Ongoing Gags

What pumpkin?

Many ongoing gags, or "callbacks", occur in MS Paint Adventures. In addition to internal callbacks in each adventure, the later adventures (particularly Homestuck) sometimes also reference the earlier adventures. On a related note, Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff was originally created with the purpose of being referenced in mind, as "the chief source of in-house memes" for Homestuck.

Similar, but typically of a more serious and plot-relevant nature, are recurring themes.

Gags in multiple adventuresEdit

At first just a sight-gag in Problem Sleuth as Ace Dick does not so much parry as take the blow full on, it has morphed into a series of terrible puns in Homestuck universe, such as "Auto-Pastry" when John Aggresses his Dad; similarly, Rose "Auto-Perrier" and "Blotto-Parry" when she Aggresses her mother. Dave also later uses "Auto-Harley" against Jack Noir, and Vriska uses "Auto-Pirate" against the same.
"Be the other guy"
A command used to semi-force the story to focus on another character. It was first used in Jailbreak (though not perfectly) and later appeared in Homestuck to make the story shift from Dave's perspective to John's. Also used for other charactersSburb Logo. Also used in the Midnight Crew Intermission, where the command neverSburb Logo getsSburb Logo theSburb Logo desiredSburb Logo resultSburb Logo.
Typically placed in Problem Sleuth, busts are seen obstructing pathways, as Busts-R-Us is a Legitimate Establishment, and are constructed to look like several movie celebrities, most notably Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Snoop Dogg. A combination of busts has also been created: the Bowen Stilson Dogg. This gag made a lampshade appearance in a Homestuck pageSburb Logo as Dirk attempts to exit his room.
Colors and units of distance
Black Inches first appearedMspa icon in Jailbreak, and is referred to multiple times in Homestuck, such as Clubs Deuce's smut magazine (a parody, as it here refers to licorice). Black Inches also appears as a smut magazine in Problem Sleuth. Snowman's whip bears the same name, and the most powerful ability of the Queen's Ring, the Red Miles, is also a reference to the magazine. Bec Noir has also used a variant of the Red Miles, presumably called the Green Miles, or at least the Green some unit of distance. Homestuck also features the Yellow Yard, and Dirk's auto-responder has used the phrase "Blue Leagues". Aranea describedSburb Logo the serpentine mating forms of adult cherubs as "green aus" (astronomical units).
"Dear, sweet, precious X"
"First used"Mspa icon on dear, sweet Sonhearst, when Ace Dick Auto-Parries a bullet for him. More properly usedMspa icon after Sonhearst becomes Bathearst. Way, way later, it's first used in Homestuck to refer to Calliope's jujuSburb Logo, and later applied primarily to dearSburb Logo sweetSburb Logo preciousSburb Logo dearSburb Logo DEARSburb Logo Fefeta, usually by Roxy. In Openbound part 3Sburb Logo, one can also examine dear, sweet, beautiful, dear, precious, sweet, sweet, dear, sweet HORSEAPONI while controlling Horuss (#neigh). In A6A6I4, John recovers the dear, sweet, precious ring of ghost life Sburb Logo.
"First, be the X. Second..."
A command that first appears in JailbreakMspa icon. In Homestuck, Rose is instructed to be the pony and either trampleSburb Logo or followSburb Logo Mom. John is instructed to be the hatSburb Logo and find dad.
Flip the Fuck Out
Occasionally a character in Problem Sleuth (or, some instances, in Homestuck) will Flip the Fuck Out. Weasels from Problem Sleuth mainly do this when they get agitated.
"Fondly Regard..."
Since Godhead Pickle Inspector refuses to do anything other than "Fondly regard creation", many commands are given that use a word that sounds very similar to "creation", such as crustaceanMspa icon or cremationSburb Logo. His rule seems a little loose, as GPI does fondly regard some crenellationMspa icon, although it certainly could be considered part of his creation. The same may apply to his beloved childrenMspa icon. In an extra, GPI actually obeys a commandMspa icon to "Fondly regard donation", but of course that's non-canon. Bucking the trend a bit, Wayward Vagabond holds a certain appealSburb Logo for the desert night over Exile Town. Gamzee and Jane have each fondly regarded the miracle ofSburb Logo a new beginningSburb Logo. John has been known to do thisSburb Logo to Nanna's ashes.
Gay porn
Oftentimes, Hussie will slip in some gay porn. Most notable is Hunk Rump. It does not appear in Homestuck, but the Smuppets can be a sort of replacement, as well as Equius's fine musclebeast nudes. However, Hunk Rump does make an appearance on the Homestuck Vol. 9 cover art, as one of the cards held by Jake.
Haunting refrains
When musical instruments are present in a scene (string instruments in particular), a command to play a haunting refrain is often chosen, and accompanied by a simple flash video. This originated in Problem Sleuth, when PS was commanded to play a haunting tuba refrainMspa icon. However, he refused, because the tuba in question was encrusted with filth from years of neglect.
"Punch <noun> in snout to establish <adjectival noun>"
Ace Dick is prone to expressing himself through violence, and tends to exert his Emotions in thisMspa icon fashionMspa icon. Oddly enough, it usually results in him gaining allies. Also introducedSburb Logo to the Midnight Crew Intermission in Homestuck. Later, a salamander in [S] ACT 4 ==> contemplates punching the Heir in the snout to accomplish... some purpose, if he ever meets him. Also referenced hereSburb Logo.
"Retrieve arms"
Based on the fact that character arms are often not drawn when by the character's side. This command is often the first command given to a new character when they appear. This is a pun based on the word "armamentsSburb Logo", i.e. weapons. One exception is Jade, who already has her arms out during that commandSburb Logo. The command is used as wordplay later, though, with Jade being told to quickly retrieve firearms from her wallSburb Logo
"This is incredibly..."
In Problem Sleuth, several of Pickle Inspector's actions have been described inMspa icon thisMspa icon mannerMspa icon. It has also been seen in Homestuck moreSburb Logo thanSburb Logo onceSburb Logo, including in the Midnight Crew intermissionSburb Logo. A common specific variant, "This is incredibly silly!", usually involvesMspa icon joustingMspa icon, but occasionally doesn'tSburb Logo.
"Throw down hat in disgust"
A command common among the male characters in Problem Sleuth establishing their disgust in recent events. It doesn't matter whether they are goodMspa icon or badMspa icon, nor how much they try and resistMspa icon, or even if they are aliveMspa icon or not, sooner or later the hat will flyMspa icon! This gag was extendedSburb Logo to Homestuck, as well as the Midnight Crew IntermissionSburb Logo. Jane threw hers downSburb Logo in such disgustSburb Logo that she managed to level up as a resultSburb Logo. Her hat appropriately shares in the glorious spoilsSburb Logo.
Weapon/Object Duality
Weapons in Problem Sleuth may be exchanged with somethingMspa icon elseMspa icon, also known as an innocuous double, often when it's most inconvenient. The next frame typically gives an explanation of why it's ridiculous to think the character ever had such an object in the first place. This extends to the Midnight Crew in Homestuck, who keep all their items as decks of cards, and even appears briefly in Hivebent as Kanaya's weapon. Later it's revealed that Lord English's Cairo Overcoat and cane both also have innocuous double. Or more accurately, the cane is the (relatively) innocuous form of his actual weapon.
"What pumpkin?"
The appearance of pumpkins, which originated from Jailbreak. As pumpkins are rather elusive, it's often very difficult to actually tell if there has ever been one in the room. This may have been caused by Jake, who appearified several pumpkins after discovering his Transmaterializer. Also referenced by the company called What Pumpkin, which sells Homestuck merchandise.
"X has been slain."
This has been used numerous times in Problem Sleuth and usedSburb Logo threeSburb Logo timesSburb Logo in Homestuck.
"X: Land already"
Similarly to the above, this is used in Problem Sleuth and Homestuck to switch perspective to another character. In this case, one who has been falling, usually while other characters have been the focus. Has been used for Problem Sleuth (hereMspa icon and hereMspa icon), Nervous Broad (hereMspa icon), Hysterical Dame (hereMspa icon), John (hereSburb Logo), Jade (hereSburb Logo), Tavros (hereSburb Logo) and most recently Roxy (hereSburb Logo).
"You become... My God... YOU BECOME... X."
Followed by complaints about imagination and how you'd somehow harm your own (or someone else's) imagination in the face. It was applied to Ace Dick hereMspa icon when he combined himself with his alternate selves, and later applied to the Draconian Dignitary hereSburb Logo when he put on the Ring of Orbs Nofold.
This cry of rage and/or its frequent companion failure have so far appeared four times. It was first uttered by Ace Dick while playing a game of Hunk Rump: The Gathering. In an attempt to get Problem Sleuth to hurry up and finish his turn, he begins to urge PS to tap the ass cardMspa icon. In its second appearance, Hearts Boxcars tries to get a doubt-filled Tavros to get up and kiss Vriska. When Tavros refuses due to his inability to stand up, Hearts Boxcars flips outSburb Logo. Later, Bec Noir demonstrates his his inability to killSburb Logo Jade, due to the loyalty he inherited from Bec. Most recently, Doc Scratch has commanded the Handmaid to "render [herself] in a more symbolic manner this instantSburb Logo".

