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TabberCanonGrayedCanon • TabberDubcanonDubiously Canon

Guy Fieri is a television personality working for Food Network, or rather, he was before he became a member of the U.S. Supreme CourtHS; unfortunately he was soon to be the only member of said court. He was a supporter of the Condesce, and his rise to power began shortly before she revealed herself to humanity.

He helped the Condesce rewrite the constitution to form an incomprehensible patchwork of fascism, theocratic mandates, recipes, and bad rap lyrics, and eventually weaseled his way up the ranks to become the High Chaplain of Interstellar War.

He was also a key architect of the Hilarocaust, a genocidal program devised by the Insane Clown Posse, the Dual-Presidents of the United States, to purge all those deemed insufficiently mirthful. Fieri was the head of the death camps and personally oversaw the deaths of five billion people. Because of this, he came to be regarded as the third and final Antichrist.HS

He met his end at the hands of Mom, who rode him down the "bloody falls" like the fat barrel he was.

Real LifeEdit

Guy Fieri is an author and television host, and has (as far as we can tell) no genocidal tendencies. It should be noted that he has a relatively obvious marketing contract with Betty Crocker; some of his own brands cooking tools are sold on the Betty Crocker store, and several of his recipes feature Betty Crocker ingredients. Most years, he has a booth at the Sonoma County Fair (also the Harvest Festival), and can sometimes be spotted walking around the carnival.

TriviaEdit

  • In the first Openbound game, Dave unknowingly makes a parallel between Guy Fieri and Crocker. He comments on Meenah being the dancestor to some dead girl he never met, namely Feferi. However, he misinterprets her name as Fieri or something.
  • The "bloody falls" in which he was killed is a photoshopped image of Niagara Falls.

GalleryEdit


Homestuck Characters
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Kids
Heir of Breath Breath Aspect Seer of Light Light Aspect Knight of Time Time Aspect Witch of Space Space Aspect
JohnLogo John Egbert RoseLogo Rose Lalonde DaveLogoSlashed Dave Strider JadeLogo Jade Harley
ectoBiologist [EB]
ghostyTrickster [GT]
tentacleTherapist [TT] turntechGodhead [TG] gardenGnostic [GG]
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Kids
Maid of Life Life Aspect Rogue of Void Void Aspect Prince of Heart Heart Aspect Page of Hope Hope Aspect
JaneLogo Jane Crocker RoxyLogo Roxy Lalonde DirkLogo Dirk Strider JakeLogo Jake English
gutsyGumshoe [GG] tipsyGnostalgic [TG] timaeusTestified [TT] golgothasTerror [GT]
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Trolls
Maid of Time Time Aspect Page of Breath Breath Aspect Mage of Doom Doom Aspect Knight of Blood Blood Aspect
Aries Aradia Megido Taurus Tavros Nitram Gemini Sollux Captor Cancer Karkat Vantas
apocalypseArisen [AA] adiosToreador [AT] twinArmageddons [TA] carcinoGeneticist [CG]
Rogue of Heart Heart Aspect Sylph of Space Space Aspect Seer of Mind Mind Aspect Thief of Light Light Aspect
Leo Nepeta Leijon Virgo Kanaya Maryam Libra Terezi Pyrope Scorpio Vriska Serket
arsenicCatnip [AC] grimAuxiliatrix [GA] gallowsCalibrator [GC] arachnidsGrip [AG]
Heir of Void Void Aspect Bard of Rage Rage Aspect Prince of Hope Hope Aspect Witch of Life Life Aspect
Sagittarius Equius Zahhak Capricorn Gamzee Makara Aquarius Eridan Ampora Pisces Feferi Peixes
centaursTesticle [CT] terminallyCapricious [TC] caligulasAquarium [CA] cuttlefishCuller [CC]
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Trolls
Witch of Time Time Aspect Rogue of Breath Breath Aspect Heir of Doom Doom Aspect Seer of Blood Blood Aspect
Aries Damara Megido Taurus Rufioh Nitram Gemini Mituna Captor Kankri Vantas
Mage of Heart Heart Aspect Maid of Space Space Aspect Knight of Mind Mind Aspect Sylph of Light Light Aspect
Leo Meulin Leijon Virgo Porrim Maryam Libra Latula Pyrope Scorpio Aranea Serket
Page of Void Void Aspect Prince of Rage Rage Aspect Bard of Hope Hope Aspect Thief of Life Life Aspect
Sagittarius Horuss Zahhak Capricorn Kurloz Makara Aquarius Cronus Ampora Pisces Meenah Peixes
Cherubs
Muse of Space Space Aspect Lord of Time Time Aspect
Calliope symbol Calliope (Alt) Caliborn symbol Caliborn
uranianUmbra [UU] undyingUmbrage [uu]
Guardians
Dad Roxy Lalonde
(pre-scratch)
Dirk Strider
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Becquerel
God Cat Rose Lalonde
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Dave Strider
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Brobot
Supporting
Characters
Jane Egbert Jaspers Lil Cal Jake Harley
John Crocker Mutie Lil Hal Jade English
Sprites
Nannasprite Jaspersprite Calsprite
Davesprite
Jadesprite
Tavrisprite
Gcatavrosprite
Fefetasprite
Jasprosesprite^2
Arquiusprite Erisolsprite
Davepetasprite^2
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Exiles
Wayward Vagabond Peregrine Mendicant Aimless Renegade Windswept Questant Writ Keeper
Agents
Jack Noir (B2) (Dead Session) Draconian Dignitary (B2) Hegemonic Brute Courtyard Droll
Midnight Crew
Spades Slick Diamonds Droog Hearts Boxcars Clubs Deuce
The Felt
Lord English Doc Scratch Snowman
Denizens
Typheus Cetus Hephaestus Echidna
Hemera Nix Yaldabaoth Abraxas
Consorts
Salamanders Turtles Crocodiles Iguanas
Underlings
Imps Ogres Basilisks Liches Giclopses
Other Black QueenBlack KingSkaian armiesGenesis FrogLususAncestors (The Condesce)HorrorterrorsBetty CrockerColonel SassacreCaseyGuy FieriInsane Clown PosseMaplehoofRambunctious CrowHalleySerenityMSPA ReaderMs. PaintAndrew HussieSawtoothSquarewaveHis Honorable TyrannyCalliope and Caliborn's parentsAngelsCanon fan trolls

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