Meat, Epilogue One is the first epilogue in the Meat narrative of The Homestuck Epilogues. It consists of the first 8 chapters of the Meat route.
- John eats the meat and decides to go defeat Lord English. He says goodbye to Roxy and Calliope, and writes letters for his friends.
- Dave and Karkat watch TV. It's revealed that Jane is running for presidency of Earth C. Dave convinces Karkat to run against her. Dirk calls Dave during airing of his TV show, "RUMBLE IN DA PUMPKIN PATCH".
- John arrives in Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 2. He punches Aranea, takes her Ring of Life, and shoves Gamzee back in the fridge.
- John arrives in Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 1, alongside two other Retcon Johns. He zaps Jade's grimbarkness away, and recruits Dave for the Lord English fight.
- Dirk, on phone with Dave, explains showmanship and how to be a good villain. They talk about politics, of Jane and Jake and Karkat. Rose calls Dirk.
- In John’s backyard, one week before Act 1 began, the seven kids and adult John discuss Lord English battle plans.
- Rose and Dirk talk about ascension on the phone. Rose is suffering from it while Dirk is adapting to it. Dirk asks her to come to his workshop later.
- John zaps himself and the other kids to Caliborn’s Masterpiece.
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