Crockercorp, more commonly known by the name of its founder Betty Crocker, is a global corporation founded by the Condesce in disguise as a human woman on Earth. On the 11th of November, 2011, post-scratch, the company officially rebranded, replacing their famous red spoon logo with that of a red fork, and began to set in place a series of events that would result in the flooding of the planet
.
History[]
Alternia[]
Though the Betty Crocker alias was not yet in use during the Condesce's rule over the trolls, “FRUIT TROLLUPS” credited to a “Troll Crocker” (represented by a grey spoon with orange horns) can be obtained in Alterniabound. It is unclear whether the Condesce took inspiration from this Crocker for her human disguise, or if Alternia's Crocker company was simply an early business venture of the Condesce's own.
Earth[]
Pre-scratch[]
Crockercorp logo
In the pre-scratch instance of our universe, The Condesce came to Earth at some point before 1910 (the year of Nanna's arrival), founded the Betty Crocker pastry empire, and married Colonel Sassacre. When Nanna's meteor arrived, the Colonel adopted her. Eight days later, Grandpa arrived on his meteor, and accidentally shot Sassacre by dual-mishandling flintlock pistols. The baroness raised both children, telling them that they were the natural-born children of herself and the late Colonel. They both considered her to be a rather wicked woman and did not get along with her.
Though raised by the baroness, the two followed in the footsteps of her late husband, learning the ways of pranksterism. However, their interests drifted apart, and at the age of 13 Grandpa ran off with their dog, Halley, in search of adventure. Out of fear of the baroness, Nanna stayed behind, instead deciding to defy her wicked mother by mastering the baking arts that she taught her, hoping to one day surpass her evil mentor.
Jade's Dreambot imprinted with a Crocker logo by Grandpa.
During the years Nanna' spent as Crocker's pupil, she uncovered many dirty secrets about her, most alarmingly the fact that she was not human.
The baroness later revealed to Nanna that she and her brother were not truly related, but destined to be married and produce a pair of children who would save the world, and that she had gone to extensive lengths to prevent such happening. That day, Nanna swore to bring down the baroness and her evil empire by using the many secrets she'd learned over the years against her, and began carefully plotting her downfall. However, before her plan could be put into action, the baroness simply vanished one day without a trace. Presumably, she traveled to the post-scratch instance of our universe, to take up the company there.
The pastry empire was then bequeathed not to Nanna, but to Grandpa, who integrated it into his already extensive business empire. Thus, during John's lifetime, Betty Crocker is owned by Skaianet. John resents Betty Crocker, tired of his Dad's cakes and disgusted by her ownership of the Gushers brand. He is unaware of the relationship between Crocker and his family.
Upsettingly, she is responsible for Dave's premature access to the Insane Clown Posse song Miracles, which ultimately lead to Gamzee's religious upheaval and "termination" of pre-scratch Earth.
Post-scratch[]
Three Crocker Drones, seen in [S] END OF ACT 6 INTERMISSION 1.
The Condesce arrives on post-scratch Earth in a similar fashion to her arrival on pre-scratch Earth, also founding the Betty Crocker company, marrying Sassacre, and adopting Grandma and Poppop. As neither arrived wielding pistols, the cause of the Colonel's death is unknown. However, it is known that his stuffed corpse was kept in the living room while Poppop and Grandma grew up, as was family tradition. On post-scratch Earth, Grandma is the one to run away from home, while Poppop stayed behind and followed in Sassacre's footsteps to become a famous comedian. Grandma at some point found out that the one thing the Condesce feared was her master, Lord English, so she took his name and started a competing tech company heavily branded to resemble him, with green skulls and garish colors. This company, also under the name of Skaianet, ultimately went bankrupt, forcing Grandma into exile, where she was eventually murdered by the Condesce.
The post-scratch Betty Crocker company is more tech-oriented than its pre-scratch counterpart. As described by Jane, "it releases many products of an experimental nature, often with applicability to other kinds of technology and products which haven't hit the market yet." The company, having overthrown Skaianet, is responsible for several equivalents of products that would have been made by Skaianet on pre-scratch Earth, including the Alpha release of Sburb, and the BettyBother client (though, with its numerous ads and subliminal messaging, BettyBother is hardly competitive with Pesterchum).
Jane Crocker, unlike John on pre-scratch Earth, is aware of her connections to the company, and is eagerly awaiting to inherit it once she turns eighteen. She refers to the Batterwitch as her great-great-grandmother, but believes her to be dead, as she would have been nearly 200 years old by now.
Many clues to the Batterwitch's identity were given throughout Acts 5 and 6:
- Her imperial symbol
strongly resembles the Betty Crocker logo and is an exact match to the rebranded Betty Crocker logo on 11/11/11. - Sburb Alpha was released on "2x3prong Day". The Condesce and her descendant both use the 2x3dentkind strife specibus, reserved only for troll royalty.
- Jane Crocker owns an Unreal Heiress Thoughtwave Tiaratop produced by Betty Crocker that is emblazoned with a Pisces symbol.
- Her formal title is The Baroness, which fits with the eight-letter naming scheme of troll ancestors.
- The Battleship Condescension has the same initials as Betty Crocker.
- A BettyBother pop-up inviting users to 'Be the first to visit Mars' features the Battleship Condescension in the Martian sky.
- The term "Batterwitch" used by several of the kids can be seen as a hint. Her descendant, Feferi, was the Witch of Life in the post-scratch troll's session. Though Meenah Peixes happens to be the Thief of Life, this was not revealed at the time of the term's first use.
It is still unknown, however, how the Condesce was in both the pre-scratch and post-scratch kids' universes, as well as their post-scratch session. It may have been facilitated by her employer, Lord English.
Earth C[]
A version of Crockercorp continued to be run by former heiress Jane after the Condesce's defeat.
Products[]
Though best known for its baked goods and other confections, Crockercorp was also at the forefront of Earth's technology industry.
Gristwidget 12000 Prototype[]
The Gristwidget 12000 accepts Captchalogue Cards and Boondollars. When a card is inserted, it displays a value in Boondollars. Inserting that many Boondollars and activating the Gristwidget results in the item being converted into grist. Converting items into Grist is already possible within Sburb, but this requires the help of a server player. While more expensive, the Gristwidget 12000 is more convenient for players on the go.
Unreal Heiress Thoughtwave Tiaratop[]
The Unreal Heiress Thoughtwave Tiaratop appears to be a sort of portable computer that mingles fast processor speeds and the wearer's thoughts. However, wearing it for too long tends to cause migraines, and may make the user OBEY susceptible to DIE Crockercorp propaganda. It should be noted that the Pisces zodiac sign is located in the center of the Tiaratop, bearing resemblance to Feferi and the Condesce. It also looks exactly like Feferi's tiara, except red.
Near the end of Act 6 Act 5 Act 1 x2 Her Imperious Condecension uses the Tiaratop to control Jane Crocker.
Mouse Toy[]
Jane once used a small Crocker-brand toy mouse to summon and distract the God Cat; whether the mouse has some special properties specifically for appealing to GCat or if it simply draws all cats in typical mouse fashion is not entirely clear.
On Snapchat (Dubiously Canon)[]
Jane's Crockercorp continued to manufactured new products similar to those the Condesce produced. Among these were the transportalizers used by corporate employees such as herself, and necklaces resembling the Condesce's Unreal Heiress Thoughtwave Tiaratop in both form and function.
In The Homestuck Epilogues (Dubiously Canon)[]
Jane Crocker was backed up in her dictatorship of Earth C by her corporation, which began to produce many of the military products it had formerly produced under the Condesce, such as drones and battleships.
