Ongoing gags



Throughout the adventures many ongoing gags will pop up from time to time. They include:

Gags in Multiple Adventures

 * "Retrieve arms". Based on the fact that character arms are often not drawn when by the character's side. This command is often the first command given to a new character when they appear.


 * "What Pumpkin?" The appearance of pumpkins, which originated from Jail Break. As pumpkins are rather elusive, it's often very difficult to actually tell if there has ever been one in the room.


 * The word shit is used often, giving extra adjectives to adequately describe how shitty the command is. Sometimes the Shit is good, as in "Shit Got Real"; or sometimes the Shit is bad, as in PS 1426 ("This is just Complete Horseshit").


 * Gay porn: Often times the author will slip in some gay porn. Most notable is Hunk Rump.


 * "First, be the pony. Second, ..." A command from makes an appearance in HS 2290 (Homestuck). It is eventually HS 3623 (used successfully).


 * YOU (VERB) THAT (NOUN) THIS INSTANT!: This cry of rage has so far appeared twice, originally in a Problem Sleuth donation comic and more recently seen in Homestuck: Act 5. It was first uttered by Ace Dick while playing a game of Hunk Rump: The Gathering. In an attempt to get Problem Sleuth to hurry up and finish his turn, he begins to urge PS to tap the ass card. When Problem Sleuth refuses, Ace Dick screams ". In its second debut Hearts Boxcars tries to get a doubt-filled Tavros Nitram to get up and kiss Vriska Serket. When Tavros refuses (due to his inability to stand up), Hearts Boxcars flips out and roars HS 4450 ("YOU KISS THAT GIRL THIS INSTANT!")


 * "This is incredibly..." : In Problem Sleuth, several of Pickle Inspector's actions have been described PS 0954 (in) PS 1078 (this) PS 1765 (manner). It has also been seen in HS 2397 (Homestuck) HS 2197 ((more than once)) and the HS 3210 (Midnight Crew intermission). A common variant, "This is incredibly silly!", usually PS 1009 (involves), but occasionally HS 2655 (doesn't).

Problem Sleuth Gags

 * Weapons in Problem Sleuth may be exchanged with PS 0220 (something) PS 0668 (else), also known as an innocuous double. The next frame typically gives an explanation of why it's ridiculous to think the character ever had such an object in the first place. This extends to the Midnight Crew, who keep all their items as decks of cards, and even appears briefly in Hivebent as one of the trolls' weapons.


 * "Punch &lt;noun&gt; in snout to establish &lt;adjectival noun&gt;": Ace Dick from Problem Sleuth is prone to expressing himself through violence, and tends to exert his Emotions in PS 1363 (this) PS 1081 (fashion). Oddly enough, it usually results in him gaining allies. HS 3080 (Recently ported) to the Midnight Crew Intermission.


 * "Ride &lt;noun&gt; like a mechanical bull": A command often given toward objects that clearly should not be ridden like a mechanical bull.


 * "Throw down hat in disgust": A command common among the male characters establishing their disgust in recent events. It doesn't matter whether they are PS 1226 (good) or PS 1411 (bad), nor how much they try and PS 1612 (resist), sooner or later PS 1613 (the hat will fly)! This gag was HS 2452 (recently extended) to Homestuck, as well as the HS 3206 (Midnight Crew) intermission.


 * Busts: Typically placed in Problem Sleuth, busts are seen obstructing pathways, as Busts-R-Us is a Legitimate Establishment, and are constructed to look like several movie celebrities, most notably Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Snoop Dogg. A combination of busts has been created: the Bowen Stilson Dogg.


 * "Fondly regard...": Since Godhead Pickle Inspector refuses to do anything other than "Fondly Regard Creation", many commands are given that use a word that sounds very similar to "Creation". (For example, "Fondly regard PS 0969 (crustacean)" or "Fondly regard HS 1952 (cremation)".) His rule seems a little loose, though, as GPI does fondly regard some PS 1326 (crenellation), although it certainly could be considered part of his "creation." The same may apply to his PS 1678 (beloved children). In an extra, GPI to "Fondly regard donation", but, of course, that's non-canon. Bucking the trend a bit, Wayward Vagabond HS 3402 (holds a certain appeal) for the desert night over Exile Town.


 * Trying to use Sepulchritude. Problem Sleuth has had to PS 0876 (hold) PS 0930 (off) PS 0970 (on) PS 1106 (using) PS 1282 (Sepulchritude) many times, until it is finally PS 1708 (used).


 * "I don't know why you haven't thought of that": Some actions occur on their own, and the action notifies the player that they most likely should have thought of this MONTHS ago, or that something is so simple that the player shouldn't question its obviousness.


 * Flip the Fuck Out: Occasionally a character in Problem Sleuth (or, on one occasion, in Homestuck) will Flip the Fuck Out. Weasels from Problem Sleuth mainly do this when they get agitated.

