| Guy Fieri
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|---|---|---|
 He was an especially degenerate piece of filth. 
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Age |
Born January 22nd, 1968 | |
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Relations |
The Condesce - Employer | |
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Live(s) in |
Formerly Ohio; Washington, D.C. | |
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Earth | ||
He helped the Condesce rewrite the constitution to form an incomprehensible patchwork of fascism, theocratic mandates, recipes, and bad rap lyrics, and eventually weaseled his way up the ranks to become the High Chaplain of Interstellar War.
He was also a key architect of the Hilarocaust, a genocidal program devised by the Insane Clown Posse, the Dual-Presidents of the United States, to purge all those deemed insufficiently mirthful. Fieri was the head of the death camps and personally oversaw the deaths of five billion people. Because of this, he came to be regarded as the third and final Antichrist.
He met his end at the hands of Mom, who rode him down the "bloody falls" like the fat barrel he was.
Real Life
Edit
Guy Fieri is an author and television host, and has (as far as we can tell) no genocidal tendencies. It should be noted that he has a relatively obvious marketing contract with Betty Crocker; some of his own brands cooking tools are sold on the Betty Crocker store, and several of his recipes feature Betty Crocker ingredients. He also has two restaurants, located in Santa Rosa, California - Tex Wasabi's and Johnny Garlic's. Most years, he has a booth at the Sonoma County Fair (also the Harvest Festival), and can sometimes be spotted walking around the carnival.
He has been seen posing with two carrots as if they were his horns; it was unclear if it was a reference to Homestuck.
TriviaEdit
- In the first Openbound game, Dave unknowingly makes a parallel between Guy Fieri and Crocker. He comments on Meenah being the dancestor to some dead girl he never met, namely Feferi. However, he misinterprets her name as Fieri or something.
- The "bloody falls" in which he was killed is just a photoshopped image(s) of Niagara Falls.
GalleryEdit
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