The sunglasses

The sunglasses are an inventory item in Problem Sleuth and Homestuck.

In Problem SleuthEdit

They were initially located in the Hallway, worn by the Ben Stiller bust blocking the door to Problem Sleuth's office. Wearing them renders you outrageously cool.

They originated shortly after Ben Stiller hurled them off his face in a fit of anger, causing them to take an unfavorable trajectory away from his creepy gaunt features and into a nearby slothful intern's birthday cake. The intern, seeing this, not as the terrible turn of fate which it was for Stiller, who developed the beginnings of a rather obnoxious cataract later that day, but for the boon which it was, decided to wear the glasses for evermore. He died later that day after he failed to see the bus which hit him. In his favor, the bus driver was speeding, late and in a hurry to end his shift, but it was fatal nonetheless. The glasses were taken from a particularly unscrupulous funeral director (possibly part-time whore) by the slightly more scrupulous casket manager for the same company, but were ultimately failed to be returned in time for the sealing of the intern's casket.

After this, the glasses vanished, along with the casket manager, into the night, to strike fear into the hearts of nightclub frequenters and drunks everywhere. They surfaced twelve years later with a street urchin who had earlier managed to acquire them from the clutches of a destitute drunk gambler who had been a bit too liberal with her vodka (and her bar tab). This urchin was in fact the first unscrupulous whore, driven into the business, not by financial need but want, after finding that the combined prostitution/stonemasonic career was, in fact, the most profitable industry since money printing itself.

This whore was taken, by means of a rather inconsiderate temporal warp, into the realms of imagination, where she landed among a farm comprised of other unscrupulous whores torn from the real world and flung into the imaginary. Seeing an opportunity, she took charge of the women and later married the Mobster Kingpin, forming a large prostitution/stonemasonic lodge on a floating island, otherwise known as the sleazy brothel in the sky in the abyss between the worlds of the imaginary and real, in that dimension.

After crafting, to the order of a suitably hard-boiled gentleman, the bust of Ben Stiller, an unscrupulous whore decided that the statue was incomplete without the sunglasses and snuck them into the order from the madame's closet (without realizing the importance of the shades). This statue was later delivered to Problem Sleuth's office, and was dumped in the Hallway, looking outrageously cool, and deliciously unattainable.

Problem Sleuth understandably tried to reach the sunglasses (unsuccessfully) for a full half hour. They were later stolen by unscrupulous whores who tied up and robbed Ace Dick.

The whores apparently didn't understand what treasure they had possessed, since Nervous Broad found it simply laying on the floor in the sleazy brothel in the sky when she arrived. Nervous Broad donned the eyewear and was granted the ability to see all events in the future of the universe.

Towards the end of the adventure, Godhead Pickle Inspector obtained a pair of sunglasses that bear more than a passing resemblance to the Ben Stiller Bust's. In fact, considering the way GPI used them to view all of creation, it is possible that he somehow came into contact with Nervous Broad and took her glasses, and then increased their size so he could use them.

In Homestuck Edit

Dave Strider

Dave Strider is given a strikingly similar pair of sunglasses by his friend John Egbert, accompanied by a signed photograph of Ben Stiller, because Dave is just that cool. It appears to be the photo that was used as a reference in the carving of the Ben Stiller bust. In fact, the universe reflects off of them when Dave is named correctly, much like when GPI wore them.

Bro has another pair of sunglasses which are triangular. Dave is shownSburb Logo wearing a similar pair on his birthday, the same day he received John's gift. Dirk Strider is also shown to wear these and has even turned them into a sentient entity.

Dave (and Davesprite) combined the sunglasses with an iPhone to make iShades.

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