Secret Sufferer
was the forty-fourth Paradox Space story.[note 1]
Story[]
Rose Lalonde tells Dave Strider and Wayward Vagabond that she has been keeping track of the days, and that this day is Christmas Eve. She tells Dave of her secret Santa plans. They gather together with the trolls, and Kanaya Maryam tells Rose about a similar tradition that trolls observed called Secret Sufferer. Kanaya explains that the tradition began in remembrance of the acts of the Expatri8 who allowed the Disciple to continue the teachings of the Sufferer in secret, causing the Expatri8 to get exiled. However, the Sufferer's followers sent dangerous gifts to the highbloods as a reminder that the lessons of the Sufferer were still being taught. It later became a yearly tradition of pity and hatred gift giving to close friends and rivals respectively.
Karkat Vantas remarks that he's glad he doesn't have to do that any more, mentioning one year when Vriska Serket sent out doomsday devices to everyone, all but one of which were faulty, which killed the former thirteenth member of their group. Rose and Dave explain that it's similar. While Karkat finds the idea lame, Terezi Pyrope and Kanaya eagerly agree. The meteor enters a dream bubble and everyone is knocked off their feet, and they find themselves on a bright, beachy planet. Meenah Peixes greets them, along with Mituna Captor, Latula Pyrope, Aranea Serket, and Porrim Maryam.
After the intermission with "Secret Sufferer Is Comin' To The Municipal Community Gathering Of Citizens", Meenah asks Rose why she had to bring up kissing traditions, as Cronus Ampora tries to convince Latula and Terezi to kiss him while holding up mistletoe. Rose defends herself by saying that she didn't know Cronus would be such a creep. Dave counters by asking her what she was doing with so much mistletoe on the comet in the first point. Rose states the she regrets that part of the tradition, saying that she will find a way to rectify it, as Damara Megido kisses WV using mistletoe as well.
After "Cherub Charitable", we see Dave talking to Terezi, Horuss Zahhak, Meulin Leijon, and Kurloz Makara about how to use Christmas stockings. Kankri Vantas blows his whistle and tries to tell Dave that he's participating in cultural appropriation and complains about it until Dave offers a stocking to him. Kankri accepts the stocking and proceeds to babble about the wonderful gifts it contains before the story cuts to "Deck it All".
Afterwards, the meteor exits the dream bubble, much to the relief of Karkat. The two groups exchange goodbyes, and Karkat later sees a present labeled with his name on the meteor. Opening it, he is enraged to find some of the dancestors inside, celebrating the New Sweep.
Secret Sufferer is Comin' to the Municipal Community Gathering of Citizens[]
Karkat is seen sends out an angry tirade to the other 11 B2 trolls, stating that he's going to make sure Secret Sufferer is done right this year. All the packages end up at Karkat's house, and he begins groaning about how he has to send them all out himself. His lusus walks in the door and gives Karkat a behemoth shit, smudging the tags, and requiring him to base where he sends the gifts on who he thinks made them. Each troll shows varying degrees of dissatisfaction, except Nepeta Leijon and Gamzee Makara. Karkat, on his computer, who remarks that he wants to wrap this ordeal up. Aradia Megido messages Karkat telling him that he probably realized, but their gifts did not make it to the right trolls. She tells him that it was ok, because most of them were enjoying the gifts they got. The last panel shows Karkat flushed in frustration when Aradia tells him that despite the mix-up, it was the best Secret Sufferer they've had.
Cherub Charitable[]
Calliope messages Roxy Lalonde to ask about the box she left outside, which she explains is a present. Calliope is still confused, so Roxy explains to her what presents are. Calliope finds the concept of gift-giving odd, leaving Roxy to explain it further. Roxy says that sometimes one gives gifts just to be nice, and other times to get a gift back. Calliope then understands that there's a "catch". Calliope asks several more questions, only to discover that Roxy fell asleep. Disappointed, she looks across to Caliborn's side of the room, which is littered with meat, pictures and lollipops. She then gets an idea and starts rummaging through her trunk. She then holds a captchalogue card containing a wrapped present. Caliborn wakes up to discover it in his inventory. Once Caliborn takes it out, he rips the paper off of the gift, proclaiming his disdain for it. Within he finds a book entitled "Brother's Fan Art Book". He opens to the middle and finds an anime drawing of his. He looks up, angered by this, and sees their chessboard ready for a game, with a note on the table from Calliope stating that she is “ready to play again whenever [he] is”.
Deck It All[]
John Egbert and Jade Harley are preparing to celebrate Christmas during their three-year trip, but argue over where to put the Kringlefucker
. John makes a case for the control room being the best place for it, due to the room's coziness and the ability to fire cannons from inside. Jade argues that the deck is the best place to put it, as the deck provides more visibility of the tree and more space for everyone.
Davesprite floats in, saying that has a solution. He has Jade increase the tree's size and pulls the top of it into the control room. Upon receiving praise, Davesprite simply says “if anyone knows what to do with a tree it's a bird yo recognize”. John rests under the tree's top, cuddling with some consorts.
Trivia[]
- The thirteenth troll that Vriska killed one year was Poinko, the oliveblood fantroll of Phil Gibson, the writer of this comic.
- This is the third time Equius breaks his horn in a Paradox Space comic (although this time it was broken to begin with), and the second that Phil Gibson has been involved in.
- Horuss receives a snowglobe from the Nudeseum
, which is a reference to the comic Night at the 100dseum.
Notes[]
- ↑ Forty-third discounting the non-narrative Holiday Activity Pages. Secret Sufferer itself is also divided into several discrete sub-stories following the holiday theme.