Dirk Strider

Canon • Dubiously Canon

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In Paradox Space

Ace Sleuth Jane

After Jane Crocker sleuths her home extensively in search of a missing sandwich, Dirk admits that he was the thief, but that he was “way sorrier about [it] before this whole detective bit.”

Cherub Charitable

Dirk participates in Christmas giving along with the rest of his team, receiving a copy of Rose Lalonde's Complacency of the Learned in exchange for “one of those hella sweet posters he keeps goin on about.”

In Pesterquest

Whispering gods, memories sifted from dreams, cryptic readings from unearthed talismans, conclusions drawn from riddles deciphered - every gambit you'd expect the Internet to extend to an emerging wiki.

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In Volume 14: 'Just Go Ahead Now', the player meets Dirk with some apprehension, having had their memories of him restored by Aradia Megido. Dirk exhibits some knowledge of the workings of canon, and predicts certain steps in the player's friend-courting rituals before they happen, making the player feel that the process has become stilted and telegraphed. Dirk's Ultimate Self from the future of The Homestuck Epilogues appears and attempts to seduce the younger Dirk down the path that will lead to his existence. The player prevents this by uniting Dirk with a version of Dave Strider from the Epilogues' Candy volume, who convinces Dirk not to go through with it. The victory screen shows the pair joking around.^[image?]

Afterw@rd

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On Snapchat

From the reader's point of view, Dirk's Snapchat story picks up where his Canon biography ended.

Dave dresses as Sweet Bro to match Dirk's Hella Jeff Halloween costume.

In The Homestuck Epilogues

Whispering gods, memories sifted from dreams, cryptic readings from unearthed talismans, conclusions drawn from riddles deciphered - every gambit you'd expect the Internet to extend to an emerging wiki.

This page is in need of citations and sources for its information. You can help MS Paint Adventures Wiki by finding suitable sources and adding citations for them.

Upon realizing his Ultimate Self, Dirk Strider becomes fully aware of John Egbert's significance to Homestuck's narrative, and utilizes this to exert his own influence.

• Meat
• Candy

Meat

Dirk Strider
“A competent political operative has his ways.”
Age	23 (Prologue)[citation needed] 39 (Candy, Postscript)[citation needed]
Pesterlogs
1 3 4 5 6 7 Meat: Epilogue One Chapter 2 Chapter 5 Chapter 7 Meat: Epilogue Three Chapter 14 Chapter 16 Meat: Epilogue Four Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Meat: Epilogue Five Chapter 29 Chapter 32 Meat: Epilogue Six Chapter 37 Meat: Epilogue Seven Chapter 39

Teen Dirk

John, using his retcon powers to zap from the epilogues back into the story proper, recruits god tier Dirk from some unknown point in canon for the mission to fight Lord English. He then brings Dirk, along with the other teen beta and alpha kids, to his own backyard on April 6th, 2009. As John gets lost in nostalgia, the beta kids ask John what happens to everyone in the retconned timelines. John struggles to answer, but gives a lukewarm speech about sacrifice. The group then begins a messy planning session for the coming battle. Dirk goes over to help Jake, who had been riding on the Green Slime Ghost Pogo and fell off. John walks away for a while as everyone reunites. When he returns, he decides it's time for the group to head out. Everyone get up, hold hands in a circle, and zap away.

They find themselves in a strange place which is “dark as fuck.” Jade quickly sniffs out Caliborn, who has an intense staredown with John, brags about his “MASTERPIECE”, and laughs at them all as the fight begins. Not many details are given of the ensuing battle, but the narration seems to indicate the kids put up more of a fight against the cherub than the initial claymation implied. Caliborn eventually feels overwhelmed and unleashes the ultimate weapon on the four beta kids, much to their shock. They all get sucked into it almost instantaneously, and Caliborn laughs at them as he returns the Juju to the chest and closes it. The four alpha kids are left to fight Caliborn presumably as was shown in A6A6A5, aside from the fact that the Juju chest apparently remains on the scene at least through the robotic horses appearing. The details of this fight are also left vague.

Adult Dirk

In the Meat timeline of The Homestuck Epilogues, Dirk gains a state of being known as the Ultimate Self. This state essentially provide him near-omniscience, allowing him to communicate with the reader and other characters present in his reality through the narrative, much the same way as the Exiles communicated with Sburb players during Homestuck.

Aware of Homestuck's nature as a story, and corrupted by his fear of everything fading into irrelevance, Dirk has manipulated the timeline in many ways, such as: swinging Earth C's presidency to Jane's favor as opposed to Karkat; "helping" John defeat Lord English and bring Terezi back to Earth C; encouraging the "canonization of Davekat", a matespritship of Karkat and Dave; and, most notably, facilitate the next session of Sburb.

All events aforementioned ultimately lead to accomplishing the latter. The political drama provides ample distraction to those who could intervene (save for Alternate Calliope, whom is easily aware of his meddling), and bringing Terezi home appears to be crucial in his plan—albeit for yet undisclosed reasons—as he coerces her to accompany him.