Homestuck Gags

 * Idiotic thoughts: When characters are first introduced in Homestuck, they get HS 1916 (insanely) HS 2119 (idiotic) HS 2215 (thoughts) which normally consist of acting like an animal and desecrating their surroundings via some bodily function. They usually get these thoughts after trying to retrieve their Arms. Though those thoughts often got cancelled, Jade HS 2674 (goes) HS 2675 (ahead) with hers.
 * THIS IS STUPID: Used by John whenever he realizes something is particularly stupid. The first time he began to have a mental breakdown when he realized that Betty Crocker, his sworn nemesis, manufactures Fruit Gushers, but quickly stopped when he realised that THIS IS STUPID. It was later invoked when he ignored Dave's advice about skipping to the seventh gate and blasted off anyways.


 * Dropping things: In Homestuck, picking up things or taking them out of the Sylladex can cause other items captchalogued in there to eject, often violently and in a hilarious fashion.


 * Level Up for Slaying the Imp: In Homestuck, objects used by Rose to smash Imps are given their own ranking on the Echeladder. These objects include John's Fridge, his bathtub, and the old copy of Colonel Sassacre's.


 * "You figure you've left him hanging long enough.": In Homestuck, both John and Dave have left various things "hanging". In HS 2098 (John's case) it is used figuratively to mean that he needs to high-five the Kernelsprite; in HS 2345 (Dave's case) it is meant literally in reference to the hanging puppet in his way.


 * "Be the other guy": A command used to semi-force the story to focus on another character. It was first used in Jailbreak (though not perfectly) and later appeared in Homestuck to make the story shift from Dave's perspective to John's. Also used for HS 2556 (other characters). Also used in the Midnight Crew intermission, where the command HS 3077 (never) HS 3092 (gets) HS 3098 (the) HS 3116 (desired) HS 3142 (result).


 * "Sweet Catch": Appears when one of the main characters catches something at very high speeds.


 * Misquoting: The narration will often include a quote, only to attribute it to the wrong person. This happens in the cases of HS 1950 (Mark Twain) (a Shakespeare quote), HS 2207 (Charles Barkley) (a T.S. Eliot quote), and HS 2344 (John Keats) (a Snoop Dogg quote).


 * Psyche: Before something cool is about to happen, AH suddenly shifts the story to focus on another character. The first time this happens is when Rose first leaves the observatory to HS 2208 (confront her mother), which is interrupted with "OH PSYCHE" and switches to Dave's introduction. Worthy of note is Andrew's HS 2565 (X2 DOUBLE PSYCHEOUT COMBO) and, eventually, an attempt at a HS 2656 (5X CLIFFHANGER COMBO) and the cause of an UNPSYCHE. On HS 2818 (this page) there's a PRELOADER PSYCHEOUT luring the reader into thinking it's Dave's Strife page when in it is really Jade's.


 * "&lt;Temporal noun&gt; in the &lt;Past/Future&gt;, but not many...": This expression is used a lot of times in Homestuck, to change the story's current time to go to the HS 2341 (past) or to the HS 2623 (future), as the story occurs in HS 2152 (both) simultaneously.


 * "Lousy goddamn stupid &lt;noun&gt;.": So far, every kid save for Dave has HS 2280 (voiced) his or her HS 2460 (disgust) for HS 2812 (something) in this HS 2963 (manner). Sollux Captor, in a similar but not-quite-the-same manner, and in a 2X DISGUST COMBO, expresses his distaste for HS 4047 (lousy stupid goddamn) psychics and his window.


 * "That's really all there is to say on the matter": Dave and John will often summarize their situation quickly, then say this. HS 2437 (That's) HS 2536 (really) HS 2903 (all) HS 2972 (there) HS 3557 (is) HS 4077 (to) say on the matter. Additionally, when Vriska forces Tavros to HS 4075 (jump off of a cliff), he HS 4077 (types) "That's really all there is to report on the subject of me getting hurt" while in the same pose as Dave when he types "That's really all there is to say on the matter."


 * BLUH is commonly used as an all purpose reaction to...well, almost anything. Rose, John, Jade, Kanaya and even Spades Slick have expressed their thoughts about someone or something using some sort of BLUH. Trolls claim to be HS 3535 (unfazed by our human bluhs). See Scribble Mode.


 * "IS THIS YOU". Used by gC to attempt to troll Dave Strider by sending him pictures of various badasses males that bear a sort of resemblance to him. Once instance led Dave(sprite) to compliment gC's trolling methods, although he could have been trolling her in turn. Thus far, it has been used several times in two HS 3557 (different) HS 3835 (conversations).


 * Haunting Refrains: In Homestuck, when musical instruments are present in a scene (string instruments in particular), a command to play a haunting refrain is often chosen, and accompanied by a simple flash video. This actually originated in Problem Sleuth, when Problem Sleuth was commanded, but refused, to play a PS 0304 (haunting tuba refrain) because the tuba in question was encrusted with filth from years of neglect.


 * "Resist Urge to " : a reoccuring gag in which the character is close to an item that may be HS 2352 (tempting to use) or HS 2808 (touch). This usually ends in the character HS 3677 (failing to resist) the urge, but HS 3231 (not always.)


