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Pesterquest: Volume 13, entitled Leet Haxx, is the thirteenth installment of Pesterquest, a Homestuck spinoff visual novel. The befriendable character in the thirteenth installment is Roxy Lalonde. Volume 13 was written by Lalo Hunt and released on March 4, 2020.


Volume 13: Friendship Wozard[]

Contemplating on how complex the interpersonal ties are between the newest batch of friends you've made, you decide that allowing Jake and Jane to achieve self-improvement is certainly something. Either way, it's time for you to meet another friend (since you have no idea what else to do).

Consulting the address Jane had written down for you, you appear at Roxy's abode and knock. However, someone else answers the door, and the stranger's familiar face leaves you very confused. Wanting to know the truth (is Roxy way older than she claims to be, or is someone else posing as Jane's friend?), you decide how to best unravel the mystery at hand.

  • If you choose to catch the catfish in her river of lies, you consider having a long talk with the stranger before perhaps arranging a meeting with Jane so both parties can come clean. When you call her out on her creepy behavior online, the stranger merely expresses amusement at your outburst. She goes on to deny the accusations you'd hurled at her, cryptically stating that she can't really care about drama amidst more pressing matters. She warns you of the impacts you're leaving with your choices, then asks whether you have anything else to ask her. Befuddled beyond belief, you stare at her in silence until she leaves. Resigned to the fact that you've failed to make a friend or meet Roxy, you despondently take your leave. WHAT JUST HAPPENED...?
  • If you choose to believe that there's another answer to all this, you cuss yourself out for forgetting that Roxy could be living with her parents (unlike Jake or the aliens you've met). You politely ask if Roxy's home, but the stranger's stunned reactions makes you uneasy. Her eventual reply boggles you even more, until she finally outright tells you that Roxy won't be home in quite a long while. Even so, the stranger states that you're more than capable of getting past that, what with your powers and all. Concluding that you've wasted enough of her time, the stranger bids you farewell and cautions you to not touch things you shouldn't. Confused as you are, you realize that maybe the address Jane gave you may be incorrect, since Jane mentioned that Roxy never seemed to get anything Jane sent through the mail. Yet things don't seem to add up from that standpoint, since the stranger hinted that Roxy wouldn't be around for some time. It finally registered that time shenangians may be at play here, so you jump ahead in time until your instincts tell you it's right. Jarred with how drastically the environment around the house had changed and the sense of danger in the air, you hurry to the front door and knock. Peeking through the door, Roxy first makes sure that the street behind you is empty before depositing a pumpkin in your arms. Mistaking you for a Carapacian, Roxy whispers that she appreciates you knocking (as opposed to breaking and entering) though she would rather you not ask your 'fellows' to do the same. Out of your depth once more, you decide to roll with it and thank her by name. You are beyond shocked to see Roxy looking absolutely terrified, and she vanishes inside to weep before you could say anything to amend the situation. Worried about her, you knock on the door again only to hear her ask you to wait for a moment. Twenty minutes later, a horde of hungry Carapacians come by, so you offer them the pumpkin so they'd leave you alone. After more waiting, you get fed up with the need to make choices and think of what else to do.
    • Should you choose to go see what the chess guys know, you mutter that they know more than you (the player) know, chungus. You're left with the remaining two options.
    • Should you choose to give up and see if Nepeta wants to hang out, you grumble that the player can't tempt you with a fun friend this time round. You're left with one option.
    • Should you choose to smash a window to enter Roxy's house, you snap that nobody except your mom gets to tell you what to do.
Blinking, you feel quite delighted with the way you stubbornly refrained from doing anything relevant. You continue to wait, until you eventually pass out on the welcome mat. You briefly wake in the night just in time to see a Carapacian cover you with a blanket, then resume sleeping until Roxy rouses you in the morning. Roxy more or less apologizes for making you wait so long, since she'd assumed that she'd gotten a daymare. After you clarify that you did indeed utter english words to her, she beckons you indoors and you explain that you knew of her through her friends. Roxy goes on a tangent about how it must be nice to be able to meet your friends in person, then apologizes for fixating on sad realities when you--a potential new friend--is right there in front of her. You console her as best as you can, and she reveals that she had drank lot more than expected after meeting you, since it's the first time she'd heard her name spoken by someone in her vicinity. Not wanting to comment on her drinking problem right away, you instead offer to redo the meeting with her again. Thankfully, Roxy doesn't find the role-playing skit lame and joins in happily. The hug the two of you share winds up being a long one, but it's been so long since you've been held and allowed yourself to be held that you relish the moment as much as you can. After you and Roxy are comfortably seated on the living room couch, you and her chat about her strange living conditions and the stranger that may or may not be her mom. Roxy sadly informs you that she'd been hoping to meet her friends and her mom through a video game, but things have not gone according to plan at all. When Roxy shows you a picture of her mother, little details begin to fall in place in your mind--how Jake and Jade's grandparents were the friends you've made in the past, why things felt so different when teleporting to and from places in the new environment you've entered. Telling Roxy that you want to do some science, you zap back into the past to test your theory out. An extremely annoyed Rose demands that you stop messing around her place, and you hastily leave. If you're correct, going back further in time would mean that you'll meet her as a teen. But things feel very off during the jump, and Rose is delighted to see you again. Apologizing for the incredibly brief visit, you return to Roxy's side. Roxy doesn't seem all that fazed to know that she's in a different universe, instead quite happy to know that you could take her to see all iterations of her mom at any time. She only gets a little upset when you reveal that her mom didn't take kindly to unannounced visitors, but you feel an immense amount of guilt for messing up her expectations. Wanting to fix things, you wrack your brain for something to do.
  • Should you choose to visit this universe's Rose one more time, you think having Roxy around would make Rose a little less abrasive. Delicately advising Roxy not to drink, you take her to her mom and knock on the door while she catches her breath. Rose doesn't look pleased at all, telling you that Her Imperial Condescension had begun keeping tabs on her since your last visit. When Rose finally notices Roxy standing to the side, she softens immediately. Their reunion is not as sweet as expected, as the threat of danger is way too much to be taken lightly. Right as Rose implores Roxy to return to her time, a light streaks through the clouds, forcing Rose to bundle you and Roxy indoors. After muttering to herself about the batterwitch being faster than expected and needing to call Dave, Rose instructs you both to leave before all hell breaks loose. Heartbroken, Roxy is unwilling to flee, but you time travel to the future right as the Condesce launches an attack. However, you realize that your tampering had altered several details with how Roxy's house currently looks—the place is furnished sparsely, one corner of the house had been destroyed and subsequently patched up by the Carapacians. Feeling immensely remorseful, you apologize to an incredibly miserable Roxy and decide to leave before you make things worse. On the verge of tears, Roxy begs you not to go, since she'd been the one to insist on meeting her mom. Knowing that you're the one to blame, you can only watch helplessly as Roxy rumages around for booze to drink. Openly crying now, Roxy doesn't want you to leave her and says that you both can have fun by drinking alcohol. Unwilling to hurt her even more (Rose is probably dead due to your inteference), you take the bottle and take a huge swig so she would hopefully have less to herself. REGRET
  • Should you choose to take her to her other friends, Roxy is overwhelmed with the possibility of finally meeting her friends in person. Sympathizing with her nervousness, you also offer to take her someplace quiet so she can see something new and talk about who to meet first (instead of zapping over straight away). You take her to a rocky outcrop, and Roxy is absolutely astounded with how beautiful the place looks. The two of you begin talking about her friends and the current dynamic/drama taking place among them, and Roxy happily tells you that meeting you was the best thing she'd ever done. While she's more than eager to meet her other friends and her alternate universe mom (as a kid), she'd also like to chill with you for a bit. After taking a photo and a selfie to commemorate the best day of her life, you sit back and watch as she sends the photos to an alien friend of hers. Happy that you been able to be patient and not rob Roxy of her choices, the pair of you sit back and enjoy the last rays of the sun as it sets on the horizon. CHILLIN'!

Character Sprites[]



  • When the MSPA Reader takes Roxy to meet her mom, Roxy is beyond excited and goes "hopy shitHS.svg".
  • When Roxy chides the MSPA Reader for saying "hmmm" and other noncommittal words a little too frequently, it's a subtle nod to thisHS.svg exchangeHS.svg.
The Player Mspa icon.png MSPA Reader
Pesterable Homestuck characters
Volume 1 JohnLogo.svg John Egbert
Volume 2 RoseLogo.svg Rose Lalonde
Volume 3 DaveLogo.png Dave Strider
Volume 4 JadeLogo.png Jade Harley
Volume 5 Cancer.svg Karkat VantasVirgo.svg Kanaya Maryam
Volume 6 Capricorn.svg Gamzee MakaraScorpio.svg Vriska Serket
Volume 7 Sagittarius.svg Equius ZahhakLibra.svg Terezi Pyrope
Volume 8 Taurus.svg Tavros NitramAries.svg Aradia Megido
Volume 9 Leo.svg Nepeta LeijonGemini.svg Sollux Captor
Volume 10 Aquarius.svg Eridan AmporaPisces.svg Feferi Peixes
Volume 11 JaneLogo.png Jane Crocker
Volume 12 JakeLogo.png Jake English
Volume 13 RoxyLogo.png Roxy Lalonde
Volume 14 DirkLogo.png Dirk Strider
Supporting Characters DadRose's MomCryptid McWhiskersDave's BroBecquerelLusiiKarako PierotBoldir LamatiDoc ScratchThe CondesceBrobotRoxy's MomThe Director
Earth Locations John's houseRose's houseDave's houseJade's house (Pacific Island) • Jane's houseJake's house (Pacific Island) • Half-Harley Manor
Alternia Locations Karkat's hiveKanaya's hiveGamzee's hiveVriska's hiveOutglutDoc Scratch's TowerEquius's hiveTerezi's hiveTavros's hiveAradia's hiveNepeta's hiveSollux's hiveEridan's hiveFeferi's hive
Related Concepts HomestuckHiveswap Friendship SimulatorTrollPesterchumThe TreasureChumroll