, colors by Mallory Dyer, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) A troll requires technical assistance.
 * 1) "" (1 page, story and art by Phil Gibson, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) An excellent host turns to his young ward for help with preparing refreshments for guests.
 * 1) "" (5 pages, story by Benito Cereno, art by John Keogh, lettering by J.N Wiedle, additional art by David McGuire) NO SUMMARY
 * 1) "" (4 pages, story by Mary Borsellino, art by Magnolia Porter, lettering by J.N. Wiedle) Two friends visit each other's dream homes.
 * 1) "" (1 page, story and art by Phil Gibson) A goddess seeks advice from a book.
 * 1) "" (5 pages, story by Bea Munos, pencils by Kristin Kemper, colors by Adrienne Garcia) Can Town is in Trouble!
 * 1) "" (10 pages, story by Jonathan Griffiths, art by Mallory Dyer) Two young trolls experience high art.
 * 1) "" (5 pages, story by Alex Rofael, art by Rennie Kingsley) A group of kids prepare to have an adventure of the role-playing sort.
 * 1) "" (5 pages, story by Evin Weston, art by Fin Hickey, lettering by Phil Gibson) A Lady and a Viceroy walk into a Dungeon
 * 1) "" (6 pages, story by Zack Morrison, art by Jonathan Griffiths, colors by Mallory Dyer, lettering by Phil Gibson) An excellent host wants to play a game.
 * 1) "" (4 pages, story by Alex Rofael, art by Adrienne Garcia, lettering by Phil Gibson) A troll explains a human room to another troll.
 * 1) "" (5 pages, story by Arden Ripley, drawn by Kristin Kemper, colored by Shelby Cragg, lettering by Phil Gibson) Two friends talk while a family guardian gets in the way.
 * 1) "" (5 pages, story and art by KC Green) dude. yes.
 * 1) "" (5 pages, story by Alex Rofael, art by Mary Cagle, lettering by Phil Gibson) a drunk clown visits a surly hunter
 * 1) "" (5 pages, story by Alex Rofael, art by Adrienne Garcia) A mother takes care of her child.
 * 1) "" (2 pages, story by Alex Rofael, art by Incineraptor) Chores need to be done but who's do to them.
 * 1) "" (1 page, art by Adrienne Garcia, story by Phil Gibson) Tell us a joke, funny boy.
 * 1) "" (7 pages, art by Allison Shabet and Tom Siddell, story by Mary Borsellino) Damara Megido died yesterday.
 * 1) "" (1 page, art by EK Weaver, story by Alex Rofael, lettering by KT Jayne) A dashing lad explores the jungle.
 * 1) "" (24 pages, story by Andrew Hussie, art by J.N. Wiedle) Crowbar needs to round up a bunch of chuckleheads.
 * 1) "" (2 pages, story by Mary Borsellino, art by Rennie Kingsley, lettering by Phil Gibson) A fashionable troll helps a friend in need.
 * 1) "" (3 pages, story and art by Hanni Brosh, lettering by Phil Gibson) There is need for a mortician.
 * 1) "" (25 pages, story by Phil Gibson, art by Matt Cummings) Holiday Traditions
 * (pages 6-12 of Secret Sufferer)
 * (pages 14-18 of Secret Sufferer)
 * (Page 21-23 of Secret Sufferer)

