Homestuck: Act 5 Act 2

Act 5 Act 2 is the second half of Act 5 of Homestuck. It is the current act.

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The major events of Act 5 Act 2 are:


 * HS 4526Karkat Vantas views scenes from John Egbert's life, beginning with his arrival on Earth. Baby John sits atop the volume of Sassacre's that crushes his Nanna. Later in life, a young John rides his Pogo Ride until tumbling off and scraping his knee. Dad comes to his aid. Later, Dad teaches John to play the piano. John wears a shirt with a black spade on it. Dad throws a pie in John's face while wearing a familiar disguise. Later, John first introduces himself to Jade Harley through Pesterchum. He shoots cards out of his sleeve, baffling Karkat. Scenes of John from earlier in Homestuck are shown: preparing Jade's birthday present, looking up at his Meteor, battling Crude Ogres, wielding the the Wrinklefucker, being praised by Salamanders, and flying while asleep on Bro's Rocket Board. Karkat seems to see John as his one true Kismesis.
 * HS 4527Karkat makes his first attempt to troll John (who has obtained a new outfit and newly alchemized gear). Karkat is surprised to find out that John knows all about him due to the friendship between Karkat's future self and John's past self. John reveals that the trolls have assisted the Kids in making a plan to deal with The Rift. Karkat hints at his feelings of kismesissitude. Even though John is open-minded, he turns Karkat down, though his reasons for doing so - not being homosexual and complications arising from Karkat's relationship with Terezi - are hard for Karkat to comprehend, since they are not issues in Troll Romance. As the conversation has taken an awkward turn, they agree not to speak of it again. Karkat decides to troll John's past self.
 * HS 4528Terezi Pyrope opens up a memo to discuss Karkat's plan to troll the Homestuck Kids as Karkat attempts to make a rousing speech to encourage them to get revenge. Numerous Past Karkats crash the memo in protest and eventually get banned. Terezi and Karkat start arguing using the same computer and keyboard. Finally, a future Terezi tells her past self to join in and troll the kids, which she was planning to do anyway.
 * HS 4530John crash-lands on the Land of Wind and Shade but remains asleep. Vriska Serket, viewing John via Trollian, tries to manipulate him in his sleep but fails.
 * HS 4538Dream John and the Uber Bunny meet his Dad and Rose Lalonde's Mom on the remains of The Battlefield. They have a short exchange and John tries to reunite with his loving father and the scarf lady, leaping off a cliff, Tavros-fashion, to do so. Vriska tries harder to manipulate John and succeeds in waking him, causing his dreamself to blink out of existence seconds before a heartwarming reunion. John, now awake on LOWAS, gets trolled by Vriska. On Skaia the White Queen's Ring falls into a stream after John disappears. A disappointed Dad is offered a tipple from Mom's flask. Above them a cloud shows the explosion of Rose's first gate.
 * HS 4553Vriska and John have a short exchange. She persuades him to focus on helping Jade enter The Medium rather than go back to sleep and reunite with his father. John’s long-lost server copy of the Sburb beta springs from a Parcel Pyxis to him. Nice!
 * HS 4556On Jade's Island, Jade finally completes her descent and is saved by Bec, who warps her bed underneath her at the last possible minute. Jade instantly falls asleep, just missing a Pesterchum message from John.
 * HS 4559On Skaia, the Warweary Villein stands in a river running red with the blood of the recently fallen. He mourns their deaths, believing it was foolish for him to have lead them into battle. He discovers something shiny in the river...
 * HS 4561John and Vriska chat as John heads for a return node. Vriska discusses troll culture, including their Lusus. She also discloses the point of Sburb: the creation of a new universe. The two continue to have a rather civil conversation as John heads back to his house to run the Sburb server beta.
 * HS 4565Upon arriving home, John discovers Imps running amok through his house. Thoroughly displeased, he swiftly dismisses the ruffians by utilizing extreme seriousness. His bedroom is messy. Well, messier than usual. The imps have defiled his movie posters, leaving him on the verge of tears. They have thrown his computer out of the window, as well.
 * HS 4572Vriska pesters John about his sweet movies and insists he is wasting time. She is then embarrassed by a bucket lying on the floor of John's room. John explains it's used for cleaning and not procreation. As he tosses the bucket out of his room, Vriska reveals that "Spinneret" isn't her real name, which is a "sekret"...
 * HS 4576John walks onto the balcony, finding both imps and salamanders around his Alchemiter. Nanna is nowhere to be found. Looking up at his house, John is surprised at how much it has grown and how busy his server player has been.
 * HS 4582John pesters Rose. She is already aware of the shocking revelations John had in store for her, such as the creation of the paradox babies. Rose states that rather than continue to play and inevitably lose, she intends to break the game. Her plan now is "(t)o do as much damage to the game as possible. To rip its stitches and pry answers from the seams."
 * HS 4583Rose, wearing a new ensemble, walks along a beach in the Land of Light and Rain. Turtles, the Consorts of the LOLAR, cower in fear as she passes. Rose comes upon a Turtle temple or fortress. Asking Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer, who also sports sharp new duds, for one of her Thorns, she uses it to uproot the fortress, sending stones and turtles flying into the air. Rose is contacted by Kanaya Maryam, who reveals to her that she has been reading Rose's Walkthrough.
 * HS 4593Shortly after Karkat's speech about trolling the Kids, Kanaya asks him if he knows anything about Rose. Karkat says that he will steer clear of her, so Kanaya then agrees to troll Rose.
