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TabberCanonGrayedCanon • TabberDubcanonDubiously Canon

In Pesterquest Edit

JohnSprites

John Egbert first appears in Volume 1: 'Magic is Fucking Real'. In this route, the MSPA Reader attempts to befriend John, to varying degrees of success. In the route, the MSPA Reader meets John at the beginning of Homestuck and prevents him from receiving his copy of SBURB, creating a new timeline where none of the events of Homestuck ever occurred, and wherein the rest of Pesterquest takes place. In the bad ending, John discovers the existence of the Meat Epilogue and becomes overwhelmed with the prospect of his future (most of which he completely misunderstands), while in the good ending, he befriends MSPA Reader and they build a Fort together on his bed.

John is later seen in Volume 4, surprised when the reader teleports unexpectedly into his room. As it turns out, MSPA Reader has planned a sleepover with the beta kids, and brings John to get Rose and Dave. John actually compliments Rose's drawings, to which Rose becomes flustered about. Soon, John and his friends are all gathered in Jade's garden to commence their sleepover. He is last seen getting his nails done by Rose, oddly enough. It is assumed after this point that he and his friends are more close thanks to teleportation powers from both the reader and Becquerel allowing them to see each other in person.

In Volume 5, he is seen alongside Dave when the reader and Karkat teleport over to Dave's house after a recent drone inspection. The reader is initially confused that he is over at Dave's house and not back at their respective homes, though Dave states that Bec sent the two over after the recent sleepover, and that John will return to his home shortly. He, along with Dave, notice the curled-up and confused troll lying on the floor, and after a bit of debate on whether aliens are real or not, they see that Karkat has escaped onto the roof. Karkat, Dave, and the reader talk on said roof while John waits in the living room, and eventually he is rejoined with the group as they bond with the classic case of gaming.

In The Homestuck Epilogues Edit

From the reader's point of view, John's story in The Homestuck Epilogues picks up from where his Canon biography ended.

John is one of the main characters in The Homestuck Epilogues. After arriving on Earth C, John began having prophetic dreams about Lord English's destruction of the Furthest Ring and the ghost army being sucked into the Green Sun's black hole. He seeks Rose's advice, and she tells him of her god tier powers expanding in scope and a new understanding of what is canon, albeit he does not entirely absorb the knowledge. Then, as to ensure the canoncity of this timeline, Rose advises him to travel back and defeat Lord English once and for all.

As he departs from the apartment, Roxy and Calliope invite John for a picnic in the Carapace Kingdom where they reside. They are evidently hesitant about John's mission from Rose, avoiding the topic with pleasantries regarding Rose's health, their individual social lives, and Roxy's relationship with Calliope, yet John feels only more awkward about the situation. John is surprised to learn from Calliope that he actually has a choice in the matter, rather than being necessarily forced to go face English. Upon the offer of meat or candy, his choice influences whether he does or does not fight Lord English, inevitably causing the timeline split.

Meat
John chooses to eat the nearly-raw, alien meats, and sloppily at that. As John looks at the blood on his hands from the meal, he is reminded how much contempt he has for Lord English and his many crimes, resolving to go back into canon and fight him. Roxy looks disappointed, but they and Calliope pack up and leave before John can properly say goodbye. He returns to the salamander village, writes a note to Roxy and then the rest of his 10 closest friends, and zaps back into canon.

Recruitment Edit

His first stop is the Prospitian battleship, just after Aranea and Gamzee exit the fridgeHS. Aranea barely has time to be shocked before John knocks her out and takes the Ring of Life from her. John proceeds to push Gamzee back into the fridge, and zaps to the next event.

John arrives on LOHAC to retcon his retconned retconHS, rudely interrupting Dave's argument with grimbark Jade for the third time. The other two Johns are disrupted by adult John's presence, and so remain there instead of leavingHS. After Dave notices the three of them and the usual derailing confusionHS takes place, John sends the two past Johns away from the situation, to do.. whatever they're doing next. After the three of them talk through the confusing scenario, John recruits the two teens to fight Lord English with him, since Dave has just made his legendary sword. Jade protests, but he zaps her away first, to negate her brainwashing. Dave and John follow soon after, after John debriefs him further on the situation and gives a parting smile to WV.

We next see John where he has gathered the seven other teen god tier humans - outside in his backyard on April 6th, 2009. The contrast between the overly-idealized environment of Earth C and his own childhood home hits John with a heavy wave of nostalgia, until the beta kids interrupt with questions about what happened to those left behind in the retcon timelines. John says he isn't sure, and makes a floundering speech about sacrifice to hype them up for the battle. The eight of them launch into a haphazard planning session for a while, and then John leaves them to spend some quality time to catch up with / meet each other. He is jarred by seeing his father in the house, but can't bring himself to talk to him. John returns to the other kids as he has a moral crisis about whether he sees them as real people. Regardless, he decides it's time to head out, and they all zap off to face Caliborn.