"" (5 pages, story by Mary Borsellino, art and lettering by J.N. Wiedle) The continuing adventures of Lady Grimme as she encounters the Red Knight. A young turtle in a book store sees a poster for a new adventure novel, starring Rose's character from the dream Casey had earlier in the series. The turtle attempts to buy it from the crocodile at the counter, but lacks sufficient funds. Casey secretly pays the last of the funds, and the young turtle goes to a secluded location to read it. Inside the book's story, we see Dave's character rambling about being a "totally harmless minstrel," despite being depicted as a powerful knight in the poster. Viceroy believes Dave's character to be deceitful, and informs Lady Grimme of his/her suspicion. The three have a short conversation, in which Dave's character reveals himself to be a knight, guarding land beyond the bridge that Viceroy and Lady Grimme were about to cross. The knight explains his reasoning for wanting to keep gothic wizards outside the area. Lady Grimme asks the knight to step aside, as well as seek professional help about the phallic objects he mentioned in his earlier rambling. Strife ensues, during which it's revealed that they have the same birth mark of the Prospitian royal crest. This ties into a piece of lore surrounding missing royal twins, meant to defeat the evil King Noir. The knight explains the mission to Lady Grimme, and she agrees to join. Viceroy briefly tries to object. The turtle's reading session is cut short by an Iguana inviting him/her to tea. "" (4 pages, story by John Girard, art by Incineraptor) A bored youth reviews his peers. Aboard the meteor, Rose tells Dave that she has discovered a collection of Alternian romance novel reviews and asks if he wrote it. Dave admits to writing the reviews but explains that he isn't reviewing the books themselves, but rather Karkat's performances of the books as he reads them aloud to himself every night. Karkat is surprised that anyone heard him reading, so the humans tell him that his voice is so loud that it makes sleeping while he reads difficult. To cope with this, Rose has been working on her writing during Karkat's reading sessions, but she notes that Dave has also been writing reviews of her stories and reads one of the reviews aloud. She criticizes Dave's criticisms of her work as being lazy, but he claims that he isn't done with them yet and hypocritically scolds Rose for invading his privacy. Karkat whispers something to Rose, and then openly voices his plan to steal reading material from Equius's belongings. Dave objects, thinking the suffering would be equal for all of them. Karkat explains that he's been desensitized to it, and Dave theorizes that Rose will find the cultural exchange fascinating. Rose confirms Dave's fear. Dave, believing this to be blackmail in order to get him to stop reviewing, states that his journalism will stop, with major consequences. Rose explains that neither of them want him to stop, implying that it's blackmail to keep reviewing. Dave begins a much more detailed article Rose's book. While this happens, the Mayor asks him to help with Can Town. Dave says he is too busy to do so. "" (1 page, story by Alex Rafael, art by Matt Cummings) ''A young girl asks her guardian a big question. '' A younger Jade Harley visits her Grandpa in his armchair in front of the fireplace to ask him how babies are born. He then explains the ectobiological birth process the 8 kids went through, as opposed to normal biology. The story is accompanied by visuals implying that Mom and Dad went to to the ectobiology lab, and Mom set up all the coordinates. Jade holds a confused expression until Grandpa then assures her that the stork picks up the child first, in which Jade finally understands the whole thing. "" (3 pages, story by Phil Gibson, art by Shad Andrews) A coolkid finds himself on a very....strong island. While walking through a dream bubble, Dave finds himself on Butler Island. An Equius in a butler outfit arrives and greets Dave. Dave asks where the island's other butlers are, prompting several other Equiuses to appear nearby and offer Dave a towel or a glass of milk. He turns down their offers and instead asks them how their system works: what happens when one of the butlers needs something? Does one of the other butlers serve him, or are there other butlers on the island that only serve other butlers? Having never considered this question before, the Equiuses begin to debate amongst themselves, wondering which of them should be subservient to the others. Each one begins to insist that they alone should serve the other butlers, and the disagreement quickly leads to a brawl. Kanaya, arriving just as the fighting begins, asks Dave what he did to cause this; he tells her that he merely asked them a question. "" (2 pages, story by Phil Gibson, art by Adrienne Garcia) A young troll searches for a lost treasure. Guided by Feferi through the internet, Aradia is on a quest in an ancient Alternian temple searching for the "star of the ocean". Aradia reaches the chamber and stares in awe as she sees a bejeweled sea star on a pedastal on the far side of the room. On the floor is a giant star-shaped mass as well, and as Aradia retrieves the sculpture, Feferi responds with confusion. She explains to Aradia that the "star of the ocean" is actually the sea star lusus in the chamber, essentially it's kind of a royal pet that's been missing for ages. As she explains this, the lusus hugs Aradia affectionately, and she asks Feferi if she can at least keep the sculpture. "" (4 pages, story by Phil Gibson, art by Hanni Brosh) A group of game abstractions have a conference. The scene begins with a numerous crowd of game sprites in a typical convention-scene, with Nannasprite making an announcement in front of a crowd of other sprites in the background. Nannasprite welcomes everyone to the Spritecon, and reports that there will be a number of panel time and location changes in the con's schedule, but refuses to clarify for the audience, seeing no fun to be had in it. The sprites show disappointment and anger, but Nannasprite insists on them figuring it out themselves. Davesprite takes over the stand to address the agitated sprites, and tells them that even though its of the sprites' nature to be coy with information, he insists the con will go smoothly with everyone chilling the hell out for a few days. Despite this he gives them the new schedules anyway. Meanwhile what could only be Hussiesprite tests his pickup lines on Maplehoofsprite. The convention goes on as planned, but when Nannasprite refuses to give out information of where the next con is, Davesprite is agitated, and gives up after he finds out the planning committee consists of Poppopsprite, Nannasprite, Sassacresprite and what appears to be some famous detective/riddler. "" (1 page, story by Phil Gibson, art by Rennie Kingsley) A young troll offers the purrfect service. The story starts with Eridan attempting to woo an agitated Feferi. In commercial-esque form, Nepeta asks ":33 < has this efur happened to mew?" she then advertises Mewnited Purrsonal Express, here to whisker away all of your shipping problems. They guarentee shipping to all quadrants. Equius' shipping delivery arrives, and he rips his horn off to sign the paper. He receives Aradiabot, who he then kisses, only to have the robot stomp on him. 

