The Alternian calendar used by trolls to measure the passing of time is as alien and inscrutable to the human mind as any other part of their culture.
Many terms used on human calendars, such as the year, were initially similarly unfamiliar to trolls, with Karkat Vantas assuming one might only last “TWO WEEKS OR SOMETHING?” After several of these years spent communicating with humans on a meteor or in dream bubbles, however, these human terms have found their way into troll conversation.[1]
Solar sweep[]
The solar sweep is the longest known unit of Alternian time (though hundreds of these might be called “centuries”). Its name suggests that it refers to one Alternian 'sweep' around the sun, or what would be called an "Alternian year" in human English.
“For convenient reference”, six Alternian solar sweeps are equivalent to thirteen Earth years; which is to say that a group of four 13 year old humans would be the same age as 12 6 sweep old trolls. As such, a solar sweep is roughly 2.1666... Earth years long, or around 26 Earth months.
Years can easily be converted to sweeps with the equation (where S is the number of sweeps and Y is the number of years), and can be used to convert sweeps back into years. This handy tool has also been created to do it for you.
Subdivisions of the sweep[]
Trolls have not been known to measure time in months (which may be more complex for a world with two moons; see lunar events below); however, troll calendars do seem to be separated into blocks of roughly 30 days, with names like Culluary suggesting a similarity to Earth's months. They are familiar with measures of weeks and - curiously, despite being largely nocturnal - days. One day in their week seems to be called Nubday.[image?]
In terms of smaller measures of time, Trollian memos are dated in hours consisting of 60 minutes. Though it is not clear exactly how long an Alternian hour or minute might be, a clock in Xefros' hive has at least 18 symbols around its face.
Trolls also have a "horoscope" (which on Earth comes from words meaning hour watcher) consisting of “48 SIGNS”, though it is not explicitly clear that all 48 of these signs divide evenly into a year as they do on Earth.
Seasons[]
Alternia has dark seasons and dim seasons. During its dark seasons, it “remains dusk for most of the day”; within the conventional physics of our universe, this is only really possible for locations extremely close to the poles (see Alternia#Geography if you want to figure that out for yourself), which might imply the existence of bright seasons during the opposite time of year. However, there are also at least six dark seasons and two dim seasons; though it is not explicitly clear that a seasonal cycle starts at the beginning of a solar sweep, it may be that the conventional physics of our universe just do not apply to Alternia.
There are at least three "“4UTUMN”s" on Alternia. This may be an alternate name for a dim season; however, given that Terezi Pyrope uses the term to refer to the appearance of the surrounding flora, it is also possible that this is an ecological season which does not strictly have to line up with a calendar or astronomical period of time.
Events[]
Wriggling day[]
A wriggling day is the anniversary of a troll's “larval awakening”; though this ambiguous nomenclature might indicate that it is an anniversary of a troll's pupation (see Troll#Life cycle and reproduction), its overall purpose seems equivalent to that of a human birthday.
Twelfth Perigee's Eve[]
12th Perigee's Eve, often simply called the Perigee's Eve or sometimes just the Eve, is essentially the Alternian calendar's equivalent to Christmas. Its celebration involves the lusus of a hive bringing in the leaving (droppings) of a creature called a behemoth - a search which can sometimes take days - and the troll cooperating with their lusus to decorate it, though different hives may celebrate in different ways.
A Perigee's Eve is apparently a sweeply event. Since there appear to be many, many seasonal perigees on the Alternian calendar, this throws the alignment between a solar sweep and a seasonal cycle into further question (see dating below).
In Paradox Space (Dubiously Canon)[]
Secret Sufferer tells of the titular “S3CR3T SUFF3R3R” tradition commonly held on the Perigee's Eve, revealing that, much like the connection between Earth's Christmas and the prophet Jesus Christ, 12th Perigee's Eve commemorates events relating to the revolutionary known as the Sufferer. The story of the Secret Sufferer relates that after the Sufferer's E%ecutor failed to execute his Disciple, “The Sufferer's Followers Would Routinely And Anonymously Send Dangerous And Threatening Gifts To The Highbloods As A Way To Remind Them That The Sufferer's Lessons Were Still Being Taught.” This became a tradition of anonymous gift-giving on 12th Perigee's Eve, which was carried out by Karkat Vantas and his friends back when they still had a thirteenth member among them.