Gags in Problem SleuthEdit

"Fall in a more <adjective> manner."
This has been used multiple times: Problem Sleuth in a more hard-boiled mannerMspa icon, Pickle Inspector in a sillier mannerMspa icon, and Nervous Broad in a more nervous mannerMspa icon.
"I don't know why you haven't thought of that"
Some actions occur on their own, and the action notifies the player that they most likely should have thought of this MONTHS ago, or that something is so simple that the player shouldn't question its obviousness.
"Ride <noun> like a mechanical bull"
A commandMspa icon oftenMspa icon givenMspa icon towardMspa icon objectsMspa icon that clearly should not be ridden like a mechanical bull. A mechanical bull has also been ridden like a real bullMspa icon and Death's Scythe has been ridden like a mechanical bull (as a mechanical bull scythe)Mspa icon.
Trying to use Sepulchritude
Problem Sleuth has had to holdMspa icon offMspa icon onMspa icon usingMspa icon SepulchritudeMspa icon many times, until it is finally usedMspa icon.

Gags in HomestuckEdit

It's worth noting that Doc Scratch implies that callbacks are an integral part of paradox spaceSburb Logo and that events often repeat again and againSburb Logo. In other words, many of the callbacks and recurring gags in Homestuck might be explainable in-universe as possible instances of circumstantial simultaneity.

<Action> like a(n) <Animal/Appendage> and <Action> on your <Possession>
First used by John when he is told to sqwawk like an imbecile and shit on his deskSburb Logo, second by Rose, when she is told to writhe like a flagellum and puke on her bedSburb Logo, third by Dave, where he is told to bleat like a goat and piss on his turntablesSburb Logo, and lastly by Jade, who was asked to squeal like a piglet and fertilize some plantsSburb Logo. All of these requests were met with reluctance by the characters, with the exception of Dave, who did consider bleating like a goatSburb Logo at a later date, along with Jade, who dismisses the idea first, but immediately after decides to do soSburb Logo
x2 Facepalm Combo
First usedSburb Logo by Rose in the Mausoleum, then by Karkat at his computerSburb Logo, and later not quite accomplishedSburb Logo by Spades Slick (directly after his past self successfully accomplished itSburb Logo, albeit centuries before). In [S] FlipSburb Logo, Terezi pulled off a x3 Triple Facepalm Combo, with the aid of Lil Cal (pap). The gag is later subverted with Doc Scratch's Facepalm x0 ComboSburb Logo, Bec Noir's Facepaw x2 x1 ComboSburb Logo, and B2 Jack's EYESTAB x2 COMBO!!!Sburb Logo
A hell of a mystery...
Sometimes we come across the solution to "...a hell of a mystery no one thought was a mystery and didnt even really need solving / but damn if it didnt just get solved so nice work".Sburb Logo This happens fairly often.Sburb Logo Sometimes we don't even know we've found the solution.Sburb Logo And sometimes we'd rather we hadn't.Sburb Logo
A recurring introductory set of lines in Pesterlogs
An introduction from a troll, a reaction with multiple "o"s (or zeroes) from the victim, the line "So I guess A is finally the B you C everything D," followed by an emoticon. Three examples, in the order in which they appeared in the story line, are as follows; it is also notable that, in the first and second of the examples, the phrase "Is there nothing I can do to change your mind?" is given after the emoticon. In the third, "Is there nothing I can do to ease your mind?" is given after a long pep talk.

Karkat's initial judgment of Jade is echoed by TereziSburb Logo much later on.

Acrobatic fucking pirouette
Several characters use this phrase, or a variation thereof, to describe how they are going to flip out if an annoying event continues to happen. It is a dramatic exaggeration of the phrase "fly off the handle". First mentioned by DaveSburb Logo (repeated hereSburb Logo) when he was getting fed up with Bro's weird puppets, and actually carried out in [S] Dave: Ascend to the highest point of the building.Sburb Logo. It is next done by Dave and the jutting out and impudent felt plush, into one another's heartsSburb Logo. Sollux threatens to do an athletiic fuckiing 2omer2aultSburb Logo off the deep end if he sees any more tangled wires. Dave claims he is doing some kind of spectacular fucking jackknife off the loopSburb Logo when Davesprite is talking to Rose. Dave later warns Terezi off using the phraseSburb Logo to taunt him. Terezi performs one in [S] Seer: AscendSburb Logo, mirroring Dave's flash. Such acrobatics are also used to dismount objects in an ironically ungraceful manner; Dave off a swordSburb Logo, and Gamzee off Unireal AirSburb Logo. When Hussie gets too self-indulgentSburb Logo, MSPA Readers swear they will do one "off the stump and blow their brains out if it doesn't stop keep happening." Dirk tells Jane that Jake needs to be more skeptical, and not take a Pollyanna jackknife ass-first off whatever turnip truck is blowing through town that daySburb Logo. And the auto-responder, when Dirk asks him if he can handle overseeing Jane's entry into the game, claims he will perform an acrobatic pirouette on to the handle, wherein the handle literally represents his ability to handle that thingSburb Logo, following it up with an extended metaphor about marrying the handle. Also used when Jane abscondsSburb Logo, along with some lass scampering, a couple of youth rolls, and a nice abscond.

Rose threatens to do this so hard she impregnates the Incipisphere with [her] body if John keeps protesting he's not their leader.

"Addiction is a powerful thing."
Stated in many of the introductory panels of both kids and trolls.
"All the <noun>s. All of them."
Appears all over Act 5 in most of the instances where trolls are speaking of ALL of something. ALL OF IT. First shows up when Sollux is introducedSburb Logo. Other than Sollux's case, it frequentlySburb Logo involvesSburb Logo VriskaSburb Logo, but has also been used by FeferiSburb Logo, EridanSburb Logo and KarkatSburb Logo (when talking to Vriska). In Alterniabound Karkat snarks about the gag, when the <nouns> that "AREN'T AN EXHAUSTIVELY QUANTIFIABLE THING AND WE BOTH FUCKING KNOW THAT". "None of themSburb Logo" has also been used. Rose goes into somewhat of an extended metaphorSburb Logo of the gag, using the terms "exhaustive possession" and "monopolization".
Backup clothing
In the Midnight Crew Intermission, the Midnight Crew all have backup hats, and Lord English has a backup Cairo Overcoat.
Being entrenched in stuff
Originally used in Dave's confrontations with TavrosSburb Logo, Dave refers to his and Karkat's entrenchment through penis ouijaSburb Logo.
Being fuck-deep in stuff
Dave gets "burrowed fuck deepSburb Logo into lively, fluffy muppet buttock," Karkat remarksSburb Logo that Terezi is probably burrowed fuck deep in the lab, Roxy emerges from fuck deepSburb Logo in meowcats (after mentioning it hereSburb Logo), Dave later mentions he's "been fuck deepSburb Logo in alt daves before", and Dirk has been burrowed fuck deepSburb Logo in flying buttresses and purple pointy things. Caliborn also surmisesSburb Logo that his goal in Sburb is TO BURROW FUCK DEEP INTO THE CENTER OF EARTH to confront Yaldabaoth.
Jake Big No

I think Jake has something he wants to say about the situation.

