Meat, Epilogue Five is the fifth epilogue in the Meat narrative of The Homestuck Epilogues. It consists of chapters 28 to 32 of the Meat route.

Synopsis[edit | edit source]

  • John and Terezi are happy to see each other. John thinks Terezi is cute. They find Dad’s car in his wallet and station themselves within. John drives through the abyss.
  • Jane grows dependent on Trickster Mode. Dirk tries to give her a pep talk, while discreetly working on a backup plan of his own involving a red rifle.
  • On a hike to Jake’s mansion, Dave and Karkat pitch their presidential plans, winning Jake’s favour.
  • John and Terezi have a Real Conversation. John tells her of the Game Over timeline. Terezi tells him she Remem8ers. She patches up his wound, and the two have a Moment.
  • Roxy calls Dave, worried about the tranced Jade. Dave worries about Jake’s political speech. Roxy asks Dave about Coming Out. Dirk flips out over all this gender talk in his story and makes his move. He shoots Jade with a tranquilizer, neutralizing Alt!Calliope’s influence.
The Homestuck Epilogues
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Homestuck Characters John EgbertRose LalondeDave StriderJade HarleyJane CrockerRoxy LalondeDirk StriderJake EnglishAradia MegidoTavros NitramSollux CaptorKarkat VantasKanaya MaryamTerezi PyropeVriska SerketGamzee MakaraEridan AmporaFeferi PeixesAranea SerketMeenah PeixesDavepetasprite^2CalliopeAlt CalliopeCalibornLord English
Original Characters Harry Anderson EgbertVriska Maryam-LalondeTavros CrockerSwifer EggmopCliper BordenBarack Obama
Concepts CanonUltimate SelfTrollCherubEarth C
Related works HomestuckHomestuck^2: Beyond CanonHiveswapHiveswap Friendship SimulatorPesterquest
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