Caliborn Edit

They arrive in a strange, dark placeHS with a single grey spotlight. After Jade finds him, Caliborn looks surprised to see John and the others, but then he starts laughing. He begins to recount the "MASTERPIECE" he made, apparently years ago. His jaw unhinges, his voice distorts, and the fight begins. Not many details are given of the ensuing battle, but the narration seems to indicateMeat the kids put up more of a fight against the cherub than the initial claymation implied. Caliborn eventually feels overwhelmed and unleashes the Juju on the four beta kids, much to their shock. John tries to fight its pull, but the Juju renders null the same powers it gave John to begin with, overwriting them. They all get sucked into it almost instantaneously, and John tumbles face-first into the prison, breaking his glasses. He looks up to see Caliborn laughing at them all as he returns the Juju to the chest and closes it.

John laments over his broken glasses and his perceived failure of Rose's mission. As he thinks about her, he realizes the teen Rose he brought along is trying to talk to him through the wall. She's apparently in another chamber in this impossibly bright white space, adjacent to his. She's trying to confirm whether he's okay, and once he does, she seems relieved and says that everyone's accounted for. Each of the kids is secluded from the others in one of the four main chambers that the Juju contains, and as shown in Act 7, this matches their arrangement on the exile stations' computer monitors. From below, Dave and Jade are discussing how they respectively can't feel time or space within the prison. As the fight between the alpha kids and Caliborn rages louder outside, the teens try to ask John what future Rose's plan was, but none of them can hear each other no matter how loud they shout. John stops trying, and takes a moment to consider that this is still part of the plan, and the alpha kids are meant to defeat the young cherub. He closes his eyes and tries to picture the fight based on what he can hear, conjuring images of a bubble of pure HopeHS and metallic horsesHS...

John of course dismisses the imagery as silly and inaccurate, and stops trying to imagine the fight. As he overhears Dave and Jade loudly reminiscing with each other below, he once again wrestles with the morality of taking them away from their lives. He doesn't know whether he should answer any questions they may have about their alternate selves' lives on Earth C, worrying that anything he might say would just make them sad. As he thinks about the life he himself left behind, his focus turns to Terezi and how much he misses her. He wishes she had been on Earth C with him, shaking him out of his misery and isolation in her typical style. He starts to realize he's been depressed, and should've been reaching out to people himself, rather than waiting for things to change. With reignited confidence, he tries his hardest to use his retcon powers to escape the Juju... to no avail. After slumping back down, he announces to the other kids that THE JUJU HAS TO UNLOAD, that all they can do is wait (for quadrillions of years, from an outside perspectiveMeat), and that he's depressed.

Lord English Edit

After the Juju's eternity in the Furthest Ring and Homestuck CanonHS, Vriska eventually unleashes itHS against Lord English. John and the others emerge from the Juju just in time to hear Vriska scream as she's sucked into the black hole, but John doesn't seem to realize it's her. He's more focused on the sound of reality cracking. Dave's voice abruptly reminds John of the three confused, frightened teens standing behind him. He holds his broken glasses to his face to once more take in the scene from his nightmares - a black hole, screaming ghosts falling into it, and Lord English at its center.

Candy
John chooses to eat the exotic candy and thoughtfully looks around, considering how melodramatic and nihilistic he's been, and how silly it all was. He decides that fighting Lord English only serves some vague purpose he doesn't fully understand, and that he'd prefer to stay on Earth C and enjoy his life. He reflects on his sappy feelings for his friends and the beauty of the nature around him and, upon being asked, confirms to Calliope that he's sure about his decision. Roxy is ecstatic and embraces him tightly, crying. He hesitates for a moment, trying to gauge Calliope's reaction, but then enthusiastically reciprocates. Calliope and Roxy excitedly explain that they have sUch big plans for him, but then Calliope makes one request for him to use his retcon powers: let poor gamzee oUt of the fridge, john. He is appalled, but Calliope insists everyone deserves a chance, and Roxy offers John no support to his hesitations. John begrudgingly complies, and zaps back into canon to retrieve Gamzee. He appears in the scene where Dave and Dirk Strider are embracingHS after their intense heart-to-heart, despite the fridge not appearing to be presentHS at that moment and location in canon. John sneaks over to the fridge, not wanting to interrupt the moment. Dirk notices him as he touches the fridge, but doesn't say anything and turns back around. John takes this as a win and zaps away with the fridge, leaving its chain restraints behind.