Big no
A character is drawn in scribble mode (usually inside the Tricksterlog/Dialoglog) as having their hands on their head and yelling an incredibly long "NOOOOOOO...OOOO!" It is first seenSburb Logo with Jake, in response to Jane's declaration of how caucasian peachy she feels. It is later used (repeatedly) by JohnSburb Logo when Jane stabs Karkat, much to Jade's irritation. The third character to do it is Dave, while diving after WV.Sburb Logo
Blast off.
Done by JohnSburb Logo threeSburb Logo timesSburb Logo, SolluxSburb Logo, and Trickster JaneSburb Logo.
Commonly used as an all purpose reaction to... well, almost anything. RoseSburb Logo, John, Jade, KanayaSburb Logo, FeferiSburb Logo, EridanSburb Logo, and even Spades Slick have expressed their thoughts about someone or something using some sort of BLUH. Terezi claims to be unfazed by our human bluhsSburb Logo. Characters engaging in a BLUH are often depicted in Scribble Mode.
Boggle vacantly at these shenanigans
Used at bothSburb Logo endsSburb Logo of the Midnight Crew intermission. Jake subsequently boggles vacantlySburb Logo at Dirk's technical shenanigans. Caliborn callsSburb Logo backSburb Logo the reference twice.
"Boy. You there, boy."
A standard greeting from Exile to player, occasionally followed by an instruction to "quit all this scurrying around". Used by WVSburb Logo and CDSburb Logo. Spades Slick instead opts for "Hey kid. Yeah you.Sburb Logo" English addresses the Handmaid in aSburb Logo similarSburb Logo mannerSburb Logo, as does the Condesce to Jane via the Tiaratop.Sburb Logo
"Bring me a horse and I am yours forever."
First used by Hussie in the first part of Openbound as an optional task. It was then used again in the third part by Horuss, this time necessary to proceed through the game.
Butler island
Dave was served like a dude on butler islandSburb Logo during his strife with his Bro. Sollux later predicts that he will get his ass served to him twofold, liike two dude2 on doublebutler ii2landSburb Logo. Later, Dave becomes like a dude on butler island; i mean, a dude who happens to be one of the butlersSburb Logo, since he became the server player for both Rose and Jade. Also, Jake worries that he might get served like a dude on butler island if he lets his guard downSburb Logo. Unfortunately, this worry reaches fruition.Sburb Logo In Openbound, part three, Aranea describes the Lost Weeaboos, one of the fragments is "served like a shounen [young man] on shitsuji [butler] island...".
Carrying five or more computers
Like a sensible person. TereziSburb Logo and JohnSburb Logo (much to Jade's dismaySburb Logo) seem to show folly in this category. JakeSburb Logo, however, having a grandmother who advocated such thorough preparedness, is well equipped in the computational department.
Crumpling paper in anger
DaveSburb Logo, TereziSburb Logo, Jack NoirSburb Logo, the Draconian DignitarySburb Logo, and CalibornSburb Logo have all been seen crumpling paper in anger.
"Cut to the chase and <verb> immediately."
Used in the introductions of TereziSburb Logo and TavrosSburb Logo.
"Dear, sweet, precious X"
See Gags in multiple adventures
Destroying time-related devices
Spades Slick spends much of the Midnight Crew Intermission breaking the 1000 clocks in the Felt mansion. He later destroys Doc Scratch's clock, marking a total of 1001/1000 clocks destroyedSburb Logo. Arguably, this is paralleled by Jack Noir, who upon arrival in the trolls' session fights a thousand-strong army of doomed timeline Aradiabots. Since they are robots of the Maid of Time, they are feasibly describable as "time-related devices". In other words, 1000/1000 Aradiabots Destroyed. Then the alpha Aradiabot blows up – in a sense also destroyed by Jack, as it's caused by Aradia's god tier ascension when he destroys the trolls' Derse – making it 1001/1000.
Don't turn your back on the body
First mentionedSburb Logo by Doc Scratch as a piece of advice to Karkat. Karkat, however, does not listenSburb Logo. Later referenced by the narrative promptSburb Logo, CalibornSburb Logo, VriskaSburb Logo, and RoxySburb Logo. Dave and Dirk also trade storiesSburb Logo of turning their backs.
Drinking something one is not supposed to
A character attempts to drink something that looks tantalizing, only to retch in disgust and find out otherwise. Often goes hand in hand with BLUH and, accordingly, Scribble Mode. So far, this has happened to John with his "apple juice"Sburb Logo (in Dave's imagination), Rose with one of her mother's martinisSburb Logo, Kanaya with the bloodSburb Logo of her just-deceased lusus, Feferi with some Troll TabSburb Logo, and the Wizardly Vassal with shaving creamSburb Logo (though the latter kept on drinking it anyway). The latest one is Roxy when she drank her martini, much like Rose but with completely the opposite reactionSburb Logo. Eridan would have also done thisSburb Logo with Faygo, but he considered it unnecessary since it's just soda, no big deal.
Dropping things
Picking up things or taking them out of the Sylladex can cause other items captchalogued in there to eject, often violently and in a hilarious fashion.
The creation or arrival of an obviously plot-critical eggy-looking thign[sic],Sburb Logo accompanied by the animated text "EGG!" This has been seen when WQ?'s station appearsSburb Logo, when Dave's Cruxite item is createdSburb Logo, and when Roxy creates a MatriorbSburb Logo.
"Elevatorstuck" ♫
Tensei's muzak ditty has now appeared in Homestuck thirteen times to date. It remains to be seen if there is any significance to the fact that Caliborn finds it painfully horrendousSburb Logo and the crew of Vriska's ship have been practicing itSburb Logo.
"Everybody out of the god damn way."
"[You/I] got a A full of B, a C full of D, and an E full of F."
  • Clubs DeuceSburb Logo; A = hat, B = bomb, C = fist, D = penis, E = head and F = empty.
  • RoxySburb Logo; A = lab, B = cats, C = skirt, D = scamper, E = head and F = vodka.
Extravagant bitch
This descriptor has so far been used to describe three females. First by CalibornSburb Logo (in line with his usual way of referring to females), second by RoseSburb Logo to refer to Vriska (possibly negatively), and third by RoxySburb Logo to refer to Jane (presumably affectionately).
"Farmin' these goddamn X. Fuckin' pain in the ass."
Hearts Boxcars is left farmin' these goddamn horsesSburb Logo after Cans knocks him into a different calendar year. Salamander mushroom farmers express similar sentiments.Sburb Logo In part 1Sburb Logo of Openbound, Kankri tags one of his remarks to Meenah with #Herding all these g9ddamn w99l6easts #Fuckin pain in the ass.
Faux typos
Especially used by trolls. Common examples are "bunp", "sign" (for "sigh"), "jegus", etc. Also a favorite of Roxy's (how many are alcohol-induced and how many are intentional is unclear).
Flappy swingy doodad
Various characters have trouble remembering the term for the flag on mailboxes. The actual term is "Mailbox flag", or maybe "Semaphore" if you're really fancy.
Flash page back buttons
Starting with this flashSburb Logo and including the threeSburb Logo subsequentSburb Logo onesSburb Logo, the back buttons are changed to do different tasks rather than restarting the flash animation.
  • If the back button is clicked on the first instance, the button disappears and the word "why" appears above where the button was.
  • In attempting to click the back button in the second flash, the button changes positions and dimensions. If the reader continues to roll over the button, Nic Cage's face appears. Clicking the face returns the button to the corner and Nic Cage says, "boner."
  • The third flash's back button causes many back buttons to appear. Only one button resets the flash, clicking another button will make a honk play, indicating the reader clicked the wrong button.
  • Clicking the fourth flash's back button repeatedly creates sun designs (possibly alluding to Yaldabaoth's head) out of many flash buttons, but clicking any button will "advance" the progress. Eventually, each sun is replaced with a grid of Nic Cage faces. Clicking any face makes the animation pan to a poorly rendered National Treasure poster. Nic again says, "boner."
Flying off things
When not specifically doing acrobatic fucking pirouettes, things generally fly off handlesSburb Logo, or hooks, in a manner requiring increasingly exaggerated metaphors. For instance, the hook being dead to that shitSburb Logo, the hook filing for divorceSburb Logo from that shit and seeking custody of the hook and the shit's two kids, shit wanting to reconcileSburb Logo with the handle, and perhaps seek marital counseling, the handle being a bald guySburb Logo going really fast and Sollux being his toupee, and most of all, Karkat upping his standard shit-flipping by threatening to flip his shitSburb Logo "RIGHT OFF THIS FUCKING METEOR ... SPINNING AND SPINNING AND SPINNING INTO ENDLESS NOTHING, SCREAMING".
"Fuck that guy"
So far solely applied to Gamzee, and spoken by three separate characters.
  • KANAYA: All Im Saying Is Basically
    KANAYA: Just
    KANAYA: Fuck That Guy
    Sburb Logo
  • ERISOLSPRITE: can wwe at lea2t come twwo term2 on a 2ound poliicy of 'fuck gamzee'?
    ERISOLSPRITE: cau2e all iim 2ayiin ii2 ba2iically.
    ERISOLSPRITE: fuck that guy.
    Sburb Logo
  • DAVE: and as for gamzee fuck that guy with a balloon poodle Sburb Logo
Headdesk and beating of the back of the head
Done by KarkatSburb Logo during a flash animation and by EridanSburb Logo during a normal panel. Later by GamzeeSburb Logo after seeing Trickster Jane using some majyyk/magic.
"He is already here"
