The plight of the four kingdoms is a subplot of Problem Sleuth. The four kingdoms exist on one side of the imaginary universe. Each kingdom is ruled by a different race; the weasels, the elves, the clowns, and the hogs. These four have been at constant war with each other.
The political crisis afflicting the four kingdoms stems from a complex relationship between its denizens.
- The weasels are an aggressive race of anthropomorphic creatures. They dwell in the salted melon fields. They are known for flipping the fuck out, and their king is the most practiced in this ability. The weasels crave elven eggs, and go on periodic raids into elf territory for them. The weasels' representative at the negotiations is the Weasel Emissary.
- The elves are known for their cunning and intuition. They are perhaps the most clandestine of the four kingdoms. Elves can grant wishes, provided you give them enough Elf Exemplar. . Elves have an unusual lust for the pies created by the clowns; they will steal them right off the clowns' windowsills. The elven representative at the negotiations is the
- The hogs are the most unappealing of the four kingdoms. Their Pulchritude is considerably low, and will only associate with characters who are equally as low. The hogs sustain themselves on salted melons; however, their kingdom is so muddy and unappealing that the melons refuse to grow there. Thus, they must gather their supply from the weasels. The hogs' representative at the negotiations is the Hog Provost.
- The clowns are the most presumptuous of the four. They excel in song, dance, and piemaking. Their primary source of entertainment is to pick on the hogs by slapping them on the behind and watching them squeal. Only a jerkwad would hang out with them. The clowns' representative at the negotiations is the Clown Pontificate.
The Weasel King charges Problem Sleuth with handling the negotiation and arbitration of the situation. To aid him in this task, he arms Problem Sleuth with the Tectrix of the Arbitor and appropriate attire (It looks pretty ridiculous). As the Weasel Emissary, Elf Exemplar, Hog Provost look on, Problem Sleuth, armed with the Tectrix, must use the Allegiance Mesh and appropriate negotiation strategies to hammer out a treaty between the four kingdoms. Despite his best efforts, Problem Sleuth can't figure out the complete bullshit and resolves to go to Gamefaqs for help.
How the fuck do I know? Just use, stupid.
- Adobe TreatyViewer) (Viewable with