Specials
The first page presents a puzzle: Rose, Kanaya, WV, Karkat, Dave, Terezi, and Gamzee are all giving each other gifts. The reader is given hints (from John, Davesprite, and Jade) to determine who's giving gifts to who. The second page is PM in a Christmas sleigh, with Bec Noir serving the role of a reindeer. They must find their way through a maze of two bec heads to reach the meteor. The third page is a nonogram puzzle which, when completed, shows "the only thing Nepeta wants for Christmas". The fourth page features a plethora of zilly santas which the trickster B2 kids were responsible for making. The puzzle in this one is to find out which two are exactly alike.
 * 1) "" (4 pages, story and art by David McGuire) Happy Holidays! Here's some fun activities to do!

Alt text
Many Paradox Space pages feature alt text captions, which can be viewed by hovering one's cursor over the image on a desktop computer. Anyone on the PXS team can add, alter, or remove alt text; a result of this alt text may not be added to a page until several stories later, causing it to be "missed" unless old pages are re-read. As alt text can be retroactive, in some cases the alt text for a particular page may be a result of the fandom's comments or reactions to the page.
 * Welcome to Paradox Space.
 * "Headed for Stardom"
 * by which he does not mean bowling. because THAT, that would be gross
 * March Hare-idan
 * cosplayers: please don't put stickers on your eyes. not even for "authenticity"
 * john's personal record is just a post-it note on dave's desk that says "monkeys"
 * "Prototyped"
 * if you removed homestuck from the internet and replaced it with just that last panel, no one would ever realize it
 * you thought trolls were insectoid but they're actually related to pacmans
 * GOOD DOG. BEST FRIEND.
 * "Critical Miss"
 * we can say "f8ck" but not that other word shhh
 * critical whale <3< eridan OTP
 * This week, Paradox Space will update with two pages per day (these will only appear on "2X Update Combo Weeks")
 * "Con Faire"
 * obviously this comic is 100% canon in every way
 * only the purest and truest nic cage fans can shed tears like this
 * yes. you. you were laughing
 * Allegedly changed a few hours after being added, the original alt text was apparently: except you. you were laughing
 * "The Evil Team" is just a cute lil nickname. Don't overthink this.
 * Also, Vriska, you tried to mind-control the judge, so, you know... not cool.
 * "Deadline Day"
 * If whatever news source you use doesn't bill itself as a sleazy rag, you're being lied to
 * Temporarily removed with no replacement.
 * I dunno, I think "Hurp bloop bluh" goes unrecognized too often these days.
 * I actually kinda want to know what happened with the cake kerfuffle.
 * I suppose you could call this... *sunglasses* ...breaking news?
 * Hooray! A tragedy!
 * oh hey i brought you something
 * "Quality Time"
 * dibs on "bogus dad crisis" as the name of my new band
 * you tried to click that, didn't you
 * dave has a black belt in high fives
 * you pick up those beats right now young man
 * everyone needs a good nose trimmer
 * <>< BEAUITFIOL
 * "Hunting Lesson"
 * ( =①ω①=)
 * (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)
 * (=ＴェＴ=)
 * he turts around
 * but who ate the sandwich
 * "Party Crashers"
 * EXCITEMENT
 * a passive aggressive present to Rose from her mother, I'm sure
 * honey that's salt water you're going to desalinate that first right
 * not pictured: the years crumplehat spent in culinary school learning the art of pastry
 * tea, earl gray, hot
 * "Pones"
 * tune in tomorrow for the eXCITING conCLUTION
 * we made u read this fore two days u fat nasty trash
 * rude
 * "Indemnity Double Reacharound"
 * i didnt spend four years in junior detective school to be called 'mr honeytongue'
 * you gotta do what you gotta do, berrybreath
 * what a twist that nobody saw coming from the first page
 * ": PM slipped some mail in your back pocket during that hug. that was her angle.
 * "Night at the 100dseum"
 * well this isn't ominous at all
 * The humidity in there is like, 80%.
 * eaugh i can taste the air from here
 * karkat really needs to learn how to "chillax"
 * wait that second room actually looks kind of interesting what was in there nO NOT THE HORSECLOCKS
 * that's not anime sparkles it's just sweat
 * you might think Terezi got off easy not being able to see the atrocities but you have NO idea what that place smells like
 * T H E S W E A T I
 * gross
 * The moral of the story is that museums are awful, kids. Tell 'em ol' Paradox Space told you that.
 * "Soul-Fraying Games"
 * what's a mom
 * seriously, name a bad dwarf. you can't
 * karkat is strictly against PDA he is such a prude
 * luckily every dane cook movie has a green cover and has been eaten by the Mayor YOU'RE WELCOME
 * "Horse Play"
 * what
 * obtuse
 * the knight is the horse riding the horse of course of course
 * horse appreciation party
 * what do you mean YOU don't sleep in a nightcap
 * wink
 * "Lalondian Tourism"
 * 4RF 4RF 4RF
 * tale as old as time, song as old as gunplay skills
 * s t o p
 * what
 * "the thirst of dornamon gary"
 * sweet shading, brah
 * p a r t y
 * party party party party party party party party party party party
 * fcuking squirells
 * too be......crontinue'd??????
 * "Hospitality"
 * well who could that be
 * fun fact gamzee is actually his own bobblehead toy
 * aRe YoU sAyInG i AiNt GoT a WiCkEd SiX pAcK?
 * "dignity" and "grace" and "Eridan's self-insert historical fanfiction"
 * rude, gamzee. rude.
 * "Mother & Grub"
 * well that's that
 * :33
 * luckily he landed in a pillow oasis, a naturally occurring Alternian land formation
 * those two sure hecked up
 * you done did good, kid
 * "Garbage Day"
 * ironic velcro
 * The canon end of Homestuck, everybody go home we did it.
 * this actually happened
 * "Damara"
 * shut up, kankri
 * Removed with no replacement.
 * tell them how you pulled a boner all day long
 * tell them how you pulled a boner all day long

