Homestuck Act 1
The Note Desolation Plays
John standing in room
A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!


Page 1Sburb Logo


Page 247Sburb Logo


247 pages


Act 2: Raise of the Conductor's Baton

The first act of Homestuck is titled The Note Desolation PlaysSburb Logo. The act is an introduction to the characters and the setting of the game, following John Egbert's efforts to obtain and play his copy of Sburb up until he enters the Medium. The concepts of captchaloguing, sylladices, and fetch modi are explored.

Click the "Sburb Logo" to open the page from Homestuck.

  • Sburb LogoSburb, a popular but mysterious new computer game, is introduced. John's copy of the game was meant to arrive three days before his birthday but is arriving late.
  • Sburb LogoJohn's distaste for baked goods overdose is revealed.
  • Sburb LogoPesterchum, a major means of communicating in Homestuck, is introduced. John's friends are seen in his contact list: turntechGodhead, tentacleTherapist, and gardenGnostic.
  • Sburb LogoTG messages John and suggests that he check his mail for his copy of Sburb. Upon looking outside, John sees the flag on the mailbox turned up, indicating new mail.
  • Sburb LogoJohn's Dad is first (not) seen, beating John to the mailbox. John gets messaged by TG again. John combines the fake arms with the cake to make them funnier.
  • Sburb LogoJohn allocates his strife specibus with hammerkind.
  • Sburb LogoDad's obsession with harlequins is noted as soon as John exits his bedroom.
  • Sburb LogoNanna is also semi-introduced, though as non-living ashes in an urn, which is promptly toppled.
  • Sburb LogoJohn is given a giant harlequin doll as a gift from his father.
  • Sburb LogoJohn uses the frosting to stick the fake arms to the harlequin doll. TT contacts John while he's getting his fake arms from his room.
  • Sburb LogoJohn peeks into his dad's car and sees a green package and something that looks like a slip of paper.
  • Sburb LogoJohn looks through the kitchen and sees a red package and an envelope with the Sburb logo on it.
  • Sburb LogoJohn enters the kitchen and gets into Strife with his dad.
  • Sburb LogoJohn absconds from the fight, taking the red package, the envelope, and his dad's PDA with him.
  • Sburb LogoWhile installing the beta, John finds a Queue Fetch Modus. This Fetch Modus works like Stack but only allows the user to access the card on the bottom, not the top.
  • Sburb LogoAfter applying the Queue Modus, John realizes he doesn't have a physical card for the Stack Modus. This means he's stuck using Queue.
  • Sburb LogoIn order to get the red package on the bottom card to open, John begins captchaloging items, accidentally breaking his window, smearing a cake on his wall, and sending several of his items into the yard.
  • Sburb LogoJohn finally opens the red package, finding the bunny from Con Air, one of his favorite really terrible movies.
  • Sburb LogoThe Sburb beta finishes installing on John's computer.
  • Sburb LogoTT explains that there are two different disks and players in Sburb; the server and the client. She connects as a server player to John, who only has the client disk.
  • Sburb LogoThe server in Sburb has an array of tools that allow them to alter the reality around their client.
    • Sburb Logo'Select' allows them to select an object and move it around. The client player can't be selected.
    • Sburb Logo'Revise' allows them to revise a room's dimensions, making more floor space, etc.
    • Sburb LogoThe 'Phernalia Registry' holds machines that play a role in the game.
    • Sburb Logo'Deploy' lets the server drop an item from the Registry into the world.
    • Sburb LogoThe 'Grist Cache' tells the server how much grist they have. Grist is a resource in Sburb that are expended when the server uses Revise or Deploy.
    • Sburb LogoThe 'Atheneum' lists all the known configurations of totems made from cruxite dowels and the corresponding item for each totem.
  • Sburb LogoTT puts John's Magic Chest on the roof.
  • Sburb LogoJohn finds his Stack Fetch Modus card on the floor where the chest once stood, allowing him to freely switch between Stack and Queue.
  • Sburb LogoThe server player's abilities are limited to the area around their client. The client must move within range of an area or object in order for the server to manipulate it.
  • Sburb LogoTT revises John's room to have more room in the corner. She deploys the Totem Lathe in this area.
  • Sburb LogoWith John standing in the extended part of his room, TT is able to reach and bring John his copy of Harry Anderson "Wise Guy" and his Dad's PDA.
  • Sburb LogoTT deploys the Cruxtruder in John's living room, unwittingly blocking the front door.
  • Sburb LogoTT deploys the Alchemiter, the last of the freebie machines, on John's balcony.
  • Sburb LogoJohn installs Pesterchum on the PDA, allowing him to communicate with his friends even when not at his computer.
  • Sburb LogoWhile trying to clean up the toilet in the bathroom, TT accidentally rips it out of the floor and puts it in the backyard.
  • Sburb LogoJohn hops down the resulting hole to the utility room, finding a sledgehammer and a blank strife card. By combining the two, he can now access both regular and sledgehammers freely.
  • Sburb LogoTT pulls out the bathtub in the same manner as the toilet. While moving it, her connection is lost, leaving the bathtub in the middle of the hallway.
  • Sburb LogoUsing the sledgehammer (and TT's help), John opens the Cruxtruder, freeing the Kernelsprite and starting a countdown on the machine.
  • Sburb LogoJohn takes a Cruxite Dowel from the Cruxtruder, a Pre-Punched Card from TT, and several of his dad's harlequin statues. Shards of glass he captchalogued earlier are ejected from his sylladex and rip apart his harlequin doll.
  • Sburb LogoTT, reading from a walkthrough that the kernelsprite must be 'prototyped,' drops the doll onto it, merging the two.
  • Sburb LogoJohn places the Cruxite Dowel on the Alchemiter, which scans it and creates 3 Perfectly Generic Objects.
  • Sburb LogoJohn, using a telescope, sees a meteor in the sky, headed straight for his house.
  • Sburb LogoBy sticking the Pre-Punched Card and Cruxite Dowel in the Totem Lathe, John creates a Totem.
  • Sburb LogoWhile trying to move back the bathtub, TT's connection is lost again, barricading John in his bedroom.
  • Sburb LogoThe perspective changes to TT, who is introduced as Rose Lalonde.
  • Sburb LogoRose, seeking higher ground and a better internet signal, goes to the observatory in her house and connects to an unsecure wifi point originating from a lab near her house.
  • Sburb LogoRose removes the door to John's bedroom, puts his bathtub back in the bathroom, and stores the Perfectly Generic Objects in her Phernalia Registry.
  • Sburb LogoJohn uses the Totem with the Alchemiter, creating a Cruxite Apple which lands in his hands just half a minute before the meteor strikes his neighborhood, creating a huge explosion.
  • Sburb LogoThe curtains close on Act 1.
v·d·eHomestuck Acts
Act 1 Act 2 Act 3 Intermission Act 4

Act 5 Act 1 Act 5 Act 2
[S] Cascade
Intermission 2 Act 6 Act 1 Act 6 Int. 1

Act 6 Act 2 Act 6 Int. 2 Act 6 Act 3 Act 6 Int. 3 Act 6 Act 4

Act 6 Int. 4 Act 6 Act 5
A1 A2 A1x2
Act 6 Int. 5
I1 I2 I3 I4 I5 I6
Act 6 Act 6
A1 I1 A2 I2 A3 I3
A4 I4 A5 I5 A6
Act 7

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