Usually in relation to Lord English, referring to his ability to travel to any time and place he wants. The phrase is first used when discussing the virusSburb Logo that will summon English into the universe, repeatedSburb Logo by Doc Scratch to Rose, and later usedSburb Logo by English himself when he confronts the HandmaidSburb Logo. When English appears in Hussie's manor, our beloved author notes that English is always already here. There are also four cases of the phrase referring to someone other than English. The firstSburb Logo is applied to Jack Noir by Vriska, the secondSburb Logo to Spades Slick by Doc Scratch, the thirdSburb Logo and her Imperious Condescion by Dirk, and the fourthSburb Logo to the Imperial Drones by Caliborn. In the instance where it refers to Slick however, it is to lead the viewer to believe he will be English. It is also used by CalliopeSburb Logo and RoxySburb Logo when referring to Caliborn, who is technically Lord English's younger self.
It's worth noting that Andrew Hussie used a variant of this gag, "I am already dead," in a conversationSburb Logo between him and Caliborn.
"Hey." "Sup."
Used when Dave is greeting a fellow Dave or another character. Sburb Logo, Sburb Logo, Sburb Logo.
"Huge bitch"
This choice of descriptor first showed upSburb Logo in the Midnight Crew Intermission. The next was in Act 4, in a big flash pageSburb Logo. The next appearance is in Hivebent, just beforeSburb Logo Vriska's introduction. The most recent instanceSburb Logo mirrors the second one. With the appearance of this gag comes a scribble of the targeted person, generally accompanied by a "BLUH BLUH". So far, only the Black Queen, Snowman and Vriska are considered huge bitches, but more recently, as Rose is busy being her typical cryptic self and leaves John hanging to deal with two trolls, he refers to her as a HUGE WITCHSburb Logo. Much later, Vriska refers to her denizen, Cetus, as a HUGE 8itchSburb Logo.
"I am the X. It's me."
Repeated on several occasions. This is a reference to Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff #10Sbahj icon.
"I can't really control the X."
This gag first appears during Aradia's conversation with Equius, in which he mistakes her ribbits as a form of roleplay, but in reality she cant really c0ntr0l the ribbitsSburb Logo. In an enthuastic conversation with Kanaya, Feferi claims she cant really control t)(e glubs, although Kanaya calls her out on this fallacious claimSburb Logo. A slight change to the gag occurs after Jade goes dog god tier, where John asks if Jade can control the woofsSburb Logo, to which Jade replies that she hasnt gotten the hang of the woofs yet :(Sburb Logo. During Karkat's intermission intervention with Terezi, when Dave is on speakercrab, the device pinches Terezi's toe, but when she gets mad he points out that he cant control the crabSburb Logo. When Rose initially asks John about his new retcon powers, he explains that he can't seem to control the jumpsSburb Logo. At one point, Aradia subverts the trope by controlling the ribbits deliberately, in an attempt to cause a glitch in paradox spaceSburb Logo
"I think I should get a towel."
First appeared with John, when he tries to clean up the mess with the cake in Act 1Sburb Logo. Due to EquiusSburb Logo and his sweating problem, it became used in situations where the person is nervous. JakeSburb Logo also uses this talking to Dirk.
"It's sharp and it's X and it's Y"
Dave and Dirk's swords are frequently described in this manner.
  • TG: its sharp and its awesome and its a sword
    TG: end of story
    Sburb Logo
  • GG: its sharp and its through a bird and its a sword
    GG: end of story!!!!!!
    Sburb Logo
  • DIRK: It's sharp!
    DIRK: And it's awesome!
    DIRK: And...
    DIRK: It's a sword!!!
    Sburb Logo
  • JADE: its colorful and its silly and its a sword
    JADE: end of storySburb Logo
  • DAVE: its sharp
    DAVE: and its awesome
    DAVE: and...
    DAVE: its fucking welsh!!!!!
    Sburb Logo
Used when a character is in a crowd; he repeatedly exclaims that he hates something. First used by Hearts Boxcars when he's crowded by Eggs and Biscuits time clonesSburb Logo. Later used in Ministrife by Karkat: "I HATE THE AFTERLIFE I HATE THE AFTERLIFE..." Later would be used by Caliborn when he gets crowded by his "puppet people"Sburb Logo.
Idiotic thoughts
When characters are first introduced in Homestuck, they get insanelySburb Logo idioticSburb Logo thoughtsSburb Logo which normally consist of acting like an animal and besmirching their surroundings via some bodily discharge. They usually get these thoughts after trying to retrieve their arms. Though those thoughts often got cancelled, Jade goesSburb Logo aheadSburb Logo with hers. Dave doesn't do it but it is mentionedSburb Logo here as well as done by Brobot HereSburb Logo.
"Immutable fact I am stating... does not mean"
Karkat tells John that all troll kids hate all human kids during an attempt to communicate helpfullySburb Logo with him, and calls John an idiot so that he can clearly explain why he is not trying to be mean to him. Terezi later assures RoseSburb Logo that she is being helpful, but friendship just isn't taking place. Next it is again Karkat, stating that the trolls hate themSburb Logo, but that isn't any reason to withhold information. Kanaya informsSburb Logo Aradia that, although it is immutable that Sgrub will be terrible and although they are not on the same team, she will still be helpful. In the post-scratch universe, Caliborn explainsSburb Logo to Dirk that he doesn't reveal future events because him giving a shit is simply not taking place.
Ironic proximity to some horses
A character or object's being in the proximity of some horses is stated to be ironic, though no explanation for why it should be considered ironic is ever provided. During his showdown with Lord English, Hussie claimsSburb Logo that it would be ironic if English died in the proximity of some horses, and when English appears to be confused by the claim Hussie tells him to "just think it over. Think it over..." After taking over the narrative and finding Hussie's secret hatch, Caliborn wondersSburb Logo if the hatch's contents being in the proximity of some toy horses is supposed to be ironic. Later, during the second act of "Homosuck," Caliborn saysSburb Logo that "Alpha Male"'s adventure starting in the proximity of some horses is ironic, then tells the reader to think it over. In [S] GAME OVER, Caliborn is left heavily injured in the proximity of the toy horses, though in this instance, it goes unremarked upon. Later on in "Homosuck," ARquiusprite's arrival and Caliborn's (temporary?) defeat are accompanied by the presence of some horses, the irony of which Caliborn acknowledges.Sburb Logo
Irons in the fire
Used by various trolls throughout the comic, much to the dismay of Karkat, who was the first to use it. It is formally addressed by Karkat on several occasions, usually after saying "Don't you dare say it", or something along those lines. Jake has also used it in a conversation with JaneSburb Logo. A variation occurs in Kanaya's conversation with FeferiSburb Logo when Kanaya says "Burdens In The Fire" which means the opposite, but kind of has the same idea to it.
Used by Terezi to attempt to troll Dave by sending him pictures of various badasses males that bear the most minimal of resemblance to him. One instance led Davesprite to compliment Terezi's trolling methods, although he could have been trolling her in turn. Thus far, several variants have been used in two differentSburb Logo conversationsSburb Logo between Dave and Terezi. More recently, Calliope has used it for Dirk and Roxy, and Caliborn has used a variant for himself with Dirk and Jane.
"It's hard being X. It's hard, and nobody understands"
Repeated on several occasions.
  • First by Eridan to KanayaSburb Logo (being a kid and growwing up)
  • Then by Hussie (Mothersprite?) to KanayaSburb Logo (being a kid and growing up)
  • Next used by Nepeta while viewing her shipping wallSburb Logo (being a shipper)
  • Then, much later, by Roxy to ARSburb Logo (as totey sweet a friend as me)
    • Uses "no 1" instead of "nobody"
  • Cronus tags a remarkSburb Logo with #W's are hard #theyre hard and no one understands #(V's too).
  • Last used by Hussie when narrating for CalibornSburb Logo (a cherub and growing up with lots of weird magical rules that nobody understands and have no discernible origin or purpose)
Just sort of...
Involves Hussie's narration on one page and the completion of the phrase in a command or an action on the next page.
  • First used when narrating for GamzeeSburb Logo - Gamzee gets his husktop
  • Hussie uses itSburb Logo himself after "defeating" Doc Scratch - he gets the repaired disc for the Homestuck game.
  • Used when Roxy takesSburb Logo the captchalogue bottle of kidmomgoo
  • Used when Jake takesSburb Logo a Fenestrated wall
The two most recent occurrences listed above both share a similar quality. In addition to the completion of the phrase in a command for the next panel, the next panel's narration begins with "You just sort of X."
There are other pseudo-occurrences where the phrase "just sort of" ends a line and is picked up on the next line.
Kanaya getting knocked off the lab's teleporter pad
As someone else teleports from the other end. First by Eridan in Kanaya: Return to the core. Later by Karkat on this pageSburb Logo. Kanaya lampshades the recurrent nature of the gag the second time around.
Legendary infinite X
Dirk taking a legendary infinite shower, and Jane hoping that Dad is having one of his legendary infinite carwashes.
Legendary piece of shit
Used to refer to a legendary weapon that fails to live up to its hype, such as the broken CaledfwlchSburb Logo and Ahab's CrosshairsSburb Logo.
Level up for slaying the imp
Objects used by Rose to smash imps are given their own ranking on the Echeladder. These objects include John's fridge, his bathtub, and the old copy of Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery. Later on, Jane's hat also levels up for being perfectly thrown down.