 * Huge Bitch : A gag that has so far appeared 4 times throughout Homestuck. It HS 3196 (first showed up) in the Midnight Crew Intermission. The next was in Homestuck: Act 4, in a HS 3568 (big flash page). The next appearance is in Hivebent HS 4094 (just before) Vriska's introduction. The HS 4206 (most recent instance) mirrors the second one. (The trolls' session's Jack Noir acts the same as the kids' session one). With the appearance of this gag comes a scribble of the targeted person. So far, only the Black Queen / Snowman and Vriska are considered a huge bitch. Huge bitches also say "BLUH BLUH" (see above).


 * Stunning revelation: Used in Hivebent to reveal something important to overall plot when it seemed otherwise. So far used for Aradia Megido's HS 4092 (all-the-time death) and (unsuccessfully) for the fact that the trolls HS 4217 (have one session and not two).


 * "You cannot hope to beat  in a -off": You cannot hope to beat Egbert, Tavros, Aurthour, or Kanaya Maryam in a HS 3649 (prank-off), HS 4072 (a8scond-off), HS 4113 (butler-off), or HS 4616 (snark-off), respectively. They are simply the best there is.


 * Toilet displacement: In Homestuck, newly connected Sburb players who are still getting used to the interface seem to have a serious habit of ruining the client player's bathroom, in almost every case. The toilet (if we choose to use that hoity-toity, blueblooded term) is usually first to go, followed later by the bed and occasionally the bathtub.


 * Drinking something one is not supposed to : In Homestuck, one gag would go that a character would try to drink something that only looked tantalizing, only to retch in disgust and find out otherwise. So far, this has happened to John with his HS 3342 ("apple juice") (in Dave's imagination), Rose with one of her Mother's HS 3442 (martinis), Kanaya with the HS 4240 (blood) of her just-deceased Lusus, and Feferi with some HS 4354 (Troll Tab). The last one is doubly hilarious as she was attempting to drink while underwater. Eridan would've also HS 4377 (done this) with Faygo, but he considered it unnecessary since it's just soda. "We all need to settle down here."


 * "ALL THE (NOUN)S. All of them." : Appears all over Homestuck: Act 5 in most of the instances where Trolls are speaking of ALL of something. ALL OF IT. First shows up when Sollux is HS 3976 (introduced). It HS 4096 (frequently) HS 4122 (involves) HS 4196 (Vriska), but has also been used by HS 4341 (Feferi), HS 4367 (Eridan), and Sollux. Also, the variation of "HS 4359 (None of them)" occurs where it fits better.


 * Words beginning with "A": Sometimes fancy words of this kind are used instead of words which would be used usually in their place. John Egbert's computer has an "Actuate" button instead of a "Start" button. During Strife, the kids can select options such as "Aggrieve", "Aggress"(-&quot;passive&quot;), "Abjure", "Abscond", "Abstain", "Abuse", "Accuse", "Assail" or "Assault" (Jade, while firing at Bec, can choose "Arraign", "Arsenalize", "Artillerate", "Armamentify"... or "Arf".)


 * Oh nooooo... with various letters repeated. Fairly self-explanatory. Please make sure to read it in the proper tone of mental voice. First instance: Jade HS 2759 (hears from Karkat) again, the first time from our perspective. Second instance: Jade is thwarted HS 3282 (one more time) by a Pumpkin. Third instance: Dream Jade's HS 3344 (reaction) to the accidentally impaled crow. Another example: Nepeta's HS 4195 (comment) on her Shipping wall to the possible matespritship pair of Karkat and Vriska. HS 3924 (This time) doesn't count.


 * "Immutable Fact I am Stating... Does not mean": Karkat tells John that all troll kids hate all human kids during an HS 3294 (attempt to communicate helpfully) with him and calls John an idiot so that he can clearly explain why he is not trying to be mean to him. Terezi later HS 3424 (assures Rose) that she is being helpful, but friendship just isn't taking place. Kanaya HS 4039 (informs) Aradia that, although it is immutable that Sgrub will be terrible and although they are not on the same team, she will still be helpful.


 * Vriska being annoyed at having to follow explanations by keeping notes and running out of ink and pens and paper, etc.


 * The x2 Double Facepalm Combo, HS 2550 (first used) by Rose in the Mausoleum and later HS 4385 (not quite accomplished) by Spades Slick
 * Bonk: Several times in Homestuck items have struck someone on the head with a satisfying BONK.
 * Reunite with loving...: HS 3500 (Originally) HS 3831 (used) to fondly regard Con Air, but has now extended HS 4543 (beyond) HS 4624 (that).
 * Bromanteaus such as "Broblerone" and "Broceiden King of the Brocean"
 * "This   called friendship" is mentioned multiple times, with frequent debate over whether friendship is actually an emotion or not.
 * Characters have been prone to making piles of objects related to them, like Jade's Squiddles, Rose's scarves, Gamzee's horns, and Eridan's wands. The only unique case is Vriska, since while she does have piles of dice and 8-balls lying around her hive, she was not the one to pile them, rather Kanaya who was simply cleaning her room.

Midnight Crew Intermission

 * Backup clothing: in the Midnight Crew Intermission, the Midnight Crew have backup hats, and has a backup CAIRO OVERCOAT.