Dirk Strider


 * IF ANYONE EDITS THIS PAGE LIKE ROXY'S AND JANE'S I WILL SUMMON ACTUAL CANNIBAL SHIA LEBEOUF. NOT JOKING HERE GUYS, STOP IT.


 * For the pre-Scratch version of this character, see DAVE'S BRO.

Dirk Strider is DAVE'S BRO in the POST-SCRATCH universe. Prior to his proper introduction to the reader, he is referred to by JANE as "D. Strider", and later by ROXY as "di stri". His name may also be a reference to Bro's use of shitty swords unbreakable katanas (A dirk is a kind of blade, specifically a Celtic dagger).

His chumhandle is timaeusTestified, in line with the rule that post-scratch kids have the same chumhandle abbreviation as their corresponding pre-scratch kid's ectobiological sibling. This completes the set of chumhandles when added to GT, GG, and TG.

He uses the same color text that DAVESPRITE uses, similarly to how JANE and JAKE use the same colors as NANNASPRITE and JADESPRITE, respectively. He also signed the BOOK that he sent to Jane in orange pen.

His web browser is HS 6548 (Yaldabaoth), it can be assumed that NEPETA LEIJON has the same browser due to her being the heroine of heart in her session.

PERSONALITY
Dirk, much like his ecto-son Dave, is a cypher. He's a big showoff when it comes to his achievements (especially involving robots, which have been scattered far and wide) but doesn't want to "make a thing" out of his personal likes and thoughts, half of which are probably ironic by any rate. He appears to enjoy criticizing JAKE'S infatuation with the fictional character Neytiri, apparently referring to the character as HS 6071 ("a gigantic shitty space furry.") This may be a reference to the fact that Jade is now (quite literally) a gigantic space furry, as seen in the Cascade Flash. He seems to be a fan of horses, judging by his room being filled with horse and pony themed posters. He also watches "MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC" although he claims his interest is purely of academic nature, he does however admit he likes the character 'Rainbow Dash', since HS 6427 ("she is so spunky. <3") He also owns a tiny MAPLEHOOF, who in her new size resembles a MLP figurine. He seems to be more laid back and less hot-headed than Dave at 16, using intellectual analysis intermixed with his ironic quips. At 13 however, his personality is almost identical to Dave's, using more curse words and fewer intellectual quips than his older self.

Dirk seems to have a high interest in teaching his friends lessons to aid them in their personal development, such as when he insists Jake fights Brobot for Uranium as a consequence of having wasted his own Uranium thoughtlessly. He tries to make Jake more skeptical, because he is very naive; while the opposite holds true for Jane, who he criticised for her extreme skepticism. This results in him coming off as obnoxious at times, trying to make his friends think more, which makes him similar to his biological daughter Rose. Like his pre-scratch self, he has a big interest in smuppets and puppets in general (although it seems this interest has expanded into the field of robotics). He is also known to enjoy "legendary infinite showers" (which he may take when he is focusing on his dreamself).

BIOGRAPHY
Dirk's meteor arrived on earth sometime during the 25th century, along with ROXY LALONDE. However, he is able to communicate with Jane and Jake (who are living around 4 centuries in the past) and establish Sburb connections with them by means of TROLLIAN.

He, like Jake and Roxy, gave JANE a bunny for her thirteenth birthday, though he had to build it from scratch, unlike the others. It was HS 6029 ("...somewhat less innocuous") than the other two bunnies and is HS 6142 ("such a little troublemaker"). His bunny contains the original Con Air bunny which he stole from his Bro's museum.

He also has an auto-responder, an application designed to simulate Dirk's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. It is implied that it was constructed somehow with a copy of Dirk's brain. The algorithms were originally guaranteed to be 96% indistinguishable from Dirk's native neurological responses, based on HS 6085 (statistical analysis), which means that the percentage can change (and does, dropping to 93% upon Jake's continued probing). Jake expresses frustration with it, but Jane seems to like it.

His Dream Self on Derse has apparently been awake for years, much like Dave's was, although Dave was not aware of it. He has been using his Dream Self to gather information on Derse, and to watch over Roxy's sleepwalking Dream Self. His Dream Self is seen covered in the HEGEMONIC BRUTE'S blood, having foiled the BATTERWITCH'S assassination attempt. He then chose to reveal his dream self's awakeness to Derse by HS 6472 (publicly impaling the Brute's head through a Dersite banner.)