Losing both an eye and an arm

Happens to Spades Slick, to Bec Noir, to John's harlequin doll, to Vriska Serket and her ancestor Spinneret Mindfang. Aranea also taunts Dirk with severing her ring arm. John's gift robot rabbit loses his green eye because it's eaten by WV, and later the post-scratch counterpart of that bunny in Jane's room appears to be missing both an eye and an arm. It seems those characters are basically destined to lose their eye and arm, or that if a character loses one they must also lose the other.

"Lousy (goddamn) stupid <noun>."
So far, every kid save for Dave has voicedSburb Logo his or her disgustSburb Logo for somethingSburb Logo in this mannerSburb Logo. Sollux, in a similar but not-quite-the-same manner, and in a 2X DISGUST COMBO, expresses his distaste for lousy stupid goddamnSburb Logo psychics and his window. The Salamander mushroom farmer also said this about the mushrooms. Eridan uses the phraseSburb Logo when talking about a witch seer. (Be Future Eridan.) Vriska also expressed distaste for a supportive friendSburb Logo in this manner, as did Bec NoirSburb Logo.
Magic's realness, or lack thereof
Hussie, throughout the comic, switches magic from real (e.g. Rose after she crafts her magical needles) to fake (E.g. Eridan´s introduction), keeping it consistently inconsistent. The gag was taken from one of Hussie's unfinished works, a novel titled Wizardy Herbert.
"Make-believe time is over"
"Oh God what has he done? <Name>? Please tell me that's just <substance>. Please just be <substance> please just be <substance> please just be <substance>. Haha, ok, make-believe time is over! Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god."
Difficulty accepting the death of a cherished one. Technically, this is first seen in Bro's comicSburb Logo, the comic itself having been drawn as a part of Cheerfulbear - PLAY ME. The gag then takes place afterSburb Logo Karkat finds Sollux dead after the Vast Glub (substance = HONEY). Later, he repeats itSburb Logo after watching Eridan slaughter Feferi and Kanaya (substance = GRUB SAUCE). After that, it is repeated by Hussie himself before he tries to revive RufioSburb Logo (substance = mohawk dye).
Mouth close-ups
In A6A6I1, Hussie gave Jane an extreme mouth close-up with the quote "You're lucky you're so hot.Sburb Logo", and continued the gag in A6A6I2, with Meenah ("we got a whale of a problem hereSburb Logo"), Jane again with a more extreme close-up ("We potentially have a problem here that is rather significant in size.Sburb Logo"), Jake ("Zzzzzz.Sburb Logo"), Arquiusprite ("IT IS E%CEEDING A CERTAIN AMOUNT IN QUANTITYSburb Logo"), Karkat ("I SAID WE MAY HAVE A REALLY BIG FUCKING PROBLEM OVER HERE!!!!!!Sburb Logo" and in Scribble Mode, no less), and Dave ("theres problemsSburb Logo").
No / Yes / No / Yes
Two characters talking have several times repeatedly said "no / yes". First used by Nepeta and EquiusSburb Logo several times in one conversation. Later used by Dave and KarkatSburb Logo, Tavros and VriskaSburb Logo, Nepeta and Equius again in MinistrifeSburb Logo, Dirk and ArquiuspriteSburb LogoSburb Logo, Erisolsprite and ArquiuspriteSburb Logo, and Caliborn and Andrew HussieSburb Logo. The no/yes between Dirk and Arquiusprite is likely a callback to conversations between Nepeta and Equius, who are also Heart and Void players respectively. Doc Scratch also has a similar habit,Sburb Logo although this is surely of no significance whatsoever.
Not seeing why things have to be a federal fucking issue
John doesn't see why managing one's strife specibusSburb Logo needs to be a federal fucking issue, nor why Con Air's musicSburb Logo needs to make things into a federal issue. Latula notes that Kankri made a f3d3r4l c4s3 out of her disability in part 1Sburb Logo of Openbound. Meanwhile, Rose doesn't see why datesSburb Logo have to be a felderal fucking eschew, either.
"<Noun> sure is/are <adjective>!"
Trolls,Sburb Logo troll reproduction,Sburb Logo HUMAN ROMANCESburb Logo (also reiterated by examining John ? WVSburb Logo), [the kids'] session,Sburb Logo Jade's familySburb Logo and human fashion and transportation and safetySburb Logo sure are weird! Similarly, troll romanceSburb Logo and troll etiquetteSburb Logo sure are confusing! And to top it off, [Jade's Grandpa] sure is a bag of wind,Sburb Logo royalty sure is civilizedSburb Logo and human friendship sure is complicated.Sburb Logo
Object piles
Jade's Squiddles, Rose's scarves, Gamzee's horns, Equius's broken robots, Eridan's shitty wands and Jake's gunsSburb Logo. Dave's Bro's jumble of unbelievably shitty swords may also count. Piles of smuppets are seen in various locations as well. The only unique case is Vriska, since while she does have piles of dice and 8-balls lying around her hive, she was not the one to pile them; rather, they were piled by Kanaya, who was simply cleaning her room. However, Vriska does have a pile of boondollars and boonbucks from her FLARP conquests in her secret room.
"Oh nooooo..."
Generally with various letters repeated. Fairly self-explanatory. Please make sure to read it in the proper tone of mental voice. First instance: Jade hears from KarkatSburb Logo again, the first time from our perspective. In the second instance, Jade is thwarted one more timeSburb Logo by a pumpkin. In the third instance, dream Jade's reactionSburb Logo to the accidentally impaled crow. Another example is Nepeta's commentSburb Logo on her shipping wall to the possible matespritship of Karkat and Vriska. Happens again when Jake accidentally kills a fairy bullSburb Logo. This timeSburb Logo doesn't count. Kanaya hears it from AradiaSburb Logo. There is another similar exampleSburb Logo when John is contacted by Karkat for the first time in Act 4. Dave gives his own takeSburb Logo upon discovering Jade's dead body.
Olive Branch of Friendship
One character will describe their actions as being an olive branch of friendship. Karkat offersSburb Logo the aforementioned branch to John, despite John treating it like A GNARLED TREE MONSTER'S DICK. Similarly, Vriska questionsSburb Logo how they can become friends if Karkat continues to recoil from her olive branch like she's twitching a mummified 8ovine phallus. Terezi holds outSburb Logo her 1NT3RSP3C13S OL1V3 BR4NCH for Dave upon their first conversation. Caliborn attemptsSburb Logo to persuade Jane to accept his branch in a similar manner.
Over 9000