Tags
Many of the on the comic pages identify the writer and artist of the story. Others are helpful by identifying characters present on the given page. However, some of these tags, the "unsaturated" ones, are merely additional notes and (most often) jokes. This section serves as a reference and archive for those tags.


 * #welcome to paradox space
 * #every fuckin glitter biscuit
 * #kc green
 * #sports
 * "Critical Miss"
 * #critical wh8le
 * #those eyebrows
 * #cake kerfuffle #malodorous monarchs #bloop bluh blurp #are those words
 * #dead animal pile #barkley
 * #high fives

Multi-page tags

 * #derse
 * #a fun day
 * #scalemate noir

Trivia

 * 404 and 500 errors on the site are accompanied by one of a selection of images featuring Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff and one of Sollux fixing a computer for Equius. The 404 and 500 error page art was

John's Birthday

 * According to the, this comic takes place in the same zoo previously seen in KC Green's Gunshow and Horribleville.
 * "Bears with guns" and "seals with grenades" are callbacks to the aforementioned comics.
 * The kid with the toque and glasses appears to be a young KC Green.

Prototyped

 * The glass shards' captchalogue codes on page 1 read (being posted just after 4/20) and
 * This story marks the first time that Jack Noir has on-screen dialogue, rather than his speech being described entirely through narration.
 * This story was originally going to be titled Armless, but it was decided that that made the conclusion too obvious.

Con Faire

 * The captain at the beginning, judging by the background color of their text box, as well as their status as captain, is possibly the Helmsman.
 * The alt text might possibly be a jab at fans on the forums who produced a massive critical backlash at John's Birthday, the first non-canon comic.
 * The curtains and general stage setup resemble both Caliborn's HS 8143 (Homosuck site theme change) and the HS 8575 (Wizard of Oz stage in Jade and Calliope's dream bubble.)
 * Terezi keeps changing the location of her blindfold: she wore it normally, as a bandana, as a headband, as a scarf, as a belt/dragon cape tail, and as a different style of scarf.
 * The alt text on was added retroactively in response to some forum comments.

Summer Sea Fun

 * This comic may be a reference to this exchange between Damara and Meenah in Openbound part 3:

Ace Sleuth Jane

 * This comic is missing character tags for Jane and GCAT.
 * GCAT is referred to as a female here, despite being referred to as male in Homestuck. (This may be a reference to an ongoing gag of calling non-speaking pets by a different gender each time they are shown, or that referring to GCAT as male would have compromised the phrase used by Jane "Just the Facts Ma'am", the classically misquoted line by Detective Joe Friday of Dragnet fame.)