 * HS 4595Kanaya has her HS 3614 (first conversation) with Rose – actually with John on her computer. Unable to open her viewport in Trollian, Kanaya is unaware that she is talking to him, not Rose. After Sollux helps Kanaya open her viewport, she sees Rose spring the trap John had left for her. Seeing the bucket on Rose’s head, Kanaya becomes filled with embarrassment and shields her screen from view.
 * HS 4601Trying to put that embarrassment behind her, Kanaya goes further back to when Rose is first HS 2115 (introduced). She tries to name Rose “Flighty Broad”. Kanaya then trolls John, earlier in his timeline when he still wore his Spade shirt. After conversing with John, and later with Dave and Jade as well, she deems that the conversations did not go well because of their inferior human intellect. However, her curiosity remains piqued.
 * HS 4609Kanaya switches the viewport to Rose's house in the winter, where Rose is outside making a snowman with the head of a cat. Kanaya goes on to say how bright and pretty the Earth is, and how nice Rose is dressed. Rose once again gains a slight upper hand for her fashion sense and "loyal snowlusus".
 * HS 4612Kanaya has her HS 2993 (second conversation) with Rose, and, although satisfied with her trolling effort, it is obvious to Kanaya that this Rose is different than before. She believes that her first conversation had simply been Rose toying with her. She has her HS 3838 (third) conversation with Rose, which does not go well.
 * HS 4614Her fourth through sixth conversations continue the trend, leaving Kanaya in a rather bad state as Rose continually out-snarks her. After she asks Dave for HS 3489 (advice), she pulls out her trump card in the HS 3492 (seventh conversation) with a (slightly modified) of their first conversation. Moving on to the eighth conversation, Kanaya views Rose destroying her first gate. Shocked at what Rose has done, she quickly questions Rose, who has some questions of her own.
 * HS 4623Having just remade his Cosbytop Computer, John is trolled by Vriska. He starts to blast off with his Rocket Pack to search for Nannasprite, but Vriska stops him so that he can make a replacement for his Junior Ectobiologist’s Lab Suit, since she has seen him do so in his future.
 * HS 4626Rose chats with Kanaya while disassembling the Turtle fortress she has levitated. They discuss the information Rose has gathered in her dreams from the Gods of the Furthest Ring. Kanaya informs Rose that her Viewport goes black several hours from that point, well before The Rift occurs. Rose discovers within the Turtle fortress what appears to be a Captchalogue card for a Green Sun with which Kanaya is unfamiliar.
 * HS 4632Vriska prepares an outfit for John that is almost exactly the same as her own, with a different color scheme and a Green Slime Ghost in place of her Scorpio symbol. John promptly blasts off after Vriska tells him that they will not speak for a couple hours. Jokingly, John tells Vriska that his last name is Anderson, obviously a reference to the Matrix.
 * HS 4637On the way to the top of his house, John is pestered by Dave, who promptly requests that John give him his Boonbuck so he can work the Land of Heat and Clockwork Stock Exchange. Dave tells John he has time-travelled through at least three times the 24-hour period they have until the Rift. After some convincing, John agrees to transfer his money to him.
 * HS 4638At the LOHAC Stock Exchange, three different time-travelling versions of Dave are surrounded by his consorts, Crocodiles. Dave loads John's Boonbuck into his virtual porkhollow and utilizes his scams to multiply the Boonbuck, adding to his already large fortune of over 216 septillion Boondollars. (For comparison, a Boonbuck is only a million.)
 * HS 4642Dave chats with Terezi about his Boon-wrangling. They share a of  and Dave sends 413 Boonbonds to Terezi 6 hours and 12 minutes prior to their conversation.
 * HS 4643Terezi views Skaia from The Veil in the trolls' session through her Smelloscope. She sees the destruction of Prospit and, after seeing Kanaya slice off Tavros's legs with her chainsaw, starts a memo to inform the others of Prospit's destruction. Nepeta mentions that Derse is also destroyed 3 hours and 14 minutes in the future.
 * HS 4655Terezi receives Dave's monetary transfer from the future. Sollux traces the transfer back to him. Terezi, Sollux, and Feferi then view Dave's past. Bro finds him atop a deceased Maplehoof in a Meteor crater and, with the help of Lil Cal, raises him, training him in combat even as an infant.
 * Terezi contacts Dave for the first time in accordance with the timeline. The view switches back to the present Dave, who seems to be in hot water((literally)). Seems like the crocs got wise to Dave's scheme and are now punishing him. It turns out that it was Terezi's scheme to befriend the crocs.
 * Dave gets out of the pool and changes into his Four Aces Suited. When Terezi asks for his trust, Dave refuses and decides that she is not trustworthy enough. However, his future self comes out from hiding behind one of the columns and gives him a thumbs up. This shocks present Dave, and after recovering from the initial shock, returns a thumbs-up.
 * Dave and Terezi talk about busting some sweet moves, while Dave heads down an elevator. Terezi sends Dave some animated GIFs of two kids dancing, with Terezi's signature editing over it.
 * Dave gets off the elevator and walks on a path. Finally, Terezi tells Dave that he must start accumulating Boondollars.
 * Suddenly, something strange happens as Dave is apparently messaged by Karkat, next to a huge clock-tower shaped like a consort of LOHAC's.
 * Meanwhile, John pesters Vriska, while high atop his house, much to Vriska's dislike. John apparently figures out Vriska's real name, also much to her dislike.
 * John links Vriska a video of the ending scene of Con Air, in which Cameron Poe reunites with his daughter and wife. Vriska falls head over heels for Poe, and expresses matespriteship, even going far enough as to kiss the monitor.