Something, usually a character's power level, is stated to be over 9000. A preexisting meme taken from Dragon Ball Z, and its appearances in Homestuck occasionally complain about the meme being old and not funny anymore. Dirk describesSburb Logo the Condesce's power level as being over 9000, the narration asksSburb Logo if the reader wants Homestuck to go on for over 9000 panels (Nobody wants that. Nobody even wants to hear the phrase "over 9000."), Lil Hal describesSburb Logo himself as being a better AI than HAL 9000 and thus "over 9000" (Augh not that fuckin meme again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and Arquiusprite saysSburb Logo "It's... It's over... E%CEEDING A CERTAIN AMOUNT IN QUANTITY" in regards to Jake's fully realized Page power level.
Hussie also demands that MSPA readers produce over 9000 selfies of themselves with the greatest moment in Homestuck,Sburb Logo lest he delete MSPA from the internet and spread darkness across the world.
This, and variants, are used as a sound effect or captcha code for anything rocket related, like a rocket pack or rocket shoes.
Proud notes
Used by Dad to offer encouragement on the go to John and Jane for various things. Nannasprite is also so proudSburb Logo of John. Davesprite imitates the notesSburb Logo, much to John's fury. Caliborn is so, so proud of himselfSburb Logo, and Hussie is so proud of the fandom.
  • Happy Birthday son. I am so proud of you.
  • Daughter, If you are reading this, it means you are strong enough to lift the fridge. You have become a mature, powerful woman. I have never been so proud. Now be a good girl, put the fridge down, and stay inside.
Pillow facemash
When something is frustrating to the point at which a certain Strider might be apt to perform an acrobatic fucking pirrouette, Rose Lalonde might prefer to pull out her trusty velvet pillow and vent her frustration in a more subdued but equally frustrated manner. Seen hereSburb Logo, hereSburb Logo and in this walk-aroundSburb Logo.
Before something cool is about to happen, Hussie suddenly shifts the story to focus on another character. The first time this happens is when Rose leaves the observatory to confront her motherSburb Logo, which is interrupted with "OH PSYCHE" and switches to Dave's introduction. Worthy of note is the X2 DOUBLE PSYCHEOUT COMBOSburb Logo and, eventually, an attempt at a 5X CLIFFHANGER COMBOSburb Logo and the cause of an UNPSYCHE. On this pageSburb Logo there's a PRELOADER PSYCHEOUT luring the reader into thinking it's Dave's Strife page when in it is really Jade's. There were no further psycheouts for almost 4500 pages, until the "end" of Act 6 Intermission 3Sburb Logo. Less than 60 pages laterSburb Logo where "literally the worst psycheout in Homestuck to date" occurs which is immediately followed by a pre-loader psycheout.
Quote misattribution
“There isn't one quote in HS which is attributed correctly.”
— Homestuck Book 1 commentary.
The narration will often include a quote, only to attribute it to the wrong person. This happens in the cases of Mark TwainSburb Logo (Shakespeare), Walt WhitmanSburb Logo (François de La Rochefoucauld), Charles BarkleySburb Logo (T. S. Eliot), John KeatsSburb Logo (Snoop Dogg), Charles DuttonSburb Logo (also Shakespeare), and Cherub ShakespeareSburb Logo (Dave StriderSburb Logo). There was also one attributed toSburb Logo Troll Will Smith in Karkat's ~ATH handbook (John Oxenham).
An exclamation used in anger. Hussie was the first to use it, in the alt text of two bannerSburb Logo imagesSburb Logo during the Doc Scratch narrative. It has since been used by KarkatSburb Logo, JohnSburb LogoJaneSburb LogoRoxySburb Logo (without an exclamation mark), VriskaSburb Logo, KanayaSburb Logo (with only the first letter capitalized) and John againSburb Logo.
Renaming non-speaking characters
Typically, each new naming is of the opposite gender to the old name. Seen with Vodka Mutini (aka Dr. Meowgon Spengler), Casey (aka Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer), Liv Tyler (aka Terry Kiser), Jaspers (aka Frigglish), and Serenity (aka doctor blinkbottom/twinkly herbert).
"Resist urge"
Used when a character is close to an item that may be tempting to useSburb Logo or touchSburb Logo, or is otherwise subject to a temptation, such as revengeSburb Logo. This usually ends in the character failingSburb Logo to resistSburb Logo the urge, but not always.Sburb Logo
"Reunite with loving..."
OriginallySburb Logo usedSburb Logo to fondly regard Con Air, but has now extended beyondSburb Logo thatSburb Logo.
Ripping out one's heart
And crushing it with one's robotic arm. This has been discussed on two occasions so far: by Vriska for her cerulean heartSburb Logo, and much later by Dirk's auto-responder for the brobot's uranium heartSburb Logo. Both cases were followed by robots enacting it; first the Aradiabot by removing her robotic heartSburb Logo and then beating it to a pulpSburb Logo, and then by the brobot in removing the uraniumSburb Logo from its body, smashing it to piecesSburb Logo, and promptly explodingSburb Logo.
HereSburb Logo and hereSburb Logo. Additionally, in [S] GAME OVER, Caliborn dudebro slaps John.
Jade first said this hereSburb Logo. Used by SolluxSburb Logo a few pages after in a conversation with Aradia. Later, Jake uses the phrase in a talkSburb Logo with Dirk's auto-responder. Andrew Hussie also says it, referring to his character in the comic, hereSburb Logo.
Shaving cream flammability
Shaving cream is initially expected to be flame-suppressant by both the Authority RegulatorSburb Logo and JohnSburb Logo. However, John is quickly made to revise this expectation drastically with the revelation of OH GOD HOW CAN SHAVING CREAM BE SO FLAMMABLESburb Logo. Later, examining the flagpole in [S] John: Enter VillageSburb Logo references the selfsame flammability. This gag does end up as a Funny Aneurysm, however, shortly before the end of Act 5 Act 2Sburb Logo.
Curiously, though, shaving cream is remarkably unflammableSburb Logo in the hands of Dad.
Usually used as a simplified explanation as to how a character acquired something, or as an explanation as to what is going on. Davesprite used this as an explanation when talking to JohnSburb Logo as well as JadespriteSburb Logo, and JadeSburb Logo used it with Karkat who relayed it to John. Later SolluxSburb Logo uses it in reference as to what is going on when John shows up during his retcon mission.
"(Shucks) buster"
First saidSburb Logo by Jane, then Roxy right afterwards. JakeSburb Logo says it to the auto-responder, who then saysSburb Logo it to Roxy. It seems to be a common statement even when possessed by evil headgearSburb Logo, albeit with a slightly more demanding demeanor.