Party Crashers

 * The teapot on page four is similar to the ones found on LOLCAT.
 * The "tea, earl gray, hot" is a reference to Captain Picard's signature drink order.

Killswitch Engage

 * The first page of this comic was originally uploaded without typing quirks (for ease of reading), but they were added in the next day after a large response from the fanbase.
 * John's arm appears on the third page.
 * This is the first comic where Equius' horn is broken.

Indemnity Double Reacharound

 * Doctor Honeytongue being a former military medic is probably a reference to Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes' assistant/friend. He also wears a similar outfit to Dr. Watson.

The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse

 * The title of this comic is the same as an existing fable by Aesop. The plot also seems to draw inspiration from this story.

Her Pale Passions

 * The book Rose is reading, in the second to last panel, has a picture of Equius on it. The only reason for this is because Phil Gibson just really likes Equius.

Night at the 100dseum

 * The "items of vague historical importance" room features: a portrait of The Condesce posing like Joseph Ducreux, Dualscar's horns, GHB's clown horns (presumably), GHB's spiked club, and a Shroud of Turin reminiscent image of the Signless, which Karkat refuses to humor Equius by acknowledging.
 * On the last page, Equius's horn is broken for the second time in PXS.

Hospitality

 * Gamzee's appearance here contradicts Eridan's emphasis in Kanaya: Return to the core that nobody else ever visited LOWAA.

Mother & Grub

 * The artist herself that the last panel of this comic, with a faint blue glow, was meant to directly precede the scene in Homestuck where HS 8078 (John zaps to Alternia in front of the Dolorosa).

Damara

 * This Halloween comic is a tribute to the work of Japanese horror manga creator Junji Ito. Specifically, it is based on his story TOMIE.
 * The Daedric writing on page five reads "Trapped in the Homestuck factory send help 10292014", referencing a common joke and also the date the page was released.

The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven

 * Speaking to his vanity, countless pictures of are seen framed on the walls of the mansion in the background of several panels throughout the comic.
 * In this art style, all of the members of have slightly differing skintones, and the pairs of leprechauns sharing the same hat color also have the same skintone.

Secret Sufferer

 * The thirteenth troll that Vriska killed one year was, the oliveblood fantroll of Phil Gibson, the writer of this comic.
 * This is the third time Equius breaks his horn in a Paradox Space comic (although this time it was broken to begin with), and the second that Phil Gibson has been involved in.

Lady Grimme and the Red Knight

 * Dave references the film Labyrinth on the second page, including an allusion to the memetic status of David Bowie's package in said film.
 * There is a stump visible in the background on the second and third pages, perhaps implying that the that Dave is describing on the third page is the Land of Stumps and Dismay.

Spritecon

 * More notable characters have appeared in Spritecon than in any other Paradox Space comic, albeit all in sprite form. A full list can be found on the List of Paradox Space characters page.
 * Poinko makes his second appearance on page 4 of this comic, awarding Calliesprite in what is likely the costume contest.
 * Different titles of the 12 events can be seen behind Nannasprite, including:
 * "You've Been ??? with ??? Nemesis"
 * "What to Expect When You're Expecting A Null Session"
 * "Costume Contest!"
 * "Beep! Pew! Universe Birthing Video Games Aren't Just For Kids Anymore!"
 * "Signing: That Orange Weirdo"
 * "Alchemy Workshop"
 * "Horrorterrors of the Furthest Ring and YOU"
 * "Cryptic Wingdings: A Lesson in Parsing Sprite Speak"
 * "Red Herrings: An Afternoon with Dr. David Brenner"
 * "Riddle Workshop," which is supposedly about "How to hold back just enough information so that your player doesn't think your useless"
 * "Prospit Vs. Derse Chess Club Meet-Up"
 * Signing: Oh Hey.... Hey There, Cal

Relation Shipping

 * This is the 50th comic of Paradox Space to date.
 * This is also the fourth time Equius breaks his horn in a comic.
 * And the 11th comic that Phil Gibson has written.

Summerteen Romance

 * This is the 51st comic of Paradox Space, and has 51 pages.
 * With a x2 update combo, the comic would end at 4/13.
 * There is a large, purple bug on a tree in Page 1 that subtly says "buzzz buzzz haha whatever im a cicada imao"