Clown pontificate

Clown bard

First AppearanceMspa icon


Clown Kingdom


Slapping, Pies, and Floppy Shoes

Clowns are the citizens of one of the four great kingdoms on the other side of the imaginary universe. Their general life involves making pies and placing them on windowsills in Small Cottages, mining for Pie Filling, wearing Floppy Shoes, and slapping the rumps of hogs. Clowns, being a fierce entertainment force, have a valiant Bard who fights for justice while doing incendiary Lute Solos.

Most of the political strife stems from Mobster Kingpin's Quest of Spirit, encouraging the clowns to be more proactive about their rump slapping, which make the hogs very displeased.

The clowns are aligned with Mobster Kingpin and granted him a boon when he completed his Quest of Spirit, which allowed him to pass through the clown bust and gain awareness of his Female Alter Ego.

Clown PontificateEdit

The Clown Pontificate is one of the four characters that oversee Problem Sleuth as he tries to solve the plight of the four kingdoms. He is last seen summoned in DMK's Combat Operandi, Clownstorm, where he uses his legendary Hamper Of The Jaded Fool's Ennui.

Role in HomestuckEdit

In Homestuck clowns are apparently notoriously difficult to kill for reasons that basically don't make any senseSburb Logo. According to Caliborn, THE RULES ARE. CLOWNS CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT. BECAUSE OF MIRACLES. AND HOLD NO ACCOUNTABILITY FOR THEIR DEEDS.Sburb Logo It should be noted that the clowns which appear in the Problem Sleuth adventure do not show up in Homestuck.


  • Clowns are also made of sumptuous clown meat.
  • Gamzee Makara, whose title is Bard of Rage, is a reference to the Clown Bard. This is probably also a Bard Quest reference as well (especially because of the class's codpiece).
  • The Clowns' alignment with Mobster Kingpin is later paralleled by Gamzee's alignment to Caliborn.
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