The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat, Epilogue One

Meat: Epilogue One is the first epilogue in the Meat narrative of The Homestuck Epilogues. It consists of the first 8 chapters of the meat route.

Synopsis

 * John eats meat and decides to go defeat Lord English. He says goodbye to Roxy and Calliope, and writes letters for his friends.
 * Dave and Karkat watch TV. Jane is running for president. Dave convinces Karkat to run against her. Dirk, on RUMBLE IN DA PUMPKIN PATCH, calls Dave.
 * John arrives in Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 2. He punches Aranea, takes her Ring of Life, and shoves Gamzee back in the fridge.
 * John arrives in Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 1, alongside two other Retcon Johns. He zaps Jade away, and recruits Dave for the Lord English fight.
 * Dirk, on phone with Dave, explains showmanship and being a good villain. They talk politics, of Jane and Jake and Karkat. Rose calls Dirk.
 * In John’s backyard, one week before Act 1 began, the seven kids and adult John discuss Lord English battle plans.
 * Rose and Dirk, on the phone, talk about ascension. Rose is suffering from it, Dirk is adapting to it. Dirk asks her to come to his workshop soon.
 * In… who even knows where, it’s time for John, Rose, Dave, Jade, Jane, Jake, Roxy, and Dirk to become Caliborn’s Masterpiece.