"Sip martini thoughtfully."
And variations. A reaction of the character over attempting to taste some sort of drink, liquid, etc. Sometimes, it's just a projection of their reaction or a joke over itself. First appears with Dave's plans to troll JohnSburb Logo, then with RoseSburb Logo, KanayaSburb Logo, EridanSburb Logo, FeferiSburb Logo, WVSburb Logo, TereziSburb Logo and RoxySburb Logo.
"Solicit profound wisdom from X."
Where X is usually a hopelessly unhelpful source. Done by JakeSburb Logo, DirkSburb Logo, and JaneSburb Logo.
Sound effects
Primarily "shoosh", "pap", "nak" and "doof", not always in appropriate places. On the other hand, several items have struck someone on the head with a satisfying "BONK" or even "bap".
Statements like that are also why you're our leader
Used by Rose to JohnSburb Logo, Kanaya to KarkatSburb Logo, Dirk to Jane Sburb Logo, Roxy to JohnSburb Logo (as i bet sayin stuff like that is why ur their leader), and most recently by Kanaya to KarkatSburb Logo. Often accompanied with a variant of "I'm not your leader, I am your friend, there is a big difference", and often preceded by "that's why you're our leader".
In part 2Sburb Logo of Openbound, Seahorse dad issues a stern, fatherly neigh. Dad later expresses STERN FATHERLY DISAPPROVALSburb Logo at the alpha kids' trickster shenanigans. Later on, Dad retains STERN FATHERLY CONFUSIONSburb Logo at Jake's hopesplosion. In both cases, he is peering out the window of his prison cell on Derse. He subsequently displays PROUD FATHERLY ADMIRATIONSburb Logo towards Jane (and possibly John) as they prepare to fight the Condesce.
Stuff being "for babies who poop hard in their diapers"
Mentioned by JohnSburb Logo, Spades SlickSburb Logo and (with slightly more b100-b100ded vocabulary) EquiusSburb Logo. Also used hereSburb Logo, somewhat ironically, to refer to boondollars being inferior to Kiddie Camper Handysashes. John also mentions pooping in his pants too hardSburb Logo from laughing at Dave's remarks.
Used when angry at Dave and later Dirk. Rose shouted it when she was trying to enter Sburb, and John at his Fraymotif shop. Jake also does this when Dirk's dream splinter starts messing with him in a dream bubble. John also exclaimed this upon reading Davesprite's note to him.
Stunning revelation
No way did anyone see that twist coming. Used for Aradia's all-the-time deathSburb Logo, and (unsuccessfully) for the fact that the trolls have one session and not twoSburb Logo. In fact, if Hussie states that something is a shocking twist, it probably isn't. For example, Dad's room turning out to be perfectly ordinary. Terms similar to "stunning revelation" as "shocking development" and "upsetting discovery" have been used when Terezi discoveredSburb Logo somethingSburb Logo shocking, usually accompanied by the sentence "Oh my! What have we here???".
Sweet Catch
Appears when one of the main characters catches something at very high speeds.
Taking dogs out behind the woodshed
Both Dave and John think Jade should take Bec out behind the woodshed, though they have differingSburb Logo viewsSburb Logo on what to do with him next. Hussie had to take Falcor out behind the woodshed and blow his brains out after he caught the rabies.Sburb Logo Additionally, Karkat describes his intention to troll the kids as TAK[ING] A FEW TOOLS OUT BEHIND THE GRUBSHED.Sburb Logo
"<Temporal noun> in the <Past/Future>, but not many..."
This expression is used a lot of times in Homestuck, to change the story's current time to go to the pastSburb Logo or to the futureSburb Logo, as the story occurs in bothSburb Logo simultaneously. "But not many" appears as Daedric text in [S] Jane: Enter.Sburb Logo
"That didn't stop..."
Used in situations mentioning something that has not been shown in the story in a decent amount of time, such as "That didn't stop being a thing that was real or anything" or "That didn't stop being true." For example, John asks RoseSburb Logo whether LOWAS being on fire has "stop[ped] being a thing that was true".
"That's really all there is to say on the matter"
Dave and John will often summarize their situation quickly, then say this. That'sSburb Logo reallySburb Logo allSburb Logo thereSburb Logo isSburb Logo toSburb Logo saySburb Logo on the matterSburb Logo. Additionally, when Vriska forces Tavros to jump off a cliffSburb Logo, he typesSburb Logo "That's really all there is to report on the subject of me getting hurt", imitating Dave's pose from after being bested by his Bro. Dirk has also used this when talking about his love for puppets. It happens again after JakeSburb Logo fights, and loses against, the Brobot. In part 1Sburb Logo of Openbound, if Latula talks to Porrim, the latter concludes a segment of the conversation by noting that it is really all she has to+ say o+n the matter of gender roles in Beforan society. Kanaya later provides something of a summary of WV, and concludes That Is Pretty Much All There Is To Say About The Mayor.Sburb Logo
"That was the plan. To give you a boner. And you got one."
A line said by Nicolas Cage in the movie Snake Eyes which appears in the Dark CageSburb Logo Easter egg from Karkat: Mental breakdownSburb Logo. Jake and his Dirk projectionSburb Logo and CalibornSburb Logo have said the line or a variation on it while talking about boners.
The Slammer
A colloquial term for jail when one is extra angry at crimes! ARSburb Logo on multiple occasionsSburb Logo, Dave and TereziSburb Logo, and JaneSburb Logo all seem to use this.
"This is an absolutely preposterous amount of X."
In which X can refer to moneySburb Logo, DavesSburb Logo, or time.
"This <human/troll> <emotion/disease> called friendship"
Mentioned multiple times, with frequent debate over whether friendship is actually an emotion or not; sometimes accompanied by "friendship isn't a <something>, <insult>. Said by Karkat to JohnSburb Logo, narrated when the exiles warm themselves in the glow of this human emotion called friendshipSburb Logo, John to earlier-timeline KarkatSburb Logo as a prank; referred to as a troll disease by Gamzee to KarkatSburb Logo and in the narration about Operation RegisurpSburb Logo; reffered to as a human emotion again by Kanaya's narrationSburb Logo and by Doc Scratch to RoseSburb Logo. Dirk's Auto-Responder refers to laughter as an emotionSburb Logo, continuing the running gag, and Caliborn calls friendshipSburb Logo and joySburb Logo human emotions, though he says that the former barely qualifies as an emotion.
This is stupid Large


