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Meat, Epilogue One is the first epilogue in the Meat narrative of The Homestuck Epilogues. It consists of the first 8 chapters of the Meat route.

Synopsis Edit

  • John eats the meat and decides to go defeat Lord English. He says goodbye to Roxy and Calliope, and writes letters for his friends.
  • Dave and Karkat watch TV. It's revealed that Jane is running for presidency of Earth C. Dave convinces Karkat to run against her. Dirk calls Dave during airing of his TV show, "RUMBLE IN DA PUMPKIN PATCH".
  • John arrives in Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 2. He punches Aranea, takes her Ring of Life, and shoves Gamzee back in the fridge.
  • John arrives in Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 1, alongside two other Retcon Johns. He zaps Jade's grimbarkness away, and recruits Dave for the Lord English fight.
  • Dirk, on phone with Dave, explains showmanship and how to be a good villain. They talk about politics, of Jane and Jake and Karkat. Rose calls Dirk.
  • In John’s backyard, one week before Act 1 began, the seven kids and adult John discuss Lord English battle plans.
  • Rose and Dirk talk about ascension on the phone. Rose is suffering from it while Dirk is adapting to it. Dirk asks her to come to his workshop later.
  • John zaps himself and the other kids to Caliborn’s Masterpiece.


The Homestuck Epilogues
Epilogues Prologue Epilogues
Meat Meat Candy Candy
Meat, Epilogue One Meat Candy, Epilogue One Candy
Meat, Epilogue Two Meat Candy, Epilogue Two Candy
Meat, Epilogue Three Meat Candy, Epilogue Three Candy
Meat, Epilogue Four Meat Candy, Epilogue Four Candy
Meat, Epilogue Five Meat Candy, Epilogue Five Candy
Meat, Epilogue Six Meat Candy, Epilogue Six Candy
Meat, Epilogue Seven Meat Candy, Epilogue Seven Candy
Meat, Epilogue Eight Meat Candy, Epilogue Eight Candy
Meat, Postscript Meat Candy, Postscript Candy
Homestuck Characters John EgbertRose LalondeDave StriderJade HarleyJane CrockerRoxy LalondeDirk StriderJake EnglishAradia MegidoTavros NitramSollux CaptorKarkat VantasKanaya MaryamTerezi PyropeVriska SerketGamzee MakaraEridan AmporaFeferi PeixesAranea SerketMeenah PeixesDavepetasprite^2CalliopeAlt CalliopeCalibornLord English
Original Characters Harry Anderson EgbertVriska Maryam-LalondeTavros Crocker Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde HarleySwifer EggmopCliper BordenBarack Obama
Concepts CanonUltimate SelfTrollCherubEarth C
Related works HomestuckHiveswapHiveswap Friendship SimulatorPesterquest
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