Swifer Eggmop

Swifer Eggmop and Cliper Borden in the Homestuck Credits.

Swifer Eggmop is a jade blooded troll from Earth C who tended to a brood of new trolls laid on 4/13 alongside Cliper Borden.

Concept and creation

Swifer first appeared as an unnamed background character in the Homestuck Credits, and was first given the name "Swifer Eggmop" - for being the troll responsible for mopping the eggs with a Swiffer steam mop - by Tumblr user yd12k. She then appeared under that name in The Homestuck Epilogues.

Dubiously Canon

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Swifer Eggmop
“SWIFER: Ma’am and Ma’am’s wife! Bank’s closed, ladies!”
Typing Style	Perfect grammar and syntax. Drops the G from the end of words.
Pesterlogs
Epilogues (Candy) Catnapped 2 5 Candy: Epilogue 2 Chapter 8 Candy: Epilogue 5 Chapter 25 ? (==>) (2 pp.) (==>) (2 pp.) Catnapped, Part 3

In The Homestuck Epilogues

Swifer is introduced early on in Volume: Candy. Kanaya's assistant, she attempts to give well-meaning, if overeager, assistance by cleaning the Mother Grub. According to Rose, Swifer's particular cadence, reminiscent of a "1920s newsboy archetype", is proof of the mark Jane is leaving on the culture. She is very confident with her mop, and brandishes it "with a martial flourish that absolutely recalls the fact that she is from a natural-born warrior species", according to Rose's inner monologue. Swifer seems to genuinely love her work in the brooding caverns, and upon witnessing the hatching of Vriska Maryam-Lalonde, begins to sniffle, exclaiming “Golly gee oh my. This part always makes me tear up.”

The next time we see Swifer, things have changed. Karkat and Kanaya are working on a revolution, to help protect the ever-dwindling rights of their people. Karkat summons Swifer to his "office", a cave in the Mother Grub's tunnel system, because there is a leak directly above his desk. Swifer, who enjoys using “ain't”, “ommitin'” the g on words with an ING “endin'”, and referring to Karkat as “Commander”, has great faith in Karkat. She is very sincere, but quickly perplexed when Karkat asks why the leak persists, having believed she did her job by using the leaking water to “swif the bejeebus out of the floors”. She also is flustered by the thought of a bucket, despite growing up in a world where buckets have yet to be used for their Alternian-made purpose.

In Homestuck: Beyond Canon

Swifer makes her Volume: Meat debut in "Catnapped", joining Cliper in being transported to Midnight City by Jasprosesprite^2 alongside Jake English and Jane Crocker.

Apparently, before Kanaya left the planet to follow Dirk and Rose, she informed Swifer “Swifer I Must Go To Space To Retrieve My Wife You May Take Over As Matriarch While I Am Away”, appointing Swifer to the role of Matriarch on Earth C.

Trivia

• Swifer's sign as shown in Homestuck: Beyond Canon is Vircer, sign of the Accountable, a Blood-bound sign with a Prospit sway. This differs from the sign she wore in the Credits, which more closely resembled Virgo.