Meat, Epilogue One is the first epilogue in the Meat narrative of The Homestuck Epilogues. It consists of the first 8 chapters of the Meat route.

Synopsis[edit | edit source]

  • John eats the meat and decides to go defeat Lord English. He says goodbye to Roxy and Calliope, and writes letters for his friends.
  • Dave and Karkat watch TV. It's revealed that Jane is running for presidency of Earth C. Dave convinces Karkat to run against her. Dirk calls Dave during airing of his TV show, "RUMBLE IN DA PUMPKIN PATCH".
  • John arrives in Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 2. He punches Aranea, takes her Ring of Life, and shoves Gamzee back in the fridge.
  • John arrives in Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 1, alongside two other Retcon Johns. He zaps Jade's grimbarkness away, and recruits Dave for the Lord English fight.
  • Dirk, on phone with Dave, explains showmanship and how to be a good villain. They talk about politics, of Jane and Jake and Karkat. Rose calls Dirk.
  • In John’s backyard, one week before Act 1 began, the seven kids and adult John discuss Lord English battle plans.
  • Rose and Dirk talk about ascension on the phone. Rose is suffering from it while Dirk is adapting to it. Dirk asks her to come to his workshop later.
  • John zaps himself and the other kids to Caliborn’s Masterpiece.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • The meeting of the 8 kids one week before the meteor hit is likely the same day as John drew the slimer illustration hung on his fridge, as [S] YOU THERE. BOY. indicates - "Your DAD was so proud when you drew this. He hung it up immediately and it's stayed there ever since. That was one week ago."


The Homestuck Epilogues
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Meat, Epilogue Two Meat.png Candy, Epilogue Two Candy.png
Meat, Epilogue Three Meat.png Candy, Epilogue Three Candy.png
Meat, Epilogue Four Meat.png Candy, Epilogue Four Candy.png
Meat, Epilogue Five Meat.png Candy, Epilogue Five Candy.png
Meat, Epilogue Six Meat.png Candy, Epilogue Six Candy.png
Meat, Epilogue Seven Meat.png Candy, Epilogue Seven Candy.png
Meat, Epilogue Eight Meat.png Candy, Epilogue Eight Candy.png
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Homestuck Characters John EgbertRose LalondeDave StriderJade HarleyJane CrockerRoxy LalondeDirk StriderJake EnglishAradia MegidoTavros NitramSollux CaptorKarkat VantasKanaya MaryamTerezi PyropeVriska SerketGamzee MakaraEridan AmporaFeferi PeixesAranea SerketMeenah PeixesDavepetasprite^2CalliopeAlt CalliopeCalibornLord English
Original Characters Harry Anderson EgbertVriska Maryam-LalondeTavros CrockerSwifer EggmopCliper BordenBarack Obama
Concepts CanonUltimate SelfTrollCherubEarth C
Related works HomestuckHomestuck^2: Beyond CanonHiveswapHiveswap Friendship SimulatorPesterquest
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