Cans is the fifteenth member of the Felt.
Concept and creation[]
Cans' hat is designed after the maroon-striped billiard ball numbered 15. His name is phonetically similar to quinze, the French name for the number fifteen.
Biography[]
Caliborn's session[]
Cans originated on a planet colored like a maroon-striped billiard ball, formed when the Battlefield in Caliborn's session exploded. Caliborn was awarded Cans as his last follower, when he destroyed the planet by sending it into the black hole formed by the Battlefield's death.
Cans is by far Caliborn's favorite minion, as he has type of power he admires the most, which is being a huge strong guy with enormous powerful muscles. He is seen riding on Cans' shoulder while doing the eighth planet's mission, when suddenly John Egbert pops up from his trip through canonspace, and after he has an INTENSE STAREDOWN with Caliborn, Cans swoops in and clocks John out of the panel.
Intermission - original timeline[]
The last surviving member of the Felt to reveal himself, Cans makes an entrance in a display of prodigious strength, bursting through the wall Kool-Aid Man style
before hitting Diamonds Droog a week into the future - where DD finds himself in the middle of grocery shopping - and Hearts Boxcars into another calendar year entirely.
Intermission - unfavorable timeline[]
Cans is deceased in the timeline Spades Slick arrives in after prying open Lord English's vault.
Act 6[]
Slick later resurrects Cans by pulling his pin from Die's doll, and went on to fight In Collide. Cans aimed to fight Jake English, but was intercepted by Arquiusprite and proceeded to fight him across numerous locations in the Alpha session. Cans demonstrated that his powers could simply teleport individuals by knocking them from one panel to the next without any component of time travel. Eventually Cans fought and was defeated by Jane's Dad.
Skills and abilities[]
Cans has the ability to literally “punch[...]you into next week” or further, sending his opponents flying through time and other dimensions with each attack with a CLOCK.[image?]
On Snapchat and in Homestuck: Beyond Canon (Dubiously Canon)[]
Jane Crocker putting in “some serious man-hours”.
With Slick killed in action following the conclusion of Homestuck, for leadership Cans and the rest of the Felt turn to the other Jack Noir, who instructs them to begin construction on a new Felt Manor on the Land of Frost and Frogs. When Crowbar discovers new territory in the form of the door to Universe C, Cans joins the rest of the gang once more in Biscuits' oven; when one of the oven's makeshift rockets explodes, however, the gang is stranded on Earth C's Moon, where Jane Crocker takes them captive in an attempt to escape from anti-human terrorists. Piling into the oven herself, Jane leaves Cans outside, hoping for him to punch her into next week so that he might take the blast of the assassination attempt in her stead.
Cans either survived or was otherwise unceremoniously resurrected via leprechaun time shenanigans, however, and was subsequently put back to work by Jane in constructing a “contingency plan” in the form of an immense laser capable of firing upon the Earth.
Lord English • Doc Scratch • 1 Itchy • 2 Doze • 3 Trace • 4 Clover • 5 Fin • 6 Die • 7 Crowbar • 8 Snowman • 9 Stitch • 10 Sawbuck • 11 Matchsticks • 12 Eggs • 13 Biscuits • 14 Quarters • 15 Cans