Perfect for hilarious antics.

The Magic Chest is a large container found in John Egbert's room in Homestuck. It is a white chest covered in various moons, stars, and planetoids, all of a bright yellow color. This chest is where John keeps all of the props for his various Hilarious Antics. Additionally, the inside of the chest's lid contains a picture of magician Harry Anderson, possibly for inspiration.


The chest originally had a cake resting on top of it, preventing John from obtaining his Arms. The chest is currently resting on John's roof as Rose moved it there while experimenting with the Sburb Beta. Under it was John's Stack Modus. All of its contents have now been plundered by Shale Imps, with the exception of the books.

Jade Harley possesses a similar chest, though she must insistHS.svg that it's a Gadget Chest, not a Magic Chest.

Original Contents of Magic Chest[edit | edit source]

Fake Arms[edit | edit source]

You retrieve your fake arms from the chest. You use these for hilarious antics.

The pair of Fake Arms look nearly identical to John's actual Arms but are considerably larger. The arms were kept in John's Magic Chest in case of any Hilarious Antics until he retrieved them. At one point John attemptedHS.svg to equip them, but his Smoke Pellets precluded the pulling off of any hijinks.

John made use of these arms by shoving themHS.svg in a hateful pastry and utilizing the residue to stick them toHS.svg the strangely armless harlequin doll to great comedic effect. One of them remained attached long enough to be included in the Tier One Prototyping and is now part of Nannasprite. The other was accidentally caughtHS.svg within a double layer cake, lodged in a toiletHS.svg, and stuck on top ofHS.svg the Green Slime Ghost Pogo. It was later found by Shale Imps and deposited on the ground next to the pogo.

The Fake Arms are a reference to a recurring gag in MS Paint Adventures in which users would suggest that characters "retrieve arms" from an object in their starting area, as they are almost universally drawn without arms if they are not holding something. Additionally, it is a reference to an old comic of Andrew's called Whistles.

Smoke Pellets[edit | edit source]

Smoke Pellets.gif

Smoke Pellets have the appearance of small, purple pills and always appear to be in groups of three, no matter how many of them there actually are. To practice using his Sylladex to Captchalogue, John storedHS.svg the pellets in his inventory, figuring they might come in handy later for some Hilarious Antics. When he discovered that holding five items led to losing the oldest one, he made certain to not pick up anything else, lest the Smoke Pellets be dropped and fill his room with smoke. John later intentionally forced the pellets outHS.svg in order to escape Strife with his father, but found they are less fragile than they appear. It was not until they were crushed by the infamously heavy Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery|Colonel Sassacre's that they were activated.

Trick Handcuffs[edit | edit source]


The Trick Handcuffs are an item found in John's Magic Chest. Despite their capacity to fool others into thinking one has been caught by the coppers, John didn't feel they were worthy enough to use and ignored them. They were later seen hanging from the branches of one of the trees in John's yard after being ejected from his Sylladex. After John's entry into The Medium, the Shale Imps stole the Trick Handcuffs and arrested John's father with them, not knowing they were fake. While imprisoned on Derse, Mr. Egbert broke free of the Trick Handcuffs and attacked the Imps with his trusty shaving cream.

Stunt Sword[edit | edit source]

Stunt Sword.gif

The Stunt Sword has not been used, but it could presumably be allocated to the bladekind Strife Specibus.

A Shale Imp with the Magician's Hat took the sword to Derse. It is unknown what happened to it after John's Dad punched him through a wall, though if it remained on Derse it would have been erased by the scratch.

Magician's Hat[edit | edit source]

Magician's Hat.gif

The Magician's Hat can be mergedHS.svg with the Beagle Puss to create a Clever Disguise. It is later replacedHS.svg in the disguise with a rather familiar bowler hat from the hat stand in the Study, making the Clever Disguise less hilarious, but far more distinguished. The hat is stored on the previously mentioned hat stand until one of the Shale Imps acquires it. It is seen fallingHS.svg with the Imp who is wearing it after Dad's escape and is later worn by another Shale Imp seen while John ascends to his First Gate. It is unknown whether it possesses any inherent magical properties.

Beagle Puss[edit | edit source]

Yeah, this is a really shitty disguise.

The Beagle Puss is a really shitty disguise; it may have originally belonged to Dad, as he was wearing it in the Act 5 Act 2 OpeningHS.svg. Acting as a disguise for John, it can be continuously upgraded through the use of merging. Its first upgradeHS.svg is when John merged the Beagle Puss with the Magician's Hat to create a Clever Disguise. Further upgrades should allow John to fool more people, but it seems right now he isn't fooling anyone.

The Beagle Puss also has an inherent inner ability called the Beagle Aegis. During a showdown of pranksters, the Beagle Aegis activates and enhances the wearer's comedic effect.

However, since The Beagle Puss's main use is a disguise and it's not a good front for a showdown, John's opponent defeats himHS.svg with a pie, and he loses a few points in his Prankster's Gambit.

It was one of several items John left behind in his house after passing the First Gate.

Dave is later seen wearing this over his Stiller sunglasses. His own Clever Disguise is completed by his Bro's cap and the Felt Duds.

Due to the Beagle Puss later showing up on the troll's meteor in Alterniabound, and in Act 6 Intermission 3, the most likely explanation is that Dave somehow acquired the disguise, Terezi made a duplicate of it from Dave giving her the captchalogue code, and Dave left the Beagle Puss behind on one of the planets.

Blood Capsules[edit | edit source]

Blood Capsules.gif

Blood Pellets resemble red Smoke Pellets. Blood capsules are used in magic and pranks to fool others into think that one is bleeding. These will no doubt help John perform several Hilarious Antics. However, they have been plundered at this point.HS.svg

We can assume that Bro also has these Blood Capsules and has stuffed them into a frog-shaped Puppet. When Dave turns on the blender to shred the puppet, there is a rather large amount of red liquid left behind, so Dave concludes that the blood capsules were inside.

Harry Anderson "Wise Guy"[edit | edit source]


One of John's favorite books of all time. Written by Mike Caveney, it is filled with clever jokes and amusing japes. It is large and sturdy, being ejected through John's window without any damage.

It is currently lying on his bedroom floor after being returned with Rose's help. It is actually also a real book in the not-Homestuck universe.

Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery[edit | edit source]

Main article: Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text
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