The Ham Needle is a giant needle with a ham impaled on it in the middle of the Imaginary City Streets with three main purposes:
- Work as giant obstacle for Hysterical Dame and Nervous Broad as they go about their inexplicable whore adventure, trying to get a Fan plugged in for some reason.
- Godhead Pickle Inspector uses it to sew the imaginary universe together, after DMK rips it in half using his Comb Rave, Fill 'Em With Daylight.
- The Ham Needle conveniently stands under where DMK is defeated and also where Mobster Kingpin is ejected on the other side of the imaginary universe from Mount Saint Lardass, impaling him and slaying him once and for all.
This allows Ace Dick to obtain the Megaton Key and lets Team Sleuth go to the Real City Streets.