Pesterquest: Volume 1, entitled 'Magic Is Fucking Real', is the first installment of Pesterquest, a Homestuck spinoff visual novel. The befriendable character in this first installment is John Egbert. It was written by Andrew Hussie. Volume 1 was released on September 4th, 2019.
Plot[edit | edit source]
Prologue[edit | edit source]
After expressing your frustration over the Epilogues' subpar ending, as it did little to answer the many questions swirling in your head, you storm out of the room so that you can force Doc Scratch to tell you the ending. However, you find Spades Slick Doc Scratch with a cane. Knowing what , you decide to high-tail it out of there and run for the fenestrated wall before all hell breaks loose. With all the canon knowledge under your belt, you are more than excited to see your old Alternian friends again. However, instead of returning to the alien planet, you emerge in a "whole lot of nothing" and find the Treasure Juju on the ground.
Sticking your hand in the juju- a choice you immediately regret- causes a torrent of images to assault you. Pain takes you over and then everything goes white. An error message shows up, followed by brief flashes of backgrounds.
Volume 1: Magic Is Fucking Real[edit | edit source]
When you finally come to, you remark that it is a lovely morning while standing outside John's house. You see John looking out the window from the second floor, and you decide that being his friend would be nice.
You notice that he's staring at the mailbox, so you help retrieve the items as a gesture of friendship. Among the things, there are two envelopes stamped with a green logo and a package. While you are suddenly struck with a feeling of deja vu, John's father pulls up at the driveway. Then you realize that you might look like you're in the middle of stealing their mail, which would look really bad.
- If you choose to play it cool, most of the items fall out of your hands when you attempt to hide them behind your back. While you can't see Mr. Egbert's eyes, the intense fatherly disapproval is more than enough to make you squirm. Even so, all he does is shake his head after staring at you for a bit, thereby dismissing you. STERN FATHERLY DISAPPROVAL
- If you choose to hide the evidence, you dump everything in the sewer. Not noticing anything, Dad tips his hat at you and vanishes indoors. However, John shows up, clad in his Clever Disguise. Just as quickly, John whips the disguise off and cheerfully asks whether you're the mailman, since he'd seen you fiddling with the mailbox earlier. Caught off guard, you stammer your agreement and deny that he got any mail for the day. John doesn't take the bait, since he was fully expecting a package for his birthday. Right after John expresses wonder at what his friend Dave might've gotten him, you lie that Dave probably forgot about his birthday. Upon seeing the shock on John's face, you quickly retract your statement and offhandedly mention that maybe there was a delay in the mail and not due to someone's meddling. Still skeptical, John continues asking more questions regarding the astonishing lack of mail for the day. You lie that you'd accidentally dropped everything down the sewer, but insist that John do not fish it out. Your lies are getting more and more flimsy as John notices more and more things that don't line up, and you berate yourself for being a fool. After spending a few agonizing moments guessing his name, John mentions how disappointed he is for not getting anything in the mail. You advise him that believing in magic wasn't worthwile, and he cheers himself up by doubting the game's coolness. Still, John wanted the game because he was feeling lonely, so you offer to be his companion instead. John isn't entirely sure what his dad would think of you, and wants to keep you a secret for the time being.
- Should you choose to play outside, John eagerly shows you his backyard, where the swing set and pogo ride are. You end up spouting some pretty dark stuff in regards to mortality, fuzzy memories of dying coming back to you. Unnerved but supportive, John offers to listen to your troubles. You proceed to recount how you ended up on Earth, adding that maybe the juju gave you some powers. John is dubious of your claim, but you decide to prove it by teleporting into his room. John is beyond delighted with the fact that magic is real, and wants you to try time travel next. You both go one week into the past, but past John isn't too thrilled with what's going on. Present John concedes that messing with time isn't the wisest idea, and asks to return to his time. Before you can do that, you sense something and urge John to hide. Peeking out of the neighbour's fence, you see a group of colourfully dressed teens appear in John's yard. Despite his unease, John is able to identify his friends among the bunch and begins wondering about the future and life in general. Once the eight teens vanish, you take him back to the present as there is nothing else to do. Just as you were fully prepared to have some real fun with John, he decides that he needs some time to think about what he'd just seen and heard. He apologizes and bids you farewell. VAGUE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS...
- Should you choose to go inside, John sneaks you into his room before his father notices. You spend a few moments chatting with him, hoping to form a bond over shared interests and the like. Just as an awkward silence descends on the pair of you, John gets a message from Dave. Dave is mildly disappointed that his gift didn't make it, then asks whether John has started playing the game with Rose yet. When John admits that the game discs are gone as well, Dave begins insinuating that you deliberately lost John's mail. John tries to defend your name, but Dave points out some pretty valid details that puts your mailman schtick under scrutiny. While all that was going on, you mindlessly go through John's belongings in an attempt to alleviate the boredom. Dave later relents and wishes John a happy birthday, getting excited to meet you sometime soon. John then gets off the computer and joins you as you stack birthday cakes on his bed. VICTORY!
Character Sprites[edit | edit source]
Gallery[edit | edit source]
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Decoding the Base64 that appears in the error message in the prologue reveals an easter egg message.
- The error that occurred was line 413, with the KeyError being "u'donotexist'" (you do not exist).
- In John's good ending, he and the MSPA Reader can be seen stacking cakes on his bed. The Fake Arms, Stunt Sword, Magician's Hat, and the Beagle Puss had been used as decoration.
- In the good ending, the MSPA Reader has John's bedsheets wrapped around them like a robe. This is a direct reference to how the Salamanders of LOWAS draped themselves in a similar manner and deemed themselves , as well as
- The secret gathering of all eight kids (and a much older John) in the second bad ending takes place in The Homestuck Epilogues, the lot of them discussing strategy on how to take down Lord English.
- Dad's STERN FATHERLY DISAPPROVAL is a callback to .