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Hog Kingdom


Hog Slop and salted melons

Hogs are the citizens of one of the four great kingdoms on the other side of the imaginary universe. Their general life involves cavorting in mud, eating Hog Slop, having low Pulchritude, and enjoying succulent salted melons. Hogs, having a well sense of communion, have an awkward Cleric who can cast an array of healing abilities. Their leader, Porkhearst, was the first instance of the name "Hearst".


AD returning the melons to a hog.

Most of the political steam comes from Ace Dick's Quest of Spirit, which involved stealing salted melons for the Hogs from the Weasels, who promptly Flip the Fuck Out.

The Hogs were aligned with Ace Dick and granted him a boon when he completed his Quest of Spirit, which allowed him to pass through the Hog bust in the pentagram room and gain awareness of his Female Alter Ego.

Hog ProvostEdit

A high-ranking official from the hogs, the Hog Provost is akin to the Weasel Emissary and Elf Exemplar, He is part of the diplomatic entourage that is looking to solve their deeply ingrained feud. The Provost doesn't do much of anything, and merely watches on as Problem Sleuth wades through GameFAQs to solve this complete bullshit.

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