Over time, he also coerces Rose based on her increasing realization of her own Ultimate Self and his understanding of such power. Through Dirk, she is able to safely transcend with mechanical applications, as he bestows her the title of "Rosebot." Further, he convinces both her and Kanaya that their marriage was loveless and simply a stepping stone for their individual development, primarily through influencing their thoughts with his narrative powers, which both primes Rose to leave her sentiment willingly and prevents Kanaya from seriously intervening.

Meanwhile, Jake is forced by Dirk to submit all feelings to himself, eventually becoming brainwashed after intense, repetitive mental coercion, although Dirk laments this was unintentional. This allows Dirk to garner a spacecraft for departing off-world permanently, both to flee from Alternate Calliope's influence and to seek a planet suitable for housing the next Sburb session. He leaves without anyone able to stop him before it is too late.

He is last seen in Postscript on the ship taking them to a new M-class planet, alongside Rosebot and Terezi, who currently has captchalogued the corpse of John Egbert.

Candy

Dirk Strider
“Lengthy diatribes are over too. They’re canceled.”
Age	23[citation needed] (deceased)
Pesterlogs
1 P.S. Candy: Epilogue One Chapter 3 Candy: Postscript Postscript

Past

After John Egbert elects not to participate in beating Lord English, he zaps back into canon to retrieve Gamzee Makara, arriving in front of Dirk and Dave Strider right as they embrace following an intense heart-to-heart. Dirk notices him arrive, but turns back away without saying anything.

Shortly after John selects candy, he zaps back into canon to retrieve Gamzee Makara, appearing in the scene where Dave and Dirk are embracing after their intense heart-to-heart. John sneaks over to the fridge, not wanting to interrupt the moment.

Present

After John brings Gamzee to Earth C, present-day Dirk feels that something is very different in the timeline, and has an intense psychosomatic reaction. After collapsing against a wall, he calls Jane, ordering her to cancel her presidential bid. She expresses concern for his uncharacteristic behavior, but he brushes off her questions and hangs up. He then texts Jake to cancel their television stunts and blocks him.

After writing a note, he hangs himself publicly in Can Town, confirming a Just death based on his self-hatred and unjust narrative intentions. He claims his Death to be 'the last act of Relevance' the Timeline will ever see, alluding to his knowledge of the Timeline Split, and foreshadowing the reveal of his Ultimate Ascension prior to the events of the Epilogues.

In Homestuck: Beyond Canon

• Meat
• Candy

Meat

Dirk Strider
“Surprise, bitch.”
Age	27
Pesterlogs
Prologue 4 10 HS2: Prologue ==> (2 pp.) ==> (11 pp.) Dirk: Get this show on the road. (3 pp.) Chapter 4 ==> (3pp.) ==> (17 pp.) Chapter 10 ==>

“Three years” on from departure from Earth C, Dirk drafts and writes Homestuck: Beyond Canon from his room aboard the battleship Theseus, accompanied by his crew of Rosebot and Terezi Pyrope, the latter of whom communicates with him via command station.^{[citation needed]}

Eventually, it became clear that Rose's engineered species would be aquatic while Dirk's remained terrestrial, so the team's base of operations was transported “(via Bullshit, of course)” to a location straddling the land and the sea.

Though things have been “happening again” ever since Dirk put his plans of godhood into motion on Earth, they begin to happen again especially so as his competition with Rose draws to a close, with the final version of his engineered species ready to be unveiled and Terezi's role as judge ready to begin. Though he had intended for Terezi to guide the new races via command terminal, by “[popping] in every couple hundred years” over the course of their ~10,000 year history, to his disappointment she chose to automate this process via “automated suggestions [with a] conditional map that prompts them”. Because simply skipping ahead the ten thousand years would allow Dirk's pursuers to instantaneously catch up with him, he instead makes plans to “envelop the local galaxy group in a pocket of [his] influence and narratively accelerate it via Bullshit so that whatever's going on in [there] goes on faster”.

When Dirk senses that Rose is becoming disinterested in their work, he seems to consider enacting his manipulations on her directly, but is interrupted when Rose expresses gratitude for the opportunities he has given her, and the two look over the planet of their design with a familial understanding.

Gallery

Dirk's trollsona intact.

Dirk's trollsona deteriorated.

Dirk rendered in a "more age-appropriate manner".

Candy

Dirk Strider
“All according to keikaku. It worked. Congratulations.”
AKA	brain ghost Dirk
Pesterlogs
1 9 13 Catnapped Chapter 1 (==>) (2 pp.) (==>) (==>) (2 pp.) Chapter 9 (==>) (4 pp.) Chapter 13 (==>) (==>) ? ==> (5 pp.)

Following his death in The Homestuck Epilogues, Dirk appears only in his brain ghost form to Jake English. After saving the middle-aged man from a nightmarish monster in a dream, he accompanies Jake back to the real world, where he suggests that Jake use the pretense of getting back together to spy on Jane Crocker for Karkat Vantas's increasingly influential rebellion.^{[citation needed]}

This brain ghost Dirk feels that the Meat Volume's Dirk has been taking all the attention for Dirks for himself.^{[citation needed]}