After arriving back on Earth C, John opens the fridge gingerly and Gamzee bursts out gasping and sweating. The troll begins a self-pitying, apologetic soliloquy as Calliope comforts him. John scoffs in the middle of it but Roxy shushes him. After Gamzee finishes his speech, Calliope and Roxy congratulate and embrace him, as John walks away. He contacts Terezi and surreptitiously takes a photo over his shoulder of the other three hugging, and John and Terezi vent about how much they dislike Gamzee and can't believe the situation occurring here. John asks about her search for Vriska in the Furthest Ring and expresses how everyone misses Terezi, but she's not ready to return. She signs off and implores John to be ready with 4 R3PORT OF 3X4CTLY ON3 PUNCH 1N TH3 CLOWN D1CK next time she contacts him. John smiles as he puts his phone away. As Gamzee attracts a crowd of carapacians, Calliope walks over to John and thanks him.


In Homestuck^2: Beyond Canon Edit

In other media Edit

MSPA Snapchat Edit

John appears dressed as Candy Corn Vampire Problem Sleuth for Halloween, and a carapacian is seen dressed up as John for the costume contest. John later poses with Rose, Dave, and Jade in their costumes.

Paradox Space Edit

You have a feeling it's going to be a long dayPXS icon

John wakes up and lazily goes about his morning routine - brushing his teeth, applying pixellated hair gel, and putting on his glasses. As he exits the bathroom, we see Dad walking away. John steps into a cake and, after rolling his eyes, blows out the candles. The Paradox Space title card is shown.

John's BirthdayPXS icon

During his birthday party at the zoo, John is running away from something in a hurry. He comes across Dave and tells him that he witnessed monkey-on-monkey knife violence. Dave criticizes John for his supposedly false and story with cliche random elements, and walks away fuming. John picks up the present Dave dropped and walks away, also upset. He returns to the monkey cage to see the smaller monkey dead and bleeding on the floor, and John looks disturbed and worried as the other monkeys make eye contact and shush him.

PrototypedPXS icon
Con FairePXS icon
Quality TimePXS icon
Secret SuffererPXS icon

GalleryEdit


Pesterquest
The Player Mspa icon MSPA Reader
Pesterable Homestuck characters
Volume 1 JohnLogo John Egbert
Volume 2 RoseLogo Rose Lalonde
Volume 3 DaveLogo Dave Strider
Volume 4 JadeLogo Jade Harley
Volume 5 Cancer Karkat VantasVirgo Kanaya Maryam
Volume 6 Capricorn Gamzee MakaraScorpio Vriska Serket
Volume 7 Sagittarius Equius ZahhakLibra Terezi Pyrope
Volume 8 Taurus Tavros NitramAries Aradia Megido
Volume 9 Leo Nepeta LeijonGemini Sollux Captor
Volume 10 Aquarius Eridan AmporaPisces Feferi Peixes
Volume 11 JaneLogo Jane Crocker
Volume 12 JakeLogo Jake English
Volume 13 RoxyLogo Roxy Lalonde
Volume 14 DirkLogo Dirk Strider
Supporting Characters DadRose's MomCryptid McWhiskersDave's BroBecquerelLusiiKarako PierotBoldir LamatiDoc ScratchThe CondesceBrobotRoxy's MomThe Director
Earth Locations John's houseRose's houseDave's houseJade's house (Pacific Island) • Jane's houseJake's house (Pacific Island) • Half-Harley Manor
Alternia Locations Karkat's hiveKanaya's hiveGamzee's hiveVriska's hiveOutglutDoc Scratch's TowerEquius's hiveTerezi's hiveTavros's hiveAradia's hiveNepeta's hiveSollux's hiveEridan's hiveFeferi's hive
Related Concepts HomestuckHiveswap Friendship SimulatorTrollPesterchumThe TreasureChumroll
The Homestuck Epilogues
Epilogues Prologue Epilogues
Meat Meat Candy Candy
Meat, Epilogue One Meat Candy, Epilogue One Candy
Meat, Epilogue Two Meat Candy, Epilogue Two Candy
Meat, Epilogue Three Meat Candy, Epilogue Three Candy
Meat, Epilogue Four Meat Candy, Epilogue Four Candy
Meat, Epilogue Five Meat Candy, Epilogue Five Candy
Meat, Epilogue Six Meat Candy, Epilogue Six Candy
Meat, Epilogue Seven Meat Candy, Epilogue Seven Candy
Meat, Epilogue Eight Meat Candy, Epilogue Eight Candy
Meat, Postscript Meat Candy, Postscript Candy
Homestuck Characters John EgbertRose LalondeDave StriderJade HarleyJane CrockerRoxy LalondeDirk StriderJake EnglishAradia MegidoTavros NitramSollux CaptorKarkat VantasKanaya MaryamTerezi PyropeVriska SerketGamzee MakaraEridan AmporaFeferi PeixesAranea SerketMeenah PeixesDavepetasprite^2CalliopeAlt CalliopeCalibornLord English
Original Characters Harry Anderson EgbertVriska Maryam-LalondeTavros CrockerBarack ObamaSwifer EggmopCliper Borden
Concepts CanonUltimate SelfTrollCherubEarth C
Related works HomestuckHiveswapHiveswap Friendship SimulatorPesterquest
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