Lunar[]
A perigee is the moment an object is closest (peri-) to the Earth (-gee), while an apogee is the moment it is furthest (apo-). Because of its two moons, Alternia has bilunar perigees; though this implies there are also single-moon perigees, these are not referred to.
Though the fandom has widely interpreted a perigee as a period of time equivalent to a month on Earth, in the real world a perigee is strictly a single moment, and there must necessarily be a wide margin of time between two perigees. That being said, it is not strictly impossible that trolls use the word "perigee" to describe the span of time between two astronomical perigees. However, the way the word perigee is used implies in the comic a different purpose (see dating below).
The night of an apogee is, predictably, one of the darker nights of a season. Wording implies that each season may only have one of these, though it is not clear if these apogees are strictly bilunar.
Equinox[]
An equinox is the day during which the light hours and dark hours last an equal amount of time; from equi-, equal, and -nox, night. Since “it remains dusk for most of the day” during a dark season, it doesn't really seem possible for a “dark season's equinox” to exist, but the Alternian use of the word equinox must be a little different, because both dark season's and “dim season's equinox”es exist. Go figure.
Dating[]
Because no explicit equivalent of a month exists on Alternia, trolls do not date events in the same way we date them on Earth. With all the above information in mind, it might be assumed that they date things in a whimsical and nonsensical alien way. This assumption would be correct.
Karkat's wriggling day is on the 12th bilunar perigee of the 6th dark season's equinox. The real-world date on which this page was published, much like John Egbert's birthday debut on April 13, was June 12. The implication is that 12 bilunar perigees into 6 dark season's equinoxes is "equivalent" to 12 days into the 6th month of the year; i.e. an Alternian date 12/6 means the same thing as 6/12 in American date notation.
This is further implied to be the case in Andrew Hussie's commentary on the printed version of Mindfang's diary entry for the 14th bilunar perigee of the 2nd dim season's equinox. He states that "there's a nod to the date up at the top: 2nd dim season, 14th bilunar perigee. 2/14."[2]
If the above is true, it might be assumed that a bilunar perigee is equivalent to a day on Earth (which is technically possible if both moons have quite a fast orbit, with orbital periods that add up to a single day) and a seasonal equinox is equal to a month (only possible if trolls use the word equinox in an incredibly dubious way). As such, an Earth date, such as Jane Crocker's April 13 birthday, might easily be converted into an Alternian date by rephrasing it as the 13th bilunar perigee of the 4th X season's equinox - with the main question being which months are dark seasons and which are dim seasons.
It is also highly plausible that this has no in-universe significance, and that, as Hussie describes it, these perigee and seasonal equinox numbers are merely "a nod" to the Earth date when the pages in question were published. This explanation still, though, leaves many questions. If trolls commemorate days based on the lunar or solar events that take place on those days, it is not known what other events might be used to form the Alternian calendar - the existence of a "perigee's eve" and a single reference to an apogee are the only available clues. In short, the troll calendar “SURE IS WEIRD”.
References[]
- ↑ Openbound part 1. “LATULA: h4t3 to b3 4 buzzk1ll but... 1ts b33n wh4t.
LATULA: 4pprox1m4t3ly H3LLA y34rz s1nc3 1 d1d 4ny f1ght1ng????” - ↑ Andrew Hussie. "Here it is. Mindfang's journal starts off with a bang, jumping right into the dubcon pirate erotica, in case you were nervous Homestuck might totally drop the ball by never including such content. This is...A Lot. It's a bit like Rose's wizardfic, in that it's such an intense read, there just isn't much left to say about it that wouldn't pulverize the tattered remains of your brain into a fine mush, rendering you unable to appreciate the rest of my incredible notes. Probably the best thing to point out here is that this was posted on Valentine's Day. Just a little something special for all the lovebirds out there. Yikes, I sure wish I hadn't just said that. Anyway, there's a nod to the date up at the top: 2nd dim season, 14th bilunar perigee. 2/14." Homestuck: Book 6: Act 5 Act 2 Part 2, p. 327. January 20, 2013.