Used first by John, then other characters, whenever they realize something is particularly stupid. The first timeSburb Logo he began to have a mental breakdown when he realized that Betty Crocker, his sworn nemesis, manufactures Fruit Gushers, but quickly stopped when he realised that THIS IS STUPID. It was later invoked when he ignored Dave's advice about skipping to the seventh gate and blasted off anywaysSburb Logo. Nepeta does the gesture when teasing Equius for kissing AradiaSburb Logo, as does Karkat when entering Trickster Mode after he woke upSburb Logo. It happens again later in Daedric when Karkat has a mental breakdown after reading John's bucket-delivered letter over the idea of Troll/Human sloppy makeoutsSburb Logo. Hussie himself is also seen enlarging the phrase over three panels, as he leans in to kiss the corpse of the late Rufio.Sburb Logo
Time is dead kids

The phrase can take on a number of meanings, depending on the situation. Sometimes, wasting time can lead to unnecessary deathSburb Logo, where in others it might be just the opposite - you're wastingSburb Logo precious kid-killing timeSburb Logo!

Toilet displacement
Newly connected Sburb players who are still getting used to the interface seem to have a serious habit of ruining the client player's bathroom. The toilet (if we choose to use that hoity-toity, blueblooded term) is usually first to go, followed occasionally the bathtub. It's not purely restricted to the bathroom, however, as the bed will often suffer as well. Rose, Jade, Terezi, Aradia, Kanaya, and Dirk have done this.
"Troll this <adjective> <noun>."
Seen when Terezi trolls an awesome coolkidSburb Logo and when Karkat trolls a worthless humanSburb Logo, and echoed when Vriska manipulatesSburb Logo a worthless human.
Unreal Air
Dave, Gamzee and Jane own the Unreal Air, Unireal Air, and Unreal Heiress Tiaratop, respectively.
Vriska being annoyed at having to follow explanations
She claims she is keeping so many notes and running out of ink, pens and paper, etc.
"Wear the <article of clothing>. Be the <title>."
Used on RoseSburb Logo, JohnSburb Logo and RoxySburb Logo. When used, it often involves a certain pony. Rose is also instructed to Knit the scarf. Ride the ogre.Sburb Logo
"What's his/her deal????????"
Said by Vriska regarding AradiaSburb Logo and JohnSburb Logo. Also said by JakeSburb Logo, regarding Jane.
"Who's this douche bag?"
Recurring reaction to unfamiliar faces, like Bing Crosby. Especially Bing Crosby. In [S] DD: Ascend more casuallySburb Logo, after zooming in on a portrait of Eddie Morton that has flashing Lord English-like eyes, multiple lines of "Who's this douche bag" are displayed vertically in flashing letters.
Words beginning with "A"
“Homestuck does its fair share to improve the vocabulary of youngsters, albeit with heavy emphasis on the first letter of the alphabet.”
— Homestuck Book 1 commentary.
Sometimes, obscure words of this kind are used instead of words which would be more commonly used in their place. For example, John's computer taskbar has an "Actuate" button instead of a "Start" button. During Strife, the kids can select options such as "Aggrieve", "Aggress(-passive)", "Abjure", "Abscond", "Abstain", "Abuse", "Accuse", "Assail" or "Assault". While firing at Becquerel, Jade can choose "Arraign", "Arsenalize", "Artillerate", "Armamentify"... or "Arf".
Certain characters or objects will explode with their own personalized explosion effect. A backhand to the face causes one of Equius's robots to ROBOSPLODESburb Logo, while, much later, the process of Aradia's ascension leads her to BOTSPLODESburb Logo. One of Dave's comics for Terezi involves a memesplodeSburb Logo. Eridan uses his "white science" to make the Matriorb HOPESPLODESburb Logo. Hussie AUTHORSPLODEsSburb Logo out of the Handmaid's room when hunting Doc Scratch. Tavrisprite's iRRRRRRRRECONCILA8LE personalities unsurprisingly cause them to Tavrispl♉de!Sburb Logo. A dragon lusus on Jake's island causes Lil Seb to glaresplodeSburb Logo. Erisolsprite and Arquiusprite's argument drives Fefetasprite to (dear, sweet, precious) FEFETASPLODE!Sburb Logo At the end of [S] MSPA Reader: Mental breakdown.Sburb Logo, four Eyes of Providence TRUTHSPLODE.
Generally while riding some kind of mount like a bucking bronco. The first two examples (with the "Fuck yes" variant), involving John riding MaplehoofSburb Logo and Eridan and Feferi riding seahorsesSburb Logo, are in Scribble Mode, while the third (with the "Hell yes" variant), involving Hussie riding Falcor the LuckdragonSburb Logo, is presented in the normal style. Possibly an offshoot of the "Ride X like a mechanical bull" joke from Problem Sleuth. Dirk writes "Hell. Fucking. Yes." on the edited copy of Pony Pals he gave to Jane, and later he and the auto-responder tag-team the "Hell yes" variant of the phraseSburb Logo when they discover the book survived an explosion. This phrase is said one more timeSburb Logo in Act 6 Intermission 5 except John isn't riding anything as he does random activities to ease his boredom. A close variant of this is used by Dave hereSburb Logo, when he says yes / fuck yes / fuck fucking yes.
"You cannot hope to beat <X> in a <Y>-off. S/he is simply the best there is."
You cannot hope to beat John, Tavros, Aurthour, or Kanaya in a prank-offSburb Logo, a8scond-offSburb Logo, butler-offSburb Logo, or snark-offSburb Logo, respectively. They are simply the best there are. Likewise, Jane is simply the best there is at REFRESHING BOLDNESSSburb Logo. In Act 6 Intermission 2, Rose statesSburb Logo, "I think you'll find that when it comes to striving for a reasonable approximation of legitimacy, we are simply the most barely adequate there is."
"You figure you've left him hanging long enough."
Both John and Dave have left various things "hanging". In one of John's casesSburb Logo it is used figuratively to mean that he needs to high-five the Kernelsprite; John also regards his sprite's hanginghoodSburb Logo after he and Nannasprite kick some ogre ass. In Dave's caseSburb Logo, it is meant literally in reference to the hanging puppet in his way.
"You suddenly (don't) understand everything/anything."
JohnSburb Logo. John, less confidentSburb Logo. Terezi understands humansSburb Logo. Kanaya suddenly doesn't understand anythingSburb Logo. Jade suddenly understands jack shitSburb Logo, as Karkat reiteratesSburb Logo. Also, Dirk is sarcasticSburb Logo. Meanwhile, Kanaya Suddenly [Doesnt] Understand AnythingSburb Logo and has cast Sincere Doubt On The Laughable Insinuation That [She] Or Anyone Else Ever Actually Did For Even A Single Moment.
You're welcome.
You&#039;re welcome
The Courtyard Droll's calling card. First seen when Jack receives a pumpkin full of knivesSburb Logo, and again when several items are delivered to RoxySburb Logo. In addition, the Condesce's document for Roxy has it written on the coverSburb Logo, it also apears in Gamzee's you're mother fuckin welcomeSburb Logo version. On a meta level, Hussie owns an embosser bearing his face and the same caption; signed copies of Problem Sleuth Book 4 and Homestuck Book 2 sold through TopatoCo were embossed with the seal. The gag is a reference to a NSFW thread Hussie posted on the Penny Arcade forums about a copy of the book Wizardology that he extensively vandalized.
<X> is outside.
One person states they're outside another's home. The other acts incredulous. They're told to come to the window. They don't see anything. Shenanigans ensue as a closer look reveals that the first person wasn't lying. It was first used in a Pesterlog between Sollux and AradiaSburb Logo, after which Aradia made Sollux sleep. The second use (first chronologically) was in a Pesterlog between Vriska and AradiaSburb Logo, while Vriska used her powers to make Sollux kill Aradia. The final usage was in a Pesterlog between Dave and AradiaSburb Logo, where they meet eachother in a dream bubble. The third occurance was almost verbatim copied from the first one, likely because Dava and Sollux have a lot of parallels. For whatever reason, every occurance of this has Aradia.

Gags in The Homestuck EpiloguesEdit

Combat, philosophy, life, love
A list of all the things Dirk has been known to teach people about. Used three times regarding Jake, but also once each by Dave and Obama. Also used once by Tavros Crocker in reference to Gamzee.
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