Afterwards, Dirk tries to ascend to his roof, but is sidetracked by the sudden appearance of Roxy's FENESTRATED WALL, and soon after by jeering from UNDYINGUMBRAGE. He grabs Lil' Cal and goes to the roof, where we see that, like Roxy, he lives in the POST-SCRATCH FUTURE EARTH.

RELATIONSHIPS
As DAVE before him, he seems to have had a strained relationship with his older "Bro", who has since passed away. Unlike Dave, he held the lack of brotherly brawls against his Bro, forcing him to HS 6368 (BUILD ROBOTS, SET THEM TO KILL MODE, AND SPAR WITH THEM TO DEATH) instead. Post-scratch Dave has made it very clear to Dirk that he is not his real older brother, but related to him through HS 006157 ("an esoteric process of genetic reamalgamation.") Jane also believes that he is a bit bitter about his bro's success with SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF the Moive [sic], although he would never admit it.

It is heavily implied that Dirk harbors an interest in JAKE. Dirk's AUTO-RESPONDER has alluded to this. The A.R., having started out as an exact replica of his thirteen-year-old self indicates that Dirk's romantic interest in Jake started to manifest about three years ago. The Auto-Responder also informs Roxy that Dirk is planning to make some sort of romantic overture to Jake once they both begin playing the game. Dirk has confirmed that he may do so if things go according to plan.

TRIVIA

 * [[Image:DSsymbols.gif|right]]His shirt features a picture of a cap, reminiscent of Bro's headwear and similar in shape to Dave's record symbol.
 * Like Dave's hair, Dirk's hair is a stylized bird.
 * He is the first male character to be introduced having the same two letters for PESTERCHUM initials, the only other being UNDYINGUMBRAGE.
 * His chumhandle is most likely a reference to Plato's dialogue, TIMAEUS, which discusses the DEMIURGE, a GOD-LIKE BEING who CREATED THE UNIVERSE as a SORT OF LIVING CREATURE. The Timaeus dialogue, alongside CRITIAS, also introduces the mythology behind ATLANTIS.
 * Dirk has a map of Atlantis in his room. And when his first name is finally revealed, it's noted that HS 6367 (the last two letters) of "Dirk" are diluvian (relating to floods). This is because r and k are the last two letters of "Ark" and Atlantis is often referred to as the "Antediluvian World".
 * Dirk's browser (and presumed denizen) is Yaldabaoth, who is the chief of the Gnostic Denizens and creator of man.
 * Timaeus is also a biblical character in the GOSPEL OF MARK who is the father of A MAN WHOSE BLINDNESS WAS CURED BY JESUS.
 * His affinity for HS 6354 (robots and horses) and his interest in HS 6425 (looking STRONG) resemble those of EQUIUS.
 * He appears to, like Dave, be surrounded by feathery assholes; only they are white seagulls instead of black crows.
 * Not only are the Pesterchum handles switched between Dirk and Roxy, but their literacy is as well; Dirk's commentary is as grammatically correct (if more prone to ironic puppet references) as Rose's, while Roxy's is devoid of the same punctuation as Dave's (with the added typos from frequent intoxication).
 * Dirk takes this a step further with his colors being an inversion of Rose's: While she has purple text and orange God Tier robes, Dirk has orange text and presumably purple God Tier robes.
 * Dirk appears to own a SENDIFICATOR, as he occasionally sendificates some of his robots to his friends.
 * Similar to Roxy, it is the only Crockercorp tech he uses.
 * HS 6386 ([S] Roxy: Sleepwalk) reveals that both Roxy and Dirk have eyes that match the color of their PESTERCHUM text.
 * Dirk uses a strife specibus called fncysntakind, which is a direct reference to the FANCY SANTAS in Problem Sleuth. In an annotation in the Homestuck book, Hussie states that fncysntakind is the most powerful of all specibi, but this is most likely a joke.
 * Dirk has HS 6426 (a Hella Jeff tattoo) on his shoulder, complete with jpeg artifacts.
 * Dirk's computer background features the "Mustang" art sculpture placed outside the Denver International Airport in Denver, Colorado. This statue is completely terrifying. The horse is blue with orange eyes, suggesting Dirk's ongoing horse obsession.
 * It is also related that, the Denver football team is the Denver Broncos, Broncos being another way to say horse.
 * Dirk has the ability to quickly change from being his normal self, to his DREAM SELF. This is most likely a reference to ABSTRACTED THOUGHT, which is a COMBAT OPERANDI move in PROBLEM SLEUTH.
 * Dirk considers Cal his best friend and sleeps with him, apparently.