Elwurd

Elwurd
“Lmaooo she aLready sent me her ETA on goregLe maps”
Troll Call Card
AKA	Gaegrl, Rxsell, Skalpr
Age	16 years
Screen name	seLLingUpphers
Typing style	No capitalization except for the letter L and for emphasis, uses all punctuation consistently except for periods, which are used... periodically. Letters are often multiplied by 6.
Relations	MSPA Reader - Friend (good ending) Bronya Ursama - Ex-matesprit or kismesis (most likely the former)
Live(s) in	Outglut, a subgrub of Thrashthrust on Alternia
Music	Superego ♫

?????? Elwurd is a young Alternian troll living in Outglut during the time period of Hiveswap and Hiveswap Friendsim. She was first revealed during the Hiveswap Troll Call event alongside Galekh Xigisi on January 10th, 2018. Her bullet points on the Troll Call card were "has her shit together", "knows your mom", and "not vriska". She appeared in Hiveswap Friendship Simulator: Volume Six alongside Folykl Darane and Kuprum Maxlol on June 22nd, 2018. Her bullet points altered as from December 6, 2018 to "*Many names and even more for sale", "A fantastic date" and "Your crush is cute, kid, but don't get any ideas". Her other aliases include Gaegrl, Rxsell and Skalpr.

Etymology

Her first name is unknown. Her surname is phonetically similar to "L-word", a euphemistic way of referring to lesbians and the name of a television show dealing with lesbian characters. Elwurd also means "participant" in Western Frisian. "Gaegrl", similarly, is phonetically identical to "Gay Girl". "Rxsell" is spelled similar to RX Sell, likely in allusion to her selling of drugs. Skalpr is phonetically similar to "scalper".

Biography (Dubiously Canon)

Elwurd is a young ceruleanblood troll living in Outglut who frequents going to bars and girls-only places. She seems to have had a bad (possibly recent) breakup with her ex-matesprit Bronya Ursama, but she claims she's totally over it.

When she bumps into the player, the MSPA Reader gets chills upon seeing her sign remembering their previous encounter with a blueblood. She greets them kindly and asks if they're lost. The player, trying to look cool in hopes of impressing her, says that they are lost but they don't really have a place to be. She relates to the feeling, and says she could tell them so many stories. She then asks if your an alien, and you confirm and she tells you to call her Elwurd. Elwurd then asks if the player wants to hang out with her, and the player excitedly agrees. However, before the two can actually get to hanging out, she says that there are two places where the two could potentially hang out. She has the player make a choice on where they want to go.

Bad Endings

Elwurd's first bad end.

If the player decides to go to the closer place, she'll guide them to an underground bar. The player is totally confident in befriending Elwurd, but her gaze is fixed on a Scoro troll who gives her a smile to call her over. The player tries to make her remember their presence, but Elwurd says that she has to go and assures them that they can handle it themselves. They can't.

If you get enthusiastic about the fake date, Elwurd will step back for a bit and act a bit uncomfortable about the situation. She says that she doesn't want to lead the player on, but the player assures her that they won't fall in love with her. She then brings up the player's "ex" and asks if they were using her to try and rebound. She understands that their "breakup" might have been hard for them and tells them it's okay, then decides she'll blow her ex off and take the player out somewhere special so they can "forget" about the breakup.

Ewlurd's second bad end.

Elwurd takes the player to a girls only cafe and gets them a drink. She informs them that the place is for girls only, and although she doesn't really know the MSPA Reader's gender she says that no one's gonna ask because they're an alien, and if someone does ask she'll just say you're with her (and also no one's gonna mind because you're cute). The player gets all flustered but tries to push it down. They ask where they are, and then she tells them it's excessive bodily force poetry open mic night. Elwurd asks if you've ever done it before, and the player lies saying that they have a couple of times. She acts surprised, and then encourages them to sign up. The player goes up to the oliveblood holding the clipboard and signs up for slam poetry. They try to learn some things by watching the other participants that go before them. Of course a lot of the metaphors were lost due to the cultural differences, but they manage to pick up that some of the poems are supposed to be erotic. Some of the trolls of higher blood castes tend to use actual excessive bodily force when performing. A purpleblood snaps a microphone in half and Elwurd falls for her. Soon it's the player's turn to go up for slam poetry, and they still have no idea what to do for for their poem. Then they draw inspiration from their lack of inspiration, then start shouting random body parts, celebrity names, and then add a numa numa iei to the end. They then slap themselves in the face to try and imitate what the purpleblood had done. Their poem is a failure, but Elwurd says that she enjoyed how funny it was, though she's surprised you didn't do a piece on your "breakup". She then says that it's fine if you wanna talk about it. The player, very uncomfortable with having to lie about their breakup even more, decides to tell her the truth. They confess, and Elwurd suddenly becomes a lot more colder with them and withdraws from the player. The player tries to apologize for their lie, but she tells them it's not cool to lie about that kind of stuff and tells them to leave. The player reluctantly agrees, and tries to hide their disappointment as they walk away.

Good Ending

Elwurd's good end.

If the player acts cool about the fake date, Elwurd will thank you for doing her a solid and says she'll owe you one, then does her signature finger guns. She takes you to her hive, and the player observes how messy it is and sees why her ex would have a hard time finding it here. The player asks a bunch of questions to try and make their "relationship" seem believable. Elwurd jokes around that she'll quiz them on her favorite movies but then states that the two can just wing it since she isn't worried. She then states that her ex is here anyways, then lets her know that she can come in. Then Bronya comes in, and she and Elwurd go back and forth between her lost sweater, before Elwurd points out that she's interrupting her "date" with you. The player greets Bronya timidly, and Bronya looks back and forth between the two of you trying to process this sudden revelation. She says that she's shocked that you and Elwurd are now "dating" and that she could have introduced you to some of her jadebloods if you were interested in romance. Elwurd then groans, visually upset that you both knew each other. To try and make things less of a mess, the player thanks Bronya for her offer but says that they are completely fine with their current "relationship". She responds saying that she would never try and tell you how to live your life, and that she just wants her sweater back. She and Elwurd go back and forth about her sweater again, before Elwurd says that she'd rather not do this now because of her "date". Bronya agrees with her request, saying that she doesn't want to drag her friend (you) into this, but also that she can't keep avoiding her forever. Bronya then leaves, leaving the player and Elwurd alone again. Elwurd then confesses that she does indeed have her sweater in the back of her closet. The player then says that Bronya looked like she wasn't totally over what had happened between what happened, and she agrees. They also add on that it's okay to not be completely over a relationship, even if it was for the best that it's over. She smiles at you, and thanks you for saying that. She then calls you nice, and says that you didn't have to do all that for her. She reinvites you for a drink, and calls you a good friend.

Personality and Traits (Dubiously Canon)

Elwurd is very cool, calm and collected. She "has her shit together", as stated in her Troll Call card. She frequents bars and ladies-only spaces, and apparently flirts and falls for a lot of girls as evidenced by both of her bad endings. She has various posters of women up on the walls of her hive, even so far as a poster of two jadeblooded girls with the caption "makeout" in the Daedric alphabet.

Elwurd tries to act completely over her relationship with Bronya, but it may be that she could be just as distressed over it as Bronya is. She constantly brings up how "over she is", seemingly as a means of trying to assure herself she is, and also keeps Bronya's sweater in her closet so Bronya will keep visiting in order to try and find it.

In Lanque's route, she was revealed to be some sort of drug dealer, selling some to Lanque.

Relationships (Dubiously Canon)

Bronya and Elwurd used to be in either a matespritship or kismessitude (most likely former, but currently unconfirmed), and they both have trouble communicating with one another, with Bronya trying to get Elwurd to talk about how she really feels and then Elwurd pushing her away. While Elwurd claims that she's moved on from their relationship, in reality she's still sad it ended the way it did.

Her appearance in Ardata's party in Volume 18 implies that Ardata and Elwurd are friends. It is also implied that Lanque is her regular customer in buying her drugs. However, due to the disputable canonicity of Lanque's route, it is unknown whether these statements are canonical or not.

Gallery

Elwurd's character sprites from Hiveswap Friendsim

Elwurd in the Friendsim Volume Six character select screen (left)

Trivia

• According to the Extended Zodiac, her sign is Scornius, sign of the Radical, making her a potential Prospit Dreamer and Hero of Hope.
• The suggestion by Elwurd's Troll Call card that she “knows your mom” may be a reference to her past relationship with Bronya, whom the player character describes as looking “like such a mom” in Hiveswap Friendship Simulator: Volume Three.
• Her rocky relationship with Bronya seems to mirror the relationship between Kanaya and Vriska, where Kanaya felt red for Vriska but was then heartbroken after she found out about her feelings for Tavros. Vriska then had a quick infatuation with her after she punched her in the face during the 3X Showdown.
• Given how all her known aliases either allude to her sexuality (Elwurd and Gaegrl) or her business (Rxsell and Skalpr), it's potential that none of these are her actual name.