The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy, Epilogue Two

Candy, Epilogue Two is the second epilogue in the Candy narrative of The Homestuck Epilogues. It consists of chapters 4 to 13 of the Candy route.

Synopsis

 * Rose awakens in a hospital bed, Kanaya by her side. Rose feels better than she has in years. The two bond strongly again.
 * Jade, Dave, and Karkat riff over John’s increased socializing, hypocrisy, flirting, and Jane’s abandoned presidential campaign.
 * Jane visits Jake. The two bond over politics and a distant Dirk. They get drunk together, and Jake dodges a come-on.
 * John spends time with Roxy, Calliope, and Gamzee in a Carapacian city. Roxy invites John to a cafe for a sort-of date, whereupon Gamzee intrudes and offers to be John’s wingman.
 * In the troll brooding caverns, Rose and Kanaya discuss politics and troll reproduction. Swifer joins them to watch the miracle of a grub’s birth: the second coming of Vriska.
 * Jade coerces Dave and Karkat to go outside and have a date, which fails miserably.
 * On a proper date with Roxy, John seeks counsel from Terezi. Roxy tries to broach the topic of gender. Dave arrives in a Jade-induced panic, seeking counsel from John.
 * Dave talks to John about gayness, Jade, Karkat, social philosophy, and gayness. John fears he did not help with Dave’s problems.
 * Jake awakens from an alcoholic Trickster haze to find he has been having sex with Jane. Jake finds he would prefer profound abnegation over breaking Jane’s heart.
 * Dave now seeks counsel from Dirk at his workshop, but instead he finds a useless Gamzee, a female bot-in-progress, and an ominous note.