Pesterquest: Volume 14, entitled Dirk, is the fourteenth and last installment of Pesterquest, a Homestuck spinoff visual novel. The befriendable character in the fourteenth and last installment is Dirk Strider. Volume 14 and the Epilogue were written by Lalo Hunt and Aysha U. Farah. It was released on April 1, 2020.

Plot[edit | edit source]

Volume 14: Just Go Ahead Now[edit | edit source]

Still on the lookout for friendship to give you a sense of purpose, you're glad that Aradia restored your memories so that you know you're always trying out different options in life. However, this would mean that you wouldn't be meeting Dirk with a truly open mind, since you didn't have a particularly good impression with Bro and Jake's description of the guy doesn't inspire much confidence. 

Not wanting that to ruin the potential friendship you could make, you push your misgivings aside and get on with it. You teleport to his door, only to fall through the air like Wile E. Coyote. Right before you meet your sticky end by plummeting into the ocean, you teleport so that you're only a few inches above water and land safely. 

Cursing your bad luck, you haul yourself onto a nearby platform and consider how to teleport all the way back to the top. However, you decide to dry off first, and take a seat in front of a computer. Dirk praises your quick thinking, though you're more focused on how he's communicating with you despite not being there in person. He clarifies a few things for you, then you hear a metallic whirring noise from above. 

Much to your surprise, Dirk lands on the platform. You're once again puzzled with how he seems to be repeating the things he'd already said to you earlier, until he informs you that you'd been speaking to Lil Hal, not him. After Dirk expresses mild annoyance with Lil Hal's interference, he tells you that he's ready to be your new friend. His entire demeanor makes you think that he's putting up a front, but you think being polite would be a better choice in this case. 

Dirk softens a little after you give him an old fashioned fist bump, though he's quick to discourage you from using his diving gear when you suggest taking a dive in the ocean. You agree with the reasons he'd provided, strangely vivid memories of doom further cementing the fact that you should not go diving. Dirk takes you back to the top via rocketboard, and the two of you begin chatting about random things. He stops you mid-speech before you could hurt yourself by touching his katana, something for which you are immensely grateful for since you again get a clear image of being gravely injured. Instead, he grabs a shitty blue sword for you to test out, citing that it's safer to mess around with. He finds the effect it has incredibly hilarious and curious, but resumes his oddly detached mannerism and asks what else you have in store for him.

Knowing that his relationship with his friends is the main issue with him, you ask if he'd like to see Jake in person. Oddly enough, he turns your offer down, claiming that he hasn't earned it yet. The way he seems confident in his abilities to convince his friends to play a game (one that they had recently given up on) sets you off, and you ask why he bothers with all the manipulation when you're right there able to bring him to his friend group if he so wished. His explanations do make sense, but the lack of trust between you two is not something you'd hoped for. Dirk eventually gives in and allows you to teleport him anywhere you wished, and take him to the top of the tower on his roof. Seeing the smile on his face warms your heart, and you think about better ways to understand him as a person. 

  • If you choose to give the topic a rest and talk about something else, nothing happens for the first few tries. What happens next is identical to the route detailed below. 
  • If you choose to try one more time to convince him the game shouldn't be played, nothing happens for the first few times. After a while, you hear someone grumbling about your persistence and the fact that apparently no one needs to see Dirk. Stunned with what you'd just heard, you ask whether Dirk had heard anything. He's just as confused as you are, then you hear the voice again, this time berating himself for being such a loser in his youth. Realizing that you're dealing with another Dirk's interference, you once again ask whether current Dirk could hear his other self. Getting concerned, Dirk asks whether you're alright. Ultimate Dirk snaps that he can assume corporeal form to make you understand what's going on, then appears right before your eyes. You and Dirk are beyond shocked, Ignoring his past self for the time being, Ultimate Dirk confronts you and your meddling, clearly unhappy with how you'd managed to alter so many things. He proposes that you step off and leave people alone while he cleans up the mess you've created, but you're adamant that he gets lost instead. Irritated, Ultimate Dirk flicks you upside the temple and you struggle to process the barrage of memories, feeling nothing but excruciating pain the entire time. You collapse to the ground, feeling nothing but grief for the friends that have died multiple times over the course of Homestuck. Dirk helps you back onto your feet, telling you that Ultimate Dirk wasn't particularly pleasant company. Ultimate Dirk explains that he'd meant for you to be well informed on the choice you're about to make, but you're more focused on the fact that Dirk actually does care for you. Composing yourself, you tell Dirk what is really going on even though you fervently hope that you can prevent him from turning into Ultimate Dirk in the future. Despite everything, you're far from letting Ultimate Dirk dictate what you can and cannot do here. Incensed, Ultimate Dirk tries to convince Dirk that the end always justifies the means, prompting you to concoct a plan to help sort things out before Dirk believes what his future self is spouting. Ultimate Dirk smugly remarks that you don't have a lot of choices in hand, stating that he knows Dirk would never be satisfied being friends with you (and thus abandoning the possibility of being Ultimate Dirk in the future), then disappears. Somewhat shaken, Dirk asks whether that was something you do on a regular basis. You agree, then ask that he wait a little while so you can bring someone over. You bring a different version of Candy Dave to Dirk, hoping he'd mediate things. The two share a hug, then begin talking it out in a relatively light-hearted manner until Ultimate Dirk interrupts again. Now back to abduct Dirk right off the bat, Ultimate Dirk give one last pitch to make Dirk join him for good. Panicking, you momentarily hand your powers over to Dirk so he can make a choice for himself. But your horror only increases when you see how he'd framed the entire thing in his mind, since there's no way you can tell whether he'd choose you and Dave. 
    • Should Dirk choose to trust himself, he give you an apologetic look and tells you that this day was certainly a wild one. Dave sadly gives Dirk a fist bump before walking off, and you can only watch helplessly as the two Dirks begin plotting. Crying as much as you are, Dave places a comforting hand on your shoulder and asks whether you can take him home, since he can't stand being here. ABANDONED AT SEA...
    • Should Dirk choose to trust them, he rebuffs Ultimate Dirk's offer, though he's fairly certain there's another version of him that would be glad to go off with Ultimate Dirk. Annoyed but not defeated, Ultimate Dirk vanishes after antagonizing you some more. Right as you're about to celebrate your victory, you notice that Dirk is trembling due to the uncertainty that lies ahead. Thankfully, Dave assuages his doubts and convinces him that everything will turn out fine in the end. A little more at ease, Dirk jokes around with Dave, and you are delighted that Dirk actually seems happy for a change. VICTORY!

Afterw@rd[edit | edit source]

Ultimate Dirk slices through the entire narrative, and you're pulled into the void that he's created. Concerned with how Dave and Dirk are doing, you give them a thumbs up and hope that Dave would do everything in his power to protect Dirk. You then realize that Ultimate Dirk had tossed you into the Afterw@rd, a drifting grey place between universes. Instead of painfully colliding with the A-Posing person in the corridor, you land in Doc Scratch's apartment in a dazed heap. Determined to discover the truth, you search about for Doc Scratch, but fail to see him anywhere. Hearing a struggle from elsewhere, you cautiously follow the sound to see what's going on. You see a man holding onto the door jamb for dear life, begging a woman not to lock him in a room where the wolfHS.svg headHS.svg is. Adamant, you yell at the interloper, but she just uses the distraction as an opportunity to shove the man inside. She then turns to you, introduces herself as the Director and begins explaining what she'd done so far. Ultimate Dirk returns, angrily arguing with the Director over details you cannot begin to fathom. They finally come to an agreement, saying that it is important that you recover John's Sburb Beta so the game can commence. You're torn between betraying your friends, or letting them live happy, albeit in a doomed timeline. 

  • If you don't betray your friends, the entire game shuts down on its own. 
  • If you betray your friends, you spend a few moments cussing them out just to let them know that you're not extremely pissed. They proceed to fight over who gets to write the narrative; the Director winning in the end. She tries to apologize, but you're not in the mood to deal with her any longer. She disappears, leaving you to wonder what your entire purpose is, now that all that you've done is meaningless. You zap back to John's place, already rifling through his mail like you did so long ago. 
    • Should you put the beta back in the mailbox, you allow events to play out as they were meant to be. You have a feeling that it's going to be a long dayHS.svg.
    • Should you throw the beta into the sewer again, the game shuts down on itself.
    • Should you allow yourself to make a decision, you realize that you always had a third option. Remembering how Jade saved her friends from the Scratch, you grab the beta and teleport to the top of Dave's apartment to think about what to do next. Bringing Aradia to your side, tell her your plan, then head on over to the Green Sun. Enveloped inside the Green Sun, you draw upon all the decisions and actions you've made and lock this particular timeline away where no one can tamper with the narrative any more. You become the first guardian of the offshoot timeline you have created. THANKS FOR PLAYING

Montage of Homestuck moments[edit | edit source]

Ultimate Dirk flicks MSPA Reader in the temple and gives them memories of Homestuck. The following pages are included in a rapid fire montage. They're all iconic moments important to the story.

  • First page of Homestuck HS.svg
  • The first "stairs" comic from Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff Sbahj icon.jpg
  • Bathtub John HS.svg
  • Clubs Deuce bursting into Stitch's workshop thrusting a bull penis cane HS.svg
  • John performing Ectobiology HS.svg
  • Eridan holding faygo HS.svg
  • MSPA Reader holding a pistol HS.svg
  • Davesprite protecting Dave as he sleeps HS.svg
  • Aradia freezing Bec Noir in time HS.svg
  • Ghost Tavros bringing UNHEALTHY INCENDIARIES to Dave in the dream bubbles HS.svg
  • Kanaya covered in Eridan's blood, wearing Equius's shades HS.svg
  • Kanaya applying lipstick immediately following above HS.svg
  • John resurrecting following Bec Noir stabbing him HS.svg
  • Vriska dead HS.svg
  • Fully prototyped Skaia
  • The Dolorosa holding wiggler Signless HS.svg
  • Damara running away as Andrew Hussie shakes Doc Scratch HS.svg
  • Karkat shooshing Gamzee HS.svg
  • Jade ascending to god tier HS.svg
  • Pyralspite circling Mindfang's ship
  • Dave and Rose arriving on the meteor HS.svg
  • The first page of Detective Pony HS.svg
  • Dave and Karkat fighting over shipping grids, the event that gives Act 6 Intermission 2 the title penis ouija HS.svg
  • Dave suplexing Karkat from the same scene HS.svg
  • Terezi and Aranea talking in dream bubbles HS.svg
  • Yaldabaoth
  • Jake kissing Dirk's severed head very dramatically HS.svg
  • Vriska showing John a blank map HS.svg
  • Crockertier Jane HS.svg
  • Vriska jumping to retrieve the house juju, owning her brand of heroism 8y 8eing me HS.svg
  • Grimbark Jade HS.svg
  • Dave saving the Mayor HS.svg
  • MSPA Reader imagining John kissing another John HS.svg
  • Dirk telling Aranea that she kissed my boyfriend and she should Prepare to die HS.svg
  • Ghosts of Vriska and Terezi holding each other HS.svg
  • The first page of The Homestuck Epilogues
  • Jane and Gamzee getting caliginous while Jake and baby Tavros are still in the room in the Candy Epilogues Candy.png
  • Now who’s hungry for meat? Meat.png
  • Dirk leaving Jake in the Meat Epilogues Meat.png
  • Dave meeting Obama in the Candy Epilogues Candy.png
  • Dirk monologuing about his morality in the Meat Epilogues Meat.png

Character Sprites[edit | edit source]

Gallery[edit | edit source]

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • The blue ==> command at the bottom of Ultimate Dirk's Dirklogs (as well as of The Director's Dialoglogs and Directorlogs in the Afterw@rd) will appear as a purple ==> command if the game sees the logs as having already been read before, identical to how the commands look before and after having been clicked in any of the comics.
  • In Dirk's 'good ending', he's giving a thumbs down to the ocean, a reference to thisHS.svg and this
  • As the MSPA Reader draws power from the Green Sun to become a First Guardian, Jade, Karkat and John are seen watching a movie at Jade's place. The movie in question is none other than Con Air, John's favorite. 
  • The option for the MSPA Reader to put the beta back in the mailbox can be a subtle reference to this lineHS.svg
  • When MSPA Reader encounters Dave in the Candy Timeline, they mention that the Candy Timeline must not be the one they befriended any of the characters in. This is further proven in the Afterw@rd's true ending when MSPA Reader pulls Aradia away from whatever she was doing. The Candy epilogue's postscript features Aradia and Davebot about to leave canon, an event that MSPA Reader pried them both away from before it happened (Aradia mentioned getting ready to leave but not being just about to, and Dave had not become Davebot yet).
    • This means that the Meat timeline is also not the one MSPA Reader was in, as Candy Dave convinced Dirk to not follow whatever path led him to become Ultimate Dirk. This may be why Ultimate Dirk was so upset with MSPA Reader's actions, as their retcon powers were nullifying the Meat Timeline's validity as the Alpha Timeline.
  • If the conversation Dirk has with Ultimate Dirk in the "good ending" is to be trusted, Homestuck^2 will feature Ultimate Dirk with a younger version of himself at some point.
The Player Mspa icon.png MSPA Reader
Pesterable Homestuck characters
Volume 1 JohnLogo.svg John Egbert
Volume 2 RoseLogo.svg Rose Lalonde
Volume 3 DaveLogo.png Dave Strider
Volume 4 JadeLogo.png Jade Harley
Volume 5 Cancer.svg Karkat VantasVirgo.svg Kanaya Maryam
Volume 6 Capricorn.svg Gamzee MakaraScorpio.svg Vriska Serket
Volume 7 Sagittarius.svg Equius ZahhakLibra.svg Terezi Pyrope
Volume 8 Taurus.svg Tavros NitramAries.svg Aradia Megido
Volume 9 Leo.svg Nepeta LeijonGemini.svg Sollux Captor
Volume 10 Aquarius.svg Eridan AmporaPisces.svg Feferi Peixes
Volume 11 JaneLogo.png Jane Crocker
Volume 12 JakeLogo.png Jake English
Volume 13 RoxyLogo.png Roxy Lalonde
Volume 14 DirkLogo.png Dirk Strider
Supporting Characters DadRose's MomCryptid McWhiskersDave's BroBecquerelLusiiKarako PierotBoldir LamatiDoc ScratchThe CondesceBrobotRoxy's MomThe Director
Earth Locations John's houseRose's houseDave's houseJade's house (Pacific Island) • Jane's houseJake's house (Pacific Island) • Half-Harley Manor
Alternia Locations Karkat's hiveKanaya's hiveGamzee's hiveVriska's hiveOutglutDoc Scratch's TowerEquius's hiveTerezi's hiveTavros's hiveAradia's hiveNepeta's hiveSollux's hiveEridan's hiveFeferi's hive
Related Concepts HomestuckHiveswap Friendship SimulatorTrollPesterchumThe